What's up my fellow peeps. Guess who updated this random ass story; I did. Yeah smiles and stuff. Peoples are usual get ready for some cracky randomness and stuff. Yup, I do't know what to say besides thank you to those that have stuck by me. And Percy and Nico should finally meet up in the next chapter. Warnings for bad language, and the fact that I did a very rough edit so I apologize for any and all mistakes and also the usual shit that happens.
Apollo's Fairytale: Om Nom Nom Nom
One scene change later Nico found himself in a huge throne room not unlike the one in the Underworld. He tilted his head to the side, he even spied the same fireplace. You know the one that sprouted wicked cool blue-black flames and made noises like: GAHHHH! The pain, someone help me, ackkk! I'm being eviscerated with a rusty spoon! Ah, music to his ears.
Finally, our Prince had stumbled into the throne room with a fucked out expression. His pjs pants had been ripped off. His boxers hanging on his ass by mere threads. King Hades and Queen Persephone weren't amused. Not that Nico cared; he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
King Hades. Queen Persephone. His Dad and Stepmother were here with him? Nico glanced from the fireplace toward the many, many rows of stone steps, the quacking court jester, and finally — his father, Persephone, Bianca, and Hazel. They were all on ornately throne chairs, glaring at him. Well. Hazel wasn't. She was waving and giving him smiles. Persephone was filling her nails. Bianca was sticking her tongue out. Really, it was Hades that was glaring at him.
The ruler dark realm of the land, Hades, was a King of utter fairness. He was sexy. Sexier than Nico. Dark and brooding too.
What does that have do with anything? Aphrodite said, eyeing Apollo oddly.
Nothing, but I felt like it needed to be said. Hades is sexy, so very sexy. With a voice like Batman. All throaty, low, and dark, like liquid sex!
"Gasp!" gasped Nico. No one was sexier than him especially not his father. He didn't even come close.
"Nico, what are you gasping about?" Hades boomed in aforementioned dark and throaty voice.
"Nothing father," Nico said. "It was just I heard something so preposterous that I had to gasp."
"Well," Hades knitted his fingers together. "Cease your infernal gasping—"
"I only gasped once," Nico appealed.
"Don't talk back to the King, your father, you ungrateful little whelp," Persephone snapped, filing away at her talons.
Joy. His lady stepmother had still kept her winning personality toward him in this world.
Persephone was the most beautiful lady in the lands. Second to our fair princess. She was said to be the most kind of any ladies that sat upon the thrones. Yes, she treated all her husband's children like one of her own. Loving and doting always.
"Bullshit!" Nico snorted. "She turned me into a flower, TWICE!"
Rarely when she did she punish people. When she did, it was always for a good and honest reason.
"She turned me into a flower for breathing and being born!" Nico shrieked.
Like I said, for a good and honest reason.
Ohoho. If Nico had any sleeves they would be pushed up past the elbow to show he meant serious business. That damn voice. Why, the owner better hope that he never found out who it was because Nico di Angelo was not the demigod to mess with. He glared menacingly at the ceiling just to prove his point.
"Nico, stop glaring at the ceiling, it's never done anything to you!" Hades demanded.
"Now see here, boy, I don't know where you get off thinking you could speak back to your King! You are nothing but lowly prince!" Persephone rebuked.
"Persephone," Nico tried. He was so not in the mood for this today… or really any day.
"Queen Persephone, your lady mother,"
"More like my lady bitch who won't hop off my dick," Nico muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Persephone screeched, her spring-green nail file froze and finally did she deign him worthy enough for her venomous glare.
"You heard me you cantankerous cu—"
"Nico!" Bianca shouted. "This is a children's story, hold your tongue."
Nico's pink lip jutted out, but he listened nonetheless. He sent one last scalding glare to his dear stepmother, which she returned. He'd never admit but it was slightly better than his, he figured it was a side-effect to being married to his father.
Soo, while, our prince was being his usual dicky-self, Hades told his derelict of a son that he was attending a ball. A ball that had been planned for years. The most awesome ball in existence. It was the ball of the centuries. Like, if you missed it by some off chance that you had an evil stepmother and sisters, your fairy godmother wouldn't come to your rescue because she'd be at that ball. It was just that important. It was utterly imperative that a person attend because that would be a stain on their rep for years, years, and years—
"I get it, The Ball is important!" Nico exploded. He threw his hands up in the air. "Gawd."
"Fantastic!" cried Hazel. "He finally gets it, Father!"
"Get what?" Nico said, confused.
"You are expected to go to this ball and meet Princess Percy, exchange a few pleasantries and then, you'll be getting married in a week," Hades said calmly.
