Authors Note: First of all I'm very sorry for the delay, I had a horridly busy semester of college and also lost inspiration for this story at the same time. Not a great combination. Anyway, thank you for all the lovely reviews and PM's that prodded me to continue, and I am back with a brand new update. Yay. Not sure what I really think of it, but at least I am trying to get back into the swing of things. As always let me know your thoughts and thanks again.

Chapter 19

The rest of Cody's birthday went by too quickly. I can't believe my little boy is three years old. Where has the time gone? I sat beside him on his bed while he fell asleep and, even after his breathing had become deeper I stayed just gently stroking his hair and looking at him.

Eventually I moved away and over to our bed where Santana lay waiting for me, but pretending like she wasn't waiting as she read a book. I knew she was waiting though, waiting and watching me because I'd been watching her occasionally, and she was still on the same page she had been on for at least ten minutes now. That and the book was put rapidly down on the side table when I approached. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I lay down beside her in the bed and tried to get comfortable. The smile became a happy little sigh when she pulled me in to her body so that I was draped across her and her hands could run up and down my back.

I don't feel so nervous when I'm on top and can have a little control I've found, and Santana obviously noticed that when she smiled back at me.

"I think he had a great birthday." Santana said, as her hands continued to ever so gently run up and down my back. The material of my top is pulled up slightly on each pass and my eyes widen when I feel her fingers brush against my exposed skin.

It feels…good.

It does.

But I can also feel in the back of my mind the start of the nerves building too.

I close my eyes and try to squash my worries down, but Santana's hands immediately stop and my eyes blink open again.

"Don't do that." She says quietly. "You need to stay with me." Her head comes off the pillow and she presses her lips against mine in a kiss that starts off slow, but quickly gets out of hand.

I'm panting by the time I pull away from her lips, and I have to rest my forehead against hers and concentrate on breathing to slow my heart back down.

"You said you had an idea." I say quietly to break the silence a few minutes later. We have been resting against each other, and I had been enjoying how it felt to be held again.

"I do." Santana said equally quietly as her arms held me a little tighter.

"So?"

"Oh I'm not telling yet." Santana teased and I huffed out a sigh. "First we need to get Cody sleeping in his own room, and I want you to have the cast off your leg too. I don't want any interruptions or reminders." She continued and I know she was smiling from the tone of her voice.

It took another month before Santana's criteria was fulfilled. Cody took to having his own room surprisingly well, I think I actually found it harder than he did really. Then the day my cast was removed we spent a fun filled family day in the pool. Even Quinn and Beth joined us, and I found myself being able to relax and enjoy myself with my family around me.

That night after Cody was sleeping in his room, nightlight plugged in and casting a subtle glow around his bedroom I pulled the door closed with a quiet click, the bed slowly unbuttoning the charcoal colored silk shirt she was wearing stood Santana. I leant back on the doorframe and enjoyed the view, as she slipped the shirt from her shoulders before reaching for the belt.

Fuck she's so sexy.

She must have realized I was watching her as her eyes met mine and she grinned at me, before beckoning me forward by crooking one finger in my direction. I actually think I legitimately stumbled in my haste to make it to her side as the black leather belt was tossed onto the floor, and the button of her pants was opened.

"Breathe baby." Santana said, her voice quiet and husky as she directed my hands to take over the task of sliding down the zip on her pants.

Breathe? Yeah right.

My hands were trembling as they slipped the pants down smooth, muscular legs, and I couldn't really tell if it was anticipation or a little bit of fear. When her hand cupped my jaw I flinched away a little before releasing a heavy sigh at my actions and pressing a soft kiss to her hand in apology.

Santana's hands then took over what mine had stopped doing, and she slowly took off the rest of her clothes.

I stared.

Fuck, you would too ok?

Then I looked down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes.

The air….everything…it felt heavy with anticipation. With sex and desire. It wasn't the dark kind of heavy that I had felt with him, when I knew what he was going to do to me and couldn't stop it, but I did feel powerless to stop this too, even though I didn't honestly want to.

God, does that even make sense?

"Brittany, look at me." Santana asked and I obeyed quickly meeting her eyes. "I want you to control what happens next."

I felt my eyebrows scrunched up as I wondered how she was going to do that.

The answer quickly became evident when Santana held out a white strip of cloth, put it in my hands, lay down on the bed and then placed her hands above her head near the bedframe slats.

Holy fuck.

Uh.

"I want you to have control over me Brittany." Her voice was so rough sounding, and so very sexy that I felt my thighs clench together just at the tone of it.

This wasn't something we had tried before, well not this way around. I did have very enjoyable memories of when Santana had done something like this to me though, and it was those memories that I clung to as I tentatively wrapped the cloth around her wrists and secured them to the wooden slats.

"Can you undress for me?" Santana asked, her eyes were so dark and watching every move I made as I sat nervously beside her, unsure of what my next move would be.

At her prompting I hesitantly started to undress. However as I watched how she reacted to my every move instead of feeling more nervous, I began to feel even more comfortable. I could just tell how much she wanted this, wanted me, but yet she was willing to do this for me, to let me take my time. It made me feel strangely calm.

