(Warnings: severe mental illness, self-harm, OC character death)

The warnings for this will not be posted at the top of each chapter unless something new comes up. If you are triggered by dark themes or content, I recommend giving this story a miss. If you have any questions about content, please don't hesitate to send me a message. I'll answer any and all questions regarding possibly triggering content.


Has there ever been a moment when everything seemed perfect? When on the surface, things were exactly as they should be. But you couldn't help the nagging feeling of inexplicable dread that panged in the pit of your stomach? A sense of foreboding seeping through the bubble of peaceful contentment?

The moment when you realized: Nothing gold can stay.


"Seb, baby, come back to bed. It's snowing like crazy," Blaine whines, rolling closer to Kurt for warmth. "I'm sure Burt will let youstay too. He said he didn't want either of us driving home in this storm and I don't either." He sits up and pulls the top sheet up to cover his bare lap as he watches Sebastian move around the room, pulling his jeans on.

Sebastian turns to face his boyfriends, buttoning up his jeans before ducking down to kiss Blaine on the lips. "It's okay, beautiful," he soothes, stroking along Blaine's cheek. "My Jeep can handle it. You stay here and keep Kurt company. Believe me, if I could stay, I would, but I can't tonight."

"Hot date?" Kurt asks, grinning.

A devious smirk tilts Sebastian's lips. "Babe, if it's any hotter than this date, I'm pretty sure it would kill me." He kisses Kurt quickly on the lips. "My dad wants me home tonight for some reason." He shrugs, but a look of worry crosses his face for a moment before it relaxes again. "I'll call you as soon as I get home."

There's nothing outstandingly unusual about the circumstance. It's just their typical Saturday night. Sebastian always has to go home. It's not new. But there's something about tonight that has Kurt on edge for a reason he can't quite pinpoint.

Things at the Smythe house have never been good, but lately, it seems that they're just getting worse, and though Sebastian won't talk about it, it's plain to see that something about him has changed recently. He's been uncharacteristically on edge, distracted, and clearly agitated. He'd never admit it, but whatever is going on at home is getting to him.

They've been dating for over a year, but it's just the past few months that have had Sebastian acting strangely. Some nights, he'll just show up in the middle of the night to climb into one of his boyfriends' beds. He'll cry himself out and just cling to the warmth of the other boy in the bed. It was rare at first, but lately, they've both taken to leaving their windows open a crack so he can sneak in more easily. It's reached the point that Burt now thinks nothing of seeing Sebastian asleep in Kurt's bed.

It's easy to push it aside and move on because when Sebastian wakes up, it's always like nothing even happened. They've talked about the possibility that Sebastian sleepwalks (sleepdrives?) and he seemed ready to accept the accusation. He explains it away as a product of too much stress at school and they move on.

Sebastian's face screws up in distress and he digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, growling in quiet frustration.

"Are you alright, Seb?" Kurt asks, suddenly concerned. He makes a move to slide out of bed but Sebastian stops him, shaking his head to clear it and forcing a smile.

"It's just a headache, babe," he placates, faking another smile. Blaine reaches for his hand, clearly just as unwilling to let him leave. Sebastian lifts Blaine's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to his knuckles. "I love you both so much."

He kisses both boys on the lips. "Now, I've got to go, but I swear I'll call you as soon as I get home." He shrugs on his shirt and smiles as he darts kisses to both boys. They hear him say goodnight to Burt and Carole before the front door bangs shut.

Blaine looks at Kurt and they almost go after him.

What's the expression? Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades?


Kurt answers his phone on the first ring. Before he can even say hello, he hears shaking, violent, wracking sobs from the other end of the line. His skin crawls with dread and panic, and Blaine is already on his feet getting dressed when Kurt croaks out, "Seb? What's the matter?"

The sheer terror in Sebastian's voice cuts like a blade. "Help me! He-He hurt Sebastian. There's so much blood!"

Blaine tosses clothes to Kurt so Kurt dresses as he rushes, "Honey-"

"Please! He's bleeding! Kurt will help! Kurt and Blaine will make him stop!" Sebastian cries through sobs.

"Honey, you're not making any sense," Kurt tries to soothe, his entire body trembling. Blaine presses a kiss to his forehead and takes the phone.

