Chapter 5: Touching Inside and Out

"Come with me," she says, out of breath as she parks the car in her garage next to a second vehicle.

She fumbles with unbuckling her seatbelt. I rest my hand on hers, rendering it motionless.

She turns toward me, her eyes wide.

"There's no rush," I say. My eyes sweep over her. "I'll warm you up, but it takes time, and I plan to savor every moment consuming you."

She closes her eyes and her head tips back. "I'm not used to slow. I like it hard and fast." Her head drops to her left shoulder, and she stares with a blank expression out the driver's side window.

"Try it; you might like it," I suggest. I run my hand up her arm.

"I like you," she replies.

"That's good. I'll make sure I tell my buddy in second grade you've checked that box off on the note you passed me." I smile. "I'm not stupid, Bella. You told me what this means to you. But that doesn't mean it won't mean more to me than a simple fuck. That's not my style, to go that route." I pause and my hand drifts the rest of the way up her arm, making its way into her damp hair. "You're nothing like the other women I've been with, but I don't care." My fingers wrap around the back of her head, and I pull her mouth over to mine.

I part her lips slowly with mine, slide my tongue in and heat radiates through my body.

Her hand reaches up, curls around my forearm, and she yanks me closer.

When I slide her to the edge of her seat, her other hand reaches out and grabs my thigh.

Our breaths are hot, pounding out of us with wet gasps, and I can barely think when her hand moves higher up my leg.

I break the kiss and rest my forehead against hers. "Fuck—I don't want to hurt you, but you're . . ."

"You won't," she says. She shakes her head and smiles, our foreheads sliding against each other. "I must be delirious. I shouldn't be doing this. You're not my usual type at all either, but, God, there's something . . . I can't resist you." She inhales and bites her bottom lip on the side.

I nip at it. "You've been doing a good impression of someone resisting up to this point. Let's go inside," I suggest.

"Okay," she says, breathless.

We let go of each other, and I get out of the car, run over to her side and let her out.

She smiles, and once I shut the door, she falls into my side, wrapping one arm behind my back and the other rests on my chest with her palm over my heart. "So damn cute. It's really not fair." Her hand behind me, reaches down and squeezes my ass.

My breath catches and my dick bobs. I turn to her, my eyes heavy. "It's not fair? Why's that?" I back her up against the car, cage her with my arms. "Fair? I kind of worried you were merely tolerating me. I'm nothing like your ex."

"Thank God," she groans. "He's such a grumpy bastard." Her palms slap onto my chest and they drag their way down to my shorts. My eyes follow the path, but then she stops and when I look up, she's smiling, but her eyes look hesitant.

I release her from her spot, take her hand and we walk together into the house once she's got her car secured and the garage door closed. "Just so you're aware, I wasn't talking about looks-wise. And obviously your ex and my personality are nothing alike, but I meant his build. He's a pretty big guy."

"You're taller—I like that better," she says.

I nod. There are other differences I'm sure beneath these clothes, but I suck in a tight gust of air, and keep my thoughts to myself.

"Anything you else like about me, please feel free to share," I say.

"I think we're done talking," she says. She leads me back to her bedroom then swings around, her eyes smoldering at me. "Bring me this pleasure you promised, . I'm giving you your chance. Prove to me you're not a kid; I need a man."

"I've got whatever you need," I say, and my chest aches just looking at her, because, fuck if she's not the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.

She stands motionless, waiting for me to do who knows what?

I step into her and wrap my arms around her waist and sway her back and forth. "I don't know if I should thank you or curse you." I reach behind her and get a good feel of her. "God, your ass makes me so hard." I press my hard on into her.

She smiles. "I have no idea why."

"Because it's so tight and fucking curvy," I reply.

She grips my ass back. "Hard and fast," she whispers. "That's how I need it."

"No, slow and satisfying. That's what you need. I promise you won't regret it." I dip my head down and kiss her neck, sucking and licking the salt off her skin.

Her hands are in my hair, her head lolling behind her.

"We'll see," she says.

