This randomly popped into my head while I was listening to music. I forget what I was listening to, but I liked the idea! Sorry if it sucks.
And yes, I am aware that there are too many PruCan fics where one of them is suicidal or angsty or whatever. I just wanted to make one with a good story, I guess.
I think this one will have a happy ending in the end.
Warning for this chapter: Attempted Suicide.
Also, I don't own Hetalia.
My feet led me to that door. I calmly grabbed hold and turned the handle. There wasn't much in the room, it was small. There was only a small radio, cleaning supplies, and another door at the back. I walked up to the other door, doing the same procedure.
I made sure to leave all of my stuff in my locker before doing all of this. All of that stuff was just going to weigh me down quicker. I slowly and calmly walked up the steps. Each step I took, my heart raced faster and I could hear the pounding in my head. I actually couldn't believe I was doing this, but everything I had done, led up to it. This very moment. I didn't understand how my body could be so calm, when my heart felt like it was pounding against my ribcage.
Another door. I opened that as well, squinting my eyes at the sunlight. It was a warm spring day, in the middle of April. I stepped out, and walked to the end of the roof. Everything looked so nice, peaceful almost. I gave a sad smile.
Before doing anything else, I pushed my sleeve up and glanced at my wristwatch. It read 4:30. It was at least an hour after school, so nobody would be here. I had my brother convinced that I was at art club, which didn't actually exist as much as I'd like it to.
I looked out at the horizon. The sky was blue, with a barely noticeable orange tint to it. Trees were just gaining their leaves back, and the grass was back to a normal, healthy colour.
I let out a deep breath, one that I hadn't realized I was holding. A gentle wind blew by, breezing my chin-length blond hair within the wind. My heart was really pounding by now, more than it was before. Pounding and racing fast, the noise almost making my head hurt. I stepped up onto the ledge, and let out a shaky breath.
'Just don't look down. It'll be like flying, don't worry! Maybe if you're lucky, nothing will hurt. This is what you wanted, isn't it?'
That fucking voice at the back of my head.. It sounded almost like my own voice, but darker.
I close my eyes tight, and that's when I hear someone.
"Don't you fucking dare jump."
That kid who sits in front of me in my math class had been acting a little off today. Sure, I pick on him sometimes, just because his reactions are funny, but I was a bit worried today. Matthew was ignoring my poking, so I kinda wondered. Usually, he'd react or something, but he didn't even budge! He'd also answer one or two questions the teacher asked, but he never even rose his hand. Hell, he never took his eyes off of his paper!
I had a long detention after school since I was late after lunch for the third time in a row. Psh, not my fault my awesome hangout spot and the science hall were so far away from each other. Stupid rules.
I walked out of the detention room and to the custodian room. I always hung around on the rooftop of the school for a while after school, because I seemed to like the view of the city from above. I could feel the wind and everything, it just felt.. Well, it felt awesome.
The door had already been open, though. That seemed off to me, since Mr. Press never liked leaving the door open. The door to the stairs was open as well, so I walked up to that one, and light shone above me from outside. I saw a shadow leaving the door, and I walked back to the first door and closed it before making my way up the stairs.
I got up, but didn't bother closing the outside door. I frowned at what I saw, processing it. Matthew just stepped up onto the roof ledge, and I could hear a shaky breath leave him.
As I registered what was about to happen, I frowned even more. Taking in a deep breath, and trying to sound as calm as possible, I told him.
"Don't you fucking dare jump."
Matthew turned and looked straight at me with a surprised look on his face, which turned into a frown at me.
"Why? So that you can tease and make fun of me every day?" He said, his voice wavering.
Shit, I didn't think that would've been the reason!
"Exactly. So just leave me alone and let me do this." His voice cut my thoughts.
I took a step towards him. "Wait, I-"
The kid seemed to forget that there was nothing behind him, because he stepped back at my step forward, and before he could pick his weight back up, he tipped over, and I heard the most fearful gasp I've heard in my entire life. I quickly ran to him, and reached down, grabbing his hand.
I didn't understand why Gilbert, of all people, was here stopping me. My body shook as his words played in my thoughts over and over again. After that, my mind almost completely shut down on me, and my voice was acting out on it's own.
