The Disease that Killed Love

Chapter 1-Yue

I had never been more relieved to see my son still alived, even more so, standing up, smiling his brightest smile, a smile he had not put on until we acknowledged each other. I had to pick him up, weigh him at the same time. He's forever losing weight. Some people would be envious, but it was deadly. I frowned.

I perhaps, expressed and felt more emotion for this child than I ever had, even towards Clow Reed. But that I cannot really compare; I no longer really remember. Before, I had a father. This time, I am one.

Jingxi had stayed home the other day, because of the pigtails. I had never said the word before, but when Syaoran told me I really wanted to say ' kawaii!'. Yukito said it for me though, sparing me the necessity.

Syaoran was very happy that day, and stayed home willingly. It made me feel so warm, knowing my child was glad I was here. I transformed to my true form when Yukito had gone up to put his things away. I came down.

We just spent the whole day talking, Xuyan beside Syaoran. Jingxi told me about soccer practice, how Yamazaki never got over talking too much and how he kept on fooling Xuyan. About how Eriol once hit the ball with his head and his glasses fell off, leaving him looking around blindly. They told me about Sakura who never got out of the habit of lateness although it was all Kero's fault. They told me about the time Sakura stamped Fujitaka's foot, thinking it was Touya. So excited they were, I didn't miss college at all, although it was a rather new experience as well as an exciting one, stressful though.

That night, Xuyan went to bed, very tired. Syaoran stayed up with me. We talked.

Then Syaoran wanted to go out. We went outside. No one was there.

" Can we do it again?" He asked me. " I loved that feeling." He looked at me hopefully.

How could I refuse?

I gathered him in my arms and flapped my wings. We rose, high, above everything, seeing everything, the world was so small. And I remembered how Syaoran was able to glide in the wind, so good he was at it. So I let go of him. He glided above me, and I flapped my wings. He soared with it, the updraft, and I flapped again and again. I heard his laughter, so full of delight, a little child, simply enjoying what he has.

He's so definetely not going tomorrow. I had thought. I glided down, Syaoran followed, the updraft missing. We glided down, away from Tomoeda, away from the cities, straight into...

The woods was peaceful, quiet, silent, as if all were at rest. I knew they weren't, though, and I held Syaoran's hand.

" What's that?" He pointed, whispering.
I looked. He had good nightvision, and he had saw what I later saw. A large black hole in the midst of rock. A cave.

" Can we go look?" He asked.

I was a little uneasy. I didn't like enclosed spaces. I was not claustrophobic, but I just don't like them.

" Alright," I agreed reluctantly. After all, we had all night. I was too careless that night. Way too careless. Normally, I would have avoided going in that cave, especially with Syaoran. But that night, something drew me in. Like mind control, I had to go in, just as Syaoran did.



It really wasn't like me. I was usually cautious, alert and tense. But that night, as we ventured towards the mouth of the cave I felt only a childish curiosity, a strange excitement, almost like I was discovering something new.

Once we went in, all the moonlight was blocked out. I created light within myself and saw where we were. The cave was like a huge hallway, connecting several chambers. There were carvings, people I didn't recognize. People I didn't know.

We went deeper, daring ourselves. Syaoran clutched tightly at my hand. Our footsteps echoed down; there was something magical about this place, magical, fascinating, eerie.

And before we knew it, we were quite lost. Not because we weren't careful. The passages moved, and closed behind us. Syaoran cringed against me, afraid, scared.

I offered a little light with my moon magic, however dim it was. And up ahead, was a smooth, flat and high wall. Intricate carvings were set into the smooth wall, and they glowed slightly, barely enough to see, but I saw it. Syaoran went forward, a little enchanted, almost recognizing the carvings.

From his first appearance until the scene, undoubtedly of the passing of the test, Syaoran had a visible heart with a sword through it. I went closer and saw the sword had a skull, as if the sword was of poison.

From then on, there was Syaoran yet again, this time, with another Syaoran inside him, chained to himself, but trying to get out. He was in his robes, with the dark circle and three white blatches. There was a carving of Tomoyo, her hand holding a flower, her eyes closed, a dark aura covering her, or actually a carving of a dark aura. There were the three sorcerors, doomed to die. Syaoran, being embraced by a tall angel, his hands tied together in front of him, his head bowed, kneeling, with the angel protecting him. There was a sword, with strange inscriptions that I didn't recognize. There was Syaoran again, leaping, nearly flying, in his robes, yet those were not his. There was a dragon instead of the round circle, which almost covered him with its snake like body. His arms were spread, free, almost as if gliding, which he probably was. Xuyan made his first appearance, his pole a staff, he was raising it, in command, dressed in robes of an emperor. Sakura had the fifty three cards above in a smooth arc over her head, her staff also raised, but it was a different staff, no longer childish.

" You fate." I whispered. " Oh my god, what is this place, a cave of fates?"
" Otou-san." Syaoran called.
I bent down and held him close to me. " Let's go see what your future is." I followed the carvings down, reading them.

But it ended with Syaoran, something bursting out of his chest, his head thrown back, eyes closed, hair flapping in the wind, his sleeves like a limp pair of wings behind him. And then there was a drip drip drip, and I realized that the wall behind the carving was completely eroded, unlike the smooth wall we had just faced.

I was suddenly filled with dread. Sensing danger, I gathered the child into my arms, and then hurried to where we once were. This time, there was a long hallway, leading straight out into the woods. Dawn was come.



After that night, everything became normal, the opposite of the logical turn. Xuyan, playing the violin, along with Syaoran, went over to Eriol's home for a rehearsal. The concert was organized by Kaho-san, with another friend in Japan she had made the passing year. Syaoran, Eriol and Xuyan were going to perform a few trios by Beethoven, Schubert, and Mozart.

There came a series of tuning, of course, as goes with all pieces that needed them. This time, no tuning fork was required, because Eriol couldn't spend so much time tuning every string on his old, falling apart piano. He apologized for the creaky pedal, but it couldn't be helped.

" I'm planning on getting a new one, perhaps when I go back to England." He said. " But good god, this is a Steinway, and a German one at that." He was upset.

Then came a series of criticisms, in which Xuyan pointed out that the voice of the piano was generally flat, and Syaoran had asked if it was made anywhere between 1960 and 1980, and complained about something with teflons. Eriol grew really sad. Syaoran noticed, and then said something about rosin, and then both of them threatened to use it on Eriol's piano, much to the boy's distress. Of course, the boys didn't really do that.

And what normally happens with students without a teacher happened. They got into a quarrel. Something about whether there was a crescendo or not. It was quite amusing for Yukito, to watch them. There was no violence, thankfully, but there was a lot of talking. All of them are very good for eleven year olds, but nonetheless, none would submit. Finally they just sat down and tried again.

And continued arguing.



It was moments like these, when one forgets all troubles, just enjoys the moment in time. Little children, chatting, laughing and teasing, just enjoying the joys of life in that moment, however short it was. Living for that moment. Happy. Quiet. Filled with love. That feeling, only music could express. No language, however sophisticated, could match it. It was moments like these when I was filled with hope, a hope that perhaps there will be more moments like these, happy, normal, a hope that my child would be cured and will perhaps go through more of these. More of those moments in time.