Oh! yes another chapter! thank you for the reviews and those who followed and faves the story! thank you very much i hope you enjoy while reading this!

He finally went at the right apartment for almost thirty minutes he found himself walking aimlessly at Ikebukuro, back and forth at the park and around the city to find the right apartment he was looking for. With a sigh I opened the door and went inside looking around I saw Izaya on the kitchen taking out some vegetables on the fridge and paced it on the kitchen counter.
"shizu-chan I prepared hotpot today, I know you like them ne? wou-" he stopped talking as he looked up to meet my gaze."oops I thought it was Shizu-chan! Welcome home tsuki-chan~ like I said I prepared hotpot!" Izaya smiled as he wore his apron and started to wash the fresh ingredients. I placed my bag on the couch and went to the kitchen.

"i-is there anything I could do?" I asked wanting to help the older male but he just smiled and looked at me.

"no thanks tsuki I want to prepare this myself for you and Shizu-chan.. but I you insist just keep me accompany its hard talking alone ne?"

"a-alright" I said and took a seat at one of the stool in the counter looking at Izaya, I looked at him through my glasses and blinks, he really looks like a house wife.

"so where is Shizu-chan?"

"he was still at meeting w-with the faculty a-about the incident in the field trip"

"ahh I see" he murmured and started to chop the vegetables, the room was silent aside from the constant chopping. It was awkward and I can't even make a start to conversation as I just sat there and looked at Izaya, for a moment my thoughts were being plagued by Roppi again even in the class I can't concentrate even though he wasn't there, I guess he skipped again.

"tsuki why did you left the dorm?"

'"uh." I blinked for a moment before his question sunk into my understanding. "uh.. well i-I don't feel like staying there anymore..because its.. its … t-the place is I can't concentrate on studying"

"haaa jeezz you are as bad as Shizu-chan when lying.. "

"im n-not l-"

"you love him ne?" the chopping stopped as he asked that question and looked at me "you love Roppi"
at that time I remained silent, looking down as if I did a very unforgivable thing, Izaya chuckled and continued to chop. "I can see it so clear Tsuki-chan did the two of you got on fight? I know you can tolerate him but I didn't expect you would really leave the place."

"he doesn't want me anymore, there is no point"

Izaya remained silent for a moment maybe a bit stunned at how I didn't stutter, I usually don't stutter when im too serious to even think a proper reply whatever comes in my mind I say it without hesitation.

"hmm… and you gave up that easily?"

"I did not give up, I just grant his wish " I said lowly and sighed burying my face in my folded arms on the counter, just thinking about it makes me want to cry all over again but of course I don't want to cry in front of Izaya so I tried to hold back my tears. I closed my eyes and I heard the chopping stopped all at ones and the chair being pulled by my side.

"do you know why Roppi pushes everyone away?" he asked and I looked up at him, sitting straight as fidgeted with my scarf, I didn't ask anymore since he continued to speak "because he doesn't want to hurt the people that he values, the more he value you the more he tries to push you away"


"Tsuki" Izaya turned to face me and took my hand as he speak "promise me you won't tell anyone about this" I looked at the raven and slowly nods, whatever it is I know it was important and a secret that if I spill, it might cost me my neck.

"Tsuki Roppi is not my cousin, he was my younger brother.. and he doesn't know about this"
I blinked and just stared at izaya as he sighed and faced the counter again folding his arms as he tapped the table. I didn't know what to say so I just waited for him to continue which he did.

"Roppi is a un legitimate son of my father, his mother was the former secretary of my father and they had an affair but it just lasted for a year and Roppi's mom left the town without telling she was pregnant. His mother married another man a doctor, they lived together when he was seven but after a year his mother died in an accident and he was left in the care of his step father after the funeral of his mother the beatings started. His step father would let his stress out of roppi, his step father took Roppi to his real family unfortunately he already had a wife and a daughter and they threw him under the stairs locking him there only letting him out to clean or to beat him. When he was eleven when his stepfather molested him, and he started cutting himself at that age, he almost died many times but his step father would always treat the wounds. Later did he know and the family know that Roppi's mental state is not stable anymore."
not stable? I blinked and started to look down as I pondered over what izaya said, that's why, that's why Roppi-san is suicidal, his past was worse than mine. I thought I was the most unfortunate kid but…

"one day Roppi heard his step father said that he was just using his mother for the money and that he killed his mother so when his stepfather beat him his insanity took all of him and he.. he.. " a sigh escaped the informants mouth as he tried to find the words he was about to say.


