This is a BLEACH one-shot story from the steamy recesses of my mind. Don't ask.

As per the usual: AHEM. I don't own BLEACH or any of the characters. I just like to write about them unofficially.

And don't read if you don't like lemons.


He was hot, and tired and the sweat he'd worked up out on three straight days of patrol had left him grumpy and with dried sweat stains on his uniform. And Kenpachi hated not being clean.

It was well known throughout the Gotei 13 that the warrior bathed a lot. But that's because he worked, and fought, hard.

One eye was covered by his usual eye-patch. For the other, he had no excuse. He just didn't see the sign posted on the door.

The captain of Division 11 knew the way to the men's bathhouse by heart. And though twilight was falling, it wasn't truly dark. He pushed his way through the doors and into the main bathing room. He could hear the bubbles from the naturally heated springs, and the play of water on stone.

And the gasps of shock.

"What the hell?"

Captain Zaraki looked up then, and who was more stunned he couldn't really say.

Blue eyes, hazel eyes, green eyes and dangerously narrowed dark eyes. All staring at him.

And every one of them belonging to a female.

Recognition burst through him. Rangiku, Rukia, Sui-Feng, Hinamori, Nanao, and several others, even Captain Unohana was watching him coolly. Some were blushing brighter than a red apple. Some glared murderously. And all were staring at him as if he were some sort of demon suddenly in their midst.

"This isn't the women's bath house." He grumbled, feeling out-of-sorts and embarrassed and then embarrassed that he was even embarrassed in the first place. His tone hardened. "I know it isn't."

Rangiku laughed flirtatiously. "It wasn't. It is today."

Captain Sui-Feng met him glare for glare. "The men's bath house has been relocated while they affect repairs on the women's bath house."

Momo Hinamori couldn't meet his gaze as she sunk down in the water to nearly her eyes.

Rangiku posed prettily, her breasts playing peek-a-boo with the water line. "There was a sign out front."

Captain Zaraki groaned and rolled his head.

"Get out." Sui-Feng demanded.

Irritated and tired, this pushed the wrong button. "You get out. No one asked me and this is where I take a bath."

Shocked gasps again.

Captain Zaraki tore off a strip of his already ripped up sleeve. He tied it around his one visible eye. "Get out or stay. Don't care. I need a bath." His tone was resolute as stone. "I get undressed in five minutes."

"You wouldn't dare." Came a hissed response from somewhere over ...oh, that must have been Rukia.

Kenpachi's hands went to his robe and suddenly there were splashing sounds as females vacated HIS bath house. And it was his, as far as he was concerned. Technicalities be damned.

A feral grin spread over his face as he heard several women leave the area. One or two even hit him on their way out. He was unmoved. But he did wonder who was brave enough. Sui-Feng for one. Hmm. Probably Captain Unohana for the other, since they both equaled him in rank. Whatever. He was too tired to care.

Four minutes later he grunted and put his hand on the tie of his robe. He couldn't see, but he could tell someone was still in the bath house. Just one. Kenpachi snarled. "Want a show?" He teased roughly.

The sound of someone moving through the water. He nodded. Yeah, she was leaving now too. Good.

Slow steps up the stones to stand right in front of him. His nose twitched, but couldn't place the scent, not with the minerals from the naturally heated springs heavy in the air.

"You have one minute left. And it's counting down." He said hoarsely. "Then I'm getting undressed, whether you're gone or not."

A touch to his belt. Aw, she was going to hit him too. Kenpachi started to sneer, then felt his face freeze as delicate fingers untied the fasteners.

His hands rose toward his blindfold. A gentle touch to his hands stilled him. "No." One word, whispered. He couldn't place the voice, not with her whispering only one word.

"Who ..." A finger to his lips had him falling silent. He grunted, but couldn't bring himself to push this mystery woman away. His mind raced with the names of each woman who'd been in the bath. "Not Sui-Feng." He commented dryly.

Fingers resumed untying the fasteners to his robes, and he felt them fall open. Those same hands rose and slid underneath the soiled fabric and pushed it from his shoulders. He could sense that she had to lean in and rise up on her toes.

