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Word prompt: Fidgety

Un-betad

BPOV

I'm nervous and fidgety and I hate him all the more for it.

The name Cullen isn't that uncommon is it? I mean just because there are two new Dr. Cullen's starting here at Seattle Grace today, doesn't mean it has to be him or someone in his family right?

I sometimes wonder if he or his family ever thinks about me. Then I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter if they do. They left me. They destroyed me. They don't deserve to have a place in my thoughts or heart anymore.

When he broke things off with me, it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. It was bad enough when the whole Cullen family left Forks, and left me here alone. Of course at the time I still had my father Charlie, but he was always at the station, or fishing. Short of committing a crime or growing gills I didn't stand a chance of gaining his attention. My mom Renee was busy chasing after her flavor of the month. Usually they were half her age, she said it keeps her young. She couldn't be bothered with me. Esme was more of a mother to me than Renee ever was, and Carlisle was like a second father to me. Emmett and Alice were the brother and sister I'd never had. Alice was my best friend and confidant. But they all left me without a second thought.

I had convinced myself and him that it would be ok. But that was only because I knew we would be together again in a year. I was counting down the days on my calendar. What a fool I'd been. We didn't make it through the first semester.

After he broke things off with me, my best friend Jacob met the love of his life Vanessa. She was a new student to his school. I understood it being a new relationship and all that he had to devote more time to her, but he ended up abandoning me as well.

I finished my senior year of high school in a daze. The last semester of school my father Charlie passed away. Since I was already eighteen, I was allowed to stay on my own. You would think that with Charlie having been a police officer he would have had better life insurance. However what he had barely covered the cost of the funeral. Renee couldn't be bothered to come help. Jacob's father Billy helped me best he could. I ended up having to put the house up for sale. What little bit of profit that was made from the sale I used to pay off all of his outstanding bills.

As soon as I could I packed up what little I had left and moved to Seattle to attend school. I couldn't stand to stay in Forks, there were too many memories there. Now it seems that the worst of my memories may be coming here to Seattle to haunt me.

I'm reposting a story I had started last year, with a few changes. The chapters will be short, I will attempt to update daily, if not at least several times a week.