The greatest honor to be bestowed our undeserving prince. He was shocked into stunned silence.
Shocked he was. Silent he was not. "I'm only fifteen," he squeaked.
"Seventeen," Bianca stated blandly. "Try not to drink so much Firewhiskey in the morning, brother. It kills off the memory and braincells."
"The point is," Nico emphasized. "I can't get married. I'm too young."
"Nonsense," Hades said. "Your mother was thirteen when I married her."
"Cradle-robber," Bianca and Hazel said in stunning unison. Nico couldn't help but agree with them.
"It matters not," Hades brushed them off. "You're getting married and that's final. I grow tired of these awkward talks, go get dressed." Hades waved Nico off.
Nico tilted his head. Wha?
Hazel took pity on him, she hopped up from her golden throne. "Come, brother, we go to the tailor's!"
Oh dear uncle above. Nico resigned to his fate. He hurried after his younger sister. This world was several types of crazy. He sorta hoped he'd get out of his soon. He was kinda afraid of ending up in here for the rest of eternity, crazy and stuff, with out of character personalities and utter randomness. It was almost like he was some sort of book character used as a puppet for some sort of evil overlording person's amusement.
"Smile Nico!" Hazel suggested.
He blinked at her in surprise. He didn't realize he had fallen into step with her. She linked her arm with his. "Smile, dear brother mine, you're meeting the princess of your dreams tonight. He's bound to fall for you if you smile."
Nico tried. Hazel giggled, patting him. " Good. Now, let's try smiling without looking constipated."
Another scene change later…
"What seems to be the problem?"
"Huh?!" Percy squawked. He scrambled away from the heavily bearded man in front of him. He almost twisted an ankle for that, he forgot he was wearing heels. "You're not Dr. McDreamy!"
The not Dr. McDreamy scribbled on his clipboard. "That's right, I'm his son, Doctor."
"I know that, doctor who?"
"I'm just the called the Doctor—"
"OK, smartypants, I'm getting real tired of your bullshit. I'll ask you once more—"
"Princess!" Annabeth slapped the back of his head. Hard. "He's just called the Doctor! He has no title afterwards, we don't know his name, we refer to him simply as the Doctor. Get it?"
"Yes," Percy said petulantly. He crossed his arms, the old geezer should of said so earlier, it would of saved him a lot of trouble. And did Annabeth have to hit so hard…
"Percy, what seems to be the problem?" Doctor repeated lightly.
Percy sighed loudly. Like there were so many problems at the moment. He couldn't possibly pick out a single one to hone in on, it would be like ignoring all his other problems, and hey -wait a gosh darn moment: "Where did Dr. McDreamy go? He was in here a couple of seconds ago."
The Doctor blinked at him. Bushy caterpillar eyebrows rose. "My father wasn't here, I've been here the whole time."
Percy didn't believe a word of it.
"Look buddy, I may be absentminded sometimes. but I'm pretty positive that Dr. McDreamy was here and he looked a lot like Ap— are those blue cupcakes?"
Percy's focus shifted to the plate of a dozen cupcakes suddenly appearing in Doctor's hands. His eyes began to sparkle like a thousand newly shined diamonds. They were beautiful, the cupcakes; the rounded cakes were a dark blue topped with Tiffany blue icing swirled on the top and sparkly blue sprinkles artfully thrown into the mix. And what was that? Blue Kool-Aid in a cup as well~! He wanted so bad. So, so, so bad.
Percy licked his lips. "C-can I have one (by one, he meant the entire thing)?" he asked in his most polite voice.
The Doctor benignly smiled at him. "Anything for you princess." He handed the plate over to Percy and Percy squealed in unbridled glee. Then, he proceeded to demolish the cupcakes because he hadn't eaten since who-knows-when and they were blue cupcakes. Like his favorite food ever.
Our Princess was given a treat for all her troubles and was written off with a clean bill of health. It was now time for the ball.
Annabeth jumped up as did the Doctor. They shook hands and exchanged quick pleasantries before Annabeth pulled on Percy's arm. "We've wasted loads of time, Princess Seaweed. It's time to get dressed."
The Princess gave her faithful servant a look off fear as they dashed off in search of the royal tailor. The Ball was so close and he still wasn't ready, he only hoped that everything would come together for his perfect night.
Percy enraptured with his cupcakes only nodded absently. He was pulled along by Annabeth's insistent grip. The cupcakes were the bomb-diggity, dammit, he should of asked for the recipe to share with the others. Om nom nom nom, he bit into the fluff… Gods, this was heaven…