"Yeah, we will see," I say, chuckling into her pulse point. How many times has she said that to me today? I bite at her neck, just a graze, and her whole body tightens then she goes onto her toes. My hand sweeps over her soft shoulder, and she lifts it, like there's a magnet under her skin, following my fingers.

Her eyes light up and she stops breathing.

She reaches behind her and leans back, pulling the covers down.

I hum low in my chest, and my dick vibrates. "Mmm . . . I think you really do wanna see." My chest is tight and I feel strangled at my own stupid-ass joke. The last thing I want is for her to really see me.

"No, kiddo. I wanna feeeel," she drawls. "I need more of you."

I gently lower her to the mattress and before standing back up straight, I slide her swim suit bottom off, while keeping my eyes on hers the entire time. She grimaces a little and a look of fear flashes in her eyes.

Shit. She's regretting this already.

My hands travel up her thighs, over her hips and when I reach her bikini top, my fingers slip under the bikini wires and I rest my lower half on her legs.

She beams at me. "Exactly how slow you gonna take this? Waiting until menopause strikes me?" she teases. She swings her legs, trying to move me up her body.

"Nope. Just enjoying the view of these sexy tits," I say. I tear my hands out from under the top and pull the cups to the side. When I slide up her body, her breasts are pushed up into my face. I wrap my lips around her right nipple, and her left leg, tucked between mine, hitches up. Her thigh grazes my balls. My back arches and then my hips thrust into her leg.

She flattens it.

"God, you have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. Exquisite. So soft; so tasty." I lightly skim my nose across her left nipple and blow on it. I slip a tongue out and lick the tip. Goose bumps erupt in that area. "Salty, like the ocean, mmmm." I suck and move my tongue the way she showed me in the cool ocean. She responds by gripping my shoulders and pushing her hips up into me.

"And wetter, too," she responds.

"We'll see . . ." I smirk.

She smacks my cheek playfully. "When?"

"I thought you old timers had all the patience in the world," I joke.

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you those Geritol and Depends ads lie. Fuck, kiddo. Do I need to start your lessons now?"

I run my tongue between her breasts, making my way down her torso, creating a wet line. She stiffens and suddenly props herself up. "I'm getting cold. Do you mind if we pull the covers over us?"

"Sure," I say. Her skin does feel cool to the touch, her hair's still damp from the ocean and I really didn't want her to see all of me naked anyway.

She crawls quickly under the covers, and I fight off a frown. Just because I don't want her to see me, doesn't mean I don't want to be able to see her as I'm eating her out under the covers. But it's fine. Anything I can do to make her more comfortable so she'll continue to let me do this, is worth it.

I duck under the blankets, moistening her right ribs and making my way back down toward her pussy.

A soft moan tumbles out of her, and suddenly I've got my tongue on her clit and my fingers teasing her moist lips.

When my fingers circle her opening, her hands tap me on the head.

I pull back a few inches. "Something wrong? I ask from under the dark fabric.

"Oh, God, you're gonna think this is gross," she says, sounding mortified. "I've got my balls inside."

"Your what?" I crawl back out of the tent I'd made between her legs and settle down next to her.

"My pleasure balls. I like to wear them inside of me when I'm exercising, especially doing yoga. It gets me off." She stares at the ceiling, her eyes flat.

"Holy shit! You're so naughty." I had no idea that those balls were inside of her the whole time I've been up against her and touching her body. "There's something inside your pussy?"

"Yeah." She exhales and drapes an arm over her chest, hiding her tits from me. "It tones my pelvic muscles at the same time. I'm not as young as I once was. I wear ben wah balls pretty frequently."

"Can I see them?"

"I suppose." She reaches her hands under the cover, and before she can remove them, I pull her arm back out.

"I mean, I wanna see for myself. I'll take them out." Her eyes go wide and a flicker of desire simmers in them. Her lips part and her breathing speeds up. I smile and continue, "Is there a trick to getting them out?"

"Not really. There's a string that attaches the two metal balls together. You can grab the string in the middle and tug, or just grasp one of the balls with your fingers and drag it out."

"Shit—that sounds sexy as fuck," I groan, stretching my neck back.

"It's really not. It's messy," she says, giggling a little. She strokes her hand through my hair. "Fucking cute. You're killing me."

