A/N: This went from angsty to kind of funny and I have no idea how that happened. Sorry? Oh well. This is from the "I'm dirty" line in 8x07. Basically a What Should Have Happened fic. Still won't write explicit porn, sorry!

"I'm... dirty." The enchanting blue eyes flew over to Dean, and he knew. He remembered exactly what the grungy angel was talking about.

Rutting against each other while on the run from leviathan and other fuglies of Purgatory. Messy and sloppy blowjobs whenever Benny was off searching for clues on how to get out. Then, the cautious end of it all: that one time when Dean had slicked himself up and paused at Cas's entrance; a question in his eyes. Castiel had moaned Dean's name out, thrusting up with his hips and Dean knew his question was answered.
That had been their last tryst before they found the portal. Dean had been excited. He wanted to find Sam, to explain that he and Cas were going to be a thing, and that hunts were gonna be fantastic and life was good-

But then he let go. When Cas had needed him the most, he let go. In the (weeks? Months? Time moved so differently there...) time he was alone in Purgatory, who knew what type of thoughts he had? It was traumatizing to even think about.

Maybe he got over Dean.

Maybe he realized that hey, he's a freakin' angel of the Lord. He didn't need a damned, muddy human sliding into his body. It wasn't even his body, except for the fact that he was the only one in it anymore.

Maybe he became disgusted with what they had done to each other.

While Purgatory was clear and concise, Earth was painful and muddled and confusing and broken; where his thoughts and actions in Purgatory seemed like a dream. Everything was a dream, nowadays. A nightmare, to be exact.

But then Cas came back, and was staring him down like the only human in existence, and suddenly it all crashed down on him with terrifying clarity and resounding shame. He had defiled one of the universe's most pristine, sacred objects. And this pristine, holy object had only begged for more, harder, faster.

They were both dirty. Filthy. Not much better than animals themselves. Dean barely managed to shake himself back into the present to nod his head at the angel he had destroyed. "Yeah, that tends to happen."

"I would appreciate it if you could assist me, Dean. My powers are not at full capacity." Castiel gestured to the motel bathroom. Damn it.

Dean nodded thickly, managing to cover up the crack in his voice as he responded, "Sure. C'mon, Cas - let's get you cleaned up."

He started the hot water while Cas took of his clothes. "I'm still not completely sure how to..." he took one look at Dean's hardened face and the words died in his throat. "You don't have to help me, Dean - not if it makes you uncomfortable"

"Shut up and get in the shower, Cas," Dean grumbled out after a moment. "I'll be here if you need any help, okay?"

Suddenly, Castiel was right before his face, pinning him up against one side of the bathroom wall. "Dean," Castiel growled, ethereal blue eyes sparking with power, "I haven't seen you in months. Either you come in the shower with me, or you leave and go talk to Sam."

His ultimatum seemed to clear up a lot of crap in Dean's head. Immediately he was pulling the angel's face into his, savoring the pure scent of Castiel underneath the dirt and sweat and fear that the angel wore as a mask. He stopped for a moment, smirked, and then pushed Cas away.

Confused, the angel looked on with lost eyes as Dean peeked around the doorway to where Sammy sat, inspecting his fingernails and unsuspecting that some serious blasphemy was about to go down. "Hey, Sammy - get outta here, would ya? It's hard to keep it up when you're breathin' down our necks."

Sam looked up, alarmed, as the words finally made sense in that big brain of his. "You - but you - boobs?" he stumbled out at last, his facial expressions ranging from a terrified puppy to an enraged moose. Dean laughed obnoxiously and shrugged, waggling devilish eyebrows at his baby brother.

"I'd get out of here before the begging starts, man," Dean chuckled as Castiel caught on and mojo-ed his clothes off. Sam blanched as his brother went from clothed to not in the time span of a blink, and then rushed out the door before anything else could be done.

Dean turned around to face the very-naked angel of the Lord, a vile smirk playing on the edge of his lips. "Just how much did you miss me, angel-face?"