Ex-Prince of Konoha, New King of Deviluke

Trouble 6: Truths to be Unveiled

All of you, that sit on your asses and bathe in luxury don't understand how you take advantage. How you can think it doesn't matter, that it is just a natural thing. But after you go through the pain, the sorrow and experience. You can understand. Only then, can you truly understand!


Now, let us continue with the Birthday BANANZA Bash


At the entrance to the local place of higher learning, Sainan High School, the beautiful nurse stood leaning against the wall as the sun started to set over the town. She flipped through a file she kept on hand as she placed her hands within her coat patiently.

"You seem very anxious." She slowly turned her head towards the gruff voice that had appeared a few feet from her. The shadows passing by the houses and walls concealed the faces of the two figures that had come for her.

One a tall man with short spiky black hair and a beard that connected around his chin-line. He was wearing a formal suit but broke that image by placing his hands lazily in his pants pockets. Besides him, a shorter woman with long black hair that reached her shoulders. She was wearing a black blouse and skirt that reached her knees.

In short, they looked like a business duo that had just come back from work.

"Of course I am anxious" Mikado said as she pushed off the wall and walked over to the couple that stood in the shadows. "A defenseless young lady out in the growing night as she waits to give a file away to a group hidden in the shadows. It's like a scene from one of those old spy movies I enjoy so much." She said with a slight smile and a wink.

"Come now Ryoko, you make it sound like we are the bad guys." The man said with a slight chuckle as he relaxed his stance and reached into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. The nurse handed the file over to the woman as she took it from her and placed it close to her chest.

"Thank you Mikado-San. We are sorry for the inconvenience to your schedule." She roughly nudged the man next to her with her elbow, earning a grumble of annoyance. "This idiot still hasn't given the permission for his subordinates to play middle man yet."

"What? I think it is much more efficient to just come and pick it up ourselves. Do you really trust that guy to bring it back with him? If it was him, he'd probably leave it by the front office of the school saying it was too much of a pain in the ass to care about!" The woman shrugged her shoulders and blamed it on his inability to teach his students properly.

"Wait." The two shadows stopped their retreat back to base and turned to the woman in the doctor outfit. "I know that he is suspicious, but please do not harm him. I know that boy personally and despite being a smart-ass and a bit cocky, he really is a sweet boy that hasn't done anything to garner attention."

"We know Mikado-San," the woman said as she had a slight tone of understanding in her voice. "And if he can keep it that way, then we can try to see if he can live here."

"But until then he is going to be kept under watch" the man said as he lit the cigarette in his mouth. "We want to keep peace on this planet Ryoko. You know that peace on this planet is the best chance that most of us have to peace in general. And we won't lose that by any means." Mikado softened her eyes in relation to that sentence.

Indeed, despite all the issues and disputes that this world had, it was a far cry easier to live here then it was to live on other planets in the sky.

When this world declared war, it was only with another culture or group on this planet.

But out there, the wars were devastating. Entire weapons that light up the darkness and vaporized armadas in an instant. Chemical warfare that liquified a person's organs to the point where they poured out of any orifice they could find. Planets and solar systems left barren and lifeless just because civilizations couldn't agree on simple terms.

She knew. She had experienced so much of it.

The worst things that occurred on this were mostly a war every few years and a natural disaster.

Well, that Twilight phase was pretty damn bad but it appeared that humanity was slowly recovering from the affect of sparkly blood-suckers.

As the couple had already vanished, Mikado looked up into the crescent moon and closed her eyes. 'Naruto-kun, don't do anything stupid. Please.'


And on the other side of town, Naruto was doing the exact opposite of the nurse's wish. In the form of arguing intensely with a flying robot across the table from him.

"I told you Naruto-dono, Lala-sama doesn't need any peasant clothes! I can change into any form of clothing that I see and register and change accordingly!" The little winged robot said as it floated over the steaming hot combination of sliced dough, tomato sauce and cheese the human hybrid had ordered for dinner for his mistress.

"And I told you, that it doesn't help that her only dependence of clothing is a mechanical pin clip! Even some panties and a bra would be better than nothing when you fall off again you damn Tamagachi!"

"I don't even know what that is?!"

"It's a painfully annoying, easily replaceable toy that never shuts up and turns off at the drop of a hat!"

"AH! How rude!"

"Look," Naruto said as he tried to calm down and sat in his chair. "All I'm saying is that it would be for the best if she had something like that as a back up. She is way too innocent and trusting to have walking around naked in a school of hormonal boys and girls. And it doesn't help that you can fall off at the slightest hint of a jiggle."

"When do either of us jiggle?"

"Believe me. I've seen her. She jiggles." Naruto lifted a piece of pizza out of the box and took his first bite as Lala was finishing her shower. Peke picked up a piece of the foreign delicacy and examined it carefully. "Besides, it will be bad when everyone finds out she's got a tail. Of course, maybe everyone will be more focused at looking at her boobs and ass before-"


Peke's hands were extended as he threw the food at Naruto's face. "Do not talk about my master with such a view of her body."

"AHHHHHH! THE CHEESE! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS USSSSSSSSS!" Naruto was flailing around as the sound of sizzling hot food settled into his face and eyes. The sounds of footsteps could be heard from the stairwell.

