I'm a Space Wizard
AN: I've wanted to do a Firefly crossover for a while and only just now got some inspiration, I hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Firefly/Serenity; they belong to J.K. Rowling and Joss Whedon respectively.
"Sir? Any particular reason why it's U-Day and we find ourselves once again in another alliance friendly establishment?"
"Is it Unification Day already? I have to say Zoe, it snuck right up on me." Mal said to his first mate.
"I'm sure it did sir." Zoe deadpanned back even as she emptied the bottle of whiskey they were sharing into their two shot glasses.
The two former Browncoats lifted their glasses in a silent salute to their fallen comrades. Mal took the empty bottle from the table and walked up to the bar to exchange it for a full one. He saw the barman was speaking to someone in a long black hooded coat.
"I'm looking for work; you know anyone with a need for a jack of all trades on their ship?"
"Sorry friend, this is more of a local haunt for miners and farmers, you might wanna try nearer to the port, could have better luck there."
"Thanks friend" the man said and took a pull of his beer.
"Barkeep, gonna need another one of these." Mal said waving the empty bottle in front of him.
"Coming right up"
"Happy Alliance Day! Drinks are on me!" a boisterous voice exclaimed.
A round of deafening cheers greeted the exclamation. Mal turned in the direction where the loudest voices were and saw a man in his late 30s with thinning brown hair receiving enthusiastic pats on the back with a big grin on his face. As the guy walked up to the bar, he wedged him-self between Mal and the customer in the hooded coat.
"Dooley, everyone gets a shot of whiskey!"
Another round of cheers and back slapping was the answer to this proclamation. The barkeeper slapped a shot glass down in front of the money man and poured him a shot, he set a glass in front of the guy in the black trench but a hand placed on top of the glass halted him from pouring that sacred brown liquid. This action did not go unnoticed; the cheerful atmosphere was quickly replaced with thick tension.
"What's your problem friend, you too good for a free drink or are you a Browncoat sympathizer?" Mr. Money asked.
"I don't have a problem with the Alliance or Browncoats; I'm just not drinking whiskey today." The voice was a baritone of indeterminate age with a slight accent that Mal couldn't place.
"Now look here, I swore an oath to by a round for anyone in any bar I walked into on U-Day. I swore to hoist it up to the Alliance for running those Browncoats off with their tails between their legs. I won't be having any refusals" he snatched the bottle from the barman and slammed it on the hardwood next to the strangers elbow "You're going to drink and that's that."
"How about a compromise? You want to pay for my drink, you can buy my beer, but I already told you, I'm not drinking whiskey today." Trench coat said in a flat tone.
"I'm not buying beer, I'm buying whiskey!" The money man said getting belligerently.
"You're going to buy yourself a trip to a med-ward if you keep pushing."
"Listen here you son of a bitch!"
"What was that?" the man in black interrupted. "What did you just call me?" Trench coat asked softy.
Mr. Money blinked in confusion. "I called you a son of a bitch, what exactly are you going to do about it?"
"I'm going to break your jaw because I loved my parents very much and then just to be a dick I'm going to take your money."
It was fast…too fast for anyone in the bar including Mal to see the punch coming. One second the money man was standing tall and proud, the next second his head was whipped over to the side and his jaw looked like it had been unhinged. The money man hit the floor in slow motion; the only thing missing was someone yelling "Timber!"
Shouts of surprise and outrage were just as loud as the earlier shouts of joy. The crowd started advancing on the man in black with angry grumbles. They stopped all movement when the trench -coat wearing fella swept aside his lapels and displayed a Callahan MP 12 Submachine gun hanging from a strap under his right arm. After making sure everyone got a good look at his artillery the man quickly rifled through the fallen man's pockets and came up with a pouch that jangled with platinum, he then calmly walked out the doors without a second look back.
Mal looked back and forth between the fallen Alliance enthusiast and the mystery man going for the exit. "Zoe!"
Mal yelped in surprise when his second in command spoke from directly behind him, he spun around and glared into the amused brown eyes of his closest friend. "How many times I have to tell you not to do that?"
"Sorry Captain; won't happen again." Zoe said holding back a smile.
"That's what you said last time. Come on lets go." Mal said leading the way out of the bar. There wasn't a whole lot of hustle and bustle going on outside so spotting his target was easy. In a few jogging steps he was close enough to speak without shouting. "Yo pal mind if I have a word?"
The figure stopped and cocked his head to the side but did not turn around. "Was that man a friend of yours?"
"Never seen him before, I over-heard you earlier. I got some work for a jack of all trades if you're interested."
