A letter lost, a lover found
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter in any shape or form.
This is a oneshot and there won't be any sequel. Unfortunately, my plot was set and I couldn't go around it much. Both Voldemort and Harry are more OOC than usual in my stories. Please bear with me.
I went into hiding after Sirius's death. Dumbledore said it was for the best, and while a part of me rejoiced that I'll never see the Dursleys again, another part of me was saddened at the thought that I also won't see Hogwarts, possibly never again.
It's been a year of sitting around, training.
At last, someone takes my training seriously. I'm dueling with Moody and Shacklebolt and professor Snape reluctantly agreed to take on my Occlumency training again. This time, I am determined to learn it, so much that I am willing to endure the humiliation of having to beg him to teach me.
Professor Dumbledore shows me memories in his Pensieve, memories about Tom Riddle. I'm studying my enemy so I will know how to kill him.
But oh, the Pensieve shows so much more than professor Dumbledore intended me to learn!
I have seen a young Tom Riddle, hardened by the poverty and the gratuitous cruelty at the orphanage, independent and proud, unwilling to let himself be helped by an adult, and I remember how I shamelessly bent and lapped up any sign of affection like a dog, and how many of my misfortunes came from that stupid behavior. My respect for young Tom Riddle only grew, and Dumbledore could do nothing to stop it, no matter how much of a monster he tried to portray the young boy as.
His parents…well, I can't account to them. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like, to be rejected by your only living parent, and to live in shame knowing what your mother was. I can blame him for murder, but I'm not blaming him first.
The memory where he's manipulating the new professor – Slughorn into telling him what a Horcrux is shows magnificent skill. He is daring, in an almost Gryffindor way, but he knows the old man won't refuse him anything because of the charming persona he's carefully crafted along the years.
My feelings for him change even as I train; at night, lying in my bed, exhausted, I wonder where things went so wrong. What happened to the clever, charming Head boy? What twisted him into the single-minded stupid monster he is now? Was it the Dark Arts? Was it the Horcruxes?
My dreams are filled with sweet darkness, whispering his forbidden name.
If you were to ask me my one wish, I would tell you that it hasn't changed since I was kid. I want a family; that's the only think I ever wanted since I could remember.
Sirius died childless, taking the name Black with him to the grave forever.
I don't want the same to happen to the name Potter. Thinking that I might be the last Potter makes my chest hurt.
I know that come 17, I will fight Voldemort for real, but until then I must do something to establish a family and continue the Potter line.
And here comes the beautiful, fiery Ginny, who I always got along with, and who loves me a lot. I could say that I love her, if I knew what love is.
But I know that what I feel for her surpasses by far the flimsy interest I had in Cho.
I see Ginny as the woman that will be by my side, as the mother of my children. Is it so bad if I choose her to fulfill my selfish desires?
I gave her a ring and I proposed properly, on my knees, on her birthday. I begged her to marry me the day she turns 17, or maybe the day after, and she agreed.
I kissed her sweetly the day she agreed to make my dreams reality, and even though I might have wanted to do more, I decided that I will have my beautiful wife's body for the first time on our wedding night. She will be as pure as the snow white dress she will wear on her wedding day, and I will be the happiest groom in the world.
I heard this story about Harry proposing to Ginny. To be honest, I find it slightly disturbing, since I can remember another pair doing the same. I can't help but to compare him and Ginny to James and Lily.
James and Lily also rushed to get married because of the war, and I shudder to think where that got them: victims of a prophecy, targeting a child that should have been born later. But they were so much in love, I could see that! James had always been in love with her, and the proposal came as a natural thing, whereas with Harry, it seemed somewhat forced, rehearsed but in a bad way.
I can see that he doesn't truly love Ginny. He doesn't really look at her the way James used to look at Lily, and Ginny is so much like his mother that this thing became disturbing on new levels.
I know a secret.
I have heard it one night as I was patrolling the dark corridors of Grimmauld Place.
Harry dreams of someone. Of a boy, but he seems to be ashamed of it. He wants a boy named Tom. I wonder if he's just rushing to get married because of this Tom. Does he think marriage with Ginny will kill his passion for Tom?
It's almost the end of the year at Hogwarts and they'll get married in August. I need to have a serious conversation with him. I know Harry was raised by (possibly homophobic) Muggles, but in the Wizarding World, such relationships are normal.
3rd Person POV
That night, after a particularly drilling training with Moody, Harry was happy to take a long bath and drop on his bed. Sleep would come easily, he knew, and no vision from Voldemort would bother him again. True to his word, Professor Snape had really taught him properly. Perhaps in time he would learn to like the stern man.
He heard a knock on the door and wondered who it could be.
"Remus?" he whispered. "What are you doing here?"
"Harry, we need to talk" the man said quietly.
