Closing the door lightly, sherlock tip toed his way through the kitchen, peering around cautiously.
As he entered the living room, his eyes fell on Johns sleeping form. He had fallen asleep curled up on the sofa, his knees pulled up to his chest. As he approached, he noticed John shiver, he pulled off the afghan from the chair and laid it gently across his friend. Turning back towards his room he paused as he heard John yawn and shift. Damn
"Sherl-" John said but was cut off by another yawn.
"Yes?" he responded innocently, mockingly cheerful. Turning he saw that at this point, John was very much awake. Sitting up, John motioned and patted the spot beside him on the sofa. As Sherlock flopped himself down, he noticed Johns soft expression and thought maybe this talk wouldn't end as bad.
"Why?" John asked simply. The detective began avoiding his eye.
"Helps what, Sherlock?" The blond shifted a bit closer.
"The emotions!" Sherlock snapped. "I want them out! They're always there, mocking me, taunting me, and if I can't have the drugs…"he trailed off. Johns eyebrows shot up. Oh… he thought, pieces falling into place. Placing an arm around Sherlock, he gently pulled the detective towards him. Sherlock went tense before relaxing into Johns side.
"Sherlock, its alright to feel emotions sometimes, you can't keep them bottled up or they can get to be too much." The young man pressed his forehead into Johns shoulder, into the soft jumper that smelled so comforting.
"It hurts, John" he murmured.
John was utterly shocked at this, Sherlock rarely showed any kind of emotion. Without thinking John pressed a light kiss on the detectives messy hair, feeling oddly protective over him suddenly. He pulled Sherlock closer and held him for what seemed like hours.
"We're going to get through this Sherlock, it will be okay," he said eventually. Removing his arm, he twisted around to look at the other man. "Come to me from now on when you feel like you need to… you know." He received an unsure nod.
"You mean… you're not going to leave?" The younger man looked absolutely lost.
"Of course not, I didn't leave when I found that bloody head in the fridge! Why on earth would you think this would push me to leave?" He only received a shrug as a response.
That hadn't occurred to him, and he quickly relaxed back into the sofa cushions.
"Sherlock, know that if you ever want to talk to me about anything, you can. I will always listen." He places a hand on Sherlocks knee. "I'm not going anywhere."
This is going too smoothly, wheres the shouting? Wheres the anger? Sherlock was too shocked to even blink, he just stared at his friend. For the first time since university, someone had rendered the great Sherlock Holmes speechless.
"Budge over" John grunted, as he slid between the sofa back and Sherlock, who still looked extremely confused. John shifted so Sherlock could rest his head on Johns chest as a pillow, Johns back against the arm rest. When he settled, he wrapped his arms around him. Half his body now leaning into John, he looked up at him as if to ask What now…?
John read his eyes. "Now, tell me about something."
"Like what…?" The detective asked perplexed.
"Anything you'd like" Ah. Mindlessly, Sherlock began prattling on about the last case and then about a case similar to it from years ago. As he talked, he went from cases to situations. Happy ones, sad ones, even pointless ones he was positive he had deleted. He didn't even realize it at the time, but it helped. Only, it didn't crush his dreaded emotions, it satisfied them. He relaxed more and more and could actually feel the pressure and anxiety leaving his mind as the doctor stoked his hair and listened.
Later, when he would look back at that moment, he would swear that something had changed. It was like finding a new solution to his problem. Though this one was healthy and was a short army doctor. He grinned, slightly amused.
He hoped John knew what he had gotten himself into.