Otou-san to Papa!
This is a very, very late submission for a Christmas fan fiction exchange; I'll go commit seppuku now.
Summary: An unwilling pair has to take care of the Sawada couple's five year old kid. Drabble series.
Interaction, and the Lack of
"Okaa-san? Otou-san?" The five year old had chocolate orbs which glistened with innocence, which made him harder to ignore – much less his redundant questions whose answers were quite obvious.
For one, Fon was dumbfounded but not quite to the point where he was rendered speechless; on the other hand, Reborn was not faring any better as the hitman felt the onset of a terrible migraine rolling along.
Being the more approachable of the pair, Fon took it upon himself to entertain the little one's inquiry. "You are Tsunayoshi-kun, right?" The only response he was able to pry off was a small nod but it was progress nonetheless. "I'm Uncle Fon and this here is–"
"Reborn," the fedora wearing man supplied.
Tsuna attempted to remember the name with little ease. "Re-Re-Reebon?"
Reborn was on the edge of muttering a spitting no but Fon erupted in a fit of laughter just in the nick of time. "Yes, he is Reebon-oji." There was a scathing glare from Reborn but it mattered none as Tsuna beamed from the appraisal.
"Fon-o-oji to Reebon-oji," Tsuna managed between the slight stuttering.
"You're going to treat me to dinner for this, Fon." The statement was punctuated by a long drag at his cigarette; the price of becoming a temporary Reebon-oji was quite high, which of course, wouldn't be left unpaid without interest.
Smiling still, Fon craddled Tsuna in his arms as he entered the Sawada residence, "Of course. Dessert's on me, too."
If there was one thing to be learned about this whole ordeal, it was that children never watched National Geography or AXN. Reborn had been channel hopping when Tsuna stumbled upon some cartoon and with his little fingers, he grabbed the hem of Reborn's dress shirt ad started tugging.
"To-To-Tom and–" On the verge of tears, Tsuna trembled from having forgotten the last two syllables of his favorite show. This did not go unnoticed and much to Reborn's chagrin, he had to sift through the programs' list.
He almost blew his fuse when he found a picture of a cat chasing a mouse with the title Tom and Jerry in bold print. A mouse with a round head? Kids like this? He pressed the keys in the remote control, which he left in Tsuna's care as he headed for the kitchen.
"Oi, let's switch," Reborn muttered as he hovered over the slightly smaller male. Fon had been busy with food prep, as was evident with the minced meat and neatly chopped vegetables.
"I doubt you'd do a better job than me though." He was half-joking but Fon knew that Reborn was a no-nonsense guy; in no time, he was dragged into the couch and got stuck with a giddy Tsuna, whose eyes were fixated on the television screen.
Tsuna scrambled onto Fon's side then situated himself comfortably on top of the latter's lap; Fon acquiesced and started ruffling the mop of brown hair. "Tsunayoshi-kun, what are you watching?"
"Tom and Je-Jerry," Tsuna said, cheeks tinted red.
"Ah, I-Pin watches this, too." The image of his apprentice laughing heartily immediately flashed and he found himself enjoying the show with Tsuna as the sizzling of the frying pan filled the house.
"Reebon-oji..." Contrary to popular belief, not all boys appreciated toy guns and cars, action figures even. Tsuna had a half-accomplished Sudoku puzzle and a Rubik's Cube with him as he pleaded with Reborn, who was tending to a mug of coffee.
As Reborn was about to shoo off the toddler, Fon said from the living room, "I'm tidying up so take care of Tsunayoshi-kun in the meantime."
Arms crossed stiffly over his chest, Reborn gestured towards the empty seat adjacent his. "Make it up and I'll help you with that."
Truth be told, Tsuna was small: his legs were short, his arms were short. Everything was. The kid tried tip-toeing but the stool was still far out of reach. Next, he tried jumping but it was another failed attempt. "Reebon-oji..."
It probably was the wrong choice to go with caffeine given the early morning and Reborn swore he felt several of his veins popping. He disliked kids and their tenacity. Plus, that pout was simply irresistible as he hoisted Tsuna up into the air and into the table top.
"What do you need help with?" To his surprise, the puzzle book revealed more unfinished crosswords and word hunts. What does that Iemitsu teach his kid? He grabbed a pencil and started working on the first out of many puzzles and Tsuna observed him by the sidelines with glee.
"Reebon-oji sure is fast..." Tsuna piped in as Reborn leafed to the next.
The urge to roll his eyes won over him and so did his clipped response, "Of course I am."
"W-when I grow up, I wanna be as good a Reebon-oji!" Reborn would have laughed, if he had not found the last word he was looking for among the jumbled letters.
"Dream on, kid. Dream on."
"Still a no."
"Fon-oji, c-can I have ice cream?" Fon found it hard to say no to the puppy eyes, in total contrast to Reborn's succeeding rejections; of course, the martial artist always had a soft spot for kids especially since he had become I-Pin's guardian some years past.
"Of course you can–"
"No," Reborn countered for the umpteenth time.
"Why not?" Personally speaking, Fon was okay with sweets but...
"Because I said so," Reborn pressed on pointedly.
Then, a bright idea ticked on the young Tsunayoshi's head. "Reebon-ojii, i-if I brush my teeth, can I have ice cream?"
"Really, Reborn. I don't see why he can't have ice cream."
It was a different matter altogether when Fon was the one asking and Reborn instantly seceded. "Fine."
"Wai! Arigatou Reebon-oji!" Tsuna scrambled towards the refrigerator where his favorite frozen treat was kept hidden.
"Dun wanna." Tsuna clutched on to Fon's leg as he trembled from Reborn's fierce glare. "Baths are cold. Dun wanna. Fon-oji, p-please?"
"Stop hiding and come here," Reborn muttered under his breath. It had been nearly 30 minutes since his stalemate with the kid and the squeaky toys on the ledge of the tub were simply not working. "Look, here's mister ducky–"
"No!" Tsuna screamed from the top of his little lungs as he ran for the living room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his small frame.
Luckily, Fon had faster reflexes.
"Tsunayoshi-kun, we'll use warm water so it'll be okay," Fon offered reassurance which was taken quite well by Tsuna. He then scooped the kid from the floor and into his arms. "Let's go to Reebon-ojii and–"
"Hm?" Fon leaned in closer then Tsuna started whispering about grumpy grandpas and annoying squeaky toys. "Alright, Tsunayoshi-kun. I'll ask Reebon-oji to wait outside."
Reborn threw himself onto the couch as soon as he had heard; no way would he want to stick around and wait for the kid to finish bathing. Fon managed to mouth an apology however, and he could only sigh at his mounting interest.
Once they were inside, Tsuna had started shuffling with the body towel, face flushed and gaze drifting from corner to corner of the room. "What's wrong, Tsunayoshi-kun?"
"O-okaa-san said that I can only show my peepee to the girl I like but–" Tsuna scrunched his brows together then added, "I like Fon-oji, so it's okay!"
Fon left room for a sigh; he could only hope that the young Tsunayoshi did not mean like in his mother's context.
 Fon-ojii to Reebon-oji. This simply means 'Uncle Fon and Uncle Reebon (Reborn)'.
 Wai! Arigatou Reebon-oji. Translated to 'Yay! Thank you, Uncle Reebon!'.