TITLE: The Spyhole - Another Shower Scene

AUTHOR: Feli

EMAIL: feli.ca@web.de

CATEGORY: Humor

SEASON/SPOILERS: None

RATING: PG-13

SUMMARY: Jack, Daniel, a broken shower stall, a spyhole and Siler's wrench - what else do you need to know? g

STATUS: Complete

ARCHIVE: Heliopolis and Fanfiction.net, MajorClanger's site

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The situations and original story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story is the result of Riz and Satori challenging me to put Jack and Daniel, a broken shower stall, a spyhole and Siler's wrench in one fic.well, see what you've made me do...! g Huge thanks to my betas Kat and MC! They corrected all my grammar mistakes *and* ROFL-ed about the story. What else could a girl want...beside being in that storage room myself, of course...

"Hi, Janet," Sam greeted the petite doctor, "I'm here for my post-mission exam."

Janet nodded excitedly.

"Yes, I know. Come on, we have to go, I just finished with Daniel as the last of the men."

"What are you talking about?"

Janet grabbed Sam's uniform sleeve and dragged her out of the infirmary.

"Hurry or we're going to be late! I'll explain on the way."

They rushed through the hallways of the SGC until they reached a storage room that distinguished itself from the other storage rooms on base by absolutely nothing - or so Sam thought. Janet checked the corridor up and down before opening the door and bustling Sam into the room with her.

"Janet, what are we doing here?"

Janet smiled secretively and busied herself with putting away a couple of boxes that were piled up along one side of the room. When she had cleared them away, she pointed to a shiny rectangle in the wall. Motioning for Sam to come closer she said: "Look here!"

Sam leaned forward for a closer look and gasped.

"That's the locker room! I can see the showers! Janet?!"

The doctor giggled.

"It's one-way glass, looks just like an ordinary tile from the other side. Some of the Marines had it installed so they could finally get to see Daniel take a shower. Apparently he always waits till everyone else has left. But. unfortunately for them, SG-1 returned a day ahead of schedule, so you and I are the only ones. ."

Sam gaped at her friend in shock.

"I can't watch Daniel through this.this.."

"It's called a spyhole," Janet provided helpfully.

"Spyhole? This thing is larger than my TV at home! And besides, that's not the point!"

Janet grinned at her slyly.

"Would you protest so much if we were to see the colonel in there.?"

Blushing furiously Sam opened her mouth to protest but her brain just wouldn't form the words. Instead all the could croak was: "Is he.I mean, has he.?"

Janet winked at her. Drawing out two chairs, from behind a large shelf, she positioned them in front of the spyhole.

"You never know. So.want to stay and watch the show?"

------------------

Daniel dragged off his clothes tiredly and threw them in an untidy heap at the bottom of his locker. He grabbed his shampoo and shower gel and went into his usual stall, looking neither right nor left. Turning on the water, he tested the temperature with his fingers until he was satisfied, then stepped under the spray with a contented sigh. Closing his eyes he just stood there, letting the water cascade down his body.

"Uuh!" Janet triumphed, "this is so good! Sam, he's directly in front of us."

"I can see that," Sam retorted dryly. "In fact he's more in front of me than I ever wanted him to be.!"

"Oh, come on, you're just snarky because it's not your precious colonel!"

"He's not my colonel, he's my commanding officer," Sam corrected her friend primly.

"Yeah, sure," Janet agreed mockingly. "You know, I saw your *commanding officer* naked last week during his full physical... ."

Sam didn't let herself be baited.

"You've seen Daniel naked lots of times, too. So why are you drooling all over the floor here?"

Janet grinned.

"Because he never does *this* in the infirmary!"

*This*, of course, was Daniel shampooing his hair. He stood with his thighs spread lightly apart and his eyes closed, his biceps rippling enticingly with the movements of his hands.

"Funny, I never knew that men actually do wash their hair in this ecstatic- Cowboy manner. I always thought it was a trick of the advertising industry to make women buy the shampoo for their pale, beer-belly-fat husbands," Sam remarked conversationally.

"Huuumm," was Janet's only response as she watched Daniel reach for the shower gel.

------------------

Daniel was in heaven. Finally alone and finally with the chance to wash the grime and mud of the last few days off. He dolloped a fair amount of gel onto his hand and began lathering himself. Arms, chest and back; he closed his eyes again as he took some time to massage the cramped muscles in his neck. He was so lost in his innocent pleasure that he didn't even notice the tall, lean figure that passed behind him to enter the shower stall to his left.

The women, however, did notice. Janet squealed with delight when she saw Colonel O'Neill walk past the archeologist. Turning to her crimson-faced friend she laughed.

"Too bad they hung that curtain so high or we could have seen both of them."

When Sam was able to breathe again, she gave the offending curtain a close inspection.

"Why is there a curtain anyway instead of the usual partition between the stalls?"

Janet rolled her eyes.

"Something to do with Sgt. Siler and his favorite wrench. Don't ask me the details, it's been hushed up. They had to take down the entire partition, and until it can be replaced they hung up this curtain."

In the meantime Daniel had proceeded to soap up his legs as well, so that only one part of his anatomy remained yet untended. Janet fanned herself nervously in anticipation and even Sam felt herself get into the spirit of things more and more.

Daniel squirted another measure of gel into his right hand and put the bottle back onto the small shelve. In the storage room breathless silence reigned.

As Daniel lowered his head to look down along his body, shampoo trickled into his eyes, making him squeeze them shut. Blindly he took a step forward under the spray fumbling for the wall with outstretched arms. Inadvertently his hand hit the temperature control, turning the water to 'glacier-cold'.

Daniel yelped and jumped back, hitting his head on the shower head.

