Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing around with them.

EPOV

My life was weird.

So weird that I didn't even recognize it anymore.

I liked having a plan, and I had planned my life out when I was teenager. I'd listened to everything Mom and Dad talked about before she'd opened her business, including all the little things behind the scenes that no one realized were needed to keep a business in the black. I'd wanted to help with that somehow and in high school, I'd learned my place.

Math was my favorite subject, and I was good at it. I was taking college math classes in high school just to have a challenge. When Mom had seen the talent, she'd asked me to look at some figures for her. And I'd excelled at it all. She'd then told me there was a place for me in the business if I wanted it, as long as I went to college and got the necessary degree.

So that was the plan. High school, college, take my place at Cullen Family Designs.

For the most part, I stuck to the plan and nothing else. I graduated high school a semester early and pushed myself at Princeton until I had my masters of finance degree. Two years ago, I'd come home and took my spot as CFO.

I hadn't really deviated too much. A frat party here and there in college, a quick date every few months maybe. But that was it. I did what was needed to accomplish my goals.

I hadn't planned beyond that, and maybe that was my problem. Maybe that was why I suddenly didn't recognize my life.

I had been coasting for two years and there hadn't been any plans for a girlfriend or marriage or kids or anything like that.

But now I had a best friend — who happened to be a girl — but she was also more than a best friend too. And I had a kid around me a majority of the time.

I hadn't planned for them, but it was okay. I was learning maybe some unplanned things were okay. And with that realization, it was like my life was completely different. Or maybe it wasn't anything that crazy, but I felt different anyway.

And I was starting to like who I was now. With Bella. Because of Bella.

Emmett would probably call me a pussy, but I didn't give a fuck about that. I was happy, and I couldn't remember the last time I felt that way.

Bella was happy too, if her face right now was any indication.

"What is this place?" she asked in awe as we walked toward the large building.

I squeezed her hand that was linked with mine and laughed softly. "It's our library. Was the one you went to before different?"

"Uh huh." Her mouth opened wide as we made it through the front door. "Wow." It was like she didn't know where to look first, so I just gave her a minute to try to take it all in.

Mom had been planning to bring Bella here a few days ago, but we'd all been busy with work and then yesterday with their girls day while Em, Jasper, and I took the kids to Sky Zone. Today was free though, besides dinner tonight, so I'd asked Mom to watch Lucy so I could bring Bella instead.

"Edward, I don't-I don't know what to look at first. This is . . . whoa. This place is huge!"

There was a much bigger library closer to our office building, but it was probably good we'd come here instead. She was overwhelmed enough by this — a good kind of overwhelmed, but I didn't want to shock her too much.

"Mom emailed me a list of books you might want to try, but we can walk around first if you want."

She didn't say anything, instead just nodding. She started walking toward an aisle of books, dragging me behind her. I would've followed anyway. Watching her face now was just as entertaining as when she watched movies.

I could've punch Emmett for scaring her the other night with The Sixth Sense, but I couldn't deny that I liked having Bella sitting in my lap for that hour and a half. I'd settled for kicking Em's ass at trampoline basketball yesterday and thankfully Bella hadn't mentioned being scared again.

Bella wasn't saying much of anything now as we went down nearly every aisle of books, but I knew she was enjoying herself. She'd grip my hand tighter to get my attention every so often as she showed me a particular book that caught her eye. Not that she needed to do anything to have my attention. Right now, she was the only thing I saw.

I was like that guy in Lucy's favorite movie. I'd been living in a blur for a long time, but now that I had Bella, everything seemed a little different. Even though I'd tried to resist at first, I knew I was where I was meant to be now — right beside her. I didn't see a light or some crazy bulllshit like that, but my world did look clearer.

We slowly made our way around the library, finally ending in the children's section. Mom had told me the books she'd written down would be found here and to not let Bella be discouraged by that. But if anything, Bella seemed to like this section even more with all its colorful books and easy to read titles.

Suddenly, Bella stopped walking and turned to throw her arms around my waist.

"Everything good?" I asked as I put my arms around her in return. Not that I questioned a hug from her anymore, but I had to make sure she was okay.

"Edward, this is amazing!" She stepped back slightly and had a wide smile on her face. "Thank you for bringing me here. I can really take some home to read?"

