The sun was shining through this windows as Sherlock woke up and John had his arm slung across the Detectives bare chest. John woke as Sherlock turned to look at him and smiled up to his Detective.
"Good morning, Sherlock. Sleep well?"
"Very well, actually. You?"
John began kissing Sherlocks chest, making his way up to his lips, his hands running up and down Sherlocks body leaving goosebumps everywhere he touched. Sherlock wrapped an arm around the Doctor, holding the smaller man to him. John swung his leg over the Detective, straddling him, and placed his hands on Sherlocks chest, holding himself up, he studied the Detectives body in the sunlight, his pale skin glowing a beautiful shade of white.
"You are absolutely gorgeous, Sherlock. I could stay in this bed forever if it were possible."
"Anything is possible, John." The Detective took advantage of Johns position and ran his hands up and down Johns thighs.
John, not taking his eyes from Sherlocks, slowly ran his hand down Sherlocks chest, his stomach, and stopped at the waistband of his boxers. Sherlocks back arched as John played with the waistband of his boxers.
"Dont stop John .. dont stop..." Sherlock sighed as John slid his hand under his boxers.
Sherlock woke with a start, his heart racing and an odd feeling in his pants. He still had goosebumps from where dream John has touched him. Unlike his dream, Sherlock woke up to an empty bed, and he reluctantly made his way downstairs to the kitchen to find John. Sure enough, there he was, coffee in hand and a very angry look on his face.
"You know, it should be me with that look on my face. You hate it when I leave you in bed so I thought you would have stayed." Sherlock said in a joking tone.
John ignored Sherlocks comment completely and asked, "What was wrong with you last night?"
"So we havent forgotten my little outburst? Do we have to talk about it right now?"
"Yes, Sherlock. We do. You seem to be having trouble dealing with whatever we're doing here." John used his hands to motion between him and Sherlock. "You need to tell me what you're thinking and where you are with this relationship. Because if this is just another one of your stupid experiments I want no part in it. I have real feelings for you, Sherlock and if you cant tell me how you feel then I dont know if I can do this anymore!"
Sherlock was a little shocked at Johns words. He walked over to an armchair, sat down and brought his knees up to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Its not as easy as you make it sound." It came out as a whisper compared to Johns.
"Yes it is Sherlock! You have done numerous things that were much more difficult than this!"
"I know but .. "
"But nothing Sherlock! Either you talk or I am walking out that door." John pointed to the door and slammed his cup of coffee on the table. Sherlock flinched at the sound of the cup hitting the table and the anger in Johns voice.
Sherlock sat, staring at the floor while John was filled with more and more anger.
"Well .. Say something"
"I ... John ... you ... " Sherlock was racking his brain for the right words to say.
"Sherlock .. " John got up and sat on the couch opposite the detective. "Just talk to me! "
"Im just confused, John!"
"You can talk to me about anything. You know that right? I wont laugh, or judge you. I just want you to trust me as much as I trust you!" John was calming down a little bit, trying to comfort the Detective and to get him to talk.
"Ive been having these dreams. Since the first time we kissed. Always the same dream."
"And what is this dream about?"
Sherlock hesitated, not wanting to discuss this with John. He wasnt ready for it.
"I dream of you, John."
"Me?" John was curious now. Were the dreams bad? Good? His mind was racing, thinking of all the possibilities.
"Yes. And I dont know what they mean. They are good dreams, but each time I have it I wake up terrified." Sherlock was still not making eye contact with John, looking anywhere other than at the Doctor. His eyes always gave everything away.
"How exactly can a dream be good but terrify you at the same time? Just explain what happens in the dream, Sherlock."
"Im willing to bet it isnt. You're just thinking to much into it."
"Well ... the dreams take place in the morning. I wake up, and you're beside me. You wake up just after me, and we, I guess, snog. Thats the word right? Anyways, that happens for a little while and then you straddle me, and reach your hand into my trousers." Sherlock finally made eye contact with John. "And then I wake up."
"So .. " John was having trouble finding his voice. Sherlock was dreaming of sex with John. And it was good, but it terrified him. "What part of that is good and what part is terrifying?"
"Its all good John! Whats terrifying is that Ive never - not in my whole life - had a dream like this. I really didnt think myself able to have such a dream. To have those sorts of feelings. Craving your touch, wanting to be with you completely." Sherlock took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Its all new to me, and I dont know what to do with these ... these feelings!"
"We can talk about it, Sherlock. Ive never done any of this with a man either so its all new to me in a way. Is this why everytime we ... you know ... you get all weird?"
"I suppose so."
"If you're uncomfortable with anything you just have to tell me to stop! I wont be mad at you, Sherlock. I love you."
John froze as he realized what he had just said. Saying 'I love you' was certainly no way to calm down his Detective.
"You .. love me?"
"Well ... I guess so." John panicked, "Dont freak out or anything, but I think I might have been in this relationship a lot longer than you, and I dont know, it doesnt have to mean anything if you dont want it to. We can just forget about it."
"I dont want to forget about it."
Sherlock rose from his chair and sat on the couch with John. He sat cross-legged facing the Doctor and took hold of his hands - which were shaking.
"I dont know what love feels like. Ive never felt it before, but I have very strong feelings for you, John. I dont know what I would do if I lost you, or hurt you in any way. When you arent around I feel like a part of me has gone missing, and its harder to breath when you arent around. When you touch me I get chills, and when we kiss it feels like electricity is flowing through my whole body. If thats love then, I love you too, John."
"Oh, Sherlock..." John reached up to caress Sherlocks face, bringing their lips together.
Sorry it took me so long to update this. I didnt know if I still liked it or not. Ive had part of this chapter written since the last time I updated and I kept coming back everyday and changing it. Im still not to sure how I feel about it, but I dont completely hate it right at this second. Please leave reviews on your thoughts, good or bad I want to hear them!
Please leave reviews on your thoughts, good or bad I want to hear them!