"Ouch!" he cried. Almost completely losing his balance, he reached out blindly for support. Yet, instead of a solid partition his hand only gripped the curtain. With a pathetic 'whoosh' the rings gave way, leaving nothing to break Daniel's fall - except one very thunderstruck Air Force Colonel.

Jack's indignant "What the hell?" was cut off before it reached his lips, as a soapy mass of archeologist crashed squarely into him. Thanks to the wet, slippery floor Jack didn't stand a chance of holding them both upright and they tumbled to the floor in an undignified heap. Daniel even managed to spread the last remnants of the gel in his hand over Jack's mouth and nose. Havoc ensued.

Meanwhile in the storage room open-mouthed shock had given way to squeals of laughter. Tears streamed down Janet's face, and Sam held her sides in a death grip, so much did they hurt from laughing. Guffawing loudly, they watched the two men struggle with each other and the adverse elements around them.

Even though they were accompanied by the most inventive curses life in the Air Force had taught Jack O'Neill, all attempts at getting up were thwarted by the wet floor and the equally slippery archeologist over, under and around him. For a moment they actually managed to reach a standstill with Jack on his back and Daniel sprawled on top of him. But immediately Jack began struggling again, more frantically than before.

"Daniel! Get your...DANIEL! For god's sake, get your...gnnnhhh...off my face, will ya!?"

Daniel tried to sit up but slipped again, quite literally shoving that inexpressible part of his anatomy in Jack's face once more.

Laughter shook Sam and Janet so uncontrollably they had to hug each other for support. Their chairs had toppled over when they both jumped up at the same time, and now they just stood, desperately panting for breath.

Daniel finally managed to scramble into a sitting position. At the sight of Jack, lying naked on the floor of the shower and glaring up at him with foam around his mouth, Daniel had to laugh.

"My gnnnhhh? What's the matter, Jack? Afraid to call a spade a spade?" he spluttered.

Jack dragged himself off the floor. Directing his glare briefly towards the body parts in discussion he threatened:

"If you pull a stunt like this again I'll tell you exactly what you can do with your.."

"Gnnnhhh," Daniel provided helpfully, bubbling with mirth.

This last turn of events proved to be too much for the women. They fairly screamed with laughter. Drying the tears in her eyes with her sleeve Sam took a step back and fell over the toppled chairs. Seeing her friend lying on the floor Janet's laughter turned into a high-pitched squeak.

Just as Jack was beginning to see the humor in their situation he and Daniel heard squealing laughter and something crashing to the ground. The two men stared at each other in stunned shock.

Jack reacted first, racing towards the locker area with a curse on his lips.

"Jack!" Daniel called after him. "Don't you want to get dressed first...?"

With another curse Jack snatched a towel off the rack and wound it around his waist, thus complying with the most minimal standard of decent clothing rules.

However, years of military training had already kicked in with Sam as well. By the time Jack had gotten *dressed* and was out the door he found an innocent looking major and a serious looking doctor walking down the corridor towards him, apparently deep in conversation.

"Carter!" he called her.

"Yes, Sir?" Sam directed politely questioning eyes towards him, a raised eyebrow à la Teal'c her only comment on his wet appearance. Janet, on the other hand, couldn't keep herself from snickering; not even letting the colonel's withering glare deter her.

"So, Colonel O'Neill...what happened to you?"

Jack waved dismissively in the direction of the locker room, mumbling something unintelligibly. Faced with the women's increasingly reproachful stare he felt himself blushing - a blush that quite obviously spread out over his body right down to his toes. Before the twitching of Sam's lips could turn into outright laughter, he gathered himself and asked in the most authoritative voice he could muster:

"Have you seen anybody coming out of this storage room?"

Sam pointed to the storage room in question.

"Do you mean this storage room here, sir?"

"Yes, Major. *This* storage room," Jack answered impatiently.

"No, Sir. We didn't see anybody in this hallway...except you."

Jack sighed.

"Good. Thank you." He turned towards the storage room, leaving Sam and Janet behind to make good their escape. They did so, once more breaking out in gloating laughter when they were out of earshot.

------------------

As soon as Daniel had gotten hurriedly dressed, he went in search of Jack. He found him in the storage room, two toppled over chairs explaining part of the noise they had heard earlier.

"Look at this!" Jack indicated the spyhole.

Daniel gaped.

"Oh my god, Jack, I can see my shower stall. And yours, too!"

Jack nodded grimly.

"Someone was watching us?" Daniel asked incredulously.

Jack nodded again.

"Someone was watching *you*, Daniel! If you hadn't crashed the place no one would have seen me behind the curtain."

"Huuuuhh... ." Daniel gasped for air.

"Who, Daniel, who! And I can tell you who. Look what else I found."

Jack held up a small, shiny round object. Daniel squinted at it.

"That's a button from a uniform sleeve. Duh, more than half the base runs around in uniforms, Jack."

"Yes. But not all of these people are missing a button on their uniform." Jack paused for effect. "Unlike our own Major Carter who I happened to run into *right outside* this room, mere seconds after the incident!! Together with our favorite napoleonic power-monger, by the way!"

Daniel paled.

"Sam and Janet? But why? How?"

"I don't know. But I intend to find out right now," Jack announced.

"Hmm, wait a minute, Jack." Daniel took the innocent looking button from Jack. Weighing it in his hand, he looked at Jack with a mean, unholy gleam in his eyes.

"I don't know, Jack. Maybe we shouldn't tip them off just yet. ."

Jack's anger swiftly turned into beaming agreement. Throwing an arm around Daniel's shoulder he directed them towards the door, proudly exclaiming: "That's my boy.!"



FIN

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