The person hesitated briefly before fully turning around. The first thing that Mal took notice of was the eyes, not the color but the fact that they were old eyes set in a young face, Mal felt Zoe tense next to him, she must have noticed the same thing. He saw eyes like that a lot after the war. "I'm Captain Malcolm Reynolds, this here is Zoe Washburn my second in command" Zoe inclined her head slightly but stayed silent. "That's a genuine offer of employment."
Harry pulled the hood from his head. "I'm Harry Potter, you mind talking specifics over a drink?"
Mal smiled out of one side of his face "I know the perfect place."
A few hours later Mal, Zoe and Harry boarded Serenity with a slight wobble in their steps and sharing 4 loose teeth, two black eyes, a bleeding but unbroken nose and 4 bruised ribs between them. They were met on the ramp by the ships pilot who also doubled as Zoe's worried husband Wash; they were also met by the ships mechanic Kaylee.
"Ta ma de! Mal, why is it you bring my wife back home bleeding and half-drunk again?" Wash said guiding Zoe to the mule to take a seat.
"Sorry Wash, I was just reprimanding her on bobbing when she should have weaved."
"Not funny" he said.
"Take it easy Husband, this is nothing compared to the other guys." Zoe said with a bloody grin
"Wuh de ma" Wash said miserably.
"Captain you're being awfully rude, who's your new friend?" Kaylee said with an infectious smile.
"This here is Harry; he's going to be our new shipmate. Harry this is Kaylee, she's the reason Serenity runs like brand new. Why don't you show him to an empty bunk and we'll make the formal introductions in a bit." Mal said to Kaylee.
"Don't mind if I do. Come with me" Kaylee said smiling over at the handsome man with the enchanting green eyes.
"I'm right behind you; see you in a few Captain." Harry followed the cheerful girl further into the ship.
"You know Wash, the faster you get us off the ground and into atmo, the faster you can tend to your misses."
"That's emotional blackmail!"
Harry laughed softly to him-self as the voices faded the further he walked away from them.
"So where you from stranger?" Kaylee asked.
"I've been hopping from planet to planet for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it seems as if I'm from nowhere and everywhere." Harry said.
"You got anybody that's missing you?" Kaylee asked she stopped by a door punched in a code on the keypad next to the portal. The doors split open with a whoosh a Kaylee led the way inside.
Harry stepped into the room, he dropped his only piece of luggage on the bed, it was a large military style duffle bag. "My folks died when I was young, I got no other family worth mentioning."
"Oh gosh, me and my big mouth, I'm sorry for bringing up something so painful." Kaylee and for the first time the smile left her face.
"It was a long time ago and I've made my piece with it. Do me a favor and start smiling again, I feel terrible for making you lose your beautiful smile." Harry said walking up to her.
Kaylees smile was back in full force along with a fine red blush on her cheeks. "Thank you Harry; that was kind of you to say."
"Nothing kind about it, I meant it; you have a beautiful smile Kaylee." He said walking up to her.
Kaylee unconsciously backed up against the inner wall of Harry's new room.
"Am I making you nervous Kaylee?" Harry asked stopping only inches from her.
"No, nervous is exactly what I'm not feeling right now." Kaylee said breathlessly.
Harry's mouth descended upon Kaylee's at the same time his doors whooshed closed.
Harry stayed on Serenity for just over a year, his relationship with Kaylee ended on good terms, the same with the rest of the Serenity crew. After leaving the crew on Persephone 4 years back, Harry trekked all over the Verse from Core planets to the Rim. He checked his Navigational computer and checked his position, he saw he was close to his destination, right in the middle of a clutch of Border planets, he aimed his boat towards a half civilized moon called Hercules.
He glanced around at all the blinking lights on the console when he saw what the date was July 31 2519. "Well Hell, Happy Birthday to me." Harry thought to him-self.
"Happy Birthday Harry, how old are you?"
The voice was deep, cultured and Harry was well accustomed to hearing it in his head by now.
"539 years young." He answered.
"Still a babe in the woods compared to me."
"Who isn't a child compared to you Fawkes?" Harry asked. "So is this the year you finally tell me why you did what you did?" Harry turned his head as a brilliant light flared up to his right. There floating next to him was Fawkes, almost completely unchanged in appearance except for the fact that he had no corporeal body. He just floated there ghost-like in appearance. It was over 400 years ago almost to the day that the majestic bird descended upon Harry's death bed and somehow bestowed his magic upon the dying wizard.
At a hundred plus years of age Harry had been bedridden for a few years from an accumulated wealth of injuries and curses he received from various points in his life. As he lay in bed slowly withering away, Fawkes appeared out of nowhere and then without as much as a by your leave he turned him-self into pure magic and bound him-self to Harry. Harry woke up a week later, his white hair was once again black as night, his muscle were once again strong and taut and even without getting up from his bed he knew he could move around without hearing the creaking and cracking of old bones.
