Author's Note: I just had to do it, since it doesn't look like anyone else is going to do it. This story will start off very similar to Second Chance but will go down a completely different route. If you're a Bensidy fan, though, do check out Second Chance. It's a little darker than this story, though. This story is taken from the view that it was Brian's hand we saw in Presumed Guilty. I truly do believe (and pray) the hand belongs to Brian Cassidy.

WARNING: This is my very first attempt at a Mature story, so bear with me as I ease into it.

His Hand

Her eyes closed as she savored the moment, still in disbelief that she was actually kissing him. Their lips pressed together, and she felt him kissing back. His lips were chapped and dry from the medication. She licked his lips with her tongue, attempting to wet them for him. When she released her lips from his and gazed into his brown eyes, he whispered, "That was nice."

"Just nice?" Olivia said, blushing with a smile on her face.

"Okay, maybe more a little more than nice. Can you do it again?" He smiled at her with hopeful eyes. She laughed, and she bent over him again and kissed his forehead, his cheek, and finally his lips again.

"Are you happy now?" she asked with a laugh.

"Oh, you have no idea. I've only dreamt of this moment for twelve years. Except the conditions were a little…nicer…for example, I wasn't in a hospital bed…"

She grinned, admiring his humor for the situation.

"You know, Brian," she said, gently grabbing one of his hands with both of hers. She kissed it, and continued, "I meant what I said. I'm not the same person I was twelve years ago. I was so naïve and selfish back then. To be honest, I hate who I was back then."

"Why's that?" Brian asked her, raising an eyebrow and stroking her right palm.

"I shouldn't have led you on…" Olivia trailed off, not sure how to explain herself. Because that's exactly what she'd done. She'd used him for her own sexual gratification. That night had gone against everything she believed in. Afterward, she'd felt so guilty about breaking her personal rule of sleeping with coworkers. She'd tried so hard to pretend it hadn't happened, so she told herself that it meant nothing.

"Damn right, you shouldn't have," Brian murmured and added, "But I've forgiven you. I figure….if we were meant to be, and then we would be…"

"If I hadn't been so focused on following the rules at the time, who knows what we could have been…" Olivia murmured. "Brian, I'm not a goodie-two-shoe anymore. I was a rookie then, and all I cared about was keeping my job. I'm not like that anymore. This job has been all I've had for years, but sometimes I wish I had something more…"

"Like what, Liv?" Brian asked.

"Like…I don't know…a family," Olivia answered. "Fuck, I'm almost forty-five years old, and what do I have to show for myself? I've taken hundreds of pedophiles off the street. What're they going to put on my tombstone: 'Bad-Ass Benson'?"

"Well, you are bad-ass," Brian said with a chuckle. Olivia raised an eyebrow. "But I get where you're coming from. I feel the same way…I just wasted three years of my life undercover. It's no wonder I…" He didn't finish, but Olivia knew where he was going. It's no wonder I started banging Carissa. She didn't care to know the details about that. She felt her heart racing with jealousy toward Carissa.

The room was silent for the following moments. Olivia gazed into Brian's eyes and kissed him again. "So, you and me…?" she whispered in his ear. "Do we want to really do this?"

"Liv, do you have to ask me?" Brian asked. "I told you. I've wanted it for twelve years. It's you who didn't want me…"

"Don't make me feel worse than I already do," Olivia said, frowning. "How can I ever make those twelve years up to you?" She kissed his forehead.

"Well…" Brian's lips formed a girlish smile. "I have an idea, but I don't think you're going to be able to do it in the hospital…ask me that question again once I've been released."

"Uh-oh," she giggled, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "Something tells me that I'm going to enjoy making up those years to you…" She patted his head and kissed him again.

"That's the plan," Brian said. "But you know we still have one problem…"

"What's that?"

"Your partner pointed a gun to my head, Olivia. I don't want to imagine what he'd do if he knew that you and I were…together…God, you have no idea how much I like the sound of that word."

She laughed. "You're right, Nick doesn't exactly like you. Perhaps we should keep this…you and me…a secret for now?"

"I like that idea. If it means saving a bullet from entering my skull, let's do it. Plus, it will be fun…sneaking around…" His smiled mischievously.

"Fun, indeed," Olivia responded, slightly unsure of how fun it would actually be. She remembered several months ago when she and David had attempted a secretive relationship. Obviously, it hadn't lasted, and people had found out eventually. However, Brian wasn't David. For one, he wasn't a conflict of interest. They didn't work together, and he didn't oversee her cases, so there were no laws saying they couldn't date. "But you know eventually people are going to find out. Nothing stays a secret forever…"

"And we'll cross that bridge when we have to, but for now let's just savor us…no one else needs to be part of us," Brian said with a twinkle in his eye. "For now, let's be NYPD's best kept secret."