"Did something happen?! With the Order, with Voldemort?" Harry whispered frantically.
"No, nothing of the sort. I wanted to talk about your marriage."
"Oh." Harry said, sitting down on his bed, relaxed. So Remus had come to give him "the marriage talk". He shook his head and prepared for the long string of advice that was sure to follow, thankful for the man's care.
Remus sit down on the bed next to him.
"Harry, do you really want to marry Ginny?"
"Of course, I love her very much!" Harry said defensively.
"I didn't say that you don't love her. But is she the one you love the most?"
Harry frowned. He didn't understand what Remus was talking about.
"She is the only girl for me" he said quietly.
"But what about that boy?" Remus asked quietly.
"What boy?" Harry asked. "I'm not cheating on Ginny if that's what you think. You shouldn't believe anything the twins are saying, Remus." Harry scowled.
Harry flinched at the name. How could Remus know?
"Harry," Remus patiently explained. "Silencing wards were created by a human wizard for human use. They don't work so well against a werewolf's superior sense of hearing"
Realization dawned on Harry.
"You've heard me talk in my sleep"
"Why are you marrying Ginny when you have unresolved feelings? And who is this Tom?"
"Tom really doesn't matter" Harry scowled.
"Homosexuality is perfectly acceptable practice in the Wizarding World, Harry. Is this what you were afraid of?"
"No." Harry blinked.
"What do you want, Harry?"
"And this Tom can't offer you that?"
"All right, I won't insist, but please think about it"
"There is nothing to think about. I will start a family with Ginny, and if Voldemort does kill me in the end, I will have children to continue the Potter name"
Remus sighed and stood up.
'That's what I was afraid of, Harry. You're really taking the same path as James'
Harry's eyes followed Remus to the door; as the door clicked shut, Harry allowed his eyes to rest, without sparing Tom a second thought. He couldn't bear to tell Remus who Tom was, but this excuses should be enough. Remus was discreet, and unless he talked to Dumbledore about it, no one would ever know.
Of course, Remus could take action by himself. He just hoped the man wouldn't go to Ginny, but he had some explanations ready in case she came with questions. Ginny knew who Tom was, and she wouldn't believe Harry could feel anything but hatred for the man that ruined his life, no matter how handsome his young self had been.
Or course, he really shouldn't have underestimated Remus's ability to…communicate with Professor Snape though letters. Really.
That fateful day when he was to kill Dumbledore, Severus Snape received a strange letter from one Remus Lupin.
I know that you are a very busy person, and I hate that I must place just another problem on your shoulders, but Harry's behavior is strange and I feel I must get to the bottom of this before he makes the mistake of his life.
I didn't want to involve Dumbledore; he's much too involved with Harry anyway, and the boy deserves some privacy in when it comes to his private life.
To get to the point: do you know any boy in Hogwarts named Tom that Harry was friends with? Or have you seen anything in his mind while teaching him? I feel as if Harry is in love with this Tom, but he thinks they can't be together, so he's rushing into an unhappy marriage with Ginevra Weasley.
Please, Severus, I know you might find this silly, but I beg you, help me with whatever information you may have come across!
Severus's brows both lifted so high they almost touched his hair line.
He was going to kill Dumbledore later that day. He wasn't going to involve himself in the Potter brat's love life drama!
Severus pushed the piece of paper harshly in one of his cloak's pockets and looked up at the sky.
Could he even ask the skies to forgive him for the atrocity he was about to commit?
"Severusss, you dropped something" Voldemort spoke calmly, lifting the paper from the floor as Severus was helping his godson get some relief after the last round of the Cruciatus curse.
Severus recognized the paper as Lupin's letter, but he couldn't care less, and Voldemort surely wouldn't be interested in Potter's love life.
And yet, the Dark Lord was reading it; as he did so, his amused expression turned into one of interest.
"Severus…when would you say the…blessed wedding is?"
"I don't know, my Lord. Probably the day after the girl's birthday"
"And when is little Ginevra's birthday?"
"I don't know, my Lord, but I can find out"
"Don't bother, Severus" Voldemort dismissed him.
Severus left supporting Draco, thinking about what had just transpired.
Even if Voldemort found out Ginevra's birthday and somehow got the wedding day right, there was still nothing he could do. The place was under Fidelius, and Albus had been the secret keeper – and so, the Secret died with him.
Harry looked at his beautiful bride, dressed in white, inside the small tent they had set. They had chosen to do a double wedding, with Bill and Fleur.
Molly Weasley was crying of happiness and everyone congratulated him on his choice. Remus hadn't said anything since that conversation, and things hadn't been the same since Dumbledore's death, but life had to go on and he was going to enjoy himself today.
"…if any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace"
Harry held his breath, hoping that Remus would just let this be. He needed a family.
But Remus spoke.
And to Harry's horror, Remus's figure changed into Voldemort.