"Sure. We can take up to fifteen books with my library card and you can keep them for three weeks." If borrowing books made her this happy, I wanted to get her her own library card as soon as possible. Unfortunately, that'd have to be after we dealt with a lot of legal stuff she wasn't ready for yet, but for now, my card would work. I had one even though I didn't read much and now I was grateful I did.

"You want to find the ones on Mom's list?"

She nodded, so we started our search. Most weren't that hard to find, and I recognize a few that I had read in elementary and middle school so I told Bella about them.

Once Bella narrowed her choices down to six, we went to the counter to check them out.

"Is it weird that I only got books from the children's section?" she asked as we walked toward the car. "They just looked better and I think I can understand them."

"It's not weird," I promised, helping her hold the books while she got into her seat. "One day, you'll be reading any of those books you want. These are probably more entertaining though."

Bella was smart, smarter than she thought she was. Still, books about secret gardens, magical nannies, and girls going to wonderland sounded more enjoyable for her than Churchill biographies or books on astrophysics.

Before I moved from the parking spot to drive home, I turned to look at Bella. "Want to get a snack before we head home?" We'd spent two hours looking at books and dinner wasn't for another three hours. I didn't think I could last that long without eating something. And I wasn't ready to share her yet.

She looked up from her books and nodded. "That sounds good. Whatever you want is fine with me."

With her permission, I drove to the nearest McDonald's and went through the drive-thru. Bella laughed as I ordered a full meal for myself while she only wanted some ice cream.

Since the weather was nice besides a little wind, I drove to a park close to the house, and Bella and I walked to one of the picnic tables.

We ate mostly in silence, Bella cuddled close to me to escape the wind. I kept my arm around her, not minding eating with one hand.

"So . . . is this a date?"

Bella's question surprised me. I scooted back a little so I could see her face, and she was grinning as she bit her lip, obviously teasing.

I rolled my eyes, chuckling as I nodded. I was a little quicker this time than our first date. "I think it could be if you want it to be. Our second date?"

"Can libraries and McDonald's in the park count as a date?" she asked. "I don't think I ever saw that on TV or movies."

I shrugged. "I think dates can be anything you want them to be. When we were kids, Mom and Dad would say they were going on a date and they just went to the grocery store. We can do whatever we want on our dates."

It wasn't like I had tons of real dating experience. I realized now I'd been too focused on my job the past couple of years to think of anything else. And before that, I'd been too focused on my plan. Usually, my dating strategy never went beyond finding a hot girl to spend a couple hours with. I was ashamed of that now, but I couldn't change it. But I wouldn't be making those same choices again. I had Bella and she deserved so much more.

"Do you want . . . can we," she looked down, hiding her face. "Can we . . . kiss on this date?" she whispered.

My heart felt like it stopped and then started back at ten times the normal speed. Of course I wanted to kiss her. I had for a while if I was being honest with myself. But I worried about what was too fast for her. I'd only known Bella for three months but she was so important to me. I couldn't let anything hurt her, including myself.

But she was asking for this and looked so scared about what I was going to say so I had to do something.

Gently, I reached over and tilted her chin up. Her eyes stayed closed as I leaned forward, placing a kiss just on the corner of her lips.

Oh!" she gasped as her eyes flew open.

"Okay?" I asked softly because I needed to be sure. I'd give her anything she wanted, but there was no way I would take advantage of her. I wasn't that asshole Jake.

Bella nodded, scooting a little closer, so I kept my eyes on hers as I leaned forward again, this time placing my lips right against hers. My eyes closed as the feeling of finally kissing Bella and the sound of the soft little hum she made went right to my dick and made my heartburn return with a vengeance. Except now I knew it wasn't stomach acid. This was everything I felt for this beautiful girl in front of me.

I kept the pressure of the kiss soft and everything innocent as our lips moved together. Too soon it was over and I sat back, opening my eyes to see that hers had been closed too. Now, a smile grew on her face as she opened her eyes.

"Wow."

"Another good wow?"

She giggled and nodded, throwing her arms around my neck. "Again."

Well who was I to turn her down?

So I kissed her again. And then she kissed me. Short little kisses without any tongue or anything like that, but they were the best kisses I'd ever had. I'd never really cared much for kissing before because what was the point besides a lead up to sex. But now, I understood.

