Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars, Pretty Little Liars owns me.
Batman and the Coconut Cupcake
They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But that night, so long ago, when I couldn't find a Coconut Cupcake, I knew they were wrong. Very wrong. And ever since, in the back of my mind, I knew it would forever be a possibility. That sometimes, the world just isn't fair and I won't be able to find one. But I will go around the world, search in all the shadows, until I find a freaking Coconut Cupcake. And there is nothing out there, not in the darkness, nothing so terrifying, that will stop me until I get one...
"What do you mean it's closed?" This is an outrage, unacceptable. She's Batman dammit.
"Well...I...it's closed," Lucas stutters. "I don't know what you want me to say," he shrugs, averting her eyes. Yeah, he should be nervous.
Paige stands up from her seat, walking over to him. "I don't want you to say anything," she stops in front of him, jabbing a finger into his chest. "I want you to get me a Coconut Cupcake."
He steps back and out of her reach, "I can get a box of cupcake mix fr-"
She shakes her head, "no, it has to be from Sal's Bakery."
"It's closed, what do-"
"Well open it," she cuts him off. This is important. This is the difference between eating a cupcake and craving it all night. She remembers the last time that happened, she had tremors all night.
He looks down, shaking his head. "I can't just open it, it's closed Paige."
"Well I can open it," she says, walking over to her desk and pressing her favorite button.
"What are you-oh my god!"
Paige smirks when the suit is revealed. Batman will get the cupcake.
Lucas laughs. It's loud and obnoxious and Paige wants nothing more than to hit him. Somehow she refrains. "Really? All this for a cupcake?"
Paige ignores him and walks over to the suit, now on display in all of it's black leather glory. "If you can't get me the cupcake, I'll get it myself," she says, touching the suit. It's been too long. "Can you let Emily know?" she asks him, eyes still on the suit.
"Paige, you know she's not going to want to-"
She turns around at that, already missing the suit and eyes him up, annoyed. "So not only do you return with no cupcake, now you're telling me you can't call my girlfriend?" She throws her hands up, "why do I keep you around, what is it that you do exactly?"
"I cook, I clean, I take your calls, I make up excuses when you're too...busy to attend your meetings, I'm the one you call any time your cape get's stuck in-"
Why did he always have to bring that up. It got stuck once...twice...three times max."Yeah, okay, I get it," she waves him off. They were wasting too much time. "Just tell Emily to put it on and come here," she turns back to the suit, only able to bask in it's beauty for a minute before she realizes Lucas hasn't left yet. She sighs. Why couldn't she just have a regular, quiet, do as she says Butler. No, she had to have one she became friends with and who rarely listened to her. She turns to him, eyes pleading, "please." If boss Paige didn't work, whiny Paige always did.
He sighs and Paige knows she's already won...whatever there was to be won. "She's not going to like this."
She can tell from his tone that he completely believes that and while he may be right, he knows nothing about some of the things Paige has gotten Emily to do. She smirks, not even close. "She doesn't like you," she says, opting for the always effective kindergarten tactics.
He snorts, "she'll like me more than you, after I deliver your message."
Ass hat. She needs to have him find her another Butler. This was not working. No respect. "Just get out," she says, pushing him out the door.
Paige isn't sure how long has passed, one minute she's putting on the suit, the next her feet are being pushed off her desk. She ignores the quite rude intruder, open her eyes and looks at the clock, 11:30, where did the hour go?
"You called?" So, not an intruder. Emily. She's looking down at Paige, her arms are crossed and there is a scowl on her face. God, her girlfriend was so sexy.
Paige clears her throat, "yes, Em, I...wait-" she stops, noticing Emily is very much in regular clothes. "What, why aren't you wearing the suit?"
Emily drops her hands and walks around the desk to where Paige is still sitting in her chair."It's tight, it's revealing, and it's stupid," she says pushing Paige's chair back, leaving enough room for her to sit in front of her, on the desk. "I wouldn't wear a costume that skimpy on Halloween. I've told you this a million times."
Paige grabs onto Emily's legs and pulls herself back to the spot she was previously at, moving Emily's crossed legs over one of the arms of the chair. "And I've told you a million times, it's not a costume, it's a...never mind. Can you please just wear it," she whines.
Emily shakes her head, "not a chance." Damn. Paige forgot, neither boss Paige, nor whiny Paige ever worked even a little bit on Emily. Though sometimes Emily does give in, it's because she wants to, not because of anything Paige does.
She frowns. "But Em, you're my sidekick. You have to wear it."
"No, I'm your girlfriend. If you want to go around saving the world, fine, but I already told you, you're not dragging me into this."
