Note: This was supposed to be the prologue of one of my long stories but it got too deep. Hence I'm posting it here as a one-shot. It's based on the poem about abortion very common around profiles and the net but has nothing to do with that, as you will see. Yet it's still very sad.
Mommy, I am very small, but I'm starting to understand things. Here is warm and nice, and so close to you. Thank you mommy. I can't do anything yet and it makes me anxious. I love the sound of your voice. Every time you sing I try to wave my arms and legs. Your heartbeat is my favorite lullaby.
Something funny happened today, mommy. I stretched my legs and guess what? I found someone else here, with me. I'm so happy! We are both small but we like the same things. Like your heartbeat and your songs. Do you know you are singing for two?
You know what mommy? I'm a boy! The other one is a boy too! I hope that makes you happy. We always want you to be happy. We don't like it when you cry, mommy. Make us want to cry too.
We are always touching now mommy. I stretch my arm and he kicks me. But don't worry, we won't hurt each other. I guess it's just getting a little tight here. Sorry. I love when we hold hands. It's hard, we can't see yet, but it's so nice. Will you hold our hands too mommy?
We met a woman today. It was the first time and it got us a little confused. Her voice is nice tough, almost as nice as yours mommy. We felt her touch near us, that was nice too. I tried to kick, tell her we are here, that we liked her. She seemed happier after that.
There's a man here today. I'm a little scared, he seems angry. You don't like it either, we can tell. The other holds my hand tight. It's nice but not enough. I like the woman much better. She sang to us and I hope she's there when we come out. Mommy why don't you sing anymore?
We can hear that man again and feel your touch really close to us. We want to touch you too, mommy, to make you smile and sing. It's been so long since you sang for us. But we can't go out, not yet. Sorry mommy. Please don't cry.
We are so big now mommy! And here is really tight! The kicks started to hurt so we try not to do it anymore. I don't want to hurt the other and he doesn't wants to hurts me either. We still hold hands tough. No harm done with that. Something is going to happen soon we can feel it. But the man still scares me.
Mommy, what's divorce?
We are coming out! I'm sorry if it hurts but I'm so happy! I will see you and the other! He is happy too, I can tell by the way he moves his arms around me. Someone says 'push'. I don't know what it means but it makes everything tremble and squeeze. It's hard, there isn't much space left. I go first but I'm not scared. I know I will see you two soon.
I…I don't understand. I'm here and I know he is out too! So where is he? Where is the other that held my hand? I move my eyes but there is no one. Just big blurs in white. Mommy! Mommy! Help! I can't find him!
Mommy comes. Her arms are big and nice but so empty. I'm sure the other should be here too so why? I feel something hitting my face. Mommy is crying now. I cry too.
Mommy, why am I alone?