Never Mix Roofies and Vegas

This is my entry for the Down, Maggie, Down – Maggie O'Connell Smack Down hosted by the lovely Catastrophia. Summary: Bella's had enough of Maggi encroaching on her man. With the help of Charlotte, a little pill, and Mike revenge will be sweet and very public. Note: I touched it up a bit from the contest entry.

Title: Never Mix Roofies and Vegas

Rating: M (drugs and alcohol)

Summary: Bella's had enough of Maggi encroaching on her man. With the help of Charlotte, a little pill, and Mike revenge will be sweet and very public.

Disclaimer: Stephanie owns Twilight and Catastrophia owns MaMC.

Contest: Down, Maggie, Down

Never Mix Roofies and Vegas

"Mike I will make you a deal, if you leave me alone, forget my name, and stop harassing me every time you're in a room with me I will get you a date with a hot movie star." I stress the word hot.

Mike looked at me with a smarmy smile. This guy is such a slime ball. "Who is she?" He took the bait hook line and sinker, I smiled to myself.

"Maggie O'Connell." When I said the name I swear the fool nearly creamed his self. His eyes widened.

"Holy Shit, are you sure you can deliver?"

"I don't carry the Cullen name for nothing." For once this name was going to pay off. "She shows up at my house all the time." I said airily making it sound like Maggie and I were the best of friends.

Oh yeah, Mike was taking the bait. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, making sure my breath caressed his ear just so. "And Mike, she likes them young, buff, and energetic if you know what I'm saying."

"But, what about?" I put a finger over his lips to stop the question.

"Shh, you let me worry about that. Maggie has told me she needs a little variety. You are just perfect for her." I whispered to the jerk. I smiled one last time then turned with a flounce and calmly walked away. Stage one complete.

My dad is a cop and even though we don't live together I still get the warnings and safety speeches. "Bella, every guy wants to get in your pants, beware of dark alleys, keep your pepper spray handy, well you get it. Blah, ba, blah, ba, blah, blah, blah. It starts to sound like an adult from a Charlie Brown cartoon after a while. It's irritating, but I take what he says to heart. There are predators out there.

Dad is thorough, I was drilled on Stranger Danger as a child and now that I'm older it's advanced to what to do when a date goes bad and how to protect yourself in a crowd. He has also schooled me on the danger of date rape drugs. I can spot a jerk carrying a roofie a mile away.

Last month I caught some creep trying to roofie my friend Charlotte. Needless to say I nipped that in the bud and as an added perk I took the pill from him. I don't know why I took it, something just made me. Don't blame me, I'm a pack rat and everything has a use, eventually.

Maggie O'Connell has been a thorn in my side since the moment I saw her. She wants Edward and will do anything to get him. She has a way into our home and has walked in on us having sex! Nothing shames this bitch. The smug looks and sly innuendos she throws at me have piled up and now I'm at my breaking point. She wants what is mine and mine only, my husband Edward.

Seriously, the bitch needs to fall down a deep well somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to kill her, dreamed about it maybe, but no I don't want her death. I just want her total degradation and downfall. Maggie O'Connell has given me a use for my magic pill.

"I'm so going to hell for this" Charlotte whines as she helps me load a giggling and staggering Maggie into the back seat of her car. Slipping Maggie the pill was easier than I thought. She walked in as I was fixing a glass of wine. The Bitch strolled into my kitchen like she owned it. I had planned well and I knew she was overdue for one of her 'visits.'

I was polite as I could be and told her that Edward was in his office. I sweetly asked if she would like a glass of wine before I poured myself one. She was suspicious and arched an eyebrow at me and I lowered my eyes and played like Edward had admonished me for being jealous. I told her how I was doing my part and how I would appreciate if she would to. I said it was for Edward's piece of mind of course. Saying that was like throwing gas on a flame.

She fell for it, smugly sipping the wine, looking over the glass at me with those laughing vicious eyes. She knew that if Edward asked me to behave I would, but she most certainly wouldn't. I took my time fixing the snack for Edward, who wasn't really at home. She went on and on about her and Edward and the things they had done, making little cuts about my age and looks. The more she talked the less guilty I felt. You have to admit she brought it on herself.

It took her about twenty minutes till her eyes glassed over. When she was pliable and well stoned I asked if she liked hot young blonds. Her smile looked disturbingly like the Cheshire cats when she answered me and told me as long as he has a functioning cock, she didn't care what color his hair was. Maybe I should call the football team to help Mike? Well anyway, step two complete.

