/ Last chapter guys! hope you like the ending and did you all see that picture aka Santana's new girl? she'll be making an appearance in this chapter too! /

/ M /

"It'll get better."

"I should just give up." I surrender, throwing my hands up in defeat, "the audition is tomorrow morning and I don't even have a song yet."

Kurt, Hobbit, Mercedes and Quinn had been helping me all day yesterday to pick a song but I still couldn't decide on what to use for my NYADA audition; Mercedes had even came all the way to new york to help me out. It felt good to be surrounded by the Glee kids, it gave me a sense of nostalgia; back to the days where our future didn't depend on song choice or when every decision shaped your future, the days when I'd sit happily at the back of the choir room linking pinkies with-

"Oh my god Santana. You should go with Lana Del Rey, Born To Die." I hear Kurt say like a realization his wild hand movement completely cutting off my thoughts
"I don't agree. I still stand by my earlier suggestion, Santana you should sing The Way We Were by Barbra Streisand. It would be perfect. That song won the Academy Award for Best Song from a Motion Picture and is widely considered one of the top film songs of all time."
Choosing to ignore Rachel I turned to Kurt and asked, "How does that song go?"

I saw Kurt open his mouth to sing but was cut-off by Rachel's annoyingly, albeit pitch-perfect voice.

Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories -

"Rachel, give it up. We're not going with Barbra." Mercedes interrupts before I could.
"Fine, maybe she can go with Just Around the River bend or Colors of the Wind. It's a good song and-"
"Aren't those from Pocahontas?" I hear Quinn from beside me
"Yes. Santana does look very identical to the main character so it would make sense that she would-"
"That is so racist." I heard Kurt whisper to Mercedes
"San..." Quinn sighs, rolling her neck to loosen the muscles, "Just go with what you know, your version of Amy Winehouse's Valerie was great. You should do Wake Up Alone."
"No, don't go with the safe choice when singing in front of Miss Tibideaux, I learned that lesson the hard way." The hobbit warns
"What about disco? 70's music? Like what I did with Disco Inferno." Mercedes suggested , I scrunched my nose in response, "I don't think I want to go disco again, Wheezy."
"What about the 90s? they had some amazing songs from-"

Kurt was cut off by three loud knocks on the door followed by Rachel's bird screech, "that's Brody with dinner! I'll be right back, don't decide on a song without me!" she calls out over her shoulders causing me to look at the blonde beside me trying to will my message to psychically be relayed to Quinn,

'Why the hell did I let you talk me into this?'

"Dinner is served!" called Brody from the kitchen earning a clap from Kurt and Mercedes before they stood and made their way over. The Australian was a pretty nice guy, Rachel's taste has improved a lot since Finn but that could just be me with my little Finn-Hate Goggles, Brody didn't bring up anything relating to the bar and the song since that night and he's been trying to cheer us(me) up since we got back to the apartment; Even going as far as bringing us food.

"What are we having?" Quinn calls to them as she stands up, holding her hand out to me
"Pizza!" I hear Kurt say happily, "and tots!" Mercedes adds excitedly.
I swatted Quinn's hand away as I stood up without Quinn's help, She had been treating me like a damn cripple since we came back from Goodbye Blue Monday's and I know she's being a good friend but I don't want to be helped anymore, I don't want to be weak. "I can do it alone, Lucy." I tell her firmly as I give her a tight smile.

Quinn simply shrugs and hooks her arm around mine, "I know." she smiles before walking into the kitchen

As we walked, Quinn let go of my arm to stand beside Rachel who gave the her a shy smile. In true dramatic fashion, since it seemed like 'dramatics' were the only thing acceptable in this apartment, I cleared my throat to get their attention; causing them to look at me curiously.

"I already know what song I'm going to sing." I told them proudly. I smiled at each of them, Kurt, Brody and Mercedes simply smiled back, Quinn nodding her hear and Rachel; well, she was frowning at Quinn "Quinn, I told you not to make a decision without me," I let out a little laugh and went to grab a slice of pizza.

'I'm not dating anyone new, boy or girl.'


'Your partners will be chosen by fate'

'Energy Exchange'

'They're married'

'I'm Sam. Sam I am. And I don't like Green Eggs and Ham.'

'This feels a lot like a break up to me.'

'Sam and Brittany are together'

'The lockers'

'Proudly so.'

'I will always love you the most.'

'I think I have a bun in the oven'

I woke up with a start, alone, covered in sweat and Brittany's words ringing in my ear. I had to bite back the bile climbing the back of my throat, 'She wouldn't do that.' I thought to myself,

'she would be safe, I taught her enough, Brittany would be safe with Sam.'

I felt the tears escape before I had time to stop them. The sadness was just overwhelming, I couldn't breathe or move at all; I knew it would only be a matter of time before Quinn came back and I could not let her see me like this, I couldn't let anybody see me like this, not after everything they've done for me.

I bit down on my fist to get my breathing under control and closed my eyes, my mind playing back that day in the choir room, that single greatest regret.

'This is my fault.'

'This is my choice.'