That didn't tell him a thing. All the women who'd been there had been shorter than he anyway.

His robes slipped down his arms and caught on his elbows, he started to reach for the sleeves ...but her hands stopped him again. Kenpachi didn't know why he was going along with this, except he had now gone from incredibly tired to incredibly turned on.

Smooth hands freed his left elbow, her touch running down the length of his forearms to his hand. And then a repeat on the right side. His robes hit the stone floor.

A pause. Nothing.

Kenpachi frowned. "You aren't going to stop there, are you?"


The warrior's frown intensified even as anticipation rose alarmingly. Again with the whispered one word response. No way to hear an accent like that.

Fingers found his belt and he caught his breath eagerly, but instead of loosening it, he felt her ...kneel?

Oh. He chuckled as he felt her tap his left knee. Obediently he lifted his foot and she undid his footwear, removing it. Again, she repeated the motions on the other side.

"While you're down there ..." He hinted lasciviously.

She slapped his knee hard enough to actually sting.

Kenpachi growled and let some of his spiritual pressure rise. A warning.

Hers rose accordingly.

Kenpachi stilled, thoughtful. Sure, it wasn't a high amount of spiritual pressure, but she'd matched him easily. "No one less than a lieutenant." He guessed, mentally crossing off several names.

His uniform pants, now no longer belted, slid dangerously low on his hips. He waited, and was not disappointed as those gentle fingers slid them down even further, letting them pool at his feet.

Kenpachi waited, not breathing. He knew what his mystery woman was seeing. Him. Hard, long, and eager. Just how adventurous did she feel?

Warm breath. His fingers trembled once, then stilled as he groaned. Her lips met the head of his erection and if he thought he'd been hard before, he was turning to concrete now. Kenpachi arched his neck sharply as she slipped the first few inches into her mouth.

"Damn." He breathed, the curse word now suddenly a supplication.

Kenpachi choked as he felt her tongue glide over him slowly, as if appreciating the essence of him. His hands seemed to act of their own accord as the palms found the top of her head.

Hair. Pinned up. A lot of it. Kenpachi tried to think as his world spun around him. Her tongue circled the head of his erection and then she began to suck slightly. His fingers tightened, the suction increased.

His hips twitched as he tried not to thrust into her mouth rudely. Her hands went to the bare sides of his hips to caress the skin there.

"Not Hinamori. She's not brave enough. Not Rukia, the hair isn't short enough."

Kenpachi's mouth and mind stilled as she pressed her teeth into his hardened member sharp enough to make him hiss out a breath.

He took the hint and stopped talking.

The teeth moved back and the suction built up again.

Kenpachi took it as long as he could, standing still, but eventually his hips began seeking out a certain rhythm without his consent. He pushed deeper into her mouth, and nearly cried out loud as she swallowed hard, taking him wholly. Deep in her throat. Hot, tight ...perfect.

"Damn." He whispered again, pressing her face against his groin, his fingers spasming as pleasure rode lightning fast throughout his veins.

His hands tugged on her, trying to lift her up. He wanted to take her. Bury himself so deeply within her body that the world would explode around them.

She bit him again and he almost howled, letting up as she continued to pleasure him.

But in the end, there was only so much a man even as strong as he could take. His body tightened painfully as it readied itself, his toes curling and his hands clenching in her hair.

As if sensing the oncoming storm, she took him deep once more and pressed upwards with her tongue.

Kenpachi literally shook with the force of his orgasm. And in delight, he felt her swallow again and again, taking everything his body had to offer.

It was almost painful for him, so sensitized was his flesh, when she slid him free of her mouth. Even the heated air of the hot springs wasn't enough as he felt chilled after what he'd just experienced.

Swallowing hard, Kenpachi waited. But he wasn't a patient man. Two heartbeats later, he groaned. "Why?"

No response. He was about to reach forward, when the whispered answer finally came. "I've always wondered."

"Not Nanao." Kenpachi suddenly announced.


"No glasses."

"You don't wear glasses in a bath house." Came the still whispered, but amused reply.

"Who?" He growled, his hands rising toward his blindfold again.

