This is... it... It's so sad how far this story has come and now it's just over? It's hard to believe. You guys have been such a spectacular audience sticking with me through the whole roller coaster of a ride. It's awesome when people read the story. It feels even better when y'all come back for more each day! Gotta say thank you- You all are what makes this story possible!
Here is the final chapter. I hope to write a couple more Hot To Train Your Dragon stories. Probably one shots and probably tragedies as those are more up my alley. I don't write many long stories and definitely not ones where the main character lives. But I love Hiccup so much I couldn't do it.
Keep in touch though for my other stories! If you want to see some dragon related sob stories than they will be up sometime sooner or later. As it is- I hope you enjoyed the ride. Please keep all hands, arms and legs inside the fanfic until the story has come to a complete stop!
Read, Review, ENJOY!
Toothless didn't move an inch while I cried. His body rested calmly at my side, pushing his head into my arms like a burrow. He made no noise besides the occasional moan to echo my cries. He knew. I knew that he knew. I was hurting and I just needed him to be there with me.
I didn't even know how long I cried. The tears fell until my nose ran and I could barely see past swollen lids. I cried until my breath came in deep heaving gasps. I cried while my dragon sat and soaked up my tears. And I felt so weak. My shoulders trembled and I could not stop them. It was over. I was home and it was over. But why didn't I feel like it was? When I had finally halted the tears my fingers shook as I wiped my eyes. But Toothless stayed firm at my side. I shook my head, reaching and stroking his.
"Toothless, I was gone. I was gone and I might not have come back. And you kept waiting for me. It's… it's completely ridiculous. You need to move on if I ever…" I stopped myself, swallowing hard. His large green eyes looked up at me and I knew he did not understand. He was trying. He really was. But I was speaking a whole different language. It was of no use to his ears. I continued anyways, breathing deeply to calm myself. "But… I could never leave you. If anything ever happened I could never." I took his large head between my hands, rubbing under his chin like he liked so much. His eyes narrowed and he purred happily until my fingers slowed and I was lost in thought once again.
"I… I would do anything for you, Toothless." I ground my teeth. "And you would do anything for me. Because you trust me. But… I don't deserve it." I bowed my head low. "I don't deserve your trust. I don't make the right calls. I'm not strong enough or smart enough or… anything. I'm nothing! And I don't deserve…" I snorted, jerking my head away sharply. "If I had waited one more day I would have been rescued and that dragon would have survived. I could have come back for him. If I had just waited and not tried to move on my own. And why did I even move in the first place, Toothless? I knew I wasn't strong enough? Oh sure, look at Hiccup the big strong Viking! Look at Hiccup the brave who saved himself from capture! No! Look at little Hiccup the poor excuse for a resident of Berk! Look at Hiccup the hiccup!" I punched the wooden bed with the side of my fist, ignoring the pain there and balling my hands up in the sheets.
"And I don't deserve… to be here. I should have died with him. They should have killed me."
Toothless snorted and I yanked my hand away when he sheathed his teeth and bit me harmlessly. It hurt even so but did no damage. I scowled at him at first but realized with one look in those big green eyes that there was a part of him, as impossible as it sounded, that had understood my words. And he was not happy with them.
I could see it there in his face. I was his and he was mine. We were two of a kind and neither of us could live without the other. He needed me. He needed me to be strong. But I was just so tired of being strong. It was exhausting pretending to be something I wasn't and would never be.
I swallowed, pushing the blankets off of myself and reaching for my prosthetic at my bedside. My fingers trembled as they attached the limb to my leg, something that felt so foreign to me but comforting, like being let home for the first time after being locked in the rain. I relished in the feeling of comfort. Breathing in the air as if it tasted different just having my leg back on. With a determined nod, I swung my legs out of bed, grunting in agony when my wounds protested. But I was alright. I was nothing compared to the physical toll my body had taken.
I pushed out of bed with all my might, mouth open in a silent moan and eyes screwed shut. Toothless rushed to my side, ready to help me but I ignored him. I would do this on my own. I would stand on my own. I was a Viking. I was strong. I didn't need any help!
I finally pushed to my feet, shaky on knees that had not supported a body in weeks. But I was standing and that was all that mattered. With a deep inhale, I stuck out my chin, gritting my teeth as I turned to my mirror and stared into my reflection. I nearly broke down all over again, watching the way the scars moved across my chest. The red, jagged marks zig zagged across my pale flesh. They were everywhere, mauling every inch of my exposed skin. My fingers reached, running along one rough line to the next, feeling the texture of each bump and blemish.
The man lifted the whip. It came down on me again and again, thorns and spikes piercing and ripping into my skin. And all I could do was lay there, my shouts of pain echoing through the cave.
Little pink memories.
I rolled to my stomach. I tried to crawl away but a hand grasped my ankle, pulling me back under the shadows. A foot stamped on my wrist and a crack echoed in the dark. I barely had time to register it. "Stop. Please." My begging fell on deaf ears.
Only these were memories I would never forget.
I swayed in the mirror, eyes rolling in my head. Without even realizing it I was falling, the floor tilting sideways and playing tricks on me. At my side, Toothless was there, catching me on his back and stabling me, helping me rise just like he had that day in the water. Just like he had when I lost my leg.
Just like he would every single day from now until forever.
I swallowed hard. This was it. This was why I did not make a good Viking. I was not strong enough to take care of myself. I could not brave it alone. But I didn't need to because I had Toothless. I had Toothless and I always would and together we were a whole. It didn't matter that I could not stand on my own. That was just the way life was. Some people were Vikings, tough and strong. Some people were… well. Some people were me. And I was nobody without my best friend.
I let him help me stand, grasping onto his horns and pulling with all my might, hoisting myself up onto his back. He moaned underneath me, sadness deep in his throat and heart. I sat there by his wings, hunched over on his shoulders in a pitiful position to fly. I sat as if I was getting ready for him to spread his wings and do a lap around the room, something that would have been impossible with the space. But I only wanted to feel him underneath me. I only wanted the familiarity.
My head was spinning now though and I groaned, leaning sideways and sliding off of his back to land hard in my bed. For a split second the room was spiraling, breathing deep to keep myself conscious. Nauseous, I leaned over the side of the bed and threw up into the bucket my father had left, emptying my stomach of the soup.
I wanted to let go of consciousness. I wanted to get lost in my dreams, but my eyes held tight to Toothless. His own large green ones remained my thread, pulling me from the darkness of my dreams. A couple moments passed before I was able to steady myself enough to move. Sliding back under the covers of the bed, I reached and patted Toothless softly.
Better every day. Had that been what Stoic had said? For my own sake I hoped so. For Toothless' sake I prayed so. Maybe in a week I would be able to sit up straight on his back. In a month I would be able to fly again. In six I would begin to sleep through the nights without waking to the screams of a nightmare. However time passed, Toothless would always be there. Every single minute of it. I could count on it.
Tremble from the skies that fall,
With eyes that pray despise,
But as the war wages wars.
The littlest sparrow learns to fly.
I was not even a little sparrow. I knew now why that had been so stupid to Toothless the day I had recited to him the poem I had seen scrawled on the wall. It was because I would never learn to fly. Not on my own at least. I would always need Toothless. And he would always need me.
I was not a Viking. I was not a warrior. I was barely a resident of Berk.
I was nothing without Toothless. I was nothing on my own.
But I never wanted to be.
Final Special Thanks to some awesome reviewers who were with me again and again!
...and every single one of you onlookers reading this now! Much love and hugs!