"You're right," she smiled, kissing his hand. "Here's to us."


The doctors had finally released Brian from the hospital. They'd kept him longer than anticipated because due to the severity of his wounds. He'd also suffered from internal bleeding. During his hospital stay, he had begun physical therapy. Olivia had managed to sneak a visit to the hospital every day. Surprisingly, no one in the squad, particularly Nick, seemed suspicious. She ensured to visit Brian in the morning before going into the station, that way she didn't have to slip away during the day. One day, she'd almost lost track of time and had been late to work. No one said anything, though.

Luckily, Brian was being released on a Saturday, which was her day off anyway. She was hoping not to get receive any unexpected calls. The worst part of her job was she was on call, even on her days off. She'd known what she was getting into when she signed up, and normally she didn't care. Of course, her job had been her life for so many years.

She wheeled Brian out to her car. Normally her car was stationed in a parking garage. She didn't drive it often, but she decided today was a special occasion. Brian was being released from the hospital, and her driving would be easier than waiting for a cab to pick them up at the hospital.

"Well, where should we go?" she looked at Brian in the passenger's seat. She reached out and grabbed his hand, and their lips met. Kissing Brian was never going to get old, Olivia had decided. There was something about his lips.

"Well, I moved all my stuff to my mom's when I went undercover. I don't really have a place of my own…"

"Then my place it is," Olivia laughed, holding onto his hand with her right hand and driving with her left hand.

When they arrived at her apartment, Olivia insisted she open the door for Brian. She helped him out of the vehicle. She could tell that he was still very sore. She gripped onto his arm as they made their way to her apartment. When they were inside, she faced him, and he was laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked.

"The way you were gripping onto me as we were coming in…I didn't want to say anything because I was enjoying it too much, but I'm not crippled, Liv. I can walk for myself. My chest is sore, but my legs and arms function just fine…"

"Oh," Olivia blushed, wrapping her arms around his neck, trying not to squeeze him too tightly. "I just wanted to be sure you were all right." She pecked him on the lips.

"Ow!" he scowled, and she jetted off him as fast as she could.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried in a panic. "Are you okay?" She could see the pain in his face.

"Yeah, fine…I've got a high pain tolerance level."

Olivia smiled, giggling. "Sure you do, considering you just screamed like a girl."

"Oh, hush you," Brian laughed and wrapped his arms around her. She could tell he was favoring his right side as he hugged her. "Do you have any movies? That sounds like something safe we could do and still cuddle."

"I think I have a few. Have you seen Devil?"

He let go of her and appeared curious. "No, I don't think I have. What's it about?"

"Well, it's about some people stuck in an elevator. I think you'll like it."

"I wouldn't mind being stuck in an elevator…as long as I'm with you," Brian insisted.

"I don't think you want to be stuck in this elevator," Olivia said, laughing. She walked to her television and pulled the movie out of her drawer. She turned on the television and put the movie in the DVD player. In the meantime, Brian sat down on the couch. Olivia grabbed the remote and joined him. She sat on his left side, the side he wasn't injured, and he wrapped his arm around her. She leaned his head into his shoulder and pressed pray.

The started to play, and Olivia placed her hand on Brian's leg. He gazed toward her and whispered, "You're so beautiful."

"Thanks," she said. "You're not bad looking yourself, considering the circumstances. But you're going to miss the movie if you're looking at me."

"What's wrong with that?" Brian smiled, kissing her. Their tongues intertwined as they explored each other's mouths. She licked her tongue against his teeth, and he gently nibbled on her lip. She noticed her heart pace start to quicken, and her hand landed on his waist. Her hand traveled down his leg and that's when she felt his boner.

His hands ran down her stomach and underneath her shirt. The touch of his hands sent tingling sensations all over her body. As his hand edged closer to her sensitive body part, she found herself losing control. The blood gushed through her veins faster, and her body was throbbing for more.

Soon his hand entered her pants, and her body twitched. He rubbed his hand gently against her clitoris, and the tension soared throughout her body.

"Oh, Brian," she moaned.

"If you want to watch the movie, I'll stop," he whispered seductively.

"No, don't stop," she begged, and he rubbed her clitoris faster. Her butt and legs tensed, and then he moved to enter her with his two fingers.

"Damn, Liv, you're so wet…and we're not even naked."

"Fuck, Brian, you just turn me on so much…"

He pulled out of her and began to unbutton her pants, and the movie was long forgotten…