Everyone was so down lately. Especially L, since he had to unlock the handcuffs. They were getting no where with the Kira case, it was beginning to seriously depress everyone. Everyone, that is, except for Matsuda.
'I wish everyone would just cheer up.' Matsuda thought, slightly glum. 'I mean, just because our only suspect is innocent, that's no reason for all of the negative attitude.' Matsuda quickly sat up straight at his desk, managing to knock over a glass of water at the same time. 'I know! Jokes always make me feel better, maybe I can cheer everyone else up?' He grinned. Maybe this was to cheer himself up more than anyone else.
Matsuda giggled- yes, giggled, for he is a manly man! Or a fairy...- as he took the can of whipped cream from his bag and sprayed some around the corners of his mouth. He then flopped down in the middle of the hallway and played dead. It didn't occur to him just how insensitive that was, but he wasn't really paying much attention to details, now was he?
'I can hear someone!' There was a pair of footsteps echoing from around the corner. Matsuda fixed his gaze on the wall in front of him and waited.
"Hey Matsu!" Misa chirped as she jumped over him. She didn't even pay him any other attention as she ran down the hall and to the other room. 'Did she even care that I was dead?' Matsuda thought, rather put out.
Light calmly stepped over him and said cooly "I can see the top of the whipped cream can sticking out of your bag." Then he left Matsuda alone in the hall.
'Damn it!' But before Matsuda could move, he heard more people come. Mogi and Aizawa stepped over him to. "Matsuda's being stupid again." He heard Aizawa say before they entered the next room.
Matsuda groaned. Was no one going to fall for it? 'Yes! Someone else is coming!' He could hear the slap of feet against tile as L came into view. Ignoring Matsuda compeletly, L bent over even more and picked up the whipped cream from Matsuda's bag. "I can use this." L mumbled before leaving.
"Damn it!" Matsuda cried.
'Okay, this is going to be hilarious! I'm sure to get a reaction from this!' He was lying on his side, on one of the tables in a room that you had to pass right after going through security. His head was propped up by his hand, while his other arm was on his hip. His legs were spread apart, too. In short, Matsuda was doing his best to appear 'seductive'. Well, he thought so.
Matsuda heard the doors open to reveal Mogi. Taking a deep breath, he fixed his face with a winning smile and said "Draw me like-"
"No." Mogi interrupted as he walked straight pass, not even looking at him.
Blinking, Matsuda quickly readied himself as he heard someone else come in. He blew a kiss at Aizawa and said "Draw me-"
"Matsuda's being stupid again." Aizawa said to himself, interrupting Matsuda.
Matsuda huffed and before the next person was fully through the door he yelled "Draw like one of your french girls!" he then blew a kiss...straight at his chief.
"Oops." Was all he said while Chief Yagami glared at him.
"Show some respect Matsuda!"
"Yes, sir." He mumbled sadly as he walked away from him.
'Okay, last person. I hope this works.' He fixed what he hoped was an alluring smile on his face and said calmly in what he thought was a deep, sexy voice. "Draw me like one of your french girls." He blew another kiss, then realised who he was doing that to.
'This isn't awkward at all.' Matsuda thought.
"Alright then." Watari said, before whipping out a pen and notepad. Apparently he was too alluring. Maybe next time he should go for 'enticing', instead.
"It was a joke!"
Watari frowned. "I was only doing what you asked."
Matsuda sighed. "Nevermind, just go inside."
After he did, the only thing Matsuda said was "Damn it!"
"Alright! This has to work!" Matsuda thought, half exasperated, as he switched L's trolley of lollies and cakes with another one. He had gone to the shops and had bought a big, pink box full of plastic treats. The cashier had looked at him very strangely. The trolley he had replaced was full of all the plastic ones, they looked incredably realistic.
'Heheh, the look on L's face will be priceless!' Matsuda giggled-like a manly man!- all the way back to the main room where the others were. 'L wont even know who did it!'
'Hmm,' L hummed to himself as he looked over past Kira victims. He reached over and grabbed one of his ever present cupcakes. 'Wait!' L thought. 'Somethings wrong. I can't...I can't smell anything. I can't smell my cakes!'
"Watari!" Everyone jumped at L's sudden out burst.
"What is it? Does it have something to do with Kira?" Light asked.
"Yes, Ryuzaki? Are you all right?"
"Smell this!" L said as he shoved the cake underneath Watari's nose.
He watched him carefully. "Do you smell anything?"
"Neither do I. And this cupcake, it's very hard. It doesn't feel like a cake at all." His voice was calculating."It's a fake."
"Ryuzaki? Are...are you okay?" Light asked, careful.
'Oh, this is bad! This is very, very bad!' Matsuda was freaking out. L looked very, very angry. Matsuda had never even seen him agitated!
"No one, absolutely no one messes with my food."
'Well, at least he doesn't know who did it.' Matsuda thought hopefully. He began to creep out of the room.
"Matsuda?" L asked, his voice dangerously low.
He stopped and turned slowly back towards him. "Yes, L?" he asked meekly.
L walked towards him, rage clear on his face.
"Uh, Matsuda?" Light asked.
"His kicks hurt. Run."
"I can do that." And he did.
AN: Heyo, my creatures! I hope you enjoyed that! I have a small idea of a chapter where Matsuda runs around zapping people with static electricity. Let me know if you like that.