I could've kissed her all day, but we weren't alone in the park, and PDA wasn't my thing. I finally tucked her back under my arm, holding her close instead which she didn't seem to have a problem with. She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed tightly.

"I really like kissing you," she confessed like it was a secret.

"I could tell," I teased but then was serious. "I liked it too. We can definitely do that again. But maybe let's hold off on more than that for now, okay?"

I didn't want her to think I was rejecting her now or in the future, but we definitely needed to go slow. I probably needed to talk to Dad too before we did anything else. Not that I wanted my parent that involved with my private life, but I couldn't screw this up. I'd do whatever I had to to prevent it.

"This is enough right now," she promised me. "I like going slow. I don't know what I'm doing."

"I don't either. We're figuring it out together, remember? As long as we're both okay with this, that's all that matters."

She agreed and we went back to sitting quietly as I made her help me finish the rest of my now cold fries. After I cleaned up my mess, we got up and walked around the park until about an hour before dinner.

Part of me hated going back home and ending the private time we'd had together, but it wasn't so bad since I knew I'd get Bella back to myself tonight after everyone left.

When we made it back home, I stopped Bella before she could walk in the door and hugged her close, placing another soft kiss on her lips. I might've been addicted now.

"Mom will probably steal you as soon as you walk in the door, so I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"We sit beside each other at the table." She laughed but didn't pull away. "But I know what you mean. Can you take my books to my room for me, please? I think I'll start reading one tonight."

"You mean you don't want to watch basketball tonight?" I faked surprise which made her laugh again.

"No thank you. You can tell me what happens."

Before I could kiss her again, the door opened and Mom was there, ending this date just like our first one. This was a trend I was hoping would deviate.

"Oh, there you two are! I see you had some success at the library. Come tell me about it while I finish up dinner. Everyone will be here in about thirty minutes."

Bella followed Mom, telling her all about the books she saw, and I snuck off toward the stairs. As always when I was trying to sneak, a certain little person stopped me.

"Eddard! Hey! Where go?"

I shushed her but picked her up like she was requesting with her raised arms. "Hey, Lucy. I'm escaping so let's be quiet."

"Okay quiet," she said like she was trying to whisper but she wasn't any good at it.

I carried her to Bella's room first to drop off the books then went to my room. I sat Lucy down on the couch so I could take my shoes off and go take a leak. She was waiting right where I'd left her when I came out of the bathroom so I went and sat beside her.

"TV, Eddard?" she asked.

It wasn't like I really wanted to go back downstairs until the food was ready so I turned the TV on and found one of the shows Lucy liked. Thankfully it wasn't a show that required participation so she crawled into my lap and watched quietly.

Right when the show was over, there was a knock at the door I recognized as Bella so I stood with Lucy and went to open it.

"It's almost time to eat," Bella said as she took Lucy from me. "Everyone's already here."

I followed her down the hall, stopping her right before the stairs to give her another kiss. Now that we'd started, I was having a hard time stopping. But we had an audience now who of course noticed, and Lucy demanded I kiss her too. Rolling my eyes, I placed a kiss on her cheek which had her giggling until we sat at the table with everyone.

The table was already set with everything so as soon as everyone was sitting, we passed the dishes around to fix our plates. Mom had made some sort of chicken dish with rice and some vegetables. It was good so no one really said anything as we ate. I was almost finished with my plate when someone dropped a fork. I looked up and saw Alice smiling like a crazy person.

"Okay, I can't wait anymore. Jasper and I have news." She grabbed Jasper's hand in hers and he nodded at her. "I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby."

Suddenly, there were squeals all around me and everyone was jumping up, myself included. Almost immediately Mom was at Alice's side, holding her close. Dad was soon there too, and Alice got passed to him and then Rose, Emmett, and Bella.

I went over and pulled Jasper into our traditional handshake back slap thing. "Congrats, man. Ready for a baby?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Not even close, but we'll figure it out."

"Of course you will," Mom said as she hugged him. "You two have all us of and we'll help you however we can. Oh another grandbaby! I'm so excited."

Alice was finally free so I went over and pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations, Allie. You'll be a great mom."

"You really think so?" she asked as she squeezed me tightly.

