Disclaimer: I own nothing at all and if I made money from this, I wouldn't be on this site writing shit in my free time!
"Courtney, Seriously If I wanted to kill you right now I could and nobody in this neighborhood would even give a shit!" Chris yelled at her "Why did I agree to even let you drive?!"
You see Chris and Courtney have been sleeping together in exchange for Courtney getting advances in the game and Courtney wanted the money and she wasn't stupid, She blackmailed Chris into dating her and making it public to the media and if he didn't agree to date her then she would press charges against him for sleeping with a minor. The two were currently driving to some interview for the new cast of season 5, which of course Courtney made sure she was on and Courtney insisted that she drive Chris's car there with him and got them extremely lost.
"I'm driving because I said so!" Courtney told him "I have a better sense of direction then you!"
"I would have gotten us there by now!" Chris yelled at her "This is what I get for sleeping with chicks from the show!"
"Chicks?!" Courtney yelled at him "Are you telling me that you slept with other girls on that show?"
"Yes, yes I did" Chris smirked at her "Jealous?"
"No." Courtney laughed "Do you know why I'm not? Because I'm not an idiot! Those girls were obviously all idiots to not get a lawyer involved"
"First of all I just want to tell you that obviously we are in the bad section of town and those people over there look like they're making a drug deal" Chris pointed out "Second of all, We've been "Dating" for like 3 weeks now "Officially" and I was just wondering how much money it's going to take to get rid of you?"
Courtney glared at him and took a really sharp turn down another street that looked equally bad as the one they were on just moments before.
"You can't just pay me to not press charges" Courtney laughed "You leave me and you're image is ruined and you can kiss your show goodbye because no parents would let their kids sign up!"
"Seriously?!" Chris yelled at her "What is wrong with you?! I slept with you like 6 times! and at least two of those times I was drunk!"
"That's your fault" Courtney told him "I could care less what you do, You pretty much belong to me now"
"Are you like nuts?" Chris asked her "I'm not even kidding! I can see why Duncan cheated on you! You are crazy! I've had dozens of one night stands and none of them ever threatened to take me to court and get my show cancelled if I didn't agree to date them! Why are you dating me anyway?"
"You have money and fame" Courtney told him "I want it, If I'm going to sue someone and blackmail them it might as well be you, I mean, Seriously are you aware of how much money you have? I'd be stupid to let you go"
"That actually makes sense..." Chris admitted "I'm impressed. Creeped out but Impressed"
"Thank you" Courtney smirked "So, Where was this interview supposed to be again?"
"Not anywhere near that homeless man pissing on the sidewalk..." Chris sighed "Look, You need to ask for directions! Seriously, I can't be late for this stupid interview! I'm the host!"
"I'm not asking for directions" Courtney told him making another turn down a long road with a bunch of pot holes "I've been to that city before! My friend Tabitha drove us all there once and this is the road she took"
"So, Did Tabitha hate you all?" Chris smirked at her "Or was she just as bad a driver as you?"
"So, which girls have you slept with?" Courtney asked and changed the subject
"Does it matter?" Chris asked "My sex life isn't your business! You and I are as good as done in a week"
"We aren't done until I say were done!" Courtney told him "I'm calling the shots!"
"So you think" Chris smirked at her "In reality I have all the power here, I'm just humoring you...Also, we should be on a highway by now which thanks to you, we haven't even been on one highway"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Courtney slammed on the breaks
"It means that I'm doing what you want for now" Chris smirked at her "Do you want my GPS?"
"No! I don't need directions! I'm a damn C.I.T. and I know what I'm doing!" Courtney told him "Now tell me what you want to do to get rid of me!"
"Oh nothing..." Chris smirked at her "Keep driving..."
The two kept driving in silence for about 20 minutes and Courtney was muttering something to herself while Chris just looked out the window and occasionally laughed to himself. Finally Courtney couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm stopping for gas" Courtney told him
"Okay" Chris told her
"Give me your credit card" Courtney told him
"I thought you were stopping for gas" Chris rolled his eyes "I guess I have to pay for it even though you're the one who has no clue where we are?"
"Look, just give me it!" Courtney took the credit card from Chris's hand "I'll be right back"
"I'll be here" Chris told her as she got out "Because I don't know where the hell I am and I'm really afraid if I get out of the car I'm going to get mugged"
Courtney managed to get the gas and successfully manage to get gas without getting robbed or killed. Once she got back into the car she threw the card at Chris and left the gas station.
"Did you ask the guy for directions?" Chris sighed in annoyance
"No, I told you I know where I'm going" Courtney groaned in annoyance "Have a little bit of faith in me! I always get what I want"
"Well do you want to get to the interview?" Chris asked her "I'm starting to think you don't..."
"Shut up!" Courtney told him "I know where I'm going, Just listen to the radio and shut up!"
"Bridgette" Chris smirked at her
"What?" Courtney glared at him "What about Bridgette?"
"Don't look at me!" Chris laughed "Pay attention to the damn road!"
"I am paying attention to the road!" Courtney told him "Now, what about Bridgette?"
"I slept with her" Chris admitted "Geoff has no clue and Bridgette was so drunk she wouldn't even remember, I also slept with Izzy who is very frisky, Lindsay who is just an idiot sober or drunk, That Dakota chick when she became a mutant because I just wanted to try sleeping with a lizard girl! Oh and Heather, Yeah, Definitely Heather because she really wanted to win the game and get a whole guest appearance episode so she slept with me maybe 4 times, Oh and then there was this Anne Maria girl, I got tested after that one! Oh and then there was Blainley and Sadie at the same time and that was a huge mistake but I was really drunk and I try not to remember that night..."
Courtney said nothing more. Instead she turned the car off to the side of the road and glared at Chris.
"Oh really?" Courtney asked him "Well in case you're wondering I slept with almost every guy on the show! Including Harold, Do you know why?"
"Because you're a whore?" Chris asked laughing
"No!" Courtney told him "It's because I'm a winner! I do whatever I can to make sure I win the game!"
"And yet you never did..." Chris taunted her
"This season I'm going to win" Courtney told him "Do you know why? Because you are going to help me! Sleeping with the idiot guys on the show was stupid and pointless, I should have went for you right from the start! That's what I'm doing wrong! I tried making sexual alliances with all the wrong people!"
"I just wanted to have sex" Chris admitted "I mean look at my job! I work on a show with stupid interns that are 80% male and the other 20% are like...If Eva and Jo had a lesbian baby..."
"Ew" Courtney admitted
"I know, right" Chris sighed and continued "So, I mean eventually when everyone hates you and all you do is host this damn show with really unattractive interns and everyday you have to listen to them bitch and moan about teenage shit you eventually realize that you know them so well that you could easily sleep with any one of them and then...You do it! Because after not getting laid in like 6 months at a shot 16 year old girls start to look good..."
"That's really attractive in a strange way..." Courtney admitted "I knew I was attracted to you for something other than money..."
"You're actually attracted to me?" Chris smirked at her "I'm good with that, I like my girls to be feisty"
"Then maybe we can help each other?" Courtney smirked "Get off to a better start? You'll help me and I'll see what I can do for you?"
"Back seat?" Chris asked
"Now?" Courtney asked him
"Let's go" Chris agreed
"The interview?" Courtney asked him
"Screw it" Chris told her "We're already lost anyway"
"You're right" Courtney agreed "I really have no idea how to get out of here but I know how to get to the back seat..."
Chris and Courtney never did make it to the interview and ended up staying the night in some crappy motel room being paranoid all night about getting robbed.
Why the hell did I write this? Not a damn clue...I just love Chris/Courtney! If I had my way this whole fandom would be spammed with it.