AN: Heyo, my creatures. I bring you yet another tale of L's cuteness, Light's frustration and Matsuda's...Matsuda-ness. Yes, I understamd somethings do not make sense, but just go with it ;)
Oh, sorry if the format is screwed. It wont let me edit much, which is pissing me off. If anyone knows how to help, please PM or kik me.
Diclaimer: I do not own Death Note. I just take the characters and lock them inside a basement inside my head. I only play with them! Well, define 'play'...
Warning: L/Light. Not much, I promise! Why is this under 'warning', anyway. This isn't a warning, L/Light is happiness!
Happy Sign!: L/Light fluffiness here! Come, my creatures, come!
"Okay, so how are we going to do this?" L asked Light. They were standing hand cuffed together, in a bedroom with their pajamas folded carefully folded on the bed.
L had decided that they would skip their showers, (Light insisted that was to be plural!) after claiming that "A shower would wash away the sweet scent of the several lollipops he had eaten earlier'. The same goes for brushing his teeth. Light was not pleased about his lack of hygiene.
L stared at Light. "Well?"
"Aren't you going to get changed?"
Light began to blush. 'Damn it! Why do I have to blush!?' he thought, embarrassed and slightly exasperated. "Well, do you mind...?"
L blinked, still staring. "Mind what?"
"You know, watching."
"Oh, don't worry, I don't mind watching." L said, trying to reassure Light.
Light let air out quickly through his nose. "That's not what I meant. Do you mind not watching?"
"Watching me get changed!"
L blinked again. "Oh, right. I apologise." Light tried to ignore the fact that he sounded a little disappointed, or the surge of smugness he felt because of that.
L turned slightly away from Light. Sighing, Light realised that was the best he could get from the pervert, he quickly stripped his pants and boxers, replacing them with his pajama bottoms. L was a grown man after all. He didn't have anything Light didn't have. Or so, he thought.
"You have a really nice butt."
L looked at Light like he was mentally challenged. "I said, you have a nice butt." He repeated. "I wish I had a butt like yours."
Light sputtered for a moment, lost for words. 'Seriously? What is wrong with this guy!?'
"Y-you...You said you weren't going to look!"
"I never said that. I said I didn't mind not looking. But I also said I didn't mind looking either. I just chose the one I liked better."
"And that was perving on me!?"
L tilted his head. "I wouldn't call it 'perving', more like 'admiring the male body from an interesting perspective.'
Light stared at him shocked. "Misa's right. You are a pervert." he muttered.
"I wouldn't mind admiring it in a more interesting position either." L mused.
Light whipped his head at him. L calmly stared him down, seemingly oblivious to the hidden meaning of his own statement. "You, Ryuzaki, are straight forwardly awkward."
L nodded. "So I've been told."
Light shook his head, choosing to wipe his memory of the past conversation. "I wonder if anyone has mind-bleach?" he thought sarcastically. "Well, can you unlock the hand cuffs?"
L jumped and stared at him with a mixture of horror and incredulity on his face. Light thought that if he could, he would fall off a chair and through his hands in the air, just to prove how shocked he was.
(AN: L head-pats to anyone who can point out that scene, or at least recognise it!)
"Why on Earth would I do that?"
It was Light's turn to stare at him, dead pan. "How do you expect me to change my shirt?"
"Well, you'll just have to figure it out. I'm not going to unlock the handcuffs, you could run away or maybe slip a weapon somewhere."
"I don't see how hand cuffs prevent me from doing that." Light said, darkly.
"Anyway, I'm not unlocking these handcuffs."
Light huffed. "But I really need to change my shirt."
"Well I suggest that you either sleep in it or that you figure it out."
Light glared. He could not stand to sleep in dirty clothes. That was one of the reasons he hated his confinement; they had made him wear the same dirty outfit for weeks!
"I would appreciate if you wouldn't make this a test."
"A test?" L paused, thinking. "Hmm, no, more of a challenge." He finished with a small, but wicked, gleam in his eye. Light did not like that look.
"Fine! But this wont end well, I promise you that."
L gave another of his rare, small smiles. "I think I'll take my chances."
Light sighed. "Alright." He managed to free his arm and his head, but the arm that the hand cuff was on remained a problem. (AN: Could someone please tell me what arm this was?) "How do I get this sleeve off?"
L looked at it thoughtfully. "Maybe I could fit-"
"No! That would never work!" Light interrupted quickly, before L could test his theory.
"Well, then. I guess you just have to cut it off."
L sighed, before grabbing scissors and cutting from the neck hole and down to the end of the sleeve. Of course, he folded it before placing it on the floor next to him.
"Well, I'm not going to cut through this sleeve, I like this shirt." Light stated after fitting his other arm and head in. His shirt, a white one, had a single print of an apple in the middle. He didn't know why, but the shirt just appealed to him, in an odd way.
"Hmm, I think I know." That was his only warning before L shoved his head and the top half of his hunched over body underneath Lights shirt.
Light blushed hard at the feel of the other man's head pressed against his chest. "Ry-Ryuzaki!? What are you doing!?"
"I'm-ugh- trying to fit through your sleeve."
"What!? No, that's crazy. Actually, no, that's just stupid. There's no way you could fit through my sleeve. Besides, you're stretching my shirt!"
"Well, we'll never know if we don't try. I think I can do it." He started to struggle even more.
