[...unWARP!!!]

Good evening.

Once again, here's the 2002 UKE Awards ceremony of the Tiny Toons Adventures Fan Fiction Mailing List. Plenty of authors cooperated in its making, including myself. Some of the fanfics can be found here on ffn, and *all* of the fanfics and fan art can be found at members.aol.com/hkuriah

Enjoy!!

Until next time, remember:

I AM THE J.A.M.

Good evening.

[WARP!!!]

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(Rich and Dramatic Orchestral Music begins ominously...

(Scene: The Milky Way Galaxy, ablaze with bright stars! Blue-black space and glittering diamonds of stars! The camera begins an incredibly slow and startling Zoom-In to: colorful blue, red and purple nebulas and stars colliding! We focus into a small yellow Sun ..known as Sol.)

Deep Announcer's voice-over: "A Long Time Ago - In a Galaxy Far, Far Away-"

(LOUD RECORD SCRATCHING SOUND!)

"... Good Evening and Welcome...."

(Electrifying Synthesizer musical sting!)

(Scene: Focusing in on the third blue-green planet - our Toony Earth...

Announcer continues:"To the most Star-Studded Event of the Year..."

(Scene focuses in on the continent of North America)

Announcer:"...To a Truely International Event..."

(scene: Hands come into the shot and twists the globe that the camera is looking at - focusing it on London, England (Tower Bridge, the clock of Big Ben & the Parliment Building) ("Rule, Britannia" plays)

Announcer:"Uh, no..a little west of there-"

(hands twist globe to focus in on the canyons of the American Southwest)

(We see Wile E. Coyote chasing the RoadRunner off a cliff. The two see the camera and come to a complete halt in mid air. Wile stares at the camera sourly and holds up a sign:

"It's Not Here".

(The Cameraman nods and begins to pull back away. Wile looks down at the nothingness underneath him, reacts ...and falls out of the shot. We here him hit. The  RoadRunner smiles and waves to us, then he looks down at Wile E. and laughs. He reacts suddenly with a "huge eyes" wild take as - he falls down out of the shot as well!)

Announcer:"Actually it is-"

(The hands twist the globe around far - all the way to Japan! We see; Tenchi Muyo, The crew of Space BattleShip Yamato, AstroBoy, the TransFormers and CowBoy BeBop, Yu-Gi-Oh, The Sailor Scouts of Sailor Moon and Cutey Honey. They all smile and wave to the camera.

(Theme from "Speed Racer" plays)

Godzilla suddenly ROARS!!!! And scares them all away!

 He looks at the camera, then sticks out his tongue at the camera and makes moose atlers with his hands at the viewers. Godzilla grins and walks away.

Little Goku from DragonBall appears and looks inquisitivly into the camera lens. He knocks on it.

Goku:"Hey, what's this thing?"

(He tries to bite it and the camera blanks out into static for a moment)

Announcer:"Actually it's a bit west of there-"

(Hands twist the globe again to Paris, the City of Light - we see Pepe Le Pew watching the feline Can-Can dancers at the Mew-lon Rouge.)

(Can-Can music plays)

The Kitty Can-can dancers swish their dresses, screaming, doing splits and pulling up their Can-can skirts before Pepe's table. Pepe smiles and slyly wiggles his eyebrows at the camera.)

Announcer:"Not There! This is a family show! .....No, it's a bit Northwest of there-"

(Hands twist the view northward to Switzerland.)

(Oompaa Band music plays)

We see Yosemite Sam about to plant his flag atop the Schmatterhorn. He sees the Camera, reacts and falls off the mountain!)

Sam:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHRACKINFRACKINSTUPIDIJITSDUMBSONOVA-!!!"

(Bugs Bunny watches Sam hit the ground, shrugs and plants his own flag, then points the camera westward with his thumb.)

Announcer:" Yeah! - I MEAN!!!..........Yes... it was in America.."

(Camera zooms to New Yawk. We see King Kong swatting at some biplanes and growling, while he stands atop the Umpire State Building. The camera focuses in on the white figure in his gigantic hand. It is the beautiful Minerva Mink in a white ripped silk dress screaming at the top of her lungs and writhing in Kong's grip! She sees the camera and suddenly stops.... She winks and smiles at the camera.)

Minerva:"Hey, it's not pretty being me."

(She suddenly goes back to playing her part and screaming and struggling.)

Announcer:"Okay. Okay....It is in HOLLYWOOD!

(Scene flashes to the huge HOLLYWOOD hills sign, to the street signs of Hollywood and Vine Street, Gruman's Chinese Theatre)

Announcer:" ..At the Warner Brother's Studios.....*In Burbank*!.."

(We see the studio gate and the water tower and we zoom into a huge STUDIO sign...dissolve thru into-

...A huge Auditorium (like Lincoln Center in New York). It's lines of balconies and theatre boxes ... are all empty.)

Announcer:" HEY! THE SHOW"S STARTING!!"

(Instantly there's a mad scramble as hundreds of toons carreen into the theatre thru all the doors, instantly filling the seats to capacity!

Announcer:" Thank_you_. (takes a deep breath)

...."It's the Second Annual UKE Awards!"

(Triumphant brassy music plays as multi-clored spotlights play over the tremendous stage - the set features indiscribable sculptures on either side, brilliantly lit! In the ceiling is a huge movie screen which lowers as a film begins .... we see Slappy Squirrel toss a lit black bomb at the audience on the screen!