"As I've told you the first time you asked me and every time after that, it was for purely selfish reasons that I bonded myself to you. The world was dying; I knew the humans were leaving it behind. I felt your life force slipping away and I figured it was a good way to go on an adventure, now look where we are, out in the black of the universe. It was as simple as that."
'BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!'
The proximity alarm going off made Harry pay closer attention to the controls and his landing procedures, "Well after all these years I still don't believe that. Four hundred and some odd years together and I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"Well you can stop waiting. I didn't save you so you could recreate the magical world or discover some lost civilization; I'm just along for the ride."
Harry didn't bother to respond to that, he set his transport in the dock and cut the engines. He craned his head to speak to Fawkes directly. "How does one celebrate their 539th birthday anyway?"
"Well if I remember correctly, I spent the day chasing this beautiful chocolate brown Earth Phoenix all over the world…"
"Fawkes! I do not want to hear about any of your freaky bird sex." Harry said with a grimace.
"Come on Harry! I know all about your freaky human sex. The least you can do is humor me now and again."
"The only reason you know about my freaky human sex is because you choose the worse times to awaken your consciousness within my head. Which I think you do on purpose most of the time." Harry said giving the ethereal bird the evil eye before pushing away from the controls and moving out of the pilot's chair. It was a short walk through his Wren-class light transport-ship; before Harry dropped the ramp, Fawkes' ethereal form coalesced into a bright orange ball of magic and hit Harry directly in the chest. He ignored the warm sensation that spread through his body at the Phoenix's return.
"Fawkes do you think the Serenity got my wave?" Harry asked the Phoenix.
"It's only been a couple of days, give it some time. Meanwhile we have a birthday to celebrate, where to first a brothel or a bar?" Fawkes asked him.
(With the crew of Serenity)
"So who's this guy you're reversing course to go meet Mal?" Jayne asked his captain as the majority of the crew sat around the dining room table.
"Harry's an old crew member who parted from us after about a year. He called him-self a jack of all trades and he wasn't lying." Mal said cutting up an apple.
"It's true; Wash said he was one of the best natural flyers he'd ever seen." Zoe chimed in.
"He could even hold his own in the engine room with me." Kaylee said from her spot snuggled into Simon's side.
"Anyway we went our separate ways, what 4 years back? Lost touch until he sent that wave to meet him on Hercules." Mal said.
"What's he like?" Inara asked.
"He's a bit of a mystery, but he and Wash got on like they were separated at birth." Zoe answered.
"Never talked much about his past, but he could be counted on, never had to worry about turning my back to him." Mal followed up.
"Sounds like a real boy scout." Jayne said.
"Cap'n, you got another wave from that Harry person." River's voice echoed through the com system.
"Put him through mei-mei."
Mal turned to the vid screen directly behind. As soon as he was facing it, Harry's familiar face appeared. He looked unchanged by time, still had those ancient eyes and that wild hair.
"Mal! How the hell are ya?" Harry asked with a smile.
"Harry it's been too long."
"It damn sure has, Zoe, Kaywin you're both looking well." Harry said looking at each.
Kaylee didn't answer right away just smiled and waved at her ex-lover. She felt Simon stiffen as soon as Harry called her Kaywin which in the history of her life the only people to do so were her parents when they were angry.
"You're looking healthy Harry, what warrants the blast from the past?" Zoe asked.
"It gets lonely out in the Verse, was wondering if you needed a jack of all trades aboard Serenity?" Harry spoke to Mal.
"Even though you only spent a year with us, you proved yourself a member of this crew, you're welcomed anytime Harry." Mal said.
"That's good to hear. How close to Hercules are you?"
"Two hours, nine minutes and thirteen seconds away." River answered from the doorway of the kitchen.
"Okay that was oddly specific, meet me at House Aphrodite when you get in, I'll be waiting for you." Harry said and with a jaunty salute the screen went blank.
"Uh Kaylee just how close were you and this Harry guy?" Simon asked his girlfriend.
"You and Harry? When did that happen?" Mal asked looking at his clearly uncomfortable mechanic.
"The entire time he was on the ship sir." Zoe said dryly.
"Really?" Mal asked looking confused.
"Can we not talk about my love life in front of the entire crew please Cap'n?" Kaylee said.
"I'd like to talk about something." Jayne said. When all eyes turned on him, he pointed back over his shoulder at River, who still stood in the doorway staring at the blank vid screen. "If she's here who's flying the boat?"
