Warped

A/N - Another fic from a few years back, this was inspired by Army of Darkness among other random things. Just some silly fluff really. Enjoy.

1

"Yo! Ollie! I'm home!"

Abby dropped her bag by the door and tossed the mail onto the hall table. She heard a muffled shout from the direction of the kitchen, and shook her head. Ollie was obviously into something. Especially being home this early in the day.

Abigail and Olivia Trent were twins, thirty years old. Their parents had died soon after the girls had turned eighteen and left to them the big rambling house they'd grown up in. Neither woman had the heart to sell it. They'd moved in, meaning to only stay long enough to do some work and get it presentable to buyers. Temporary had turned into permanent. They had an unspoken agreement that whoever got married first would become the full owner of the house. And since both women were obsessed with work, that didn't seem to be in the immediate future.

Olivia was a professor of mythology at the local college. Abigail was a police officer, a detective actually. She'd just gotten her promotion three months before and putting in sixteen hours days was not a strange occurrence.

But she was starting her vacation the next morning. Abby planned on doing nothing more than sitting around the house, working on her tan, and avoiding criminal activity. She shrugged her jacket off and went toward the kitchen.

Abby gasped as she walked through the archway. There were pots and pans scattered everywhere. Bowls covered every available surface. Something crunched underfoot. Abby looked down and grimaced. Eggshells were strewn across the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked, gaze resting on her sister. They were twins but not identical. Ollie was blonde with soulful hazel eyes. Abby was brunette, her eyes a soft sky blue.

Ollie grinned at her, her face a mess of what looked like sugar. She was stirring something in a pot on the stove. "Hey sis. How was work?" She sounded not the least bit put out by her mess. Abby sighed in exasperation.

"Obviously not as exciting as your day." She said wryly. "I ask again. What the hell?"

Ollie's grin grew wider. "Oh…one of the kids brought in a book of spells he found. I thought I'd whip something up out of it. Show and tell."

"Gimme a break." Abby sighed and took another look around. "You had to destroy the kitchen to do it? I thought we agreed you wouldn't do this stuff in the house anymore."

"Where is your sense of adventure?" Ollie asked, still grinning. She poured brown liquid into the boiling pot on the stove.

"Where is your sensibility?" Abby went to her sister's side and looked down into the pot, her nose wrinkling at the smell.

"I dunno. I'm on a roll though." Ollie laughed and dumped a cup of green round…things…into the pot.

"Ok, since you are gonna make me drag it out of you, what exactly are you doing?" Abby was interested in spite of herself. Leave it to Ollie to believe this stuff would actually work.

"A time potion." Ollie said it as if it were an everyday thing. Abby raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that look. You don't believe in it, so what's the harm?"

"What's the harm? Have you not looked around the kitchen?" Abby asked rhetorically. Ollie shook her head.

"Imagine this for me. What if there was a way to go back? To go back to the day Mom and Dad died, and warn them, or stop the robbery. Something." Ollie looked beseechingly at her sister. Abby sighed. Of course. She should have known.

Their parents had been on the way home on night after going to the movies. They'd stopped at a gas station for some reason. They walked into an armed robbery. The gunman had been young, nervous. He'd shot without seeing that it was just a couple out on the town, not the cops he thought were sneaking up on him.

That was why Abby had joined the police force as soon as she'd graduated high school. First working dispatch, then patrolling. And now her detective badge. She knew that her mom and dad would have been proud of her.

Ollie on the other hand had taken a more enigmatic approach to her mourning. She'd gone to college and studied…strange things. Urban legends, myths, witches, vampires. Abby had never realized a person could get a degree in that kind of thing, let alone end up teaching it at a college. Ollie was exceedingly popular with her classes, not only because she was young and pretty, but because she loved her work. She drew people in.

"Sis, you know this stuff is a bunch of hogwash." Abby said, shaking the memories and looking at the worn book that was open on the counter. It was handwritten. The writing was scrolling, curling, impossible to read at the angle she was seeing it.

"Maybe. Maybe not." Ollie smiled. "I had to play hell to get some of these ingredients. I had to go to that shop downtown."

"Olivia." Abby looked at her sister, shocked. The shop she was referring to was nothing more than a couple of old ladies, conning other old ladies out of money. Not only did they claim to be psychics, they sold all manner of strange things at their dingy shop.

"I know. I made it there and back in one piece, I didn't get my fortune read, so I consider it mission accomplished." Ollie grinned again. "Two more ingredients. You wanna go with me?"

"Since I highly doubt you're actually going anywhere, that's a dumb question." Abby said wryly.

"You'll see, big sis." Ollie cracked an egg and added it to the mix. Abby just shook her head. She was six minutes older than Ollie. And Ollie only called her big sis when she wanted to get her way.

"This is ridiculous."

"Look, non-believer, if you don't wanna join, then get out. I can't have you in here messing up my vibes." Ollie said absently. She was studying that damn book.

"Messing…up…your…vibes." Abby repeated slowly.

"Yes. Sometimes this stuff only works if you believe it. And you don't, obviously."

"I don't understand why you do!" Abby said, not trying to hide her annoyance.

"Yes you do. You just don't want to admit it." Ollie picked up the final cup and looked at Abby. "Last chance. In or out?"

