I'm so listless. I feel cold and hollow. Why can't I feel anything better? It's so frustrating. Sometimes I even forget what frustration feels like, too.
I don't hang around the Ferris wheel anymore, and I don't balance on the roller coaster these days. It confuses me so much. Why aren't the attractions fun, like they used to be?
Maybe it's because my life is ending...maybe that's why everything has changed. My batteries won't keep me going for long. A few days is all I've got left. So why am I still here, at the amusement park?
Lately, all I've been doing is reading page after page after page of my pirate book. My mind flashes back to Seto sometimes while I'm reading. Especially when I get to the end. The pages are all so worn now, because my fingers won't stop trailing down them and running over the words.
The words of our promise keep ringing in my head. I keep hearing them, even when I cover my ears.
If there's no place for me left at the amusement park, if I can't find what I'm looking for there, then maybe the only place left for me to go is where the other end of my promise is.
I'll head out and find my way to Seto. Maybe I'll be able to help him somehow, before I have to leave.
I found Seto. But I didn't even get to help him. I guess I had less time than I thought...Why? Why does my chest feel like it's about to burst open? It hurts. But it feels like nothing I've ever felt before.
And why do I feel like I'm about to cry? Would I have been, had I been human? Would I have been able to do more for Seto, my first friend? So many different thoughts are rushing through my mind, each one gone faster than the last.
Seto looks so sad. He looks like he's going to cry too. I'll tell him to smile for me. And I'll smile back. Because when he smiles at me, I feel like I really am human.