Authors Note: Guys, let me just tell you right now that this is not how I normally write. In fact I didn't really write this at all, i'm just taking the crappiest fanfiction of all time and changing names around, editing it to fit in with Futurama, etc. in a shitty attempt at making an equally shitty parody of it to amuse myself and waste my time. This is a Futurama parody of My Immortal, which was an unbelievably awful Harry Potter fanfiction by some dumbass named Tara Gilesbie. If you want to read the original just search up My Immortal and you should find it somewhere. It's floating around all over the internet. Also Cobalt Zinc isn't a serious character of mine, in fact this fic parody and any artwork I make that's related to it will probably be the only things containing her since I merely created her to be an annoying Mary Sue for this fic. The rating might go up later on when the bad sex scenes arrive. Parodies of Tara Gilesbie's author notes will also be in here. These will be written as AN: and my real author's notes will be written as Author's Note: and be in bold text like the one you're currently reading. I just thought I should tell you so you don't get confused. Anyway, I hope this parody makes you laugh at the bad grammar, gothicness, fail sex scenes, and the intentionally mary sueish fancharacter!

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) Leela, cyclopstearz111 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Richurd nicxon's head ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Chapter 1.

Hi my name is Cobalt P'latinum Magnesia Golden Zinc and I have cobalt blue hair (that's how I got my name) with platinum streaks and golden tips that reaches my shoulders and harlequin green eyes like brain slugs and a lot of people tell me I look like Monique (AN: if u don't know who she is get da robot hell out of here!). I'm not related to Calculon but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a robot vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale silver skin. I'm also a bending unit, and I work at a sexy delivery company called Planet Express in New New York where I've been working for seven years (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with blue lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, blue fishnets and black beatle boots. I was wearing black lipstick, silver foundation, black eyeliner and blue eye shadow. I was walking outside Planet Express. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of meatbags stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Cobalt!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Bender Bending Rodriguez!

"What's up Bender?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my human friends Leela and Amy call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!