"Of course. If anyone has enough energy to keep up with a kid, it's you. This baby is lucky to have you. And hey, I'm maybe not so bad at the uncle thing." Seth was running by me so I held my hand in a fist where he could reach. He saw it and bumped it with his as he passed. "See? I taught him that. I can teach your kid, too."

She laughed but had a strange look on her face as we separated. I didn't have time to analyze it before Mom was hugging her again.

Soon, everything calmed down and we all sat again and went back to the food but the talking didn't stop. Not that I expected it to. Now it was louder than usual though with everyone excited about the baby.

I'd meant what I'd told Alice. I possibly wasn't so bad at being an uncle. Seth and Brady didn't terrify me anymore at least. They were a lot sturdier than they looked. And Lucy definitely liked hanging around me so apparently I was doing something right.

While everyone talked, I finished my plate and got seconds but as I started eating again, things got a little quieter. I looked up and around the table and Alice's face was all scrunched up as she looked at me. Her eyes looked wet too.

My eyes widened as soon as I noticed. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" I asked her.

She shook her head and suddenly started crying loudly. I definitely wasn't expecting that, but judging by the other surprised looks around the table, no one else seemed to be either so maybe it wasn't a normal pregnant woman thing.

"I-I'm so so-sorry!" she wailed. "B-bella's right. I haven't g-given you a ch-chance. You're so nice!"

"Um . . . what?" I was beyond confused now, but Alice was crying on Jasper's shoulder and couldn't answer me so I turned to Bella. "Do you know what she's talking about?" I asked her softly. Were these those hormones people talked about pregnant women having?

She started to open her mouth but Rose was the one who said something first.

"Alice is right." She shook her head and tears started to roll down her face too. "Edward, I'm sorry too. We've been so unfair to you for. . .for I don't even know how long. Can you forgive us?"

"What–?"

Emmett cleared his throat, interrupting me, his face serious. "Yeah, man. Rose and I actually talked about it last night." He pushed his fork around his plate and looked down at it, looking. . .embarrassed or something. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't realize it until now. We've kind of been treating you like shit for a long time and it's not okay."

Mom sniffled now and reached across the table to place her hand on mine. "They're right, sweetheart. We've all made so many mistakes and you've suffered because of it. I'm so, so sorry."

My head was spinning, unable to keep up as they talked one right after the other. It was like they were speaking in a code I had no idea how to crack.

"What are you all even talking about?" I finally managed to ask, quickly looking at all of them. "What have you done to me?" This was freaking me out a little. Or a lot.

"You've always been my thinker," Mom started explaining, squeezing my hand again. "Quiet and focused, but that doesn't mean you don't have a big heart. We just haven't given you a chance to show it, sweetheart, and I'm afraid most of us have a habit of ignoring your feelings. I still treat you like you're a child — maybe even worse now than before you went off to college — but you're not a child, and I shouldn't stand back while your brother and sister treat you like a child either. You've grown into a great man, and I should've backed off. Looking back, I feel so terrible about it. I hope you can forgive us."

"And I thought you were selfish," Alice said, finally breathing like normal and not crying as much. "But you're not. Or at least not any more than the average person. Like Mom said, you do have a big heart, but I haven't paid attention enough to notice." She stopped and took a deep breath as Jasper held her close. "We got along as kids, but I haven't taken the time to get to know you now."

"We don't give you a chance to have an opinion," Rose added. "And then when you do, we act like something's wrong with your opinion when it doesn't match ours. And that's not fair."

Emmett nodded. "Yeah, what they said. And I'm over here still acting like you're my fifteen year old little bro who doesn't know shit, but you're not. Hell man, you were smarter than me then and you're sure as shit smarter than me now."

God, this was too much.

I ran my hands through my hair and then left my hands there, trying to physically stop my head from spinning. I could barely keep up and the more they talked, the more confused I became. Where was this even coming from?

"So wait." I pulled my hands from my head and looked at them again. "You're all saying . . . what the fuck are you saying?"

"I think," Dad began slowly, speaking for the first time in this clusterfuck, "what they're saying is that the whole family has put unfair and unrealistic expectations on you. For you to act in a certain way or to do certain things without respecting that you have a unique personality and way of doing things that isn't wrong. You're a capable adult who doesn't need us telling you how to live your life like you're a child or judging you for your thoughts or feelings. I'm very sorry as well."

Well.