"But Emmm," Paige can't stop the whine even if she wanted to. "What's a superhero without their sidekick?"
Emily places her hands on either side of Paige shoulder's and leans in smiling. "One loser, instead of two?"
Paige leans back in her chair. She can feel her frustration growing. She gets absolutely no respect in this house. "Emily, what I do is important work. I save lives."
Emily chuckles and leans back."The most you've ever done, is save Mrs. Feldmans' cat. And all you got for it were a couple of Oreo's. She didn't even thank you."
"Batman doesn't need to be thanked. Her aura was thankful."
"So you spend all this money on the gadgets, an impractical leather costume, and a stupid car...all for some store bought cookies and a thankful aura? I'm pretty sure comic book Batman got a lot more than that."
"Hey, you have no problem using the Mega XT to make toast every morning."
"It's a toaster that lights up, what else can I use it for?"
"And this suit," Paige ignores her comment and stands up, "hides my identity from potential enemies, lest they use it to hurt those closest to me. Meaning you, meaning it's super practical." She needed a drink.
"Potential enemies?" Emily's voice is right behind her and Paige knows she's following her. "What, like a dog lover?"
Did she have a snappy comment for everything? Paige disregards this one too. "And the Bat Mobile is not a stupid car, it's amazing."
"The back seats are amazing, I'll give you that," Emily says, grabbing one of Paige's hands and pulling Paige to her. "Although, I think that has less to do with the actual seats and more to do with what we've done on them," she whispers in her ear.
In any other moment, at any other time, on any other day, Paige would turn around and kiss her, maybe even reenact the very things Emily was talking about. But today, she really wanted a cupcake. "Why can't you support me?" she says, turning around.
Emily pulls her closer, clasping her hands behind Paige's back. "I do support you, you know that. I just don't understand why you choose to waste all your money on..." Emily let's her go and steps back and gestures to the room, "all this."
Paige rolls her eyes and huffs. "Forget it, I'll just do this by myself," she says, turning and making her way to the door. She doesn't get very far when she is jerked back. She cranes her neck and sees Emily's foot on her cape. No. Respect. "Emily, you cannot just step on my cape," she glares.
Emily grins and lifts her foot up, "I'm sorry, for not supporting this...and for stepping on your cape," she finishes, the grin turning into the genuine Emily smile Paige loves so much.
Paige sighs, knowing full well she forgave her before she even apologized. She just didn't understand. "It's fine, just don't let it happen again," she says, trying to sound serious.
Emily kisses her. "Never ever," she kisses her again. "So tell me why I'm putting on the stupid costume?"
Paige beams, not even bothered by the incorrect use of the word costume again. The only thing in her head now is Emily in tight leather, eating a Coconut Cupcake.
Paige shakes her head to clear her mind of the inappropriate thoughts, making a mental note to bring it up again at a more appropriate time. "Sal's is closed."
Emily stares at her, confusion written all over her face. "Sal's?"
Paige nods, "yeah, you know the-"
"Bakery?" Emily's voice is loud and annoyed. "Are you serious?"
Paige just nods again because now she's kind of, just a little scared.
"All of this over a stupid cupcake?"
"Em, it's not a stupid-"
"You have a serious problem."
"I want a Coconut Cupcake," Paige pouts.
"You can get it tomorrow," Emily says, pulling Paige by the hand and making her way to the door.
Paige stops," no Em, I need it tonight." Emily turns and looks at her. "You know how I get, I won't be able to think about anything else," she finishes.
Emily suddenly smirks, "what if I keep your mind occupied by other things..." she says, trailing off and raising an eyebrow.
Paige smirks with her. Coconut Cupcakes or Emily's Cupcakes...ah priorities. "Only if you wear the suit."
Emily shakes her head.
Paige frowns. "God, you drive a hard bargain." Cupcakes or Emily. Emily or cupcakes. She pulls Emily out of the office. "Come on. The cupcakes can wait until tomorrow." Emily, always Emily.
You either die trying to get the cupcake or you live long enough to finally get it...
Or sometimes your girlfriend gives you an offer that you just can't refuse, cupcakes be damned.
This was so out of my comfort zone that I just had to do it. I apologize for how short it is (I didn't know what else to do) and my overuse of the word suit (I had no idea what else to call it). Anyhow, thank you to anyone that read this or any of the other fics from Paily week. Whether you liked it or reviewed it, favorited it, whatever, I appreciate it all. Totally boosted my confidence, so thanks. I'll probably be posting an angsty-ish fic from Emily's pov tomorrow or something , just to get me out of this cutesy Paige groove I've been in. Again, I appreciate I all.