Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, but I wish I did...
A/N: Happy New Year! I hope you all have a wonderful evening. This story is for Lady Shaye, who encouraged me to write it :) Please, leave a review on your way out.
In case you can't tell, Jack is bold and Donna is italics
Reasons Why the Doctor and Rose Should Snog
The Doctor was walking through the TARDIS, searching for his companion. They had just arrived at Cloacina and he was itching to explore it. However, he seemed to have lost Donna. She was not in the kitchen, her room or the pool. As he passed the library, he suddenly noticed the sound somebody typing on a computer. A smile spread across his face as he sprinted into the room, ready to drag Donna off to his adventure.
She was sitting on the couch, fully engrossed in whatever she was doing, barely looking up as he ran into the room. He stood in the doorway, smiling broadly, and waiting for her to ask him what he was doing. However, she never did. She just kept typing, completely ignoring him. He coughed slightly, but she did not react. The last time this had happened was a few weeks ago, when he had accidentally ruined her favourite top (He was only trying to help her! He did not mean to make it burst into flames!) He stood there for another minute, before curiosity got the better of him.
"Donna, what are you doing?" he asked.
Finally, she looked up at him, smiling as she did. "Oh, nothing really. Just chatting with a friend of mine. Martha said you knew him. He's called Jack, Jack Harkness."
"Oh, yes, I do know him. A very old friend of mine, literally. I didn't know you knew him."
"Martha suggested him as a friend on Facebook," she said. "She mentioned we have something in common."
"Really? What could you and Jack possibly have in common?" the Doctor asked. Donna turned the laptop around so he could see. It was a document titled:
"'Reasons Why the Doctor and Rose Tyler Should Snog'
By Donna Noble and Jack Harkness (President and vice-president of the 'TDRSSSG')"
The Doctor stared at the document for quite awhile. "What... when... what?" he took a deep breath, trying to make sense of it. "What in the name of Rassilon is that?"
"I thought you could read, Doctor. It clearly says that these are the reasons why you and Rose should snog, when you are reunited. Jack and I both think that it will be healthy for you." the Doctor stared at her.
"Em, do I want to know what 'TDRSSSG' stands for?" he asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence had passed.
"The Doctor and Rose Should Snog and Shag Group," Donna replied. "Jack and I are the only members so far, but we're trying to get more people involved." As she spoke, he had the strangest urge to go and jump into the nearest black hole. However, he could not resist leaning forward to reading the list, with Donna watching.
#1: He is an alien, who is too skinny for words and nobody else wants that
#1a: Except Martha
#1b: And Jack of course#2: They "danced"
"Why are there quotations marks?" the Doctor asked. "We did dance, but we didn't... do the other thing... you know..."
"Shag?" Donna supplied, smirking as a slight blush spread across the Doctor's cheeks. Quickly she added:
#2a: And he definitely wanted more.
The Doctor shot her a dirty look.
#3: He keeps her shirt in his pocket
#3a: Along with her underwear
"No, I don't. Her shirt is in old her room along with all her... other things."
#4: He is completely in love with her
#4a: But he is also in complete denial
"I am NOT in denial!"
#5: You cannot have that much sexual tension without bursting. And since neither of them have burst they must have had sex!
That was it. The next time the Doctor saw Jack, he was going to strangle him. And possibly kick him between the legs. Then cut off his reproductive parts. Then strangle him again.
#6: He sleeps in her room
#6a: And thinks about all the time they've "danced"
"Donna, could you please remove the quotation marks?"
"Please? Pretty please with cherries on top?"
#7: He has a shrine for her in his room.
"I do not have a shrine for her in my room!" Although, he did have a photo album with all his pictures of her hidden under his pillow, but there was no way Donna could know about that.
#8: It would be a really great show. I'm drooling just thinking about it. I bet he is an amazing kisser. Maybe he would snog me, if I dyed my hair blonde.
#8b: Oh, right, this is not 'Why the Doctor Should Snog Jack'. I mean, those reasons are obvious, and he has always been quite possessive of me.
Brain bleach, brain bleach, his TARDIS for some brain bleach. Actually, it was going to take more than that to wipe that particular image from his mind.
Oh, the next time he went to Cardiff... Maybe he should make his own list: "Reasons Why I Should Kill Jack Harkness the Next Time I See Him".
#9: They are the Doctor and Rose. No explanation needed. #10: If he doesn't snog her, I will slap him.
#10: If he doesn't snog her, I will slap him.
The Doctor looked at Donna, then at the screen, then back at Donna, who suddenly got that glint in her eyes. The one he remembered seeing in Jackie's just before she had slapped him to kingdom come. He slowly backed away from her until he was out of the library, then he ran to the console room and punched in the coordinates for Cardiff.