"Hmmm? What happened?" Lala questioned innocently as she entered the little dining room. Naruto sat up and pulled the searing hot pizza from his face.

"I'll tell you what. Your little Gizmo over there-" Naruto's eyes widened when he realized that Lala was drying her hair with her only towel. So there she was, standing completely naked as her tail waved mindlessly behind her. Naruto raised his occupied hands back to his eyes. "Damn it Lala! What did I tell you about strutting around naked like that. You have to wear a towel when you come out or else- OHHHHH GOD IT BURNS AGAIN! WHY, WHY DID I DO THAT?!"

Lala tilted her head as Naruto continued to roll around a scream in pain. "Lala-sama, do you want some cover?"

"Oh, thank you Peke." She placed her towel over the couch and stood openly for Peke to attach and form. After he was done, the Deviluke heiress was wearing a similar set of pjs that matched her hair tone. She walked over to Naruto and kneeled down besides him. "I'm sorry Naruto. My bad" as she bit her tongue and punched the side of her head cutely.

Damn, even when she was supposed to be punished, she was just too damn adorable.

He slowly pulled the stretchy food off his face as he grabbed a napkin and wiped his greasy mug. "It's fine Lala. Just please don't walk around like that anymore."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know it bothered you so much." The usually up-beat girl said with a disappointed edge in her voice as she looked down in her lap and gripped her pants. "If I knew you didn't like to see me naked, I would be more attentive about it."

"I-it's not that." Lala lifted her head in bewilderment as she saw Naruto look away from her with a mild blush across his face in embarrassment. "It's not that I don't like looking at you. In fact, it's because you are so devastatingly se- I mean pretty that you need to cover up. It is not good for my health if I keep seeing you naked like-" before he could finish though, he was tackled to the floor and glomped by the girl.

"Naruto! I didn't know you thought I was pretty! Thank you so much!" Naruto's stress had spiked once more as he felt her cozy up to him as much as she could. Naruto's eyebrow twitched and he swallowed a lump in his throat as Lala's immense superhuman strength kicked in and started to crush his spine. He gasped for air and waved his arms violently as he pushed her by the shoulders.

"Yes yes. Naruto is nice and enjoys hugs. So let's not strangle and crack his spine, okay?" Lala nodded her head childishly as Naruto chuckled and pulled them both up. Lala picked up a piece of pizza and bit into it, savoring the delicious new taste.

"Oh Naruto," she said inbetween bites. "I had so much fun today at your school with you and Haruna. Being in class, learning about your culture and history. It is so cool to be in High School with everyone!"

Naruto chuckled as he took a bite. "Yeah, I think that you are the only person I have ever met with that mindset about school." Contained space with no leg room and meals with less nutrition then dog food. In his mind, for him and everyone else he knew, it was like being sent to a prison.

Actually, in prison, you didn't have to learn a bunch of random crap and take tests periodically.

Well, not unless you were being tested for when that stabby and molesty sensation was acting up again.

"And Haruna introduced me to one of the tennis club teachers. Sasuga-sensei. He and Haruna invited me to join the tennis club if I want. Do you think I could?" Naruto almost choked on his pizza.

Remembering what had happened earlier today, he placed very little stock in the idea that she had already learned to control her strength when she was excited. "U-umm, maybe a little later in the year, huh?"

Lala placed the final crust of the pizza and cherished the delicious flavor and squealed in glee. "This is the best meal I've ever had Naruto!" Naruto didn't completely believe that because she said that about every new thing he fed her. "I can't believe we get to eat stuff like this every day!"

"Yeah well we really shouldn't. It isn't healthy for kids like us to constantly eat junk food like this. We need real meals, like with vegetables and meat and stuff. But I don't cook so that idea is out." His mom was the one who cooked when she was home and he never bothered to learn to cook because...

"Well what did you do when you had to eat healthy stuff" the princess inquired with a tilt of her head.

Naruto seemed to lose most of his mirth for a minute as his eyes glazed over. "I used to eat with my friends most of the time. They're my neighbors so I know them very well." Naruto lowered his food as he lost his appetite and his eyes conveyed almost pure regret. "They are my best friends."

"Then let's go and ask them for food!" Lala sprouted wings from her back and flew straight for the door, planning to do a home invasion on Rito and Mikan's house. She was stopped as Naruto mindlessly reached out and grabbed her PJ's by the neck, already anticipating that plan of action.

"No. I'm not going to bring them into all this forced engagement crap. They don't know about the whole alien thing and I would like to keep it that way for the foreseeable future." Lala stopped uselessly flying in mid-air as Naruto grip did not falter in the least. She stopped her attempt and fell on her butt with a slight *omphf*.

"But why?"

"Because I don't want to put them in danger." Naruto turned away from her and continued to play with his food, remembering the troubling threat he had received from a certain menacing asshole whose daughter he was currently lodging. Something about if he didn't do what he was told, a cataclysmic apocalypse that will kill every single living thing on the Earth will occur because of him.

A pretty fucking big responsibility to put on a sixteen year old's shoulders.

