Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. If I did I'd change the title to My Pretty Little Paily Babies and it would be all Paily, all the time, with special appearances by the other girls. And one episode would just be Paige lying on the bed, Emily's feet propped up on her back, a la Single Fright Female and I'd have a million cameras on Lindsey so we can catch all her facial acting and one close up camera on Emily, so we can see her 'just for Paige' smile and I'm going to stop now...

Batman Can Do All


"...and he does this thing with his tongue that I just..." Spencer trails off, sighing to herself, a dreamy expression on her face.

And it makes Paige sick. It's one thing to sit quietly and listen to the girls talk about shoes and dresses for an hour. It's an entirely different thing to listen to them moan and groan, practically coming undone right in front of her eyes, about their dreamy boyfriends and their dreamy kisses. Where does she draw line?

"...and his hands, oh god his hands. They're so big and..."

Here. She has to draw the line here. She was trying to be a good girlfriend. Nodding along when the girls were planning this little outing, even though her mind screamed 'Run Paige, run far away.' She offered to be the designated driver, even though she knew the only way she'd be able to get through the night was if she was plastered beyond belief. She even ignored her very telling, almost always right sixth sense, telling her this place was far from an ideal place for a group of teenage girls and their significant others, to be.

But this was too much. Too far. She wouldn't survive. And maybe she was being dramatic, but she didn't want to die in some dingy, run down bar in the middle of nowhere. And not by something as...average and stupid as boredom and complete disgust. But here she was, eyes drooping and stomach queasy. There is no way in hell she would be able to take another hour of this. She had to say something.

She looks at Emily, who is sitting on the chair next to her, her arm draped around the back of Paige's chair, fingers fiddling with the ends of Paige's ponytail. She is laughing about something Paige is blocking out at the moment. And she looks so happy and content and Paige really doesn't want to ruin that. Maybe she could wait a little longer.

"...so Caleb pulls up his pants and runs into the closet..."

Maybe not. "Oh god, I really can't do this," she whispers to herself.

"What was that Paige?" She didn't know Emily was even paying attention to her, maybe she wasn't. Emily just has this way of knowing...everything when it came to her.

She shakes her head. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?" Emily's voice is concerned and interested.

Paige nods, pushing the hair out of Emily's eyes and kissing her cheek.

"Great, so can I get back to my story?" Hanna asks, looking very much annoyed at being interrupted.

Paige turns fully back to the table and can see 'the three amigos,' as she dubbed them, staring at her and Emily. Paige chuckles, "sorry Hanna. Please continue."

Hanna continues frowning at them for a moment, before quickly replacing the frown with a wide toothy, very Hanna like smile. "Okay, so my mom is asking me what I want for dinner, completely obliterated to the half-naked Caleb in my closet."

"Oblivious." Spencer corrects her.

"What is that a new drink?" Hanna ask her.

"No, it's not obliterated, it's oblivious. Your mom was completely oblivious to the half-naked Caleb in your closet."

"Whatever. The point of the matter is Caleb was-"

"Half-naked in your closet." Paige finishes for her. "We know." Yeah, she couldn't do this anymore.

Aria arches an eyebrow at her, "someone's a little irritated."

Paige shakes her head, "what, no I'm not. I'm fine."

"Are you sure Paige?" Emily ask, her eyes wide and questioning. "You've been quiet all night and you do sound a little annoyed."

Paige sighs, looking off into the distance. She sees fully clothed Caleb and Toby playing pool in the back and she wants nothing more than to join them. "I'm sorry, I just..." she trails off, not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

"What is it?" Emily ask.

"Look, I'm really sorry," she starts, looking at Emily, then her friends, turning back to Emily. "And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but...you and your friends are really boring," she finishes looking down.

"Paige L. McCullers, don't you dare look away."

Paige's face automatically shoots up to look at Emily, who in turn, points to Hanna.

"Yes, me, not Emily." Hanna huffs.

"Oh, I'm sorry. What is it- wait, my middle name doesn't start with an L."

Hanna shrugs, "well I don't know what it really starts with, so I just took a guess."

"Why?"

Hanna looks at her like she grew a second head. "Duh, everyone knows people take you more seriously when you say the whole name." She waves her off. "But that's completely not the point." Hanna stops, looking every bit the sad puppy. "Are you including me in this 'boring' nonsense." She asks, air quoting boring.

Paige ducks her head down again, "well I..."

"You didn't think I was boring last weekend."

Paige looks up at that. If she didn't know any better she'd call Hanna's tone a big suggestive, which confuses her.

"What exactly happened last weekend?" Emily looks back and forth between her and Hanna. Apparently Paige wasn't the only one confused.

Paige laughs, shaking her head. "Nothing, we just went...well we got kicked out of the movie theater."

"When?" Emily.

"Why?" Spencer.

"Last Saturday, when you and Spencer were studying." She answers Emily first, then turns to Spencer. "Hanna kept yelling at the screen to 'slow down.'" Paige can't help but smirk at the memory.

Hanna blows out a loud, obviously irritated breath. "I didn't have enough time to read the subtitles.

"Subtitles?" Aria ask.

"Paige took me to some stupid film where the people don't know how to talk."