"Oh, but your pussy juices all over some metal balls inside you isn't killing me?" I growl, and head back under the covers.

As I'm bending her knees and spreading her back apart, she reaches behind her and unfastens her bikini top.

I'd be all over those tits if it wasn't for knowing there's something taking up residence where my dick must be.

I take a breath, put my mouth on her, thrust my tongue into her cleft.

Her lower back bows for a second and then melts back into the mattress. I do it again, and this time, her hips roll open wider.

Her scent is like a drug—making my head buzz and my gut tingle. My heart pounds as I finally slip two fingers inside her.

Pttt. Pttt.

The balls clink together, and I moan like a man coming undone.

I finger them and knock them together again; her legs shift toward me.

I press the flat of my tongue on her clit and yank a little on that string inside her; playing with those erotic balls.

Her hands reach down into the covers and she tugs on my hair; she pants and the soles of her feet run down my outer thighs.

All at once, I'm stunned by the way those balls roll around inside her, but I don't want to use my fingers, or even my dick to get them to move.

The string's long enough, I drag the center of it to her entrance and make sure it's poking out.

I run my finger over the strand once, take a deep breath and scoot down a few inches. The angle of my head shifts over to the side, and I use my teeth to tease it, make it dance inside her.

"Oh fuck!" she pants. "What're you . . . Ohhhhhh my God!" She tries to sit up, and her fingers wrap around my head as she tries to pull me up to her. "No more fucking around. I need that dick inside me, now!"

I rub my body on her as I come back up for air. My swim shorts are still on, but it's fine.

Her tits are mine, and my fingers can get back up inside her and play with those balls some more. They're warm to the touch when I finger them again, and each time I push them higher inside her, a soft moan breaks out of her.

Her chest flushes as I suck at her nipples one at a time.

The balls clang again, and I'm dying to know what they'll feel like on my dick as I'm fucking her. I pull my hand out and cup myself for a second, debating on if I should go ahead and pull my shorts off now.

"Sick of playing with an old lady's toys?" she asks, grinning.

"So very, very naughty," I whisper through my smile as I continue to kiss her. "I could never get sick of this kinky woman. You have no idea how fucking how hard I am for you right now. Those metallic balls are like nothing compared to my metal shaft." I press my erection against her thigh.

She reaches down between her legs so fast, I'm unable to stop her. When her hand makes a reappearance, she's got those two silver balls cupped in her palm. She reaches over and sets them on her nightstand.

My eyes go wide and focus on the way they glisten with her fluids, and I can barely breathe as I think about how I had my teeth on that string.

"Put 'em back in," I say.

She chuckles. "Not for your first time with me."

"Why not?"

She uses her palm against my cheek to turn my head back to her. Holy fuck—her hand's really moist with her pussy juices that were on those balls. My eyes slide up in my head; I turn my lips to her palm and kiss in the center, then lick her flavor off.

"Let's just keep things simple for now." She wraps her legs around my ass. Her hand darts back down below the covers once more, and this time she strokes my shaft from the outside of my bathing suit.

"Why are you still dressed?"

She slips her hands under my shorts and fondles my ass.

I grip my trunks at the waist, and just as I'm yanking them off . . .


A car races up and parks outside the front of her house.

She cringes and groans. Her hands stop stroking me.

A car door slams loudly, and she tenses.

I ignore it and go back to undressing, but I can't quite get them off, with her hand gripping my cock tight from outside of my clothes.

"Move your hand," I tell her.

"Shhhiiit!" She pushes me off her.

I roll to the side and secure my shorts back in place.

The front door in her living room flies open.

"Bella, get out here, now!" Jake yells.

My jaw snaps shut, and a river of ice spreads down my spine. He has a key. He used it. And he's in her goddamn house, cockblocking me, the bastard!

"Don't listen to him. I'll get rid of him." I move to the edge of the bed. "Stay here."

"No, you better go." She gets up, faces away from me and quickly pulls her swim suit back on.

My whole face contorts, and I can barely see since my eyes are down to slits and watering. "Don't do this." I grip her covers. "He doesn't care about you like I do."