I tell myself as I feel the cracks simply giving way,
"Brittany..." I whisper silently to the dark,
"I'm so stupid..." letting the tears and exhaustion drag me to unconsciousness,

"I shouldn't have let her go..."

The next time I woke up I could feel a crushing emptiness inside me, like a ball stuck in my throat or a bear trap clamped around my heart. I couldn't fight anymore, I was just too tired.

I walked absently into the kitchen when I heard Rachel's hushed tone coming from her room, "Please don't think that, I didn't forget you. I could never forget you; not when I was with Finn or Jesse."

Who is she talking to? Brody? Wha-

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice breaking the silence, "Rachel, it's alright, we both got busy with college. It happens."
"Not to us." Rachel answers quietly.

'Us?' I thought as I made my way back to the guest room. I soon heard footsteps heading out of the room followed by light ones and after a moment, they both stopped. They stopped right in front of the plastic covering separating the two rooms. I could see their shadows dancing on the material, Rachel moving to hug Quinn from behind and turning her around before speaking softly "sing with me."

"Rachel..." Quinn says, her tone defeated "I just wanna sleep and forget okay? please?"
Quinn's tone takes me by surprise and my heart thumps loudly in my ears, I whisper to myself trying to believe the words my minds was thinking, "Quinn and R-" I was cut off by Rachel's soft voice, sadder than I've ever heard before.

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand?
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

She pauses, obviously waiting for Quinn to continue the song. My lungs start burning as I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

I heard Quinn finish weakly, "I have to get back, Santana might wake up at anytime." I hear her whisper and I immediately close my eyes; pretending to be asleep,
"I'll see you in the morning." Rachel says sweetly almost lovingly at Quinn. I don't hear her answer and after a second I feel her settling back beside me.

"Please don't tell anyone." Quinn mumbles before turning on her side, facing away from me.

"Where the hell is my phone?" I shout, digging through sheets and pillows in our bed.
"Where did you last see it?" Quinn asks hurriedly
"If I knew where I saw it last, I wouldn't be looking for it, Quinn!" I bark at her, I could feel the blood pumping into my skull, "The audition is in an hour, I can't leave without it!' I tell her, panic settling in my gut.

"It's Important that I have it with me Quinn, I saved the- the lyrics in the notepad, Quinn. What if I forget the words?" I tell her, stuttering and feeling myself start to hypeventilate

"What if I choke like, Berry?"

"Or Tubbido doesn't like me?



The shock cleared my head of panic as all my thoughts focused on the burning red mark on my left cheek.

"Calm down, Santana." Quinn says calmly, rubbing her right palm with her left hand.

"I found it! It was in the bath-room. What happened?" Rachel asked in horror, thrusting the phone in my hand and checking on my cheek. I could feel my brain buzzing in my head as I looked at Quinn who was looking at me critically, "Stop panicking and get it done." I hear her say, the tone was commanding and confident; the same tone she used when she was captain. I note to myself.

"Has the crisis been averted?" I hear Kurt say as they walked in through the front door, he was wearing a blue and black suit with a gorilla brooch. Brody and Mercedes walking up behind him. Brody was wearing a grey suit and black tie while Mercedes went with a floral Blue and Green dress that has the straps just off her shoulder.

"Y-yeah." I stammer, feeling the nerves coming back tenfold.
"You look really good Satan." Wheezy smiles and looks me over from head to toe. I was wearing a flesh colored tube dress that had a fabric rose right between my twins. It emphasized them without making them look too slutty, I had on natural looking make up and silver pumps to go with a simple look.

"Brody, I don't know where you managed to get these but they're beautiful." Kurt says in awe, touching the fabric of my dress; Brody just shrugs in response "they're some of the dresses they use for the winter shows."

"I still don't get why we have to dress like we're going to prom." Quinn complains, tugging at her own red dress, it had cut-out shapes in front that looked like peacocks, or swans, or some type of long necked bird.
"I think you look nice." Rachel compliments her, Rachel was also wearing a silver dress with a deep backline.
"Rachel quit eye-raping Quinn. We gots to go!" I tease them before pushing past the group and down the stairs. I got to the sidewalk ahead of them and felt my phone vibrate in my hands.

I look at the screen I see that it was a message from Brittany,
'Hey San. I know u might be busy with practice rn but I need 2 ask u something important... how do astronauts poop in space?'

'How am supposed to forget you?' I thought to myself feeling like laughing and crying at the same time; I'll never be able to forget her. I should just stop trying. Shaking my head I typed in a quick reply before shoving it in my bag,

'They sit on a vacuum, B. I have to go.'

"You'll be great." I barely hear Quinn say over the sound of my heart thumping in my ears. There was someone playing the violin in front and I'm supposed to go after her so I still had a few minuites to calm my tits. I watch Quinn take her seat between Rachel and Mercedes; Kurt waving my phone in his lady hands. I wave him over and he whispers, "It's from Brittany."

I look at my phone and sure enough there was an unread text message from her, "Thanks." I whisper to him and wave him off before looking at the message,

'but then, where do they dump it? What if their poop gets pulled down by gravity and it starts raining poop on earth. :/'

'they don't dump their poop in space, Britt.'