When I was completely naked, and Santana's eyes were as large and as dark as I had ever seen them before, I lay down beside her on the bed. Leaning over her, but still not touching I placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her mouth immediately opened and she moaned, the sound bringing a smile to my lips as I quickly deepened the kiss and finally pressed my body into hers.

It felt so good.

I'd missed the feel of her against me. I can't believe that I'd actually forgotten how soft her skin is. How just touching her can make my body feel like little sparks are shooting off it.

We're both panting when I pull away from the kiss, my lips trailing their way down her neck to rest in the hollow there where her neck and shoulder meet, that delicate hollow. I gently suck on her skin, loving the way her body arches up into my touch, impossibly taunt already. By the time my trail of kisses reaches the slope of her breast she is repeating the word please over, and over.

Her response to my touch makes me feel like a god.

So fucking powerful.

So amazing.

I can feel my heart pounding with excitement in my chest as I gently lick across her nipple, and then pull away. I actually laugh when Santana groans, and her body bends upwards even more trying to follow me.

I forgot this was fun.

Exciting.

I allow myself time to play with her breasts, teasing her with gentle, feather soft kisses, licks, and bites. I have no idea how much time passes, but when I pull away her body is coated with a thin sheen of sweat and she is breathing heavily.

I know she's aroused.

I can see how aroused she is.

It looks almost painful.

I know I'm aroused too.

I have been since we first kissed, as it's been building since then.

When she sighs out, "Please Brittany." Again, her voice cracking on my name I make my next move swinging my leg over her hips, until I am sitting astride, and staring down at her. I feel her buck up into me, and grin at the move no longer afraid.

"Uh-uh." I shake my head at her and smile even wider when she bites her lip and nods her head in understanding.

I have the control here.

I reward her by starting up a slow rhythm, rubbing myself against her.

So good.

It all feels so good.

"Fuck." I gasp as I press even harder down onto her.

"Please." Santana begs, her hands are clenched into fists and I know she really wants to touch me right now.

And god help me I want that too.

I want her hands grabbing onto my hips.

I want her fingers twisting up in my hair pulling me in to a harder kiss.

I want her.

I lean forward and quickly undo her the white cloth binding her hands down.

"Are you sure?" Santana asks as soon as her hands are free.

I nod frantically, and barely get out the word "Yes." Before her hands are in my hair and we are kissing. It's sloppy and a little out of control…ok a lot out of control, but it feels amazing. Now given permission Santana runs her hands up and down my back and it's my turn to flex and arch into her touch. When they reach around my front and cup my breasts I sit up and throw my head back, my hips are still pressing down into her and its all becoming too much.

Not too much in a stop I'm scared kind of way.

But too much in a fuck if she isn't in me soon I'm going to come without her kind of way.

Her fingers pinch my nipples and I press myself forward more into her hands. When she leans forward and engulfs one of my breasts in her mouth, my hands thread into her hair and pull her head closer to me.

I need more.

"Please." I sigh as she switches sides to give the other breast equal attention.

Oh God, I don't think I can hold on for much longer.

"Please." I sigh again.

I must have sounded desperate because Santana quickly pulls back, and murmurs. "Hold it." And quickly kisses me again. And then she pulls away from me, and there is a quick moment of readjusting before I feel her press into me.

I moan at the feeling of her inside of me, and Santana quickly pauses. When she sees the look in my eyes though she carefully presses the rest of the way inside and pauses again.

"You feel so good Britt." She manages to say, withdrawing slightly before pushing in again.

I can only resort to nodding. My ability to speak flew out of the window as soon as she entered me. All I could do was press down into her body, helping create the rhythm that was quickly driving me insane.

Her hands were on my hips, and then cupping my backside, her nails scraping gently across my skin making me sigh and redouble my effort. I could feel it building inside me even more, but I reached that moment of doubt.

You know the one.

The one when you think you might not actually get there.

When everything feels so beyond what you can control and contain that you become a little frantic and desperately try to grasp at it.

My body was driving down into her thrusts at a rapid pace now, but it still didn't feel enough. My hands were clutching at her shoulders, and I felt at a loss on how to push through and just release it all.

And then suddenly Santana rolled us until she was on top. The fast change in position threw me for a second and I froze before she breathed against my ear. "Just relax baby, I'll get you there." And started to move again.

My legs wrapped around her hips, pressing her closer, and my hands continued to grip at her shoulders possibly leaving bruises but I don't think either of us cared. Because Santana thrust forward and hit that spot in me that made it impossible for me to hold on to what was building inside me anymore. I think I managed to moan her name, and had just enough awareness to not scream it out, and not wake up Cody, before I was coming in huge waves. All I could do was hold onto her, knowing that Santana would keep me safe.

I felt her come inside me, the feeling triggering little aftershocks of my orgasm to run through my body.

Our lips met again, lingering against each others.

Soft.

Slow.

Perfect.

I felt Santana slip out of me and frowned at the loss. But smiled when she turned and pulled me into her embrace, placing kisses to the top of my head.

"I love you so much Brittany." Her voice still sounded raspy, but I could hear how happy she sounded as well.

"I love you too." I replied, and heard Santana chuckle as I yawned.

My eyes blinked closed.

Today had been a good day.