Outside the tent, Remus was being subdued by Greyback, the only "help" Voldemort had brought with him to the wedding.
The Aurors drew the wands hastily, but unfortunately they were too slow for Voldemort, who disarmed them fast, sent red sparks in the air (signal for Greyback that he could leave) and moved onto Harry, Dissaparating the both of them. Ginny screamed, but it was too late.
The groom was gone.
Harry was Apparated into a grand, wonderfully furnished bedroom.
"Voldemort!" Harry screamed. "Have you bought me here to kill me?"
"That depends on you, Potter." Voldemort answered, smirking.
"What is this about?!"
"It's about…your unresolved feelings for Tom"
Harry's face turned as red as his Wedding Robes (Gryffindor themed) and he stuttered.
"That…is…I mean, it's nothing! I have no unresolved-!"
He was handed a piece of paper that he read quickly.
"That Remus! Urgh! And Snape, of course he betrayed us, that bastard, gave you this straight away, didn't he?! Let's all mock Harry Potter!"
"He dropped the paper while caring for his godson, if you must know. And this Remus person seems to know you very well. Why deny it? You are in love with…me"
"No!" Harry denied firmly.
"You're in denial, Harry. Tell me; why else would you close your mind from me? The damage was already done, and I didn't send you any more dreams, did I?"
Harry growled, furious at how easily Voldemort spoke of Sirius's death.
"Maybe I wanted to hide everything else that you hadn't seen…and everything I did this year!"
"But I already have the location of your little hideout, Harry. You didn't manage to hide it soon enough. I could have attacked you at any time"
Harry's eyes widened in shock. What?
"Let's talk about the little boy named Tom, Harry"
"You are very weird today, Voldemort. Why don't we just duel to the death so I can return to my wedding?"
"Maybe I also want to talk about a little boy named Harry?"
"What you're doing is weird, stop now! We're enemies! We're supposed to kill each other. You are Voldemort! You don't get to suddenly talk about unresolved feelings!"
"Because Dumbledore says so?"
"DO NOT SPEAK OF DUMBLEDORE TO ME, BASTARD! You aren't even half the man he used to be!"
Voldemort contemplated Harry's seething, hateful face. He moved faster than Harry could blink.
"You are actually pretty when you're angry, did you know that Harry? And I've never denied myself pretty things" Voldemort whispered in the boy's ear sensually, enjoying the shudder from his enemy, soon to be ex-enemy and hopefully lover.
"Enough, Harry" Voldemort said with a low tone. "I will not hand you over to that Weasley wench. I have decided that a long time ago"
"So I'm not the only one with unresolved feelings, then?" Harry teased, hoping the man would drop the charade.
"But I never denied it, Harry. At the center of my obsession, it's always been you. Don't you remember? Even in the Chamber, my younger self said that"
"I remember." Harry answered, watching Voldemort's face intently.
"Harry, stay with me here. No harm will befall you while you're in my care, and if you decide to leave after that, I won't stop you. We will go back to be enemies, and next time we meet I will kill you"
Harry looked down at his shoes, biting his lip.
"You don't want a family" Harry said softly.
"I want what you have to offer"
"I want children" Harry said stubbornly.
"It can be done. You can hire a surrogate mother or carry the child yourself, if you so desire. There are potions. There are ways." Voldemort stated matter-of-factly.
"I will stay for a while" Harry agreed.
"All right" Voldemort said, relaxing visibly. "This will be our room"
"What?! Our-? But I can't sleep in the same bed with you!"
"Let's negotiate, Harry. I am willing to spare 10 people from your side if you will sleep in my bed tonight"
Harry went red.
"But no-no sex, got it?"
"Of course not. When I have sex with you, you'll be begging for it. I won't take you without consent"
Voldemort leaned down and gave the dazed boy a quick peck on the lips.
"But I intend to steal many kisses, with or without your consent. Sweet dreams, honey!"
And that's how our weird relationship began. At first, we fought a lot, and I could see him visibly holding back from cursing me every time I stood up to him on some matters.
The Death Eaters eventually learned of my existence, and they grew to like me somewhat (except for Bellatrix, but who can account for that crazy bitch?)
We negotiated a lot. He seemed determined to have me no matter what, and I did my best to take advantage of his generosity.
It's been five years since he kidnapped me from my wedding, and tomorrow I'm getting married to him.
He gave me the world as I knew it. Everyone I knew is alive and well, and as the Minister of Magic, Voldemort brought a new age of prosperity for the British Wizarding World.
Dumbledore was wrong about him. Voldemort can love. I've seen to what extent he loves me, and I'm almost frightened by the intensity of his feelings. How long has he wanted me, I wonder?
Maybe some day he will tell me.
But now, I must Floo call my best man, Remus Lupin. When it's all said and done, he gives the best marriage advice.