He had tried to abandoned that side of his life a long time ago. It was a world he was unwillingly forced into and then harshly thrown out of. And he had spent almost a decade trying to cover up that painful past and build a stable new life with friends and family. And now that he was apparently being forced back into the thick of it, he wanted to do everything he could to keep one side away from the other.

And if Rito or Mikan were ever put in danger or hurt because of him...

No. Never. He would never let them get hurt.

Lala looked at the pained expression in Naruto's face as he seemed to be at war with his choices. She wanted to reach out and tell him it was fine, but she could tell that it wouldn't be enough. Whatever was gnawing at his conscious, it was because of her. So she decided that she would at least try to cheer him up.

"Naruto?" The blond boy looked up and saw her beaming a pleasant smile down on him. "Can we play another game? I'd like it if you could teach me again before we go to bed."

Naruto looked up at Lala as she smiled happily at him, attempting to diffuse the stiff tension he was feeling and calm down with a video game he showed her. He realized that Lala was also being forced into a situation that wasn't preferable to her in any way. But she was still smiling, just happy to be here on a new world and having a friend in him. And honestly, he couldn't blame her for trying to make him feel better.

Naruto gave a weak smile and Lala cheered and ran into the living room. "So what do you want to play Lala?"

"This" she said as she raised the item in her hand.

"Seriously? Little Big Planet again? What about all the other games I've got? There's-ummm-" Naruto kneeled down and started to pilfer through the variety of games he kept under the TV rack. "There's Budokai? Street Fighter? Revengance? Uncharted? Deadpool? The Last of Us just came out! Pleaaaaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee!"

"No! Sack people!"

Naruto lowered his head in defeat as she continued to defend Sack-boy and his kind. In the end, Naruto basically spent the entire night playing with Lala as she built an entire planet's worth of material by scratch.


"Why do you look so happy? You had the same silly face plastered on since last night?" The young elementary student said as she looked at her older brother as he seemed to be off in dream land. Ever since Rito had come back home from school yesterday, he had seemed to drift off into his own happy world while he always had a grin.

Rito tilted his head slightly and looked towards Mikan with dreamy eyes. "Huh? Did you say something Haruna-chan?" Rito's eyes opened slightly and saw the face of his little sister looking at him blankly, her eyes changed to little round black dots. "U-Uh-umm, y-you didn't just hear that did you?"

"The part where you were mumbling baby names or the part where you accidentally called me another girl's name? Either way no" the girl finished as she turned her head and stifled a laugh. Rito hit his head as hard as he could into the table and released a long moan.

"So what's wrong this time?"

"Actually, everything couldn't be better. I finally got to talk to this person I've been trying to talk to for years." Rito smiled to his sister. "And it was fun. Sairenji actually knows who am I. She knows me!" Rito then went off into another session of congratulating himself as Mikan sat down and started to dig in.

"So is it Sairenji-San or Haruna-chan?"

"N-None of your business!" Rito nervously screamed out as his face continued to burn red in embarrassment. Rito continued to glare at her lightly before Mikan started to giggle. Rito calmed down and started to chuckle as well as the siblings laughter echoed throughout the house.

As they calmed down, Mikan looked down at her food and smiled sadly. "It's quiet without him." Rito looked up from his food and watched as Mikan just looked at her food with her eyes shadowed by her hair. "It's so different to eat like this without him being so loud and annoying. I can actually concentrate on my food and eat peacefully without him. It's nice. I don't mind now that we-"

Rito reached out and held her hand in his, getting her to look up at him with slightly watery eyes. Rito looked at her with a thoughtful smile, understanding just what she was saying. "He'll be back. I promise."

Mikan looked at her brother before her eyes softened and she nodded. Before wiping any tears that could come from her eyes and turned her head. "Didn't you hear me? I said I was glad he wasn't hear. I can finally eat in peace."

Rito smiled at Mikan's reluctance before laughing and teasing her for the rest of the night.

Before having his food taken away from him as punishment. Rito spent the rest of the night apologizing to the younger girl as his stomach rumbled painfully.


Lala gleefully skipped her way to the school entrance as Naruto tiredly followed behind her. Once again, all of the students that saw them were gossiping and spreading rumors. Some about how he had paid her to socialize with him to become popular. Some about how she was a transfer student and he was forcing her to do his homework. And most about how the local blond delinquent had knocked-up some poor under-aged girl and was forcing her to come to school while also not willing to pay child support for the unfortunate fetus.

All-in-all, all bullshit ideas, all blaming him. Oh, poor reputation. How little we knew of ye.

Lala grabbed her shoes and waved to Naruto as she ran off to get to class early. Naruto couldn't be bothered so he decided to waste his time and walk around school. He watched as boy's were being boy's, girl's were being girl's, and pedophiliac obese principals were being pedophiliac obese principals.

And amongst all of the students that roamed the halls, he saw a familiar head of silky black-hair carrying a large pile of folders. And he couldn't help but notice that she may be struggling with them.

Yui was trying her best to keep her balance as the large stack of papers in her arms were swaying back and forth. Yui placed her feet apart, 'Dang it! I should have done this in turns! This is too heavy!' As she took another step forward, her foot slipped and she completely lost herself.

