I don't really have any excuses for not updating other than I've been really busy and I haven't really felt like writing. But I'm back now. Sorry for the wait. Forgive me? ;)

Happy February everyone! :DDD


Clary stood as still as a statue, waiting for the awards to be announced. She wished they would just rip the band-aid off already; she wanted to know if she won or lost. But then again, didn't everyone?
"And in third place, we have act number thirty-five, Isabelle Lightwood!"
She saw Isabelle push her way through the crowd, beaming. Clary clapped wildly, happy that at least Izzy had placed.
"In second place, we have act number fifteen, Aline Penhallow!" Clary rolled her eyes. Aline was from her studio and was one of those girls who always went out of her way to try to be better than Clary. She could only hope that she got first. That would shut up Aline for at at least a few days.
"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, our first place winner, number seventeen, Clarissa Fray!"
Clary's heart stopped. She won? With a lyrical number? She stood frozen in shock before her brain told her feet to move to collect her trophy. She smiled at the announcer who handed her a medal and gleaming gold trophy and she waved to the audience. Cheers and hollers went up around her, and her heart swelled with pride. Then, she realized something.
This was her first time winning first place. For so long, she had always been the runner-up, but she had never minded. She would always tell herself that second was good, she should be proud of herself. But if getting second felt good, then getting first felt like she was going to burst into tears of joy.
The applause died down and the dancers shuffled off the stage.

Clary navigated through the hallways of the school the competition was being held at until she came to her dressing room. Shouldering open the door, she checked her phone for any new messages. One, from someone she didn't expect. Jace.
She felt her heart speed up as she pressed 'view now' on her phone.
Two words.
I'm sorry.
She closed her eyes and leaned against the door. What was that supposed to mean? And more importantly, where did she stand now? Were they friends? Acquaintances? Was it that simple?
Her eyes fluttered open and she took a step forward towards her station. Zipping up her jacket, she sat down and waited for Isabelle to come in. She would probably invite Clary over to celebrate, which would mean that she would see...him.
She groaned and put her head in her arms. Why was this so hard? She was so confused. Was she ready for a relationship? Her parents certainly didn't think so. She would probably have to keep the whole thing a secret. Would Jace even be worth it? From what Isabelle had told her, he had a new girlfriend every week. How could she trust that she wouldn't just be his newest item of interest?

A sudden memory came flooding back to her. Clary's father, Luke, had taken Isabelle and her out for ice cream after dance class one night. Isabelle had been jabbering on about her newest boyfriend, but when she noticed Clary's face, she had stopped.
"I'm sorry, Clary," she said, knowing exactly why Clary was so quiet.
"It's alright. It's not your fault. And they're right; I can't afford to be distracted. Not if I want to have a career in dancing." Clary shivered slightly as a cool breeze danced across her skin.
Isabelle sighed and brushed her long hair out of her face. "Yeah, but it's not fair. One day, you're going to fall in love, and you can't even make your relationship public, you know? You're going to have to sneak around behind everyone's backs just to see each other. You can't control love. And as much you will eventually try to quench your feelings and convince yourself that dance is all that you live for, love will keep coming back. Love is constant. It never leaves you."
"That was deep, Izzy." Clary tried to suppress a laugh, eating a scoop of her ice cream.
Isabelle huffed dramatically, but a smile ghosted her lips. "I was being serious, Clary. You may not think anything of it now, but one day you will."

Clary had laughed at that.
Now, here she was, Isabelle's words coming back to haunt her. You can't control love. Surely she didn't love Jace. Love was too much of an extreme right now. You couldn't love someone until you got to know them, right?
You can't control love. Those for words kept replaying and rewinding in her head. Love, love, love. Can't control. Can't control-
Stop it!
She thought. The door swung open and Clary looked up, anticipating Isabelle. But instead, it was Aline. She strode towards her mirror with an air of pride. Clary held back a snicker.
Aline glanced in her direction for a second. "Oh, it's you," she scoffed.
"Happy to see me?" Clary simpered coolly.
Aline glared. "Enjoying your victory?"
"Not so much as you, I believe," Clary shrugged. "But you know what Miss Morgenstern always says. 'Second is the first to lose.'"
Aline's eyes narrowed and she spun on her heel. "Watch it, Clarissa, or you might just find yourself in the hospital with a broken ankle. That would certainly put you off the NYCB wait list."
"Aline," Clary feigned hurt, "Is that a threat?"
"No, it's a promise." And with that, she stalked out of the room.

Clary sighed and turned back to grab her things from her station. Heaving her duffel bag over her shoulder, she pushed open the heavy door only to run smack into someone. She stumbled backwards and looked up.
"Jace?"
"Clary," his face lit up when he saw her. "I was looking for you."
"Well, here I am," Clary said, and immediately felt stupid. Couldn't she have thought of something more creative?
If Jace noticed her unoriginality, he didn't show it. "Look, I was a total jerk. I'm sorry. I know-" he paused, and took a deep breath. "I think I know why you picked that song to dance to, and I think it's only fair if I apologize too."
Clary managed a small smile. "Apology accepted."
Jace's eyes gleamed. "Then I was hoping things could go back to normal..." he drifted off.
There was silence for a moment. "What exactly is normal?" Clary whispered.
Jace grinned. "This," he said, closing the distance between the distance between them without any hesitation this time.
His lips met hers, and she involuntarily gasped. Is this what it felt like to be kissed? She hesitated, not sure what to do. When Jace's hand came up to wind itself in her hair, deepening the kiss, she pulled away suddenly, as if woken up from a trance.
She looked down at her shoes, embarrassed. This had gone to far. She had to stop it now while she still could. "I'm sorry, Jace, I don't-"
"Shhh," he held a finger to her lips. "I've heard all of your excuses already," he whispered, grinning. "But tell me something," he said.
"What?"
"How was that for a first kiss?"
Clary smiled. "Perfect, if I do say so myself."
And there, standing in the doorway, she realized something.
Isabelle was right. She had been all along. There was no escaping this. She couldn't fight it. Her heart both soared and plunged all in the same moment.
What had she gotten herself into?

Did anyone pick up my Dance Moms reference? :DDD LOL

And just cause they kissed doesn't mean they are like, OFFICIAL. Things are gonna get complicated :D

I promise I'll try to update more now...

REVIEW! Thank you to all that already have. YOU'RE THE BEST!