We meet Mike at outside the school. He was leaning against the passenger door of his red Porsche with his arms crossed. Charlotte pulled in next to him and we got out. He looked at us and asked where she was. We looked back at the car to find that she had fallen over in the back seat. It took the three of us to help a vacuous, giggling Maggie out of our car and into his.

Mike rushed to open her door and we plopped her in with very little grace. The woman had the consistency of a rubber band on fertility drugs. She was loose and ready to go. You could see the proof because our dear Maggie's' legs were splayed open for all to see she had omitted a certain item of clothing.

I tried to keep a straight face as I make introductions. "Mike, this it Maggie, Maggie this is Mike." His eyes were big as a saucers and you could see drool in the corner of his mouth about to roll out. Someone should tell him that is not an attractive look for him.

Maggie grins at me with a glassy eyed grin and said. "Hi Mike, Mickey, Mike, Mike, uh what's your name handsome." She beckoned him closer and when he leaned down she said. "Let's go have a drink Mickey Mike." Then she cupped his balls and gave them a squeeze. It was classic Maggie behavior. Even stoned she was a man eating shark.

"Thanks Bella!" Mike yelled as he rushed to close the door and run to the other side of the car. As he drove away he honked the horn twice and Maggie waved like a loon from the passenger seat.

"I hope they make it to where they are going. She leaned over when they reached the exit out of the parking lot. I think she was giving him road head." Charlotte said shaking her head in disgust. "Ick!"

I look over to Charlotte and smiled. "Step three complete. Now for step four give me that asshole paparazzi's number.

"Bella, don't you mean step two and then three?"

"No, I've got it correct." I smirk at her.

"Care to tell me what step four is?" She arches an eyebrow at me.

"Well I may have had Maggie call the airport and reserve a plane and pilot for tonight."

"And what would be the destination for that plane Bella?"

"Vegas darling my darling Charlotte, Maggie reserved a flight to Vegas." My grin gets larger, "I also mentioned for the flight to be well stocked with alcohol."

Charlotte grins, "Mike never refuses free drinks. Devious young lady, I'm so proud."

"Yes, I thought so myself. Now give me that number."

The phones started ringing around six the next morning. I ignored them and let Edward answer. I heard his mumbled "Pardon, what did you say," and then a clipped "No comment," before he slammed the phone down. Needless to say, the phones rang all day. I put on my Beats and danced the day away. I was in my happy place and couldn't wait for the Entertainment news to start.

The entertainment news that night was awash with Maggie O'Connell. Maggie was getting so much publicity, I'm sure she was just twitching with the joy of it all. I leaned back on the leather couch and watched Harvey Levin from TMZ. His smile was like a happy well fed shark. God love him. I do hope he enjoys this to his fullest ability. I had to check with Perez next to see what that handsome little devil had to say about our sweet, sweet Maggie.

"We have it first folks. Last night Hollywood's bright and shining star Maggie O'Connell was married in Vegas!" I did a classic spit take. I just ruined the white carpet with Pom pomegranate juice and I could care less! Oh what the hell? "And get this she married an eighteen year old high school kid! We have the exclusive film of the wedding." Grainy footage taken from some ones camera phone was playing as Harvey talked. It showed Mike and Maggie at a cheap wedding chapel being wed by a rotund Elvis impersonator in full Elvis regalia. When they kissed they both missed on the first two tries. "We are waiting for a comment from longtime boyfriend Edward Cullen but every request we make gets a no comment from his people. Our question is how long has this illicit romance been going on? How young does Maggie like them to be?"

It was a riot. But in my mind was the thought, it could be me and Edward. One day the ball would drop. But like Scarlett I wasn't going to worry about that now. I was going to watch TMZ and bask in the glow of well-planned revenge.

Then Maggie O'Connell news didn't end that day. It went on for months. It was the gift that kept on giving. Needless to say there were no more visits from Maggie at my house. I almost missed her, not!

I did get one call though. Just her voice on the line saying only one word. She

Called me a bitch and hung up. And that was the end of my problem.

TMZ a week later, Harvey loves the news now days. "Not only did she marry a high school kid but get this, they filmed the consummation of the marriage! How stupid can you get? Rumors are that the young groom stands to make a nice sum from the divorce. Add that to the sex tape and this kid is going to make a fortune. It is rumored that he is about to start the talk show circuit.

AN: Farfetched I know but wouldn't it be lovely. I have no idea how the drugs work I just cruised wiki for information on the subject.

Thanks go again to Catastrophia for her wonderful story Me and Mr. Cullen. Check it out.

Well I'm half way finished with the next chapter of The Dark Dance so look for an update near the end of the month. I took December off so I'm writing as fast as I can.