That possibly made a little more sense. Maybe they were all talking about how they all still bossed me around like we were kids. Or how they assumed I'd screw things up all the time. Or how no one really asked my opinion about anything and loved to tell me how I screwed things up.

Okay so maybe this made a lot of sense. I had no clue what had made all of them realize this today after all these years, but I hoped it was a good thing.

It was honestly hard to exist in this family sometimes because even though I knew my place, it was like no one accepted me and my role.

I wasn't sure how to respond to them though. They were all looking at me now except Jasper who was distracting the kids. I could also understand why he wasn't a part of this conversation; we'd made our peace with each other weeks ago.

As I tried to figure out what to say, I felt a hand slip into mine under the table. I looked beside me at Bella as I held her hand tightly. She gave me a small smile and nodded, and that little thing made me feel like I could get my thoughts in order. No matter what, she'd be here with me. She accepted me, faults and all. I could survive this now awkward as hell dinner.

"It's . . . it's okay," I said, clearing my throat. "I think I understand what you're talking about, and I know you all probably didn't do it on purpose." Bella squeezed my hand again, giving me the courage to say what I needed to say. "But I'm different now. I'm a grown man, and I don't need anyone to tell me what to do or what to think. I accept your apology, but only if you don't continue treating me like this. I'm not some dumb kid, and I don't want to be treated like one."

They all immediately agreed and then I was the one getting hugged by everyone as the girls all started crying again. After what seemed like an eternity, everyone finally sat down and I was able to quickly finish my dinner before excusing myself and Bella. I couldn't get out of there fast enough, and didn't even look behind me in case someone else had something to say. I couldn't take any more of that.

As soon as Bella and I were in my room, I collapsed on the couch and sighed, covering my eyes with my arm.

I felt Bella sit next to me and she started running her fingers through my hair. "Are you okay? I'm sorry about that. It might be my fault they said something."

I moved my arm, remembering what Alice had said about Bella being right. Not that I cared what she had said or done. It was probably time for a conversation like that, even if it had been painful and completely out of left field.

And now Bella looked worried which made my chest hurt.

"Hey, it's okay." I pulled her close so she was leaning against me and threaded my fingers through hers. "I'm not mad. And I'll be okay. That was . . . yeah that was wild. What did you say?"

"I was telling them how sweet you were to me and that you were really nice, and Alice didn't believe me," she explained. "So I said you were wonderful and maybe she hadn't given you a chance. Was that wrong? I didn't know they'd all talk like that."

"No, not wrong," I quickly assured her. Yeah, it kind of hurt that Alice didn't think I could do nice things, but she'd seemed really upset about it tonight. Everyone seemed upset about it tonight, so I was hopeful things would change. "I guess we've just all settled into these roles for a while and I never said anything so I can't totally blame them. Maybe things will be better now. But you think I'm wonderful, huh?"

I looked down at her, smiling as she blushed.

"The most wonderful," she agreed. "Earlier today was so much fun. I love spending time with you."

"I love . . . spending time with you too." Another phrase was right on the tip of my tongue which startled the shit out of me.

Did I love Bella? I'd never been in love before so I had no idea. Yet another thing to talk to Dad about but that would have to wait.

I'd had more than enough deep shit to last a lifetime. But it wasn't a bad day overall. My time with Bella earlier made sure of that. And the time we were about to spend together would be a bonus.

"Want to steal some dessert after everyone goes home and then kiss some more?" she asked, looking at me hopefully.

Yeah I definitely needed to talk to Dad soon because I was feeling something.

AN: I'm sure no one remembers this story, and that's okay!

It's been almost 4 years since I last updated, and I don't have a good excuse but I do have an excuse. In the last 4 years I've met someone, got married, moved states, changed jobs, moved again, had a baby, moved again . . . and here we are. It's exhausting just typing it out. lol.

But now that I'm approaching my third wedding anniversary and have a 14 month old, the new mom brain fog is starting to clear just a little (because I still don't sleep. . . Lawd have mercy), and I'm ready to get back to some of the things I enjoyed in the past.

And even if no one reads twific anymore, that's okay too! I'm still going to give it my best shot to work on this fic and Perfect Love during nap time every day.

So hopefully I'll see y'all again soon! :)

And please excuse any mistakes because this is unbeta'd. MelissaMargaret is still the best even if she didn't clean up this hot mess. lol.