Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer.
Summary: A grief-stricken Bella flees Forks to live with her father in Wyoming after her mother's tragic death and to escape from the betrayal of her step-father. In this beautiful, strange new environment Bella is given the chance for a better, happier life. But is she strong enough to overcome what she lost? And will she be able to resist the passion of a ruggedly handsome cowboy who could be the key to helping her heal? Follow Bella through her journey in her search for strength and with it, the beginnings of a whole new life.
A/N: For all my new readers who aren't aware, this is a revised version of Though My Eyes Could See, one of my very first fic's I wrote for the Twilight fandom. I hope you enjoy it! And as for the readers who have stuck with me since the very beginning, I hope you enjoy re-reading Bella and Jasper's little journey...and if you haven't yet, please check out my profile, it might answer some of your questions. As always, thanks for reading!
"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."
"Mom?" Bella whispered with a channel of tears trickling down her cheeks, "please, don't…don't leave me."
Clinging to her mother's life with the last of her strength, Bella laid her head on Renee's chest and closed her eyes, choking back an agonized sob.
"You said you would always be there for me. You said you would fight. I thought you were strong enough…you are strong enough! Please, don't leave me like this."
A faint sigh was whispered in her ear and with a start Bella lifted her head to stare down at her mother's frail, pale face. Renee's eyes were open now; a light shade of blue flickering listlessly in the dim light of the hospital room.
Hanging on to the ends of hope, Bella squeezed her mother's hand, smiled faintly, and whispered softly, "Mom?"
"Bella…" Renee blinked at her daughter lovingly, unfortunately it being the only gesture she could make. Bella had to lower her head in able to hear the words uttered from her mother's mouth, and even then it was a weaker attempt than before.
"I love you…stay strong."
Bella's eyes widened and as she turned her head to gaze into her mother's eyes never did she imagine it would be the last time. Her dark, chocolate brown eyes filled with fresh new tears as she watched Renee take her last breath of life and in that moment a chasm of grief rose inside her, causing her to cry out in anguish.
Pushing away from the bed, Bella pressed her back against the wall and stared down at Renee's lifeless body, her weak lips moving slowly to form the words, "You promised me you would fight. You promised." With fresh tears streaming down her face, Bella crossed her arms and sucked in a deep, shaky breath.
How can I stay strong now that you're gone?
Closing her eyes, Bella whipped around and began pounding the wall angrily with her fists.
How could you leave me? How?! This isn't how it was supposed to go! Damn you! Damn cancer!
After a few moments Bella stopped, her hands sliding against the wall as she started to sob.
With a gasp, Bella whirled around and stared across the room to meet the penetrating gaze of her step-father, Phil. He was looking at her solemnly, carrying a folded up piece of paper in his hands.
She shot him a glare and whispered brokenly, "She's dead…Renee's dead."
"I know," Phil murmured softly, taking a step forward, "I'm so sorry."
"No," Bella snapped, "you're not."
His eyes widened slightly, before clouding over with pain. "And why do you say that, Bella?"
Bella shook her head, wondering why he bothered asking her when he clearly already knew the answer. He wanted her to say it out loud, as if it wasn't already horrible enough!
"You're despicable," Bella growled angrily, striding towards him until they were face-to-face. Sticking her chin up, she stared at him and declared fiercely, "You know exactly what you've done you sick, lying bastard! If you had truly loved her all along she would've been strong enough to fight it!"
"Fight what?" Phil said quietly, "The sickness? Bella, those kinds of things can't be controlled. It was bound to hap-"
"No, it wasn't!" Bella exclaimed, glaring at him with a strong, deeply fueled hatred. "If you wouldn't have done it, she would have been happier. She would've fought harder. You pathetic, ignorant man! Do you even know what you did?" Before he had the chance to answer, she sucked in a short breath and cried, "You killed her!"
Phil's worn out and troubled face transformed into a blank mask of shock. Following that was a wave of outrage, and then lastly an expression so filled with sadness Bella had no choice but to glance away.
"I will never forgive you," she whispered firmly, clenching her hands tightly into fists. "You may have had a part in Renee's life, but you will never stand a chance in mine."
And with that said, Bella grabbed her jacket and keys off the chair beside the bed and strode past Phil, swiftly fleeing the room. She couldn't stop the sobs as they escaped her lips, making it difficult for her to breathe. Flinging open the door to one of the stairways, she took each step one at a time to avoid falling and possibly cracking her skull. All she wanted was to get the hell out of there.
By the time she was out of the hospital she headed towards her car in the parking lot, nearly running straight into the path of an oncoming car. It swerved, the screech of tires against the pavement resounding loudly in the air, but she didn't stop. Her heart was pounding heavily inside her chest and the slippery tears that cascaded down her face blinded her vision, leaving a drop of agony with each step she took.
A million thoughts flooded her mind, each one seeming to detect a place in every beating of her heart. After what felt like days, she finally managed to find her old red pick-up truck. With a shaky sigh of relief Bella unlocked the door and slipped inside, immediately resting her head against the back of the seat.
Finally…a place in which she could just let go.
Wrapping her trembling hands around the steering wheel, Bella closed her tear-filled eyes and let out several short, heart-broken sobs.
She's gone…actually gone. And with this in mind her whole body convulsed with grief and a single, dreadful thought floated to the surface.
How will I ever be the same again?
A/N: Expect another update next week. Since the fic is already completed, there is only the matter of editing (no alterations to the plot). I always appreciate reviews, so feel free to leave me your thoughts. Lastly, I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years! May 2013 bring you love, health and happiness. :)