'u promise?'

'yep, I even googled it.' I typed in, sending a link to the website.

'thanks Sanny! :) oh btw, Mercedes told me u were auditioning for NYADA! Tubs n i are excited he even wanted 2 bribe tubiboo to let you in but i told him u could do it on ur own cuz ur the best singer evaaa! :)'

My heart somehow started shattering again, tears threatened the corner of my eyes and I found it hard to breathe. 'Thanks.'

"Today, Miss Santana Lopez will be honoring us with a song." I hear Tibideaux announce to her class. Despite my calmness earlier while talking to Brittany I could feel my hands and feet going cold. I was sure my heart would leap out of my chest and explode right in front of the 30 or so people in the small auditorium.

I watched the woman, almost in slow motion, turn to me and offered me a place on the stage. My face was numb as I stepped in front of the very best singers and performers in New York; I gave them a smile and started my speech.

"Greetings-" I stopped short, 'Greetings? Seriously?', I thought to myself. I could almost feel my chances slipping from my hands.

"Um, Hello. I'm Santana Lopez and I'll..." I drifted off; Mentally slapping myself. I'll what? I could feel their stares, looking at me like I didn't belong, like I wasn't welcome.

I looked to the right and saw Tibideaux shaking her head slightly. It was only a little movement, a flash of disappointment; It was barely visible but it killed me. It killed me to know that I probably messed this up without even singing yet.

Somone clearing their throat caught my attention and I turned to see that it was Quinn, the four of them were urging me on with their hands; Brody even going as far as giving me two thumbs up with a goofy wink.

Shaking my head and letting out an exasperated sigh, I slacked my shoulders and spoke up, "Okay whatever, my name is Santana Lopez and I'm gonna sing for you all today." I announce, already defeated

When everyone stayed in their seats and Tibideaux gave me a curt smile and a nod followed of course by Rachel yelping and clapping, I took it as a cue to start.

'Just think of Brittany, think of the past few weeks.' I willed myself to open up, to let out everything, to pretend that I'm singing to her in the choir room.

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

I felt the tears come down halfway through the song but I didn't hide it or stop it. I just wanted this to be done, I wanted to forget her and move on.

I bit back the sobs as I forced myself to finish the song and as I let out the final words I choked on my tightening throat and it wasn't a minute later before Quinn was on me; wrapping her arms around my neck and letting me hide my face in her hair. All I could do was to shut my eyes and silently cry into my friends shoulder, "that was beautiful, Santana."

I coughed out a laugh before pushing her back to smile at her, "Of course it was."

Suddenly the room erupted in applause and some of the students were puffy-eyed and wiping at their cheeks. "Thank you, Ms. Lopez and welcome to New York's Academy of the Dramatic Arts." I hear the professor say from behind Quinn, I give her a shy nod and before being engulfed in a group hug by the others.

"Goodbye Blue Monday to celebrate?" Rachel asks happily and I simply smile as they all agreed,
"I'll meet you there, I have somewhere I need to go." I tell them as we walk out of the school. Brody, Kurt and Rachel all hop in to the cab, waiting for Quinn and Mercedes.

"Where are you heading?" Quinn asks, curiosity seeping into her tone.
"Just someplace, I'll be quick." I reassure her as I push her into the cab.
"I know that look, Santana." I hear Mercedes from behind me
"It's nothing Wheezy, just get in the cab." I tell her, feigning annoyance and stepping aside to let her in. A moment later the door is closed and the car is speeding away.

I let out a breath and follow the directions on my phone to my destination.

"Saaaaaanny, you didn't even go to Blue Tuesdays-"

"Blue Mondays, Rachel." Quinn says irritably
"Right. Blue- Blue-"
"Mondays! Brody! get this hobbit to bed before I pop a vein."
"But... Quinn-Cuddles" Rachel says, you could hear she was close to tears

Once Rachel and Brody were in her room, Kurt and Mercedes went over to the kitchen; leaving me alone with Quinn.

"How was your errand?" she asks cautiously, I smiled at her and pulled out an envelope from my bag.
"I'm going to back Ohio next weekend." I tell her simply.
"I have to do this." I interrupt her, handing over the document
"This is-"
"An application to Julliard. It's not for me it's-"
"For Brittany." It wasn't a question, "Santana, are you sure?"

'Am I?'

I think about it for a second before nodding at her. I know this is the right choice.

"She belongs with me, Quinn." I tell her, "and I belong with her."
"I know that but she's with-"
"Sam. I know. I have a plan."
"I know that look." at that moment I got the text that I was waiting for, "hold up." I mumble at Quinn before swiping the screen on my phone.

'Of course I'll help you get your girl back! We'll make a plan when you get back to UKT. xx Nina'

I replied a quick thanks and a plan to hang out when I get back before turning to Quinn who was looking at me like I had grown a second head.

"I have to get her back."


/ TADAAA! Thank you for joining me in this amazing, though short, journey! thanks to everyone who read, passed by, mis-clicked, loved, hated, favorited, reviewed and followed me and this story! /

/ Hope to see you guys in my next fic! :) /