Ami threw sand at Mami.

Mami tackled Ami to the floor.

Someone took a picture.

Ami stood up and grinned down at her defeated sister. "Ha! Ami is the Beach Wrestling Queen! Take that, Mami!"



Ritsuko observed the idols, standing next to Producer. "They seem happy."

"Yeah, they do," Producer agreed. Both producers adjusted their glasses at the same time.

"Well, I'm gonna go get a tan," Ritsuko announced. "I challenged Hibiki to a tan-off. I have to win or she'll force me to perform on stage."

The idols had randomly decided to go to a random beach for a random reason and do random stuff randomly. The beach they were at was literally called Random Beach, and there was a legend that whosoever stepped foot on this beach would do random stuff for completely random reasons.

"LOOK, YOU GUYS!" Haruka shouted from the water. "I'M RIDING A DOLPHIN!"

Yup, that legend was definitely true.

Yukiho held up her shovel. "Who wants to get buried in the sand?" she called.

"I do!" said some random kid. Yukiho smiled.

"O-OK! Please be patient!"

She then dug a hole in under twelve seconds. The random kid jumped in it. Yukiho buried him.

"A-anyone else…?"

A bunch of random kids cheered. Yukiho buried all of them.

"Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san? Ritsuko-san! RITSUKO-SAN!"


Ritsuko glared up at whoever was talking to her. Makoto beamed down at her and held out a crab.

"I found a crab." She smiled wider.

"…go tell someone who cares, kid."

"OK." She went to Producer. "Producer. Producer. Producer. Producer. Producer? Producer! PRODCUER!"


"I found a crab."


"Bye. I'm gonna go bother all those kids Yukiho buried."

"I feel like I work at a cemetery…!"

Takane stared at the sun. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Ow…" She looked away, her eyes red. "Hibiki, it is your turn. Try to defeat my mighty record."

Hibiki laughed. "No problemo!" she insisted. She stared at the sun. "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!" She looked away. "Six! Six! I got six! Ya got five an' I—I got six! Six! Yeah!"

"If you just hold still…it'll leave us alone," Iori hissed.

Yayoi's lower lip quivered. "What…what is that?" she whispered.

Iori glared at it. "It's…a can someone didn't recycle!"

Yayoi gasped. "No…! How could someone do such a thing…?!"

Iori shook her head. "Hold on. I'm going to turn it in."

"To the police…?!"

"No, you fool! To that store that collects bottles and cans and gives you money!"

"They have those in Japan?"

"I…this is…just hold still while I pick it up!"

The can rolled towards them. Iori and Yayoi screamed and threw their arms around each other.

Iori gulped. "This is going to take a while…"

Azusa grabbed Chihaya's hand and put it on her hip. "See?"

Chihaya blinked. "I do not see the point of this, Azusa-san. I could be singing."

Azusa clicked her tongue. "No, no, that won't do…maybe…" She moved Chihaya's hand off her hip and behind her hair. "There~! And now we need wind." She turned on a random electric fan, which was completely normal considering this was Random Beach. Chihaya's hair started to blow in the fake wind.

"I still do not see the point in this."

"Be quiet, Chihaya-chan! I'm trying to make you look sexy!" Azusa placed her face in her hand. "Hm…puff out your chest a little."

Chihaya leaned forward and stuck her chest out.

"Lean back again, Chihaya-chan. Stand erect and proud! And puff out your chest!"

Chihaya tried. "This is stupid."

Azusa clicked her tongue. "That won't work…" She walked over and moved Chihaya's other arm to her side, then moved it inwards just a little so it shoved her breast into the middle of her chest. Chihaya squirmed.

"Can I be done now?" she asked.

"Perfect!" Azusa exclaimed. "Chihaya-chan, you look so cute!" She picked up a camera and lifted it to her face. "Now hold that pose…and smile!"

Chihaya tried.
"…no wait, don't smile. Just look natural! …there you go, you've got it!" Azusa began to snap pictures.

Chihaya sighed. "I feel…abused."

Haruka continued to ride her dolphin. "I FOUND A SEA CUCUMBER, YOU GUYS! LOOK!"

Miki suddenly appeared next to her in the form of a mermaid. "Haruka! Haruka, look! Miki found the lost city of Atlantis and the people were so grateful to Miki that they made her their queen! And a mermaid!"

"Miki-chan, you're not wearing a shirt," Haruka observed.

Miki giggled. "Miki knows! Now all the mermen can look at Miki's big boobs all they want!"

"Miki-chan, that's…why?"

Mami rose to her feet. "…Ami."

Ami whirled to face her. She gasped and her eyes narrowed. "You…"

"That's right." Mami tilted her chin and frowned. "Mami is back."

"But…how?" Ami muttered. "Ami thought she killed you…"

"You thought wrong!" Mami lashed, bending and scooping up a handful of sand. "Now Mami takes her revenge! Now Mami proves to her little sister that she can be strong! Because…" She broke off and started to cry. "Because…Ami has never thought Mami could do anything right! You always hated Mami! Why…? Mami loves you so much!"

Ami's eyes softened and she stepped closer, touching Mami's cheek gently. "You know Ami never meant to hurt you."

"No!" Mami cried, slapping her hand away and scurrying backwards. "You don't care about Mami! Just admit it!"

"Ami's sorry," Ami murmured. "Mami…Ami is so sorry. Please, put the sand down. We can settle this at home…"

"None of that matters now," Mami sniffed. "None of that…we can't keep doing this, Ami. It's time to face each other. It's time to end this once and for all."

Ami's eyes narrowed again and she scooped up a handful of sand. "You know Ami is the stronger sister. You can not beat her."

"That's what you think!"