"Touch that and it will never happen again."

The whispered threat actually managed to stop him. He needed to know. Hell, he burned to know. But ...he definitely wanted it to happen again. "Will it happen again?" He asked, his mouth dry.


"Not Unohana." Kenachi heard the woman dressing. Hell. She was leaving!


"I'm not her type." The warrior sneered. "Not buttoned up enough."

"That leaves Rangiku." The woman sounded amused.

Kenpachi frowned. Was it that easy? No. He shook his head. "Not Rangiku."


He didn't know. "Instinct." He muttered. "And I don't want it to be."

"Good." She whispered, and was out the door.

Kenpachi's hand rose to the blindfold and ripped it off. He looked around desperately, but could find no hint or clue as to who his mystery woman had been. "DAMN IT!" He shouted.

He briefly considered going after her, but thought if he did she might carry through on the promise to cut him off. And he'd give just about anything for a repeat of tonight.


Clean. Kenpachi paced his office. His body felt great. Relaxed. Happy. His mind, on the other hand, was racing.


Yachiru looked up, puzzled. "Who what, Ken-chan?"

The warrior turned away. This wasn't a discussion for his pink-haired lieutenant. Not that she was naive or stupid. But ...this wasn't something he was willing to share with someone so young.

He could talk to Ikkaku, he supposed. But ...he didn't want to do that either. What had happened earlier tonight had been like out of a dream. Just her. Just him.

He didn't want to share. He wanted to hoard the memory for himself alone.

As if thinking about the man had summoned him, Ikkaku walked into the office and casually tossed a package marked 'fragile' at him. "This came for you."

Kenpachi was about to toss it on his desk, when he realized it had a return address. The bath house. "Go away." He muttered.

Ikkaku nodded and turned to leave, while Yachiru looked up at him innocently. He looked at his young lieutenant and realized he'd never lied to her. Not once. Not even if it meant having to explain some very uncomfortable things.

She blinked.

Kenpachi shrugged. "From a friend."

Yachiru wrinkled her nose. "Woman?"

He jerked one shoulder up in assent.

The lieutenant nodded and got up to leave. "Do I like her?"

Ah hell. How to answer that? "I hope so." He murmured, his fingers tightening on the package.

Looking suprised at his answer, Yachiru nodded and left him alone.

Kenpachi weighed the package in his hand. Not tiny, but not large. It was marked as fragile. He barely refrained from ripping the paper to shreds. Frowning as he pulled out an ornate hand mirror. Bone backing and handle. Carved by a master.

"A fucking mirror?" He turned it over and over in his hand, unsure. He tossed the paper onto his desk, then stilled as a small card slipped free, fluttering end-over-end to the floor.

He stared at it and then quickly snapped it up, reading it with a stark frown.

"You want to know my type?" He read the words in stunned disbelief.

A strange sound escaped him, sounding suspiciously like a laugh. He turned the mirror over and stared his own reflection.

"Damn." He whispered. "Damn. Damn. Damn."

His reflection was grinning at him in the mirror.

Kenpachi's fist closed around the hilt of the ornate gift and he threw open his door.

Captain Retsu Unohana stared at him, dark-gray eyes smiling.

"Funny." He growled, holding up the mirror.

She raised one eyebrow questioningly. "Buttoned up?"

"Aw hell." He groaned, rolling his one visible eye. "You're going to hold that against me, aren't you?"

The healer smiled and walked into his office, looking at him over her shoulder. "It helps that you were glad it wasn't Rangiku."

Kenpachi closed his door, being careful to lock it.

She eyed him with a small smile. "Don't want anyone getting in?" She teased.

The warrior shook his head, his body reacting to her nearness, and the memory of her mouth. "Don't want you getting out." He answered honestly.

"So I take it you want a repeat." She tilted her head to the side, giving him a lingering look.

Kenpachi deliberately shook his head.

Retsu stilled and gave him an odd look, one bordering on hurt.

He grinned. "I want more than just a repeat." He growled hoarsely. "Much more."

The woman smiled and leaned against his desk. "Well? I'm waiting."


Yeah. Well, I hope you enjoyed!