A/N: This is more of a Sebastian interlude, but I loved it too much to leave it out. It probably shouldn't count as a chapter, but I'm saying that it does, so it does. The entire story was originally supposed to be from his POV but things changed and it ended up the way it is. This is also me experimenting with a writing style I've never really tried before.
When Sebastian wakes up, he's nauseous and groggy, knows from experience that it means he was drugged. The deep muscle ache in his thigh serves as further proof. There's pressure on his hand, a thumb soothing over his knuckles, too warm to belong to Kurt. Must be Blaine then.
He drags his eyes open and tries to blink away the disorientation of closing his eyes in a bright, sunlit office and reopening them to dim twilight in his hospital room. Still half0asleep, he thinks idly that he should be used to losing chunks of time like this.
The worry/relief in his voice is enough to slap away the last of the fog of sleep.
"Yeah, baby," Sebastian tries and winces at the way the words scratch his inexplicably hoarse throat. He squeezes Blaine's hand in a plan B attempt to soothe away the anxious crease from his boyfriend's brow.
It doesn't seem to work and Blaine stays tense and nervous, so Sebastian moves to sit up, immediately regretting the action when every muscle screams in protest. Apparently he'd been hit by a train while he was unconscious. He keeps the pain from showing on his face and settles against the pillows.
Blaine pats his leg and reaches over to take a paper cup from the nightstand. "Here, honey." His voice is soft and nervous. Sebastian wishes he knew why. Instead, he takes the offered cup and lets Blaine regard him carefully.
He takes a drink and the water feels like a cool miracle on his throat so he downs it. The action elicits a small breath of a laugh from Blaine. Sebastian's eyes drift to his face, find it slightly more relieved than worried, and offers a hesitant smile when he lowers the cup before trying his voice again with quiet but not nearly as painful sounding, "Thank you."
Blaine gives him a real smile at that and pats his hand again. He feels a little babied and wants Blaine to stop treating him like an invalid but says nothing. He knows it's just how Blaine shows sympathy, knows that Blaine really just wants to make everything okay again in the best way he knows how. And Blaine is smiling now, looking more relieved by the second to have Sebastian awake and talking, so Sebastian just lets it go.
"More water?" he asks. Sebastian hands him the cup automatically, distracted by watching the dim lights of the room play on Blaine's face.
"You're really amazing, you know that?" Blaine turns around at the sound of his voice, smiling warmly before huffing out a laugh.
"They drugged you good, didn't they?" It's a dismissive joke but Blaine's eyes are soft and have lost all the sadness they held before so Sebastian counts it as a win. Blaine presses a kiss to his forehead and hands him another cup of water.
Sebastian takes the cup but doesn't drink right away, watching Blaine instead. He smiles and laces their fingers together. "I mean it," he says quietly. He's not sure the words will come out right, but he tries anyway. "You're amazing, Blaine." He wants to tell Blaine that he's lucky and thankful for him and that he loves him, but he can't quite find the right words without bordering on maudlin, so he leans over, ignoring the stabbing pain in his shoulder, and kisses Blaine on the lips.
From the dazed expression on Blaine's face when he pulls away, he thinks Blaine understands.
He takes a drink of water, less urgent this time, and glances around. "Where's Kurt?"
"He had to work. Some idiot got drunk and decided he wanted to take a bath. Apparently, he started running the water and passed out on the couch. Flooded the bathroom, the hall, and the kitchen."
The idea of Kurt having to clean up after anyone makes Sebastian's skin crawl. Kurt should be the one being catered to. Blaine sighs and rolls his eyes, clearly following the same train of thought as Sebastian. "He called me when he got in there. The guy completely trashed the place."
Not for the first time, guilt washes over Sebastian. The image of Kurt cleaning up some drunk asshole's mess actually makes him a little sick and knowing that it's his fault that Kurt has to do it in the first place makes him a lot sick so he tries to push it aside. It's not his fault, not really. He takes comfort in the knowledge that, were the situation reversed, he'd do whatever it took to make sure that Kurt was well taken care of and content.