'Here it is!' L thought as he found the hole. He started to stretch it and squeezed his head through. This was more difficult than he had expected. He difinatly didn't expect Light's chest to be so close to the sleeve. His cheek was pressed agains Light's...Light's...Erm, the place where Light's nipples were. His chest! Yes, the top half of Light's chest! L tried, and failed, notto blush about that. 'On second thought, why not savour this moment?' L thought. L squeezed his head through it more and more. 'Almost there.' He thought. He heard Light grunt something, but couldn't really make it out. Almost and...there!
Straight into Light's chin.
"OW!" Light cried out, maneuvering his head away from L's face. "You idiot! Your head smashed right underneath my chin!"
"Uh, well, I was practicing to be a Jack in the Box."
"Are you serious? How did you not realise that that wasn't my sleeve?"
"Erm, well," L, at least, had the decency to look sheepish. "I think I got lost."
"Well, it's like a maze down there! I can't see anything!" L said defensively.
"Okay, now you just sound like Matsuda." Light rolled his eyes. Their bickering was interrupted as the door was opened and a loud voice said;
"Hey Ryuzaki, I was wondering about- Uh..."
"Oh, speak of the Devil." Light muttered underneath his breath.
"Um," Matsuda cleared his throat. It wasn't every day he saw L inside Light's shirt with their faces so close that they almost touched. Maybe it was some weird sex thing, after all, L was very insistent about those handcuffs... "Is this a bad time? Should I come back later?"
"Yes, this is a very ba-" Lightly was cut off swiftly by L.
"Now is fine." He said calmly. "What is it?"
Matsuda was more than pleased to move past the awkwardness of first seeing them together. "Well, I was wondering about bring your kid to work day. See, I have this nephew and he really wants to be a detective, y'know, like Sherlock Holmes, and I-"
"Matsuda would you just get out!" Light shouted, finally losing his patience. Why did Matsuda have to walk in on the worst of times!?
"I can do that!" Matsuda shouted, withering underneath Light's glare, before running out of the room. But he then poked his head around the doorframe. "I assume you don't want me to tell Misa-Misa?"
"Okay!" This time, Matsuda slammed his door and ran down to the main room. Damn, his nephew was going to be really disappointed that he didn't get an answer. He would just have to ask again tomorrow.
Light sighed. "Okay. This time, go for the sleeve!"
L wriggled back down, pausing as he looked for side to side. His hair tickled against Light, who fought hard not to reach out and grab it. To rip it out of kiss it, Light didn't know.
L didn't move for another minute or so. "What are you doing?" L didn't answer. But if Light listened hard, he could hear faint breathing. His biggest clue was when L drooled on him. "Oh, that's disgusting! L, wake the Hell up!"
"Hmm?" He felt L shake his head again.
"How did you fall asleep like that?"
"Well, I'm tired."
"Yes, but, does it seem very appropriate to sleep there?"
"Exactly. Now hurry up!"
After mush more squirming and much more sensitive body parts pinched or smashed or drooled on, L managed to get his head out of the sleeve. He stopped and took a few breaths.
"Hey Light? You don't suppose we could take a picture?"
"One more question like that and I'll start calling you Matsuda."
More and more squirming. More and more breathing. A little bit more drooling. L's arm and other shoulder were now free.
"Okay." He said before tugging more. But he tugged to hard, and both he and Light landed on the floor. Hard.
"Oof, sorry Light."
"Ugh...just hurry up."
L wriggled and squirmed, kicking Light several times in the process. But finally, he was free!
"Oh thank God." Light cheered, lying eagle-spread on the floor. L flopped down next him.
"Yes, thank God."
"Let's never do that again."
"Agreed." L stood up, dragging Light up, too. He quickly followed the same order Light had done. He stripped his pants and briefs first, before changing into under wear that seriously had prints of cake on them. Not that Light was looking, or anything. He was better than that...or so he said. L then changed into pajama bottoms with prints of strawberries on them.
"Uh, Ryuzaki? I think you're going a little over board with the food prints." L just shrugged.
"Okay, let me change my shirt now."
No! Those words were absolute death to Light's ears! If the could, he swore that his ears would of run far, far away.
But that was no to be so. Because L, calm as ever, simply unlocked the handcuffs and changed shirts. Than, he just replaced the handcuff on his wrist again and locked it.
Light was shocked into silence. But not for long, apparently. "Y-you just..."
"Yes?" L looked him dead in the eye.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!? YOU HYPOCRITE!"
"Calm down. I couldn't of, if I had unlocked your handcuff, you would of tried to run."
"But I could of done that then!"
"True, but the handcuffs have a tracking device built into them. I would of known where you would've gone." L thought for a moment. "You know, we could of avoided all that if you had just slept in your shirt."
Light felt his eye twitch. He was definably going to punch L in the face. "I couldn't. It was dirty."
"But you didn't do anything today." No, he was going to kick L in the balls instead.
"Incase you didn't notice, Matsuda spilt COKE ALL OVER ME! You're lucky I could hose it off, otherwise I would of dragged you to the shower then and there."
"Well, maybe if you weren't such a neat freak." L mused. Definably a kick in the balls.
L grabbed a pillow in the shape of a strawberry off of the bed. "Well, come on Light. I'm tired."
Light sighed. It was going to be a long night.