A/N: I had been thinking a long time ago at how funny it could be if Roger DeBris directed some of my favorite MST3K movie musicals. I decided to spoof my favorite MST3K episode, The Beatniks. If you've seen that, this will be hilarious; if you haven't, check it out! This is sentimental for me because it features the OCs from my very first story on this website - if you haven't read "Whatever Happened to Wade?" Wade is Roger's sister with the unfortunate name and Marc is her best friend.

[Setting: The Shubert...]

Wade DeBris and Marc London entered the theater. "Why do you think he called us here?" Wade asked.

"I don't know." Marc shrugged. "Ever since Streetcar ended, I'm sure he's been scrambling for ideas to form."

Roger DeBris, Carmen Ghia, Max Bialystock, and Leo and Ulla Bloom eventually spotted them. "Wade!" Roger called. "Marc!"

"Are you directing a new show?" She asked.

"Why, yes, one that Franz wrote himself!"

Franz Liebkind smiled proudly.

"What's it about?" She inquired.

"It's about a young hoodlum who has a great singing voice and is offered a chance to be a star, but his insane friends get in ze way!" He explained. "I call it Ze Beatniks!"

"Ze Beatniks?" Wade repeated. "But where are the beatniks?"

"I just told you!"

"So it's a show about beatniks with no actual beatniks in it." Marc summarized.

Franz yelled in anguish and looked to Roger and Carmen. "Zey don't get it!"

"Don't worry, Wade," Max smirked, "he'll get over it. Hopefully."

"Are you guys going to produce the show?" Wade asked before leaning over to kiss Max on the cheek. At the opening night of her theater debut, A Streetcar Named Murray, she had asked him out to dinner. He had accepted, and the rest, as they say, was history.

"Of course." He replied. "Who else would deal with them?"

"Oh, Max, please!" Carmen exclaimed.

"Now, the auditions are today," Roger informed Marc and Wade, "and we'd like you to try out. Wade, I can see you as a perfect Helen Tracy! And Marc, you'd make a fantastic Moon!"

"Moon." Marc nodded. "I like the sound of that."

"All right," Roger called, "let the auditions begin!"

Many long, painful hours went by of people who couldn't sing, dance, act, or do any of the above. However, one slick guy in a suit came up, and they could sense that he would be a nice change from the others.

"Now you've said your name is Tony Travis?" Roger asked him.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." He grinned charmingly. "I'm hear to audition for the role of Eddie Crane."

"What are you going to sing for us?"

"I'm going to sing 'Sideburns Don't Need Your Sympathy,' the first number in the show. Hit it." The music started. "Leather coat/duck bill hair/call me wild/I don't care/sideburns don't want your sympathy..."

By the end of the song, they were all in wonderment. "I think we've found our Eddie!" Roger exclaimed.

"Cool." Tony nodded, walking off the stage.

"He's cute." Wade murmured to Marc.

"Tell me about it." He replied.

"Oh, this is going to be such a great show!" Carmen squealed with delight.

"But are you sure that a show about beatniks with no beatniks will succeed?" Leo inquired.

"What could possibly go wrong?" Roger shrugged.