Binks strode into the hangar bay he had used that morning with a full belly and a gentle breeze on his shoulders. As he activated the Decimator's boarding ramp he had no particular plan for the rest of the day, but he wasn't terribly worried about it either. He had no idea how long this mood would hold, but he knew he wasn't going back to his apartment.

The ramp fell slowly, with the usual Sith gravitas and menace. Today it just seemed slow. He watched it and thought about the old ship. Perhaps he could trade it in? he mused. Maybe just scrap it. Despite it being an antique, it was not attractive and its value had been intentionally hidden. You could get good money for scrap these days, if you knew the right shipyards.

Something hit Binks' back and neck, flattening him in a second. He was used to falling on his face, but what had he tripped on this time? Pressing on his palms, he tried to get up but found another powerful kick - stronger than any normal being's legs - smacking him back onto the durasteel, pressing him down.


"The time has come," said a deep, muted voice which he recognised immediately. "Your reign is over and mine has begun!" Darth Flagetus. Perniteus' apprentice of only three months had followed him here.

"I returned to the moon of Corbos, the one you had dismissed the other day," he said. "The dark side aura we felt had enveloped a ruined temple. I found holocrons crafted by great masters of ancient times. Ajuunta Pall, Naga Sadow... and even Lord Bane. Apparently he finished his final record after all!"

"Was it any good?"

"Well... no. It fell apart and caught fire when I switched it on. But I absorbed its power, and it was mighty!"


Perniteus couldn't finish the thought. He struggled to move, but couldn't lift himself an inch. The sound of the descending boarding ramp gew louder, closer to his head.

"I saw..." he groaned, "a vision from the dark side!"

"As did I, Binka-Bee," Flagetus replied. "But mine came true."

As the dark guides the hidden Lords of the Sith, so too does it cloak them. As they control it, so do they carry out its will. All life is finite but the darkness - the stillness - survives. It preserves itself, passing from the shadows of one being to another, beneath their feet and eyelids, behind their teeth, until it is ready to swallow the world whole.

Until the lights fail.

Author's Note: Thank you very much for reading! I wanted to say that although this story is very much a parody of James Luceno's novel Darth Plagueis, Drew Karpysyhn's Darth Bane trilogy and Matthew Stover's brilliant novelization of Revenge of the Sith, I hope my love for those books shows through as much as their... slightly siller aspects.

I found myself reading Plagueis, and wondering just how many novels I had now read in which the protagonist was a psychopathic Sith Lord and half the pages were taken up with mixed metaphors about the nature of the dark side. And how I was getting too old for this. But really, I wouldn't bother to make fun if I hadn't loved them in the first place.

Thanks again, especially if you left a review - I really appreciate that. And remember:

Even stars die.