My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

Shikamaru couldn't help but wonder what was actually happening. One minute he'd been sitting enjoying the peace and quiet (as quiet as it could get with Hidan in residence), the next he was surrounded by people. Not masses of people, but a pretty big number to just appear out of nowhere. It seemed he zoned out more than he thought whilst he was reading.

Kiba was wrestling with Naruto over something, Choji was eating, Ino and Sakura were bitching, Sasuke, Neji and Gaara were probably talking about something creepy, and Lee was attempting to convince Hinata that twice daily ten mile sprints were a good idea. It was pretty much the same as always.

Shikamaru was the only person sitting by himself. This bothered him as before all these people had appeared, Hidan had been sitting next to him and occasionally prodding him. They hadn't been as talkative as usual and the older boy had been less touchy feely also but that was more to do with the long awkward conversation yesterday. It was too soon after for everything to be as usual. But now he'd done one of his vanishing acts. Naruto and Kiba had finished whatever they were doing and now seemed to decide that they would bother Shikamaru in his boyfriend's place.

"Shika! Stop reading and have some fun with us." Kiba started patting him.

"Some people would argue reading is fun."

"Not while people are around." Naruto stole the book and flung it to the other side of the room. At least Hidan never did that. He was usually content to sit next to him. "Now go get yourself a beer."

"You didn't have to throw it."

"I will personally fetch you a beer so no more anti-social Shika." Kiba stopped patting him and went to find beer, leaving him alone with Naruto.

"Speaking of anti-social. Where's Hidan? I thought he was just here."

"He was. Probably avoiding everyone. Especially the girls." Ino alone he could handle but whenever more of them got together he tended to walk off.

"I can understand the girls… and Lee… but the rest of us are cool."

"Tell him that when you see him."

"You should get him. He's your boyfriend."

This is what I hate about relationships. When you were with someone you were expected to deal with everything.

"He'll show up when he's ready." Hidan wasn't that useless. If he needed help he would ask. Part of Shikamaru was tempted to join him in hiding but before he had a chance to leave, Kiba had returned to force a bottle of beer into his hands.

"Now get that down you and enjoy yourself."

"You have a serious problem if you think that alcohol is essential for fun." Both of the other boys gave him a look.

"He means you should have something to help you relax."

"Yeah, you're almost as uptight as the nut job."

"The nut job?"

"Your crazy boyfriend." It seemed Kiba still hadn't gotten over his public dressing down.

Shikamaru only got halfway through the bottle before the boredom was too much. He loved his friends, really he did, but they were loud and he was tired and headachy after all the recent stress.

"Bathroom," he announced, standing up. Perhaps he could get into his bedroom where he might be able to stay undisturbed if people didn't notice he'd left. He got two steps out the door before being grabbed and pulled to the side.

"What is it with you and this damn cupboard?" He didn't need to ask who it was.

"I like confined spaces, fuck you."

"Why are you in here though?" Probably because he's insane.

"I had a headache."

"I guess I can understand that." He was getting one himself. "Can we go upstairs then? It's kind of dusty and crowded in here."

"But this is comfy." Hidan moved a little closer and Shikamaru shuffled away.

"I prefer my bed." He pushed the door open and left. Glancing back he could see Hidan looking kind of hurt. It felt bad but he wasn't the warmest person. The other boy still followed him although he was emanating waves of anger. They were stopped in their tracks by a rather interesting sight on the stairs.

Sasuke had in a matter of seconds, managed to isolate Naruto from Kiba and dragged him away. In spite of only being on a dirty staircase that hadn't been hoovered in half a year, they were having a pretty good time. They were practically dry humping each other and it was pretty creepy to watch. This was especially as awkward when his own boyfriend was next to him and also feeling kind of horny.

"So is this a free show or do we have to pay?" Hidan was quite quick with this one. Naruto jumped back but Sasuke just looked irritated at being interrupted.

"Hi…" Understandably Naruto was embarrassed.

"Need something?"

"Use of the stairs would be good." Sasuke gave Shikamaru a pointed look and moved to the side, pulling Naruto onto his lap to clear the way.

They rushed past quickly and Shikamaru could hear them resuming their fun after they'd gone past. They could easily have gone to a room with a door but apparently the middle of the hallway, directly in front of the door was the best place to be. No one had any shame but him nowadays.

They both sat down on the bed in silence. The atmosphere was so heavy he could nearly feel it crushing him. Hidan was sitting on the opposite side of the bed and for a moment Shikamaru felt too awkward to even go and get a book.

"Hidan?" The boy looked over. "Could you… pass me that book over there?" This caused him to frown. The book was sent flying past his head, missing him only by millimetres.

I deserved that… I think? It wasn't hard for him to work out that he shouldn't run away from his boyfriend. But surely it was known that he was as emotional as a sponge.

"So… Is everything ok?" This was a start. A very stupid one with an obvious answer, but still.

"I guess…" Hidan looked to the side.

"You think I should use the water bottle on them?" It was tempting. This caused a slight smile.

"You'd need a hose to put those two off."

"Even that might not be enough." They'd probably enjoy it knowing those two.

"Yeah… lucky fuckers."

"Lucky?" Shikamaru stared at him.

"Err…" Hidan fumbled with his shirt.

"Is something wrong?" Idiot. Of course something's wrong.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?" This seemed like an odd question.