My mind zapped back once he took a step towards me, and forgetting that I was on a fucking roof, I took a step back in fear, losing my balance, my eyes growing wide in fear. I let out a harsh gasp, and closed my eyes shut, expecting for the next and last thing to feel was the ground, and the next thing for me to see was blood upon pavement, or possibly nothing.
What I was not expecting to feel, was a hand grabbing mine, and looking up to see Gilbert pulling me up. I shut my eyes as he pulled me up, and held onto his hand tightly. He must have been stronger than he looked to do that, or maybe I was just lighter than I assumed. I wasn't sure, nor did I care at that moment. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"Don't you ever try that again." I heard Gilbert say, not even registering that we were away from the edge of the roof until he spoke. His arms were wrapped around me, almost in a protective manner. I let out a shaky breath, leaning into him. I didn't care that it was Gilbert, but the fact that he was there, comforting me, made me feel like everything was going to be okay. He must have noticed that I began crying, because he was rubbing my back lightly as a sign of comfort.
After just sitting there for about five minutes, Gilbert finally spoke up.
"Promise me you'll never try that again."
I thought about that statement for a moment, and let out a sigh.
"I can't promise that." Yeah, that sounded like a truthful answer. I asked a question without thinking.
"After all of this, why do you care so much?"
It was silent for a moment before I heard Gilbert grunt.
"I know what it feels like, to be hurting like that." His answer was short, but it meant a lot.
I tried to not make my voice sound like it was strained as I answered Matthew's question. I looked down at him, his head still buried in my shoulder. My hand had trailed from his back to his hair, but he didn't seem to mind. It actually seemed to calm him, so I left it there.
His brother was probably worried by now. It may not look like it, but Alfred was extremely protective of Matthew, and even though Matthew didn't seem to notice, his brother actually knew a lot about him. Alfred and I were pretty close one year, but that somehow faded once he started hanging out with that Japanese boy. I just decided to leave it alone, and let things work themselves out.
I let go of Matthew, and stood up, extending a hand to him. He gave me a questioning look, but took it, and I pulled him up once again. I led him off of the roof, and out of the janitor closet in silence, still holding onto his hand.
"Do you need to go to your locker?" I decided to ask, after closing the door. I didn't care what he said, I was not letting him out of my sight until I got him home.
"Where are we going?" He softly asked me, looking at me, but not making direct eye contact.
"I'm taking you home." I started, and he let out a sigh. "Listen, I'm going to make up for all those times I unintentionally hurt you, whether you like it or not."
"That's nice of you, but I'd rather-" I hushed him by bringing a finger to his lips. He let out another sigh. "Yes, I do need to go to my locker.."
We walked to his locker together, in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't a peaceful silence, either.
After Matthew got what he needed from his locker, we walked to the parking lot. His house wasn't too far from the school, maybe a ten minute walk, but mine was, so I drove myself and Ludwig to school each morning. Usually he'd go to Feliciano's house after school, and I didn't mind that.
The ride was silent, as well. Matthew looked like he had a lot on his mind, so I didn't turn on the radio or anything. I looked over to him quickly a few times while I was driving, and it almost looked like he'd spaced out. Almost the same look on his face when we were in math class, but more.. More strained, and tired.
When we arrived at his house, I gave him a light tap on the shoulder, and he looked over to me and smiled lightly. "Thank you for all of this, Gilbert."
I was surprised. I was expecting him not to say a word, so I grinned back.
"It's no problem! Hey, can I see your phone for a moment?"
"Er.. Sure.." He mumbled, before pulling out his phone from his shoulder bag, and handed it to me.
I grinned. It was one of those qwerty slider phones, so once I got to the screen I wanted, I slid that out, and tapped on a few keys. I hit enter, then handed it back to him.
"If you ever feel upset, or just need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to text or call me." I stated. I truely wanted to help out Matthew in any way that I could at this moment. I also really wanted to make up for everything I had done in the past. It was an odd change for me, but I honestly didn't know it affected him that much in the first place.
Matthew gave a short nod, and a smile again before leaving my car, closing the door behind him. He looked back and gave a wave, mouthing 'thanks', before opening the door to his house.
After that, I drove off. I had a lot to think about.