"Eeep!" Yui closed her eyes and prepared for the worst as she felt herself careen to the ground. She waited a moment for the crash but it never came. She blinked in wonder as she felt a pair of hands grasping onto her's, holding both her and her papers in place.

"Looks like you are having some trouble there Yumi-chan. Need some help?" A familiar head of blond shaggy hair and a grinning whiskered face popped out from behind the stack of papers. Yui twisted her face in anger at seeing him again.

"Let go of my hands" she said with a leveled voice.

"Are you sure? You might drop them again?" Yui started to pull back.

"I said let me go!"

Naruto let her go and Yui started to fall backwards again at the sudden release. Yui let out another cute shriek before Naruto grabbed her hands again, keeping her balanced. "Maybe I should help you until we reach your destination, huh?"

Yui's eye twitched in anger and also felt a slight pink hue grow upon her face at appearing clumsy in front of the crude boy. Before she reluctantly grumbled a yes and started to lead the both of them towards the classroom.

Naruto walked backwards and continued to smile cheerfully towards the girl. She tried to avert her gaze from him but found it hard to navigate without looking forward. So she steeled herself and just tried to ignore him to no avail.

They dropped the folders off in the room and started to walk back. Actually, Yui tried to ditch the blond but found him sticking to her with a cheerful smile. After several attempts to curve around the corners of the hall, she grew tired of the useless efforts and finally confronted him. "What are you doing?"


"Why are you still following me? Are you stalking me or something?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you following me like this? I still haven't forgiven you for what you were dong the other day Uzumaki-kun! Are you trying to get my apology?"

Naruto looked at her as she seemed to pout in anger at his actions. "I wanted you to know that what I was doing was for the benefit of someone I care about. He has been trying his best for a long time and I decided that I would help my friend do anything he wanted. Just like I know that he would help me if I ever needed it."

He looked up at her and gave her an apologetic smile. "And I'm sorry that I embarrassed you like that for a reason that doesn't involve you. I was so desperate to stop the principal that I never thought about what I was doing to you. And even if you don't really like me, I think you're actually kind of fun" he said as he smiled at her with shut eyes, causing the girl to blush in embarrassment.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. "And if you still resent me, then that's fine too. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. See ya later, Yumi-chan." He turned around and started to walk away from the girl with her eyes covered by her hair.


Naruto thought he heard something and turned back to her. "Hu-"

"It's Yui! Kotegawa Yui! Every single time I've seen you, you've got my name wrong! Every blasted time, it's been Yumi, Yumi, Yumi! Do you understand how irritating it is for someone to constantly get your name wrong?" The girl yelled at the male student as she released all her pent up aggression she had built up since first meeting Naruto.

As she got closer and started to poke his chest in question, he started bending back further and further until he was parallel to the floor, sweating profusely out of shock. "U-um-"

"You don't, do you!"

"N-no ma'am!"

"That's right! And I know I'm not fortunate enough to never see you again so I want you to get it right! Say it!"



"Kotegawa Yui-San!"

"Good! And I don't want you to ever forget that! And if I ever see you doing something shameless or juvenile again, you are going to wish you had never even been enrolled in this school, alright?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

Yui nodded and started to walk away, leaving Naruto to fall on his butt stunned. Yui stopped and turned back but kept her eyes away from looking at him. "B-but, thank you for apologizing Uzumaki-kun. That was very responsible of you." Maybe there was hope for this boy yet.

As Yui walked off to her class, Naruto looked around at the empty hallway. His eyes still widened in disbelief.

"What the fuck just happened?"


After the end of the school day, the students had the last few minutes to themselves to talk and socialize. Of course, most of them took this as a chance to take out their phones and update their statuses.

Naruto took this as a chance to gather up most of his friends and introduce them to his illegal tenant. He walked in front of his group and towards the princess. "Guys, let me formally introduce you to Lala S. Deviluke. She just transferred here from out of the country and she is going to be staying with me as part of a foreigner housing program."

He so would have high-fived himself if he knew he wouldn't have looked like a nutter doing it.

How the hell did Barney make it look so natural?

After Lala had finished waving happily to the little group, Naruto turned to her instead. "Lala, these are my friends. This is Sairenji Haruna."

"Hey Haruna!"

"Hello again Lala-San."

"This is Yuuki Rito."

"H-hey" Rito said weakly, nervous and still a little traumatized from the failed love attempt a few weeks earlier. Lala cupped her chin and looked at him quizzically. "W-what?"

"Have I met you before?" Naruto, Rito, and (to a more subtle degree) Haruna all cringed being reminded of the accident. Lala continued to squint before placing her fist in her palm. "I remember now! You were the one who confe-"

Naruto clasped his hands around Lala's mouth before she could spill the beans. Rito let out a long breath before nodding a thanks to Naruto. "Th-that's not something we need to discuss here Lala. So let's just forget about the whole thing."

"Oho, what's this you are trying to hide from us Uzumaki?" The bespectacled girl of the perv duo said as she leaned forward and laughed into her hand. "A dirty little secret that none need to know of?"

" I think the young lad had a good time with a young girl? Perhaps too good of a time?" Chided Risa as she tried to spur on Naruto's anger. Which was working evident to the raging pulse on top of his head.

"Do you freaks have libidos for brains or is sex drive just your natural instinct?"

