I felt like being angsty, so my mind made this up ^^
The nights drew in colder now, Fili noticed; the leaves were falling from their trees, the dense forest suddenly seeming sparse and empty. A hollow, haunting wind blew through the branches of the trees, sending the brown foliage spreading into the camp.
From where Fili was sat by the fire, feeding circles of wood into the red flames, he could watch the woodland shadows dancing in the night. He could quite easily picture ghosts, spirits and unspeakable creatures hiding between the trees, waiting for their moment to strike upon an unsuspecting victim….
But then he always did have a vivid imagination.
It was his turn to do first watch this night, and he blew air through his teeth as he cast his eyes around his fellow dwarves. All was quiet, bar the noise of the wind whistling through the clearing.
He smiled to himself, grateful for the calm night- he hated getting up and moving when it was so cold; it only made him colder when he sat down again.
His head snapped to the side as his brother snuffled in sleep; Kili always seemed to gravitate towards him, no matter where they were.
He didn't mind, of course, but sometimes he did just like to sleep without someone near-on lying on top of him.
He chuckled as he watched his brother sleeping, his eyes moving with his dream. It amused him to watch his night patterns; when they were children Kili used to talk and moan in his sleep- complete gibberish, of course, and he wouldn't remember a thing in the morning.
Countless nights Fili would lie awake, propped up on his elbows, just watching Kili sleep; it calmed him, to see his brother at ease, even if it was funny.
He looked away as he heard a crack of twigs on the far side of the camp- standing up Fili saw it was a squirrel, who presumably wanted an extremely late night feast. He watched it go on its way, a smile dancing on his lips.
He sat, wiping a hand down his tired face; he chanced a look down at Kili once again, and nearly jumped out of his skin.
Kili was staring up at him, brown eyes shining in the moonlight.
'Don't do that!' he snapped, hand on his heart. 'How many times do I have to tell you?'
'Sorry, brother…..didn't mean to scare you!' Kili grinned; smile wide as he sat up.
'You didn't scare me….' Fili muttered as his brother stretched, yawning. 'You just startled me, is all.'
'Alright, sorry to startle you.' Kili corrected himself, chuckling. 'How's the watch going?' he asked, looking around.
'Uneventful, boring….dark…' Fili mused, shrugging. He smiled down at his younger sibling. 'And you? Why are you up?'
A dark look passed in Kili's brown eyes. Fili frowned, arching an eyebrow as he didn't answer. 'Well?'
'…..It's nothing, not really…' his brother replied, eyes darting from his brother's face to the forest floor and back again.
Fili snorted, before throwing some more wood onto the fire; he watched the sparks and embers with little interest now- something had definitely spooked his little brother.
He finally turned to see Kili was also looking into the fire, a strange look dancing behind his brown eyes. He put a hand on his shoulder, frowning as Kili jumped, before that trademark grin found its way back to his young face.
'Kili, you know you can tell me anything- I've always told you that.' He muttered, making sure to keep his voice down as their fellow dwarves turned and snored in sleep.
His brother nodded, before giving Fili a small, nervous smile. 'I just had a bad dream, that's all.'
'Want to tell me about it?' Fili asked lightly. It wasn't often Kili lost sleep over subconscious images; he had to tread carefully- say the wrong thing and Kili would close up, unwilling to speak of it again.
His brother sighed, curling into himself as he sat closer to the fire. 'Do- do you think we'll make it?' he whispered, eyes in the fire once more.
Fili frowned, 'What do you mean?' he asked, turning to face him.
'I mean….will we even get there, to Erebor? We still have the battle at the end, and I've never been in a battle, and what if it all goes wrong and everyone dies and what if-'
'Kili! Slow down, please.' Fili interrupted, feeling as overwhelmed as Kili looked.
Breathless, his brother looked up with wide, childlike eyes. 'I dreamt you died, and Thorin, and I had to keep going, knowing that the fate of our people was on my shoulders, and I-I couldn't do it, brother….I couldn't do it….' A small sob broke through his words, but it was quickly coughed back; Kili cursing his weakness.
Frowning, Fili moved to sit closer to his little brother. 'Now, you listen, Kili- and you listen good. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, let alone when we get to Erebor- I cannot predict the future just as your dreams and thoughts cannot. But what I do predict, and hope for, is being around for a very, very long time.' Fili moved Kili's cheek with his finger to make him turn to face him. 'Please take these thoughts from your mind, of me and Uncle dying- they will not help, and will only make you sick with endless worry.'
He leaned closer to Kili, before pressing his forehead against his little brother's. 'The world is a harsh, barren place, brother- we only fight for what is rightfully ours, and hope no trouble comes our way.' He whispered, feeling Kili nod against his skin.
In truth, he was just as scared as his brother, and he knew most of the company, including his uncle, also felt as Kili did- they just chose not to voice their concerns.
He knew no-one had completely restful nights, or easy days; he knew how Bofur kept his axe with him all times, how Ori always looked to his brother's for reassurance when they made decisions, and even how Thorin himself always asked for Gandalf's guidance when things overwhelmed him- not that he would ever admit it of course.
They all had their fears- but they also had the blinding, enveloping hope that had started their journey; if reclaiming Erebor was to be their prize- what were their lives as a risk?
After a couple of seconds, Kili pulled back from the dwarven embrace, smiling.
'I guess I shouldn't be so weak.' He muttered, before settling back down.
'Weak? No, brother, it is not weakness- it's having the foresight to worry and the courage to voice it…..nothing wrong with that.' Fili reassured him.
Kili nodded, laying his head back down on the ground. 'To the end, brother?' he said, his lone voice loud in Fili's ears.
Turning away, he fed more wood into the fire, staring into the embers once last time before resuming his watch-
'Aye.' He muttered. 'To the end.'
I hope you liked the angst :D
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