"The people could talk just fine, it was just in a different language. It was a foreign film, what exactly did you expect Hanna. And it's not stupid, it's amazing and underrated." Paige huffs. Someone didn't know how to appreciate the finer things in life.

Hanna rolls her eyes, "I don't care what it's rated. It was boring and the subtitles were too fast."

Spencer laughs, "how exactly did you manage to get Hanna to even agree to see a foreign film?"

"You're missing the point here people." Hanna glances between them on the table, her arms up in disbelief. Everyone just looks at her, waiting. "You know," she gestures to Spencer and Aria, "how Paige thinks you two are boring."

Spencer's hand shoots up at that, "hey, I am not boring."

Hanna's laugh is loud and a few of the other patrons turn to look at her, making Paige very aware of the fact that they are still in a bar. "Please. All you two talk about is Science and global warming. Stupid, boring stuff like that."

"We have open, honest discussions about current events and...you don't thinks it's boring, do you Paige?"

Paige isn't sure she's ever seen Spencer pout, but there she is...pouting. "I..."

Emily saves her, jumping in. "Guys, I think Paige was trying to say-"

"Wait, does that mean I'm the boring one?" Aria looks at Paige wide-eyed. "You said you liked painting with me."

And now both Spencer and Aria are pouting at her. God, she just wanted to hang out with the guys. "I do, I just..."

Emily stands up suddenly, cutting her off. "Guys, will you all just shut-up." She sits down quickly when she sees everyone in the bar looking at her.

"Ugh, just tell us who your favorite is Paige." Hanna demands, pointing a finger at herself, smirking. Emily stares at her. "What?"

Emily ignores her, turning to Paige. "Paige, what were you trying to say before my friends..." she stops to shoot a dirty look at them, "so rudely interrupted you?"

"What could be worst than boring?" Spencer ask Emily.

"Pfft, I'm not." Hanna interjects.

Emily waves them off, still looking intently at Paige, motioning for her to continue.

"I just...I'm glad we're all close now. And separately, when we're getting kicked of movies," she looks at Hanna. "Or talking politics," she turns to Spencer. "Or trying to remember which two colors make purple," she smiles at Aria. "I have fun, a lot of fun actually. And I realize I'm a girl and I should enjoy all this... girly conversation you guys like to have, but I..." she trails off, thinking of the right way to end the sentence. She looks at Toby and Caleb still playing pool, laughing. How could she hang out with the guys without offending any of the girls. Screw it, "can I please play pool with the boyfriends," she whines, she pushes her bottom lip out for good measure.

Emily grins, "of course-"

"No."

"Hanna!" Emily scolds.

"She doesn't even get along with them," Aria says.

"Actually," Paige turns to her. "Caleb and I play computer games on our free period. Mr-I mean Ezra has been helping me with my college essays, and who do you think taught Toby that tongue thing?"

"How do I get a free period?" Hanna.

"And he said he couldn't help me with my essays because he was busy." Aria.

"How exactly did you teach Toby that tongue thing?" Spencer.

"Ignore them Paige," Emily rubs her shoulder, "you can play pool with the boys," she says grinning widely at her.

Paige gives her a quick thank you peck, before quickly standing up, ignoring the quiet grumbling from the other girls. Emily didn't have to tell her twice. But before she can take a step, Emily is up and tugging at her arm, pulling Paige closer to her.

"How exactly did you teach Toby that tongue thing?" Emily whispers in her ear.

Paige chuckles, "I drew pictures."

"Wait?" Hanna stands up, walking over to them.

"Hanna leave her alone." Emily warns.

Hanna steps in between them, ignoring Emily's scowl. "How do you manage to do all this stuff with us, not to mention whatever it is you and Em do for hours when she doesn't answer my text.."

Emily blushes, "Hanna stop."

"I just want to know how none of us knew about it. What are you, one of those secret teenager agent things?" Hanna asks her, her voice completely serious.

Paige smiles. "I'm Batman."

Emily burst into laughter at that. "You're such a dork."

"You love it," Paige says.

"I love you," Emily corrects her.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Hanna says walking away.


"Hand it over," Caleb says, smirking, his hand outstretched.

"Whatever, it's worth it," Paige says, pulling a twenty out of her pocket, knowing full well he was talking about the bet they made earlier on how long she would last. "I couldn't take another second listening to them talk about clothes and...you guys," she gestures to them.

"You lasted longer than we would have," Toby says, racking up the balls.

"I play winner," Paige says. She's been itching to do anything but what she's been doing for the last half hour.

"Wait...they talk about us?" Caleb asks.

Paige shakes her head, "forget it."

"Aww, come on Paige."

Toby looks up at them, "we could always force it out of you," he smirks.

"Please, anything you guys do to me, would be a piece of cake to what they can do to me," she says. "Besides, I'd just tell Emily. And you know how she get's when she's angry.," Paige finishes, looking at them.

Caleb nods. "Right."

Toby shakes his head. "Definitely not worth it."

"Exactly. Now will one of you pansies win, so you can lose to me."

Day 2 of Paily week. I didn't really know what Paily+friendships meant so I just included all of them lol. Except Ezra for reasons, mostly I forgot, I'm sorry. I hope you enjoyed it anyways. This is basically my sort of version of what I want on the show, which is basically Paige fully integrated into the group.