It comes at us in 3-D! As the fuse sizzles and burns down...

Slappy: "Now _that's_ Comedy."

KABOOOOOOOM!

(The screen explodes with a deafening Roar and everyone is blown out of their seats!!)

Slappy:" Sounds System Promo. ..heh ha! Ya gotta love commercials!"

Announcer:" The audience is now deaf....But you hafta listen to me anyway, because..."

 (Drums roll and the lights dim down to a empty spot of light at stage right.. French horns and trumpets play a triumphant brassy version of : The Promenade Theme from Mossourgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition")

Announcer:"Heeeeeeeeeeere's your Host.... Pepe K.!!!

(As the Orchestra plays the magnificent musical theme, a medium-sized handsome skunk walks slowly in like a Maestro. The crowd of toons fills the theatre with warm applause. Pepe is resplendant in a black cutaway tuxedo (white tie and tails)..[both of them]

(Pepe bows deeply and crosses to the podium below the screen as the Promenade Theme draws to a proud climax. The audience cheers!)

Pepe K.:" Gee, I thought you'd never get here!"

(audience laughs)

Pepe K.:"Welcome to the second Annual UKE awards. These awards have an illustrious past that started way back... uh, last year. Last year I was merely a presenter-"

Peter Bunny :(catcalls out from his seat) "Yeah, yeah, right!"

Pepe:" Umm well, I might happened to have actually won once er twice.."

Audience responds with sarcasm:" Yeah, right!"

*Pepe smiles and sweats alot*

Pepe:" Well anyway - This year, since I was in charge, I had the chance to see all the work and hard competition that does go on and found it quite exciting! As a result, I'd like to mention the authors and artists who worked so hard to come up with TTA material for us this past year - Toons like ... Able Du Sable!

(spotlight picks up on the sable and his lady in the audience. The Audience cheers as he takes a bow.)

Pepe:" We've also been blessed with two newcomers who have joined us from the Old World. The highly talented author, Mister Sean Campbell!

(A blue skunk stands up and waves shyly. The crowd cheers!)

Pepe:"And a funny lil fellow with a knack for great artwork and snappy comebacks - Murray Mouse!"

(A brown chinchilla wearing a black jacket and glasses stands and waves at the crowd - they go wild with applause!)

Pepe:"Another artist from the hidden recesses of Europe - where is he? Ah! One who has cornered the market in cuteness - AGI! "

(A cute lil white rabbit stands up and smiles shyly.The audience cheers!)

Pepe: Yes, we have artists getting awards this year as well - and what better artist to begin the process - your friend and mine - Thorne!"

(A brown, bespectacled mouse wearing a billious yellow Hawaian shirt ( a shirt loud enough to scare lions away) comes from the side of the stage to call out)

Thorne:"Hold on! I'm almost ready!"

Pepe:"Fine, I wasn't finished anyway .. gotta introduce the rest of the crew! ..Ahem... Another fine author and scientist buddy of mine is here with us - Andy Fox!"

(The red Fox stands up in his theatre box, dressed in his WB tuxedo. Audience cheers! Andy Bows deeply and reseats himself alongside Slappy and Skippy Squirrel)

Pepe:"There's a couple of crazy cats -"

Krazy Kat:(standing up and objecting):"Is that some kinda species joke?"

(Ignatz the Mouse stands up from across the theatre)

Ignatz:"Shaddup and Siddown!!" (He throws a brick and beans Krazy Kat on the head with it. KLONK! She swoons with hearts flying around her.)

Krazy Kat:"Ooooooh Ignatz! You *Do* love me!" She collapses, knocked out)

Pepe:"Well, um... Two cats that work great together as authors in their on *write*..get it? heheh..ahem.. are The Incredible WereKitty and Furball! GIve it up fur the felines!"

(The two cats in question stand and are cheered!)

Pepe:"There are three toons here, though, without whom I could do very well - er - I mean! ...._Just_ kidding_, folks!

The first is the man who came up with this whole shebang last year – the irrepressable Professor Digressor himself - Nate Freeman!

(Nathaniel Freeman stands up from behind the orchestra's Wurlitzer organ and bows to the cheering crowd.)

Pepe:"And someone else very new to us - without whom our voting would have been extremely difficult -our Germanic friend from the great state of Texas! - Herr Ludwig Van Goff!

(The fashionable sable with the fedora, monacle and trenchcoat stands and salutes the cheering crowd.)

Pepe:" And last, but certainly not least - the toon - yes he *is* a toon now - who has worked tirelesly and endlessly to bring us all of Tiny Toon Adventures Fanfiction, Art, News etc.! I give you - the leader and Moderator of this list - our own - our beloved - Kevin (good to his Mother) Mickel!

(A smallish B&W 30's-type toon with glasses stands up - or rather is picked up in the air bodily - by Bugs Bunny and the Tiny Toons! And the crowd goes wild!)

Pepe:"Thank you *all* very much for you hard work and dedication to Tiny Toons, Looney Tunes and all Toons! And Now - On with the show!!! And our first Presenter this evening is - Thorne the Mouse!"

(The audience cheers as Thorne enters and crosses to the podium. Pepe bows and begins his exit, crossing by Thorne on his way.)

Pepe:(aside to Thorne) "Knock 'em dead, Kid!"

(Pepe bows his way out and croses to his theatre box to sit with Fifi, Hamton and Dr. Lord and their entourage.)

:)

--

Pepe K.