"He killed them, he murdered the family he killed three people and burned the house.. my father who found out about Roppi and was about to take him away from that family came too late to see the burning house and the child that was standing on the backyard with a knife, my father took him away from there and into a rehabilitation center he told my father everything that happened and after three years, Roppi managed to overcome his problem and started to live with us, he had torturing which he passed without any troubles, but getting along with him was the hardest of all, he stabbed Psyche when he was on his fits, he almost pushed me off a building starting that day he became cold and rarely talked to us, he confined himself on his own world and he won't allow any intruder. Tsuki he was pushing you away because he doesn't want to hurt you" izaya said and looked at me before his gaze fell on the pot that was already boiling; standing up he turned it off. I looked down and clenched the ends of my scarf as tears started to fall down my eyes fogging my glasses. I didn't know, I didn't know that Roppi drove me away because of that but then.. I slowly stood up and went to my room Izaya's voice of asking was on the background but I closed the door behind me and slumped on my bed. Thinking about what izaya said I looked down and wiped the tears away there was more reason why Roppi-san pushed my away from him because he already accepted me right? He should have pushed me away from the moment I confessed but he didn't. he thinks he would hurt anyone because he killed three people he killed that family… wait.. wait, something is not right as long as I could remember Roppi-san said back at the lake that.

"then I found out he already had a family of his own and was just using my mother he took me to his house and lived there along with his wife ,daughter and son"

I tilted my head and blinked as I recalled what izaya said

"his step father took Roppi to his real family unfortunately he already had a wife and a daughter"

Something is wrong here.. I looked down and flipped the pages on my sketch pad and sighed, grabbing my bag I dropped all the contents in the floor as well as the garbage I found under my bed in the dormitory. Opening the crushed papers I looked at them one by one, one was a drawing of a flower which was being scratched, the other was drawing of Roppi who was also crushed since I didn't get the right angle. Throwing it on the trash I grabbed another paper and opened it but I tilted my head as I read the contents.

Roppi how come did you survive this long? Im amused you are not dead yet
but don't worry, because one day no one will remember you.

I blinked and stared at the letter, this is a.. I looked around and saw another crushed paper opening it I read the contents

do you want to end this all? I know you wanted to,
well lets meet up on that old abandoned building four blocks
away from sunshine 60…

"Hachimen Roppi" I heard the voice down the hall as another fist collided with my jaw, I groaned and coughed two male were holding my arms since my knees already gave up, from the moment I entered the building a hard object was bashed against my head and lost my consciousness, when I opened it I was so dizzy to even stand up and from the moment I took a few steps they started to beat me four guys the one was just watching while laughing as he looked down at me. I looked at the person who I suppose was the leader, my rage was starting to get out but I was interrupted by the pain that I felt when he made a cut on my arm.

"do you like seeing that Roppi? Hmm? To a person as crazy as you are I suppose you liked it" he smiled and waved the blade in the air. The pain was slowly subsiding I managed to glare t him.

"who.. who are you?" I asked and hissed again as he made a cut on my other arm, blood spilling on the ground.

"you like seeing blood Roppi, do you think I wound't remember the looks you have while you murdered my family huh!" the man stood my front and pushed his hat away so I could clearly see the scar that almost tore his face, it was on his chin going to the sides of his face up to his temples, now I remembered.


"yes, you Psycho!" he hissed and took a hold of my hair and ran the blade on my chest, he grabbed my wrist and pinned them on the ground before stabbing my hand with my own blade.

"AAAHHHH!" my scream filled the room as I stared at the blade, pain was racking on my body, pain and anger, pain and pain.. its all I could feel the pain, the blood, the rush of my thoughts and the murmurs on my ear the endless mantra of kill..

kill… blood… kill them.. see their blood…enjoy the pain


death.. crimson.. crimson … spill it ..

cut… more deaths…pain..


What? did you just said 'kill them all?' that was a very nice idea coming from you. Im starting to like your idea it sounded so good and tempting.. so should we kill them all? You will help me right? So how should we do this? Tear the limbs part by part? But it would take long because I had a small knife… ahh how about lets count how many times I stabbed them? Sounds good.

"AHAHAHAHA!" So shall we start the countdown?