There was a mass of wide eyed looks shared around the room before Mal made a mad dash towards the cock pit. "Tzoa goa!" he shouted as he ran.
It was over two later when Mal, Jayne, Kaylee and Zoe disembarked from the mule outside of House Aphrodite. Simon, River and Inara chose to stay behind. Simon on account of not wanting to witness a reunion between Kaylee and her ex, River and Inara stayed back for reasons they chose not to give to anyone.
The motley crew entered and was greeted immediately by a woman with golden blonde hair and forest green eyes. She moved towards the group with a flowing grace as if she was floating and a welcoming smile. "Welcome to House Aphrodite, I am Madame Rosalyn, how may I be of assistance?"
"Nee haoww, we're just here to meet a friend, young fella, green eyes, and wild hair?"
"Hmm yes Harry" Madame Rosalyn said before her eyes briefly took on a vacant look.
Kaylee knew what that look meant and could only smile and shake her head.
Madame Rosalyn blinked rapidly as she returned to the present. Her welcoming smile turned a little said "Most of us were so sad to hear that he would be leaving soon."
"Most of you? Shiny! I think I may like this guy." Jayne said with a perverted grin.
"He is in a private room in the back; please follow." Madame Rosalyn said.
The residents of Serenity were led through a tea parlor decorated in a royal purple motif. It was a quiet trek except for Jayne who let loose an appreciative whistle whenever he saw a particularly fetching female. Eventually they wound up at a solid oak door with the word privacy front and center.
"Here you are, if you would please remind Harry that it would be the epitome of rudeness to leave without saying good bye first." Madame Rosalyn said with a charming smile before floating away.
"Aiya! This guy is going to be my new hero." Jayne declared.
Mal knocked on the door, when he heard a muffled "Qing jin" he pushed the door in.
It was obviously a room reserved for V. , king size bed, a private bar, a plush suede couch off to the side of the room and sitting at a small round table built for two was Harry strumming an acoustic guitar.
It's all the same, only the names will change
Every day it seems we're wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night just to get back home
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Harry sang as everyone filed in, he stopped strumming his guitar and smiled at his old friends. "Man you lot a sight for sore eyes…except for you; I've never seen you before a day in my life." Harry said looking blandly at Jayne.
"I'm your new disciple; teach me how to sex up all those whores." Jayne said eagerly.
Harry raised a single black eyebrow and stared at the man. He turned to Mal. "Translation?"
"Ignore him he's talking fei hua, but you look good Harry." Mal said approaching Harry with n out stretched hand.
Harry clasped the captain's hand firmly, he repeated the gesture with Zoe and Jayne but he pulled Kaylee in to a bone crushing hug.
"So you two were really together back then?" Mal asked flabbergasted that he missed it.
"Uh yeah, didn't exactly hide it as far as I know. You didn't notice how much down time we spent together?" Harry asked as he stepped away from Kaylee and went to the mini fridge next to the bed. He grabbed something out of the fridge and also picked up two more wrapped parcels sitting on top. "I have a few gifts for you guys."
"Kaywin, this is for you." Harry said holding out the package he took from the fridge.
It was a stainless steel bowl with a foil top. Kaylee peeled the top back and squealed in a decibel only dogs could hear. She turned the bowl to show the others that it was filled completely with strawberries. "Oh. Harry they're beautiful."
Harry turned to Zoe and his expression went from happy to somber. "When I heard about Wash, I would have contacted you sooner but giving condolences to a friend over a wave didn't seem like a decent thing to do." Harry handed Zoe a package wrapped in black silk and tied together with a piece of gold ribbon.
The silk fell away to reveal a black bottle with the only thing to identify it as the most expensive whiskey in the Verse was a picture of a stalk of wheat outlined in gold.
"What I can do is help you empty this bottle and toast the best damn pilot in the Verse as well as a good damn friend."
"I'd like that Harry; Wash always said he lost a brother when you left the ship." Zoe said softly.
"I wish I'd known that, I would have stuck around a lot longer. Cap'n, I would have looked you up sooner but it took me a while to finish a task. This is for you." Harry held out the last parcel, it was also wrapped in silk, but it was long and cylindrical and it was tied together with a piece of twine.
Mal pulled the string and the silk fell away to reveal something he hadn't laid eyes on in over a year. He looked Harry straight in the eyes in complete understanding.
"It took quite a while to find him but I did."
"A sword? Someone stole your sword Mal?" Jayne asked.
"No, it belongs to that operative that chased us all over the Verse and destroyed Haven." Mal said staring down at the thing.
"It used to belong to him, he don't need it where he is."
AN: What do you think?