A/N: Hey again...so after over six months, I FINALLY managed to update this...hope you like it :) So I've had loooads of requests recently, and I promise that I WILL do them all! If you want me to do your request, either leave it in a review or PM me! :) Also, MASSIVE thankyou to everyone who's reviewed as this story has now hit 100 reviews! YAY! :):):)

Chapter Twenty Two: No one knows the future like our Alice...


22. Fortune Cookies

Alice was annoyed.

Whilst her family didn't eat human food, they seemed to have a fascination with the little fortune cookies that came with Chinese take out. Maybe it was because Alice herself refused to tell them their futures, or maybe it was because they saw how much it annoyed Alice. The reason it annoyed Alice was that they were always wrong.

Being able to see the future, she found it highly irritating when these little scraps of paper told her family fake and incorrect futures.

"What does yours say?" Rosalie asked, trying to read over Emmett's shoulder.

"It says I'm going to get laid tonight." He said, his face totally serious.

"No it doesn't." Rosalie said, hitting his shoulder, "Tell me what it really says!"

"'Soon your life will become more interesting'." Emmett read aloud.

Sure, Alice thought, If you count absolutely nothing changing as interesting.

"Read yours." Emmett told Rosalie.

"'Now is the time to pursue your new love interest'." Rosalie read. She grinned at Emmett, who was glaring at the floor, "Sorry, babe."

Edward opened his cookie, handing it to Bella to eat as he read his fortune, "'You will get new clothes'. I think I must have Alice's."

He winked at Alice, but she just glared back. The whole thing to her was absurd! The rest of her family received equally ridiculous and wrong fortunes, whilst Alice just watched on with a frown on her face.

"Open yours, Alice." Bella said.

Alice shook her head, "No way."

"Come on, Ali, it's just a bit of fun." Jasper said, pulling her close to him. She rolled her eyes; whilst she hated the concept of fortune cookies, she'd always do what Jasper asked her to.

"Fine." She said, breaking the cookie open and pulling out her fortune. "'Every wise man started out by asking many questions'. That's not even a fortune! It's just a stupid statement!"

The Cullen's rolled their eyes as Alice stood up and stormed up to her bedroom, leaving her fortune behind.

"I don't get why she gets so annoyed." Bella commented.

"She's annoyed that they aren't true." Edward said.

"Wouldn't it be cool if there were real fortunes inside?" Emmett said, collecting a murmur of agreement from the family around him.

Upstairs, listening to the conversation downstairs, Alice had an idea.

~o.O.o~

The Cullens had watched in amusement as Alice had looked up a recipe for fortune cookies and started baking. She'd gone down to Rosalie and Emmett's house to write the fortunes, so that Edward wouldn't be tempted to read her mind. Now, four failed batches of cookies later, she put a plate in the centre of the table and stood back.

She'd already foreseen who would take which cookie, and so had known where to place each one. Sure enough, each member of her family took their correct cookie and broke it open to read their fortunes.

Emmett's read; You'll win the bet against Edward.

He grinned, thinking of the bet he'd made earlier that day. He'd bet that Edward couldn't go a whole day without doing something to protect Bella, and Edward had decided to take up the bet. Emmett's grin grew bigger as he thought about the large sum of money that was at stake.

Rosalie's fortune was; Check out the scrapyard just north of Portland, you're going to find an awesome old classic car there...it will be one hundred times more awesome when you're finished with it.

Rosalie smiled at Alice as her mind wondered, thinking of which car it could be...a '66 Mustang perhaps? A Mercedes 450 maybe? Her brain was already thinking of all the ways she could do up the cars and make them run smoothly again so she could be the envy of everyone when she pulled up to school in her renovated...Jaguar XKE? Oh how she longed for it to be a Jaguar.

Edward opened his cookie next and read the words printed on the paper; Don't punch Eric Yorkie tomorrow...he isn't actually staring at Bella longingly...and when he thinks "I wish I could just eat that up" he's actually referring to the bacon sandwich on the counter behind her...Bella will get super mad if you hit him...

Edward looks at Alice and rolls his eyes, but she knows he's grateful for the warning. He hated making Bella mad...and he couldn't imagine it being easy explaining why he punched Eric, other than "I heard his thoughts". He folded up the note as Bella leaned over to read it and she huffed and rolled her eyes, picking up her own fortune.

It read; Don't bother studying for that math test on Friday, Edward's taking you away on a surprise trip to New York. Don't tell him I told you an act...surprised ;)

Bella rolled her eyes in Edward's general direction and screwed the note into a ball in her hand. A surprise trip to New York? It was a ridiculous idea. Secretly, she was looking forward to it, and Alice knew it.

Esme opened her fortune cookie next; If you value the glass table in the dining room you'll move it somewhere safe before you and Carlisle go on your trip next week...SOMEONE is going to throw SOMEONE ELSE straight through it.

Esme looked straight at Emmett and Jasper with a disapproving look, and Alice wondered whether she'd been discreet enough with her 'SOMEONE's.

Carlisle went next. His cookie said; You'll get the promotion.

Carlisle beamed at his daughter. He loved his work, and he'd been wanting this promotion for months. Now, it seemed, he was going to get it. The only person left to read their fortune was Jasper.

He opened his cookie and frowned, reading the delicate script of his wife; Wait and see.

"That hardly seems fair, Darlin'." Jasper said, pulling her into his arms, "Everyone else got to see their future."

Alice just giggled and repeated what the slip of paper said.

~o.O.o~

Later that day, Alice found Jasper sprawled out across their bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Hey, cowboy."

Jasper glanced up and looked over Alice's choice of outfit with a smirk...she wasn't wearing a lot. "Hi, Darlin'."

She perched on the edge of the bed and leant down to whisper into Jasper's ear. She described in great detail what was going to happen in the very near future. His mouth twitched with the smirk he was trying to conceal. Alice smirked right back at him. "What do you say?"

He didn't have to say anything.


A/N: Little bit of heat there at the end ;) Sorry I took sooooo long to update this again, but did you like it?

I want to dedicate this one-shot to my best friend Jalice2254, who kinda unknowingly gave me the idea for this one-shot when she messaged me about the fortune in her fortune cookie...so thanks for everything Pixie ;)

Over Christmas I wrote a fic called 12 Days Of Christmas - it's twelve Alice and Jasper one shots with a Christmassy theme. Go and check it out and leave a review to let me know what you think? ;)

Like I said at the top, I've had lots of requests for different one-shots and I promise I'll get round to doing each and every one of them! Sorry it's taking a while :/