Sebastian's voice is shaking dangerously, hysterical and terrified. "I-I called Kurt to help me. A-And Blaine. They'll help me. They love me." Then softer. "Please. I don't want to die."

A small whimper of total helplessness slips past Kurt's lips and his hand flashes to cover his mouth. Blaine just gestures for him to keep moving. "Seb, baby, it's me," he starts, calm in a way that makes Kurt fall just a little more in love with him.


There's a collective sigh of relief for the moment of lucidity. "Yeah, baby, it's Blaine." He has the door open and is shepherding Kurt down the stairs and out the front into the frigid mid-December snow. "What do you mean you don't want to die?"

"He hurt him!" Sebastian cries, the sound echoing off the walls of a tightly enclosed space. He's hiding from someone. "I made him throw up the pills he took. Please don't let us die."

"You made who throw up the pills?" Blaine asks, confused, worry and fear building with each passing second. He starts the car and peals out of the icy driveway, caring little about nearly taking down the Hummels' mailbox.

Sebastian's voice shakes from the other end of the line as he answers, "Sebastian."

Kurt takes the phone into his shaking hand. "It's Kurt, baby. Where are you?"

"M-My closet," Sebastian whines, sounding very much like a scared child. "Kurt, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Kurt chokes out through panicked sobs, his eyes drifting to Blaine for comfort. Without looking away from the road, Blaine reaches over and takes Kurt's hand, squeezing it gently and Kurt takes a breath. "Stay on the phone with me. We're almost there."

There's silence for a second before Sebastian comes back. "I'm so scared, Kurt. There's blood everywhere and I don't know why!" He's hysterical and building toward a full out panic attack. "Sebastian is hurt."

They've made the normally forty-five minute drive in under twenty and Blaine throws the car in park at the end of the Smythes' driveway, jumping out and running full-tilt toward the front door with Kurt hot on his heels. "We're here, baby. Just hang on."

Kurt shuts the phone and shoves it in his pocket as he follows Blaine into the house uninvited, tearing through the living room and up the stairs-the elder Smythes seem very upset with the intrusion but neither Kurt nor Blaine can find it in them to even notice.

Blaine is the first one to the closet, wrenching open the door to find Sebastian sitting inside with his knees pulled to his chest, his hands clapped over his ears as he rocks back and forth. There are rivulets of blood running down his arms, soaking into the fabric of his clothes. He looks toward the open door and blinks convulsively at the bright light. Blaine drops to the ground and pulls the terrified boy into his arms, rocking him as though he can't help it. "Shh, baby, you're okay now. We're here. The ambulance is on its way."

Kurt is almost positive that he's in shock, but he's got enough wits to spin around the second he hears Mr. Smythe come through Sebastian's door. He raises an accusatory finger in the man's face. "Your son was up here screaming and you didn't even try to help him!"

The man rocks back on his heels. "He's a big boy he can-"

"He's sick!" Kurt screams in defense. "He doesn't know who any of us are!"

There's a scuffling sound from the closet before Blaine cries out for him. He whirls around to see Sebastian fighting against Blaine's hold, the desperation in his eyes making him look like a trapped animal, feral and terrified.

He runs over and drops down beside Sebastian, framing his face and stroking his cheek in what he can only hope is a soothing manner. "It's okay," Kurt tries to soothe. He reaches down and takes one of Sebastian's hands. "You're okay."

Kurt can hear sirens outside and crashing footsteps and it all seems surreal. Like a fevered nightmare.

Sebastian's eyelids droop dangerously and Kurt shakes him; his head lolls on his shoulders. "Don't, Seb. Stay awake for me."

He lowers Sebastian back down to the floor and Blaine wraps an arm around his waist. Sebastian's eyes drag open in what looks like an Herculean effort to meet his boyfriends' eyes. "L-Love you," he mumbles.

In the next second, his eyes roll back and he slumps against Blaine's side, unconscious.

A/N: I was hesitant to post this on ffnet as I was worried that it might not be well received. But, after some urging from one of my followers on tumblr who does not have a Livejournal, I have decided to post it here as well. This story is in a completely different vein than anything I've ever written in that it is very, very dark. There are warnings for this I never thought I'd have to use, but I hope you enjoy the story. And as always, reviews are greatly appreciated. :)