"Do you trust me?" Hidan was staring right at him now.

"I share a bed with you, let you live with me, spend more time with you than anyone else I know, and I'm dating you. Of course I trust you."

"You just don't want me touching you."

"No! Well, not you specifically. I'm just no good at these things." He didn't know if he had some kind of social anxiety or if he was only prudish but he'd been like this in previous relationships too.

"Could you try?"

"Maybe. I know you won't do anything I don't like at least." Despite his many flaws Hidan was good for that.

"No. I'm not gonna do anything."

"So what do you want?"

"For you to touch me."

"Oh. I see." Well this isn't awkward. "How so?"

"However you wanna do it, I don't care. Just do it." This was something he'd seemed to have thought out beforehand.

"I suppose." As he had very little experience in this field, other than a few fondles from his previous girlfriend, he didn't exactly know what to do with this. "Err…"

Hidan was sat watching and waiting. He'd thought the S&M conversation was awkward, but this was almost as bad. And he wasn't even naked this time. With an air of resignation he shifted down the bed until he was next to Hidan and gulped. Shikamaru then reached over and patted him on the arm. Well he hadn't specified what kind of contact he wanted.

"Is that it?"

"Did you want more?" Of course he wants more.

"Well yes." Hidan sighed. "If you don't want to then don't bother."

"Eh?" The older boy lay down on the bed, a look of disappointment on his face.

I am a terrible person.

"I'm sorry." There wasn't much he could think to say.

"Don't worry about it." He sounded pretty depressed.


"Just leave it. Go back and do whatever with your asshole friends."

But I want to stay with you. This for some reason was difficult to say so instead of bothering he picked up his book and continued reading. Even the awkward silence was better than the heckling.

"Why are you still here?" Hidan was scowling. "I don't need your pity."

"I'm not staying here for you, it's because I'd rather be up here than down there."

"…Really?" He seemed suspicious as if suspecting it to be a trick.

"I'd have left otherwise."

"But… I don't know, don't you feel kinda awkward?"

"Well yeah. But this is still better." At least here he got more respect. And didn't have to worry about being force fed beer or having his friends giving him a strip tease (Kiba was weird). Hidan clearly thought he was weird but shrugged and lay back down. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping dumbass, what else?"

"It's a little early isn't it?"

"Well there's fuck all else to do." This was a good point.

Although Shikamaru tried he just couldn't get into the book he was reading. The older boy's presence was more of a distraction than usual. It took a few moments to realise why.

I'm being slowly tainted it seems. Although reluctant, he put the book aside and went over to Hidan. He lay down next to him and put his arm around him. It was odd being the active one for change.

"What the hell is this?" Understandably he was confused.

"It's your fault."

"…Ok why?"

"You make me do things I never usually do." Being smaller, his face was in the back of Hidan's neck. It was oddly similar to what happened yesterday.

"You don't sound too down about it."

"I guess I'm not." It wasn't that unpleasant being close to someone. He was kind of getting used to it. And the other boy smelt a lot better than Temari who used to coat herself in some kind of weird smelling perfume. It had used to make him gag. Hidan didn't put anything on himself and as a result didn't fill him with an urge to vomit.

Hidan turned over so they were facing each other. At this distance they were looking directly into each other's eyes. It was kind of intense but still he didn't mind.

"You know…"

"Hmm?" Hidan did look a little embarrassed. This seemed to be happening more often lately.

"I was waiting for you in that damn cupboard for ages. What the hell took you so long?"

"You were waiting for me?"

"Well I know you hate this kind of things as much as I do. And I wanted to be alone with you…"

"We've been alone together all day."

"Not that kind of alone! You are a jackass." He sat up and tapped Shikamaru on the head.

"So by alone you mean…"

"This kind of thing. Physical contact, not just sitting there whilst you read a book."

"Oh. You could've just said. It would be less freaky than being dragged into the cupboard."

"…Yeah I guess. But you've been weird since that… thing yesterday." No more explanation was needed.

"Sorry… You know I'm a bit of a prude right?"

"A bit? That's the understatement of the fucking year."

"Fair enough…"

"Why'd you run away anyway?"

"I don't know. It was kind of stupid of me."

"You think? You're supposed to be smart, use your head."

"I don't wanna hear any of that from you."

"Just make sure you tell me when you have a problem. You scared me." He looked a little down.

"I'm sorry…"

"Be honest from now on you prick."

"I will. Just stop insulting me."

"Suck a dick." Hidan pondered this a minute. "Preferably mine."

"I'm good." After flicking Shikamaru on the forehead, Hidan pulled the smaller boy up and lay down on his lap. "What are you doing now?"

"Do your duty and be my pillow." Shikamaru sighed but allowed it. He even began stroking Hidan's hair. It sadly added to the dog imagery but his hair was pretty soft. "Why don't you do this shit more often?"

"I don't know…"

"This is great and all but I'm really tempted to chuck something at the bastards downstairs."


"Because they piss me off with all their touchy feely loving bullcrap. Who do they think they are?"

"Indeed. How dare they have a loving and stable relationship."


"Bastards," agreed Shikamaru.

"So, the bucket or your bottle thing?"

"Bucket. They need to learn."

The surprised scream and the look of rage from Sasuke kept them amused for the rest of the evening.