He promises himself he'll make up for it somehow.
Blaine must see his far-away expression because he squeezes his hand and Sebastian comes back to the present to find a slightly amused look on his boyfriend's face. He offers a small smile in return and tries to change the subject. "How long were you just sitting vigil by my bedside?" he asks, trying for light but coming out a bit too serious. He mentally kicks himself when the tension returns to Blaine's shoulders.
"Not too long," Blaine hedges. He's a terrible liar. Sebastian just looks at him until he shifts and takes a breath. "A few hours. What do you remember?"
Damn it. In Sebastian's experience, nothing good ever starts with, "How much do you remember?"
Because How much do you remember? is code for: "How much do you remember so that I know how much I can sugar coat the fact that something really fucking awful just happened and pretend that everything is fine?"
Sebastian fakes a smile, tilts his head, and says, "You first."
"It's been worse," Blaine says by way of explanation accompanied by his best attempt at a flippant shrug. It works. It tells Sebastian pretty much all he needs to know.
He's woken up screaming and shaking and crying, clawing at his skin in a manic attempt to make the pain stop, anything to silence the screaming inside his head.
"They drugged me?" It's not really a question. He's not surprised when Blaine nods and offers him a nod in return. "Thought so."
They lapse into silence, Blaine's thumb sliding over his knuckles the only real measure of time. The sun has completely set and it must be getting close to the end of visiting hours. Blaine is going to have to leave soon, probably going home to an empty apartment. He opens his arms. "Come here."
Blaine looks up and smiles softly before climbing onto the bed and Sebastian wraps him up in his arms and presses a kiss to his hair. He hates that he waited so long to do this because all the tension immediately bled from Blaine's body at the contact. He kisses his hair again, breathes in the familiar scent of apple shampoo and Blaine and exhales, "I love you."
"I love you, too," Blaine returns, quiet and subdued; he's exhausted. Sebastian tightens his hold and lets Blaine lean further into his side. He hopes that, if he's quiet, maybe Blaine can sleep for a little bit in his arms before he has to go home. He starts to hum softly in an attempt to tip the odds in his favor. It works. Blaine's breathing evens out in sleep and Sebastian finally lets himself relax completely.
He smiles at the quiet snuffling of Blaine nuzzling closer to his neck and watches the steady rise and fall of his chest. Sebastian is sure the white noise of Blaine breathing does more to calm him than any medicine the doctor could ever give him.
So many times he's wanted to give up. Just let his own fucked up head kill him like it wanted to. So many nights he'd lie awake and wonder if it'd be his last night. On the worst nights, he caught himself hoping that it would be, and slowly found himself being increasingly okay with the thought that it could be.
But this-Blaine in his arms, warm, trusting, loving, and alive-Sebastian thinks, this is what makes it worth it. All of the pain and the fighting and the screaming is worth it because Kurt and Blaine believe that it is. They believe in him. And he believes in them.
If nothing else, he believes in Kurt and Blaine. The one good in a seemingly endless world of bad. Through all the darkness, they were the fixed point of light to run toward. At first, it was just them. He couldn't let them down. But eventually, the picture widened. It wasn't just Kurt and Blaine anymore, it was their life together, the life he wanted to have with them. It was Kurt and Blaine and New York and NYU and that damn fountain that Kurt saw in Central Park when he was there that he swore he and Blaine would love.
How can he thank them for saving his life? How can he thank them for giving him hope when he was half a step away from giving up? What could he possibly say? He's pretty sure "Thanks, guys!" isn't going to cut it.
He presses a kiss to Blaine's temple and settles closer into the warmth of his sleeping body with a sigh. "I love you so much, Blaine." It's a breath. A promise. He tightens his arm around, pulling Blaine closer to his side, and closes his eyes, content for just that moment.
A/N 2: Reviews are always appreciated. :)