"You're gonna kill us both. Probably just mixed up a nice dynamite soup there." Abby muttered, watched as Ollie tilted the cup. Three round black objects fell into the pot. "Ok. Nothing happened. Told ya." Abby said after waiting a moment.

"We have to say the spell." Ollie rolled her eyes as if this thought should have occurred to her sister in the first place.

"This is so stupid." Abby muttered, standing shoulder to shoulder with Ollie. Ollie picked up the book and held it so her sister could see.

"It'll work." Ollie muttered. She pointed at the passage. "Actually all we have to do is say 'water and fire, fire and water'. That should do it."

"What, three times?" Abby asked, shaking her head at the serious tone in her sister's voice.

"No. We do it until it happens."

"Great. We'll be standing here all night." Abby muttered. Ollie took her hand and nodded.

"Water and fire. Fire and water. Water and fire. Fire and water. Water and fire. Fire and water…" Their voices took on a monotonous tone. Abby felt ridiculous. Ollie was clutching at her hand, her eyes staring into the pot.

Abby gave it her full attention, unaware she was still saying the cadence over and over. Ollie had turned the burners off. The pot was still boiling. Not just boiling, but boiling over the side. Green smoke began pouring from the metal pot, its smell making Abby feel like gagging. The pot began hopping on the burner, its contents splashing the stovetop and counter around it. A few drops fell on Abby's arm. She jerked, expecting a burn. Instead the green-tinted liquid felt icy cold on her skin. She shivered and looked at her sister.

Ollie pulled her eyes from the dancing pot and looked at Abby. "I think maybe I goofed it somewhere."

"No shit…" Abby did not get to finish what she'd wanted to say. The pot exploded with a green burst of light. Abby felt herself knocked backward, blinded by the intense blast. Ollie's hand was yanked from hers as she fell with a thud to the floor. Her head smacked against the wood plank floor. Abby saw nothing but darkness after that.

Her head was pounding.

That was the first thing that registered.

The next thing was that the light was way too bright in the kitchen. She had not noticed that Ollie had turned on the overhead light. Too busy being shocked by the mess.

"Good goin' Ollie." Abby muttered and tried to blink her eyes open. She got a sharp pain in her head for the effort. How hard had she hit the floor? She forced a hand up to feel the damage but stopped before she could actually touch her hair. Since when was the kitchen carpeted?

That was when sounds started to register. Birds chirping. The music of water running lazily over rocks. A frog croaking somewhere. Abby tried again to open her eyes and the light stung them. Blinking rapidly, she pushed herself up with her elbows, keeping her head as still as possible.

It was bright. Midday. That was not possible. Abby had gotten home a bit after five. The sun should have been sinking low on the horizon. "Fuck. How long were we out, Ollie?" She asked, her voice hoarse. She was thirsty. The sound of water was about driving her nuts.

Abby blinked a few more times, her eyes adjusting to her surroundings. She definitely was not in the house. Was not even in the yard. She had no idea where the hell she was. She was laying on a sloped piece of ground that ended at a wide stream. Trees lined it on either side, going on in all directions. There was no sign of the house, of any house, of anything that would tell her where she was.

Abby sat all the way up and finally rubbed the back of her head. She had quite a lump forming there. Her hand came away clean, so she wasn't bleeding. That was a plus. She eyed the water distrustfully. Her mouth was so dry. She swallowed and got nothing but a click in her throat.

Movement to her left made Abby turn her head too fast. She moaned at the pain that shot down the back of her neck into her shoulders. A boy stood there, no more than ten feet away. He was staring at her, eyes wide. He was maybe six, seven years old with shaggy dark hair and…Abby squinted. He was wearing strange clothes. A brown tunic-like top. Dark, rough woven pants. And boots. He looked like a stable boy in any one of the hundreds of medieval movies she'd seen throughout her life.

"Hey, kid." She managed to croak out. She tried to rise to her feet, but her legs refused to support her. The boy did not speak, but he did take a big step back, as if afraid she was going to attack him. "It's all right. I'm not gonna hurt you." He did not seem to believe her. He kept his distance. "Is the water all right to drink?" She managed to grind out. The boy slowly nodded his head. Abby sighed with relief, believing him. She crawled to the stream and scooped a handful of cold water into her mouth. Nothing had ever tasted so good.

She turned back to the boy. He had followed her but kept the same distance that he'd had when she was laying down. Abby just looked at him, waiting to see what he'd do.

"Are you an angel?" He asked, his voice soft. Abby had to grin at that. She'd been called a lot of things in her time, but angel was never one of them.

"Kid, I don't know what I am." Abby realized he was looking at her clothes the same way she'd looked at him. She glanced down at herself. Well-worn jeans and a button-down shirt. Black boots. Her usual work attire. Being a detective meant dressing down whenever she wanted. She hadn't had a chance to change before Ollie had done…whatever the hell she'd done. Her police issue gun was still pressed against her back in the quick-release holster she wore to work.

The kid didn't say a word. Instead he took off, turning on his heel and running back through the trees. "Great. Nice talkin' to ya." Abby said sarcastically. She tried standing again. Her legs managed to hold her up. Cradling her head in her hands, she looked around, taking in the open ground, the huge trees, the water. Where the hell was she?