Mami threw her sand at Ami, who dodged it. She retaliated with her own handful of sand. Mami was struck. She screamed and stumbled.

Ami smirked. "You know you cannot win…"

Mami looked over at her, eyes frightened and shining with tears.

"Yukiho. Yukiho. Yukiho. Yukiho. Yukiho? Yukiho! YUKIHO!"


"I found a crab."


"OK. Random kid. Random kid. Random kid. Random kid. Random kid? Random kid! RANDOM KID!"


"I found a crab."



"Six! Yeah, I got six!" Hibiki laughed. "Ya can't beat me Takane!"

Takane dipped her head. "I admit defeat."

"Ha!" Hibiki scoffed. She put her hands on her hips proudly. "Now ya know not to mess with Hibiki the Super Okinawan!"

"Hibiki, you are a superhero?"

"You're darn right I am."

Yayoi whimpered. "Iori-chan…what do we do?"

Iori took a deep breath. "I'm going to pick it up. Right now."

"No, Iori-chan!" Yayoi sobbed. "You can't! You'll get hurt!"

Iori set her face into a hard frown. "It's for a good cause, Takatsuki Yayoi-chan. Now…don't move," she ordered. She leaned down very slowly and picked up the can. "I got it! It must be asleep…!"

"Go, Iori-chan!" Yayoi whispered. Iori grinned triumphantly and threw the can in the recycling bin. Yayoi blinked. "Eh…? But, Iori-chan…weren't you going to give it to that store that accepts cans and bottles and gives you money?"

"What are you talking about? There aren't any stores like that in Japan!" Iori laughed. "Nihihi! Let's go brag!"

"U-uun! OK, Iori-chan!"

"Can I please be done," Chihaya half-whined. "I just want to find the lost city of Atlantis so they can turn me into a siren!"

Azusa snapped one more picture. "Chihaya-chan, when you smoosh your breasts together like that, it makes them appear larger. See?" She showed her model the picture.

Chihaya observed it. "…you are right," she murmured. "…huh. What do you know. Well, I must go order Miki to show me Atlantis. Goodbye."

"Have fun singing half-naked, Chihaya-chan~"

Mami rolled out of the way and jumped to her feet, panting. "Mami…Mami isn't done yet!" she cried. "Mami will defeat you!"

Ami chuckled darkly and shook her head. "You don't know when to give up, do you?"

Mami gulped and met her gaze evenly.

Ami nodded and frowned. "Very well, then. Ami will have to unleash her full power after all."

Mami nodded back. "Mami too."

"Special Sandy Ultra Uber Super Mega Amazing Meta Ninja Magic Extreme Ultimate Cool Awesome I'm Running Out Of Words Supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious Move!" both twins shouted at once.

"Sandcastle Mayhem!" Ami yelled. She constructed a giant sand castle in under thirty-nine seconds.

"Yukipyon's Hole-Digging Skills!" Mami yelled back. Yukiho suddenly appeared next to her and dug a bunch of holes.



Ami knocked her sandcastle down, hoping to trap Mami, but Mami hid in one of Yukiho's holes far away. Ami cursed herself for missing.

Mami suddenly jumped out of the hole and ran towards Ami with a cry. Ami gasped. Mami shoved her into one of Yukiho's holes. Ami screamed and landed with a thud. She looked pleadingly up at Mami, who was then joined by Yukiho. The latter began to bury Ami alive under the sand.

Ami coughed. "Mami…Mami, Ami has always loved you…you are so strong, and Ami…Ami just got jealous, that's all! Please let Ami out!" she begged. "Ami is so sorry! She's sorry! Mami…!"

Mami stared at her.

"It's too late to 'pologize! It's too late!

I said it's too late to 'pologize! It's too late!


Ami looked over at Yukiho. "Who wrote this junk…?"

Ritsuko stretched. "Well, I think it's time to go," she sighed, smiling. "Look at this. I look like a person with a really dark tan."

"You ARE," Producer told her.

"I know. Now, gather up the girls. It's time to go home," Ritsuko announced.

"Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san. Ritsuko-san? Ritsuko-san! RITSUKO-SAN!"

"WHAT?!" Ritsuko screamed, whirling on Makoto.

Makoto grinned and held out her crab. "I got my crab back from the bully."


"Can I keep it?"

"I don't care."

"I think I'm gonna name it Eugene."


"Eugene Krabs."

"…Makoto, get in the car."

"OK~. Come on, Eugene!"

The rest of the girls slowly filed into the car. Ritsuko observed them.

"Are we missing anyone?" she asked.

"No!" the girls answered.

Ritsuko nodded. "OK. Let's go!"

They drove away. When they were about halfway home, Yukiho suddenly let out a loud squeak. "Oh my gosh…"

"What?!" Ritsuko snapped.

"Is there something wrong with Eugene?!" Makoto gasped.

Yukiho shook her head. "We left Ami-chan buried in the sand…"

Mami looked away.

"…bah, we'll get her tomorrow," Ritsuko decided.

"Mr. Krabs likes money," Makoto declared. "That's my crab's name."

"I thought it was Eugene," Yukiho squeaked.

"Mr. Eugene Krabs."

Yukiho nodded.

"…I have a crab~"


"I'm SORRY!"

Ami, back at the beach, sighed. "Ami is gonna be here a while, isn't she?" she muttered to herself. "Luckily for Ami, Ami can breath under sand. Heh. Suckers."

(A/N: I really don't know what I was trying to do here. I speciallize in randomness so...I just...I don't know what I meant to accomplish.

In any case, this thing was LOADED with references (OK, there really weren't that many...) so if you guys find them, you get an awesome virtual cookie. *sets out platter of virtual cookies* No cheating now, you only get one if you get a reference.

Yeah. Bye.)