Hello! Suffice to say I haven't written any Star Wars fanfiction before, and this is my first time writing in a long time, so thank you for reading, especially since this is really short. And also, I'm sorry if Padmé is a bit OOC. I tend to think of her as a really strong female character, but I think here I wrote her as a bit of a traditional housewife? Which I don't think fits her too well, but I just went with what came out of my brain, so... here it is!
She spends most of her time alone, dreaming. Dreaming while she does the dishes, while she cooks, while she watches the HoloNet for news of Anakin. No, no, he is Darth Vader now, and she can only change that when she dreams. So she does, because she would rather live in a dreamland of what ifs than force herself to face reality.
Sometimes she dreams that she didn't love him still. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much, to see the news of his new victories as the new emperor's right-hand man, if she didn't love him anymore. He is good he is good he is goodgoodgoodgoodgood, she tells herself. Too good to be the one doing those horrible things she sees on the HoloNet, slaughtering women and children, slicing through them with his red lightsaber (red is evil evil evil evil evil but still she thinks there is good inside of him) like air. That can't be her Ani, no, not her reckless and charming Jedi husband. But then he is not hers anymore, is he? He is someone else now, someone so different he doesn't belong to her anymore, doesn't belong with her anymore, no matter how much she wants him to.
So she dreams instead. She dreams of her children, taken far away from her to hide them from the evil monster that is their father. imagines what they might look like – Luke with his father's eyes and nose and cheeks, Leia with his heart and his stubborn nature and his goodness. She remembers the time they spent together, when he protected her from her enemies and hired assassins and her own fears and there is nothing she wants more than to have him and their children with her, a peaceful little family like they had always dreamed of.
She can see it all in her head, their happy little family,
(Luke and Leia making adorable little baby sounds that she can't help but coo at; Luke and Leia giggling as she tickles and blows on their tummies; Luke and Leia starting to walk, arms held out towards her and Anakin; Luke and Leia opening their birthday presents, eyes wide with excitement and wonder; Luke growing up to be the spitting image of his father, Leia growing up with his spirit; Luke and Leia falling in love; Luke and Leia getting married; Luke and Leia and their children and no stop it, Padmé, just stop it before you hurt yourself)
mixed in among dreams that he will feel her and he will find her and he will still be in love with her and they will be happy. Because somehow, she still has hope, as the years go by and she sees on the HoloNet her fellow Senators, allies and enemies alike, dying for a cause that they believed in. A cause that she believes in, since she is still here and still waiting. Always waiting for him to come find her.
But until then, she dreams. Of her children, of course, and of a new republic, of Palpatine's death and Vader's death and the day that her Ani will come back to life and help bring the universe back to its proper place. But most of all, she dreams that she won't have to dream anymore. That this empire will fall, that there will be a new republic as noble and just as the old one was supposed to be, and that people won't have dreams anymore, just lives.