A crackfic, if ever I've seen one. Oneshot. The Doctor, Amy and Rory find themselves in the middle of Tara Gilebsie's infamous My Immortal. I don't own Doctor Who, Harry Potter or My Immortal. (The latter of which I wouldn't want to own.)
"Where are we?" Amy asked. Sure, when traveling with the Doctor, that question reared its head a lot. But this time, it was quite a good question to be asked. The Doctor opened his mouth and said something, but Amy couldn't hear anything above the blaring music. They were at a concert, and that was about all any of the three standing just outside the TARDIS could gather. There were teenagers singing and shouting and dancing and… well, the Doctor wasn't quite sure what to call a bunch of people moving around other people above their heads. None of them noticed the TARDIS. And it was a shame, because a big blue box materializing in the middle of a concert was quite a splendor.
"Next time you go bak in tim," a girl said loudly as she and a boy pushed past the group, shoving the Doctor against the TARDIS and elbowing Rory. "Im go met Gerard Way. I wiss I wer relay ted toe im. Lolz." The three gawked at her, unsure what to make of that poor excuse for a sentence.
"Tim?" Rory asked. "How do you go back in tim?" Then he looked up from the obnoxiously loud crowd and noticed the Doctor well ahead of him, Amy just behind him. "Hey!" he called after them and raced to catch up.
"That sign says we're in a place called Hogsmeade," Amy pointed out. The Doctor laughed.
"I knew that. 'Go back in tim' might mean go back in time," he said, as they continued stalking just behind the girl and the boy. They arrived at a car. The license plate read 666. The boy opened the door, revealing obvious piles of marijuana and crack cocaine. And bloody razors. And blood stains.
"Hey!111!1" the boy shouted in a depressed way (Geddit) all sad and sexily sensitive. "Woo are u? If u hurt Enoby Ill kill u an suk ur blood Im a vamp."
"What?" the Doctor asked, finding himself entirely speechless. There was nothing to be said about what he could've only slightly likened to a sentence. Or a series of sentences. He couldn't tell.
"Wat du hell mutterfukerz!11111111111111" someone shouted. It was…...
DUMBLYDORE!1111!1 Also Snap and Lumpkin and Seruois were there!11 Dumblydore shot Rory with his gun then stabbed Amy to death with it. The girl (Enoby, I guess?) and the boy flew away in the magic flying car. Snap sucked Lumpkin's blood and Seruois and Snap shooted Lumpkin then flu away on brooms. Dumblydore frenched.
The Doctor blinked. He looked up and was relieved to find himself back on the TARDIS. For a moment, the pain of losing the Ponds washed over him again, and he tried to shrug off the… hallucination? He wasn't quite sure how to describe what'd just happened. The TARDIS made a whirring noise and the Doctor regarded it with a smile.
"Im goffik now, Dokketor. Fangz," Edward Cullen, his most recent companion said as he strolled over to the Doctor, who groaned. The TARDIS whirred again with sympathy.
"Ewdard!11!" a voice called. The Doctor glanced to the left, and frowned when…..
Bella walked in!111111111
Fangz! Anyway, review if you wish, that was a mess. Why did I just write that? If you are brave enough and you wish to read (As best you can as a fluent English speaker) the original My Immortal, it can be found under my favorite stories. And the Twilight was thrown in there for good measure. See you later, prepz! Aw, I forgot! I was gonna have goffik Daleks. Maybe next time.