She turns toward me and her eyes grow wide. They're so filled with regret and sorrow, I have to shift my gaze away for a second.

Did I make her look this way, or was it him? Is she realizing now she was on the verge of making a huge mistake?

"I can't do this now. Take my car keys and borrow the Volvo to get yourself home. It's my other car you saw in the garage. I have to talk to him. I'll come over and see you later." She wraps her arms around her middle.

I cock my head her and sniff. "Why do you jump through every hoop he throws at you? You don't have to."

Her shoulders rise and she drops her chin. "It's . . . complicated." She gives me a haunted, crushed look and then sighs. "You'll get yours, eventually."

"You think because this was gonna be nothing but a quick fuck for you, that's all I wanted from you? Fuck! I'm not some asshole that uses women." I shove my back against the wall. "I'm not like that. I'm not like him!" I point toward the door to her bedroom. "Believe it or not, I actually really do like you and wanted to get to know you better. You know . . ." my teeth clench together, and I talk through them ". . . spend some more time together and have more conversations—that shit women like to do? Talking? Yeah, this guy likes that too." I point at my chest. "I care what you think, and I love hearing you speak your mind."

Her right eye twitches and she frowns. "I told you—dating doesn't work for me. What you're talking about is . . ."

"You know what? Forget about it. I hope you have a nice chat with him—the man that doesn't listen, pisses you off and uses you without a second thought." I walk over to the door, pull it open and keep my eyes straight ahead as I ignore his stares.

I find her keys by the front door I didn't even realize she'd brought in when we got here.

The second I have them in hand, open that garage door through the kitchen, the pain rifles through me.

My fists close and without another thought, I've got her garage door open, I'm backing out and driving off while my chest throbs like he just kicked the shit out of me.

"Yeah, we'll see . . . That's all you can fucking say to me. Hey, get out of here, you lying sack of shit, that's what you should've said to him!" I grit and hit the gas harder.

So many things I could've said to her to try and persuade her to act differently slam into my mind.

When I get home, I'm almost dizzy with all the images I have of him taking her back to her bed, pressing those balls back inside of her, followed up by his nasty dick.

He's no good for her.

I slam her keys down on my counter, grab something to drink out of the fridge and chug it down without tasting a damn thing.

The next breath, I've ripped the swim shorts off, balled them up and thrown them across the room.


They hit the front door and slide to the ground.

I glare at them and then drop my head, staring at my still, hard dick.

What is she thinking?

I head back to my bathroom, take a long, hot shower, soaking my head thoroughly. Each time I think of her in the ocean, I'm throbbing and aching for her.

I ignore it. There's no way I'm gonna jack off.

When the water cools, I turn it off, dry myself and throw on some clothes.

I pace around my room, and eventually wander out into my small living room.

As I glance around the ridiculously small, plain space I live in, I growl.

I barely looked at her place, I was in such a hurry to get her naked and have my mouth on her. But what I saw, I really loved.

It was warm, inviting, and there was this feeling that pervaded the atmosphere of a very thoughtful, intelligent woman, spending time to make it a haven of sorts.

"Ahhhhhh!" I scream and kick the wall. I pick up my textbook and chuck it across the room. All the shit I had sitting on top of it goes flying too. "So fucking stupid! She doesn't want you!"

I crash down into the couch cushions and knock the back of my head into the wall.

My phone chimes on the side table, right next to where my book had just been.

I stupidly pick it up and answer without looking to see who's calling. All because I'm dying inside over the thought it could be Bella, calling to say the dickhead's gone, she stomped his nuts and can I please come back over and fuck her until she's mine?

"Oh, hi, Edward. I'm glad you're home," Haley says.

I tip my head back, rest it on the back of my pathetic couch and run a hand over my face. "Yeah, I just got in."

"Can I come over?" she asks. "I'd like to see you again."

I exhale, rub my lips together and slide my top teeth over my bottom lip. My gut fills with this wiggly-worm feeling, and I know what I have to do. "No, sorry, Haley. But I can't. I've started seeing somebody. And . . . And I really love her. It wouldn't be fair."

Silence. "Oh . . . Ok-kay, sorry to bother you."



Like my heart.