"Me thinks the young Uzumaki doth protest too much?"

"Ugh..." Naruto rubbed his face and turned to Lala. "Lala, these are Mio Sawada and Risa Momioka. If you like the state of your butt as it is, don't ever turn your back to them." Risa and Mio chuckled and gave the girl a peace sign.

"Sup Lala-chi."

"And those are all of my friends. If you ever need anything, just ask them."

"Uhhuuummm-" the entire group looked to the side where a black-haired boy was coughing into his fist and pointing at himself.

"Can I help you?"

"Aren't you forgetting someone? Someone who is the most important person in your very life and deserves to be introduced to the sexy girl he has been dying to meet since SHE WALKED TO SCHOOL TWO WEEKS AGO?!"

"Oh. Okay. Lala, this is a monkey. You should not feed or poke fun at them because they have been known to attack and rip your face off." Naruto then felt a pair of arms encircle around his torso and was being lifted off his feet ever so carefully.

Saruyama threw Naruto over his head and straight into the door, leaving all of their little group stunned by his action. Saru then appeared kneeling in front of Lala, holding her hand in his. "Kenichi Saruyama, at your service my dear lady. The lover of women and the passionate Casanova of Sainan High-School."

"Or the Deviant Monkey of the girls changing room."

"Or the Panty Raider of the freshmen class."

"Or just plain pervert Saruyama. The list goes on."

"My dear Lala-chan, I have a question I must ask you. A question that has haunted my mind since I laid eyes on you all those days ago." He stood up and screamed with tears pouring out if his eyes. "WHY HIM? WHY NARUTO? WHAT DID THAT USELESS ASS DO TO GET SUCH A GIRL LIKE THIS IN HIS HOUSE? WHAT HAS HE DONE TO YOU? HAVE YOU EXPERIMENTED IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES? DID HE PLAY WITH YOUR TITTIES YET?"

"SARU! YOU ARE DEAD!" Saruyama was tackled to the ground by a blur of blond light. Rito and Haruna looked at where Naruto and Saruyama were grappling on the floor, screaming obscenities at each other as the two reasonable teens tried to mediate between them.

Risa and Mio were busy talking up the new student. "Despite his more eccentric style of asking Saruyama is right. How the hell did Uzumaki score a piece like you?"

"Well Naruto is actually my Fiancée."




Mio and Risa looked at her wide eyed as they didn't expect her to actually enforce the rumor. They turned their backs to her and bent down to whisper. "D-do you really think Uzumaki is going to marry Lala-chi?"

"Probably?" Misa was actually kind of nervous from the direction this talk was taking. "Maybe he got her pregnant or something?"

"That seems like something he would do."

"No! No! That's not it!" Naruto popped back up between the group of girls, his hair a little ruffled up but no worse for wear. The same could not be said for the passed out friend behind him being checked on by Rito and Haruna. "Y-you see, I-it's an issue of a language barrier. She's misinterpreting the word for Fiancée for-um-something else."

Risa and Mio looked at him lamely before eyeing each other and then to the boy again. "What language is that exactly?"

"Uh-well-do you speak any other languages?"


"Then you don't know do you? Oh well." Naruto grabbed Lala by the shoulders and lead her out of the room. "See ya later guys!" He waved over his shoulder and him and Lala were gone.

"Saruyama! Come on! Back to us man!"

"R-Rito? I-I saw it. It was a beautiful light. With an orgy full of woman at the end of it. Put me back! Put me back damn it!"

The group just looked at him and dropped him where he was, leaving him to pass and die.


Haruna was walking out of her room with some of the teacher's reports and files in hand. She had promised to Honekawa-Sensei that before she would leave, she would drop off all of his stuff into the front office. That was her duty as Class Representative and she would do it to the best of her ability.

And before she reached the front office, she had met up with another class representative. "Eh? Kotegawa-San?"

The black-haired beauty looked over her shoulder at the voice getting her attention. "Oh, Sairenji-San? How are you doing?"

"Oh I'm fine. I'm just dropping off my teacher's records before I head back home."

"Me as well. There's more and more of these papers to pick up every day." Yui looked down and noticed that her filed papers were more numerous then the ones Haruna was carrying. "Wait? Where are all of your papers?"

"Oh-um..." Haruna blushed as she tried to keep her eyes down on her feet. "We have more paperwork now because we just got a transfer student, so it was getting a bit too much for me to handle by myself. So..."

"Oi, Sairenji, are these all the papers you asked for?" Yui and Haruna looked over to Rito coming out of his classroom with the rest of the class reports. "Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?"

"No, were fine Yuuki-kun. I was just talking to Kote- huh, Kotegawaw-San?" Haruna's attention was completely on the girl with the atomic blush on her face as she seemed to be stuttering incomprehensibly.

"A-ah-ah" Yui tried to find the words as she looked at the two students she had seen conspiring in class yesterday. "Sa-Sa-Sairenji-San!"


"It is not appropriate to be in an active illicit sexual relationship with fellow students at your age!"

"E-Ehhhhhhhh?!" Both Haruna and Rito felt their brains fry at the accusation this girl was making. And as all of them stood there silently, a sense of high tension sank in. Especially when all three of them had faces that would make a tomato jealous.

"Th-the number of unplanned teenage pregnancies grows higher and higher all the time! And you need to learn to be responsible and learn to wear a condom!"


"Sairenji and I aren't dong anything like making babies after school! That's Naruto and Saruyama's job!"

"Uzumaki-kun too?! What is going on in this school?"

"No, I mean I think he does! I-I don't know anymore! What the hell is going on?!" Rito grabbed his scalp and twisted around as he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Excuse me?" All three of the blubbering teenagers looked over to the quiet yet older voice that came into their conversation. They saw the teacher coach of the Tennis Club, Sasuga-sensei, walking over to them calmly. "What is going on over here, huh?"

"Se-sensei! I don't know!" Haruna screamed as she leaned forward, close to hyperventilating. "I was just going to drop off some papers! But now I'm having relations with Yuuki-kun, I'm pregnant with a child I didn't know I had, Uzumaki-kun and Saruyama-kun are sexual deviants and I haven't set up a college plan for my kids! What do I do?" Haruna was almost crying as she fell on her knees sobbing.

"U-um, well I think I might have a solution to all of your problems?" All three of the younger teens looked up at him hopefully. And he gave them a sweet smile.

Before it twisted demonically.


"Moooooouuuuuu~, Naruto~, I'm bored. Why do we have to wait here so long anyway?" Lala said as she floated besides her pseudo-fiancée as he waited by the school gate patiently.

"Because I always wait for Rito after school. He just never takes this damn long."

"Do you think something bad happened to him and Haruna?"

"Nah, those two aren't that clumsy. And it probably wasn't anything good either. Rito still sorta wets himself if he is in the same room for too long with Haruna-chan."

"Well we can't just wait here forever. What do you suggest we do?"

"Shut up and live with it?" Lala giggled at the way Naruto shrugged and looked at her silly, making Peke fume in anger. He then felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that Rito was calling him. "M'yello?"

"Naruto Uzuamki-Kun? I'm so glad you picked up. I think I have an offer that you just won't be able to refu-"

"Sorry, not interested, talk to my dick." He lowered it to his crotch before ending the call right there. He looked over to Lala staring at him in shock. "Telemarketers." He felt the phone vibrate again and got the same number as before. "M'yello?"

"Did you just hang up on me?"

"Don't know? Was it something like this?" Shut the phone again. Naruto just stood there silently, scratching his butt. And he got another call. He sighed and answered again. "Look man, I'm not interested in buying any of your shit. So can you leave me al-"

"I have your friends here."

Naruto stopped his cocky remark and his eyes widened in horror. "W-what?"

"Yuuki Rito. Sairenji Haruna. Kotegawa Yui. They are all right here besides me, tied up and unconscious. And if you do not come to the back of the school with the heir of Deviluke by your side, well... I would hate to have to leave pieces for the local police to find like some deranged puzzle. Heh."

Naruto shivered as a cold sweat ran down his back, swallowing a lump in his throat and lowering the phone to his side. Lala stopped her floating and stood next to him, "Naruto? What's wrong?"


Rito felt his head spinning in pain as he tried to open his bleary eyes. He tried to focus his vision on the wavering light bulb at the top of the shack he had suddenly found himself in. Rito tried to rub his eyes but found that he couldn't move his arms.

Rita's eyes focused and he looked and saw that his arms, body and legs were being bound by a strange mechanical wire. "Wh-what the hell?"

"Man, these two are some pretty top-tier girls." Rito looked over to his side, seeing Sasuga-Sensei inspect Haruna-chan's and Kotegawa's...um...assets. "Sairenji doesn't have much for boobs but her overall body line goes great for her. And this other girl has got all the right curves, just what I'm looking for in a woman." He was coming close to grabbing them as they were unconscious before-

"Don't you dare touch them you bastard!" Sasuga flinched in surprise and looked over to where Rito was glaring at him and attempting to rip his face off. "What the hell are you doing to us? What the hell is this about?"

"Oh, Yuuki Rito, I don't think you would wake up so soon." Sasuga walked away from the girls and tried to refocus himself on the task at hand. "Must be because I used most of the spray on these girls. Shit. Oh well, I'll just have to make this work with a witness."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I just need some leverage for Naruto Uzumaki to deliver Lala to me. After that...we'll see what happens.."

"L-Lala? What does Lala have to do with this? Wait! What are you going to do to Naruto you bastard?" Rito kept trying to escape from the wires with little reward.

"I need Uzumaki Naruto to hand over Princess Lala so that I can claim the crown. I've been bouncing around the entire galaxy trying to find that girl, and now that she's stuck in one place, I'm not letting this chance slip by. After he hands her over, I don't give a shit what you do. Go nuts for all I care."

Rito just looked at him like he had just slipped into talking like a nut-job half way through. "What? Princess? Galax- What the hell have you been smoking sensei? Aren't you supposed to be setting an example and not resort to drugs?" Sasuga looked at him tiredly and sighed.

"Right, I forgot people on this planet are blissfully ignorant of the outside. Pfft, perfect place to hide, a back-water planet with no contact to the outside." Sasuga reached down to the nape of his neck and seemed to be grabbing for something. "Well, Yuuki Rito, your friend Naruto Uzumaki is currently in possession of the greatest possible asset in the galaxy. He has the dim-witted bimbo Princess of the largest empire this side of the universe currently on a leash. And I want her for myself."

Sasuga grabbed the skin on his neck and started to peel it back, revealing a strange purple, reptilian like skin underneath it. Rito felt his breathing hitch as the face of the tennis instructor was pulled away, revealing the face of a scaly, beady eyed monster with a long tongue and sharp teeth. He kinda looked like Frieza during one of his transformations.

"And I'm going to get her, by any means necessary."

Rito felt all of his blood go cold from looking at the creature. He was an alien. A real-life alien. Aliens are real. This was impossible, right? And somehow, Naruto had gotten himself into the middle of a very bad situation. "Yo-yo-you're a-"


"Alright! Let my friends go you mother-FUCK YOU'RE UGLY!" Naruto stood at the door he had abruptly slammed open, planning to dish out a badass threat like something out of Taken or Lethal Weapon. But instead, he got the front row seat to the shark looking freak keeping Rito, Haruna-chan and Yum-Yui-chan tied to he wall.

"Naruto! He's a freaking alien! Sasuga-sensei is actually an alien!"

"Y-yeah, and he comes to our world all the way from the Planet Damn!" Naruto was trying to adjust to this form of alien life when Lala appeared next to him.

"Did you find them Naru- eh? Ghi Bree! What are you doing here?" Lala asked as she seemed to forget about the situation at hand.

"Ah, Lala, there you are. Good, come over here. You're coming with me now."

"I don't wanna!" Lala stuck out her tongue and pulled down her eye, insulting Ghi Bree and making him hiss in anger. "I'm gonna stay here with Naruto!"

"Tch, well it really isn't up to you..." The alien turned his head and gave Naruto a smile that spread through his entire jaw. "Naruto Uzumaki, hand the Deviluke princess over right now."

Naruto looked between Lala, to Ghi, and back to Lala, and finally to Ghi. "Um, no. She's not really mine to give." He scratched his head in bewilderment, "Did your plan ever put into consideration what Lala wanted?"

"I don't care what she fucking wants! I just need her to become King!"

"And I not going to let you take her dumbass. Christ, do any of you space guys get the fucking concept of the word consensual?" Stepped inbetween Ghi and Lala, who was smiling happily at her blond protector. "If you want her, then you are going to have to go through me."

Ghi Bree smiled maniacally, "That's fine. If you don't surrender her to me..." He lifted up a switch in his hand and pushed the button, causing the wires around Rito, Haruna and Yui to constrict. Causing Rito to groan and Yui and Haruna to moan in their unconscious stupor.

"Guys! You son of a-"

"If you don't hand her over to me this instant, I will kill all three of your friends. Now, you don't want their blood on your hands, do you?" Naruto looked at the alien in anger, and then to his friends.

Rito struggled, "Naruto...run."

Naruto gritted his teeth in anger and felt Lala grab his shoulder. He looked back at her as she seemed to be fearing what would happen next. "Naruto, I'll go with him if it can keep them safe."

Naruto felt his heart stop at the idea. If she went with him, yeah it would keep them safe, but for like a day. Soon enough, Gid would find out and follow up on his threat of destroying the Earth. And that meant every single person on the planet would die. But if he didn't give her up, Rito, Haruna and Yui would be strangled to death.

Shit! Shit-shit-FUCK! What the hell was he supposed to do?

"I-I can't. I can't let you."

"What? Naruto please, they are going to die!"

"Well you know, there is another way." Ghi Bree's skin started to turn black as his muscle mass increased, shredding through his sensei clothes and leaving him a giant hunk of a beast, ready to shred Naruto to pieces. "If I kill you here, then the title of front runner to the Devilukean Empire belongs to me."

Fuck! And if the bitch didn't look like a Frieza rip-off before.

Naruto was almost physically sweating out of fear of what his options were leaving him in.

"N-Naruto! Run! Before its too late!" Rito said as he tried to ignore the constricting pain.

"Naruto, please let me go! I don't want any of you to die!" Lala said as she almost had tears coming out the edge of her eyes.

"Hehehe, give me Lala, let your friends suffer, or die? Your choice Uzumaki? Oh, and if you make any sudden moves, I'll set this thing to maximum and watch your friends' organs squeeze out of their mouths." Ghi Bree said almost gleefully.

Naruto gritted his teeth together in anger. If he made a move, his friends died! If he let her go, everyone died! If he died, Lala would suffer and just for good measure that fucker Gid would probably blow the Earth up out of spite. Naruto looked down at his feet for a moment before everything stopped, he no longer slouched and stood up, his eyes covered by his hair.

"Finish it."

Lala covered her mouth in horror. Rito tried to screamed at him to run. Ghi Bree smiled and laughed. "You actually forsake yourself for these people? Hehe, that's amazing. I can't believe you are such an idiot to-"

"You need to kill me. You need to make sure you can kill me in one hit." Naruto said with an almost emotionless tone. Ghi Bree actually looked confused at that statement.


"Because you need to make sure, for your own safety, that I don't get back up from your first hit. Because..." Slowly, a strange feeling started to fill the small room. Ghi Bree felt a cold sensation run up his entire body as he found it slightly more difficult to breathe. And then he saw it...

Two pointy fox-like ears, red with snow tipped ends popped out of the blond boy's head. Four crimson red tails slowly surfaced from out of his back, waving around slowly like a hypnotic image. The boy's hands started to shake, more and more power flowing through his body as blood started to slip out from between his fingers where he squeezed too hard. He looked up at the alien, his eyes becoming slitted like an animal's and the whiskers on his face becoming more feral and scarred like.


"Because let me tell you what will happen if you don't kill me in one hit. If you are open for a second, even a nano-second, I will retaliate a thousand fold. I will come down on you with so much fury, Satan and God would go sick at the sight of it. I will rip off your arms and use them to tear your legs out from underneath you. And then, just to hammer in the message that you should never mess with the people I care about, I may just SKULL FUCK THE REMAINS!"

Ghi Bree took a step back, his knees shaking as he looked into the eyes of the monster in front of him. Lala and Peke looked at Naruto in shock. Never had they thought Naruto could change from that funny, fun-loving blond and into such a fit of rage. And Rito...

He still couldn't help but think he was hallucinating at the idea that his friend just grew ears and tails.

"So take your shot Ghi Bree. Just make sure the FIRST. HIT. COUNTS."

The alien swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his stomach and spine go weak at the sight of the angry boy. He had toyed with this kid. He actually thought he could make this person his play thing and make him fall on his knees, begging for mercy.

N-no! No! He was Ghi Bree! The Great Ghi Bree-sama! Royalty of the Balkean Race! Future Ruler of the Devilukean Empire! No backwards hick alien on some bumpkin planet would stop him!

He looked Naruto straight into his crimson eyes, furrowed in anger directly at him. All he had to do was kill him. He ran forward with his fist back.

He could intimidate him! He was the best!

He was!

He was-

"AHHHHHHH, MAMAAAAAA, SAVE MEEEEEE!" The bulky alien screamed in a shrill voice as he fell on his side, cradling his knees in the fetal position. Naruto, Lala, Rito and Peke looked at him in shock as the three humans dropped their jaws in the complete change in atmosphere as Peke sweat dropped. "WHAAAAAAAA, FUDGE, FUDGE HAS BEEN MADE!"

Naruto and Lala just looked at him as their opinion of him completely change from what it was before. Naruto looked over to the princess incredulously, throwing a thumb in the direction of the weeping E.T. "Oh that's right, Ghi Bree is a total weakling and coward" the ditzy princess said as she slammed her fist in her hand.

Naruto just palmed his face so hard his nose let out a few drips of blood. He retracted his tails and ears and walked over to the hostages.

"W-wait, i-if you go near them, I-I'll-" Naruto suddenly turned to him and threatened him with a punch, causing the alien to scream and go back into his fetal. Naruto walked over to Rito and pulled the wires off of him rather easily, making Rito look at them like it had suddenly turned into some type of prank.

Rito freed Haruna and Naruto freed Yui. They both grabbed the girls' underneath their legs and carried them out of the shack, Lala following behind them. Naruto walked to the side and laid Yui down gently, before clapping his hands and walking to the door. Lala turned to him, "What are you doing Naruto?"

"Well, I'm not as mad as before, now that I know he's just a small man that talks big. But, I still got to teach him a little lesson. You know, he flinched, need to give him two back. I'll be out in a minute." He smiled and slowly slid the door.

"Wh-what are you- OH GOD!" Lala and Rito cringed, the shack actually started to shake as their were sounds of rustling and metal banging inside the place. "OW, OW! STO-NOT THE FACE! WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT PADD-NOOOOOO, NOT MY BUTT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" All of the screaming stopped as Naruto walked back out with a smile on his face and a small, chubby alien held in his hand.

"I done caught me a marlin! Haha!" The two teens didn't know how to react as they just looked at him. "What?"

"Naruto-dono, did you mean what you said in there? About-um-"

"The threat? Well, I was really that pissed off about it but I wasn't actually going to rip him to shreds or nothing. I just said that to instill some fear and doubt into him. So that if he actually did try to attack me, I would counter it and knock him out before he could do anything. I'm not about to fucking give my life up like that to this asshole. And I'm not about to give you or my friends up either. So don't worry, okay Lala?" He reached out and ruffled her hair a little, giving her a great big smile.

Lala slowly smiled back and nodded in agreement. The Naruto she knew would never give her up like that. And he wasn't going to let himself or his friends die either.

Naruto lowered his hand and looked over to Rito. Rito was staring at him, not moving or reacting in any way. Evident by the fact he was holding Haruna-chan in his arms and he wasn't even freaking out. Naruto bent down and looped his arms underneath Yui's legs, lifting her up in a bridal carry. "What do we do with this little fucker?"

"I can drop him off at Zastin's ship and they can take him back to his home" Lala added eagerly.

"Alright! Rito and I will drop the girls off at the nurses office. Mikado-sensei should still be there even now, so once your done come by and I'll explain the rest of the plan." Lala nodded and took Ghi Bree off his hands, flying away with wings on her back.

