Hey guys sorry this update is freakishly late, I've been super busy with my final exams. I'll probably be updating more frequently now that my tests are over


Miranda didn't like trusting people, she never had and she most likely never will, so when Commander Shepard came along bright eyed and determined, kind and courageous she was a little bit taken aback. She had expected the incomparable finesse on the battle field and the sharp minded, quick tongue but she hadn't expected the Commander to be so kind.

Now she wasn't saying she was a sugar coated, syrup dripping sap of a woman, no, she was more like the rough, scratched and bandaged hands that always catch you when you fall.

Sometimes the Commander would just come down to her quarters just to chat, she'd ask Miranda her opinion on things and gently ask about her experiences and hardships. The whole situation made Miranda very uncomfortable, she kept her tongue gauged and cautious. She wasn't completely sure if she even fully trusted the Commander, but then again she never really trusted anyone anyway. For the longest time that's how she thought she liked it, distant, strong and unshakeable but she was quickly learning that it wasn't the best thing in the world.

Often times she could hear the Commander and Garrus laughing in the mess, the clink and clatter of plates as they shared a meal, revelling over past missions and joking companionably with one another. She wondered what they would say if she asked to join them. They would probably stare at her, jaws dropped, forks clattering on their plates in shock. The Ice Queen wanted to mingle, what a joke.

But even as Miranda silently mocked herself for even thinking such a thing that lonely twinge in her gut still rang deep and true.

Miranda shifted in her chair, pulling her hands back from her key board, the words on the screen in front of her blurring and jumping. She shook her head tiredly, her whole life trust was what had made her weak, the people and friends around her that she loved weak. It had bound her for the longest time in thick red tape, tying her to her father before she couldn't stand it any longer and broke free. Miranda's blue eyes shifted over to the wall connecting to the mess, the familiar chuckle of the Commander wafting through the walls. But with the Commander is seemed trust is what made her strong. Her trust in Jack; believing that she wanted nothing more than what Cerberus had on her, completely believing she wouldn't stake claim on top secret information. Her undoubted trust in Mordin, never doubting for a moment that his countermeasure wouldn't work.

She also dedicated herself to helping the people around her in any way she could. When most would see it as an inconvenience, Miranda knew it was those missions exactly that brought such a genuine smile to her face.

Shepard puzzled her, she wasn't what she had imagined her to be and she often found herself being fully surprised at many of the things the Commander did. The Illusive Man had told her next to nothing about the Commander, personality wise, Miranda was obviously quite aware of her accomplishments. Many times during the two years of her rehabilitation she found herself imagining what she would be like when she finally opened her eyes. Would she be tactful and harsh? Ruthless and tough?And out of all the endless amount of effort and thought she put into Shepard's outcome she never imagined the one she'd get.

Miranda smiled to herself wistfully, the rumbling boorish laughter from the mess growing louder, she would not say she was disappointed. In fact, it may sound cliche and stupid, but she wouldn't want Shepard any other way.

A loud clatter of plates from the other room made Miranda jump in her chair, eyes trained on the shared wall. It didn't seem like such a big deal, walking out there and sharing friendly conversation with her fellow crew mates but the thought made a thin line of perspiration break out above her lips. It was silly, but Miranda felt if she went out there it was like she was losing a bit of herself she tried to hard to create. The calculated, hard, cold side of her that she had moulded from her old, softer ways.

Another laugh joined the mix, Jacob's. Sweat prickled at the back of her neck, and suddenly she felt the need to put her hair up into a pony tail.

Without really thinking Miranda stood smoothly, hands clenched purposefully at her sides. With her chin held high and nose forward she would walk out there and show everyone she too could be likeable and sociable.

Miranda lurched to her door, heart in her mouth, she wasn't sure why she felt like she was walking off a plank into the ocean where hungry sharks snapped at her feet. Her bedroom door whizzed open, silently and efficiently, this went unnoticed for a moment by everyone in the mess.

Miranda peeked around the corner, feeling foolish. It seemed almost everyone was in the mess, poking fun at the Mess Sargent and laughing with one another. The Commander was in the middle of it all, tossing her vibrant red hair back as she laughed, sipping at some fizzy beverage in her hand. Garrus stood near her, mandibles rising and falling in laughter, eyeing Shepard with a flickering, mischievous gaze. Thane and Samara stood a ways back, smiling small smiles, both looking a little uncomfortable but also appearing to be having a good time. Jacob was talking to Legion about something or another, his deep brown eyes gulping up every word the Geth seemed to be saying. Tali was talking to Grunt oddly enough, she was holding a new shotgun like it was her baby and was showing it to the Krogan proudly. Jack was sitting at the mess table, gulping back what Miranda presumed to be some type of alcohol. Mordin was talking quickly to the Engineers, showing them something on his omni tool, both of the young engineers watching him intently.

Miranda took a deep breath, she knew this was ridiculous but she felt completely alienated from these people. Shepard was like a fire cracker, before meeting the Commander she never would have pinned her as a life of party type of girl. Taking a deep breath Miranda mentally decided she couldn't deal with this, she was much safer back inside her room, not talking to people. But before she could sneak back inside her room it seemed Shepard must have noticed her.

"Miranda!" She called out, careening over the heads of some of the crew, beaming widely.

Miranda froze, feeling everyone's attention slowly slip to her, eyes burning into her back. Miranda struggled to compose herself, straightening her spine she turned around, moulding her face into a mask of impassiveness.

"Yes Commander?" She asked coolly, not daring to let her eyes slip from Shepard's green ones to the shocked and surprised ones of the rest of the crew.

Shepard brushed past Garrus lightly, still smiling, grabbing a drink off the counter and walking over to her. Shepard held out the fizzy substance, green eyes twinkling.

"Drink?" She asked.

Miranda took the drink stiffly, holding the cup in her hand, lips glued together.

Shepard looked over her shoulder, smiling devilishly. "Told you she'd show up." At this she scoffed to herself, "can't believe you all doubted your Commander."

Miranda blinked blankly, cautiously allowing her eyes to slide over the crew. They all smiled at her gently, eyes almost knowing.

"You mean to tell me you knew I'd show up?" She whispered, hardly believing what she was hearing.

Shepard chuckled, taking a sip of her own drink and winking at her over the lip of her cup.

"Of course." She grinned, "I mean how could you not come out here and check what all the fuss was about? We didn't know how many plates we'd have to break to finally coax you out here."

Miranda's tongue went dry, her face heating up. She didn't know she appeared so translucent.

Shepard reached out and patted her on the shoulder, "come off it Miranda, you may try extremely hard to appear as Miss. Untouchable but I'm sure you're a real softy at heart."

Miranda stared at her incredulously.

Again Shepard smiled, "well, what do you say? I'm not sure about you but I think I can handle at least another six or so beers."

Thanks, that's it for this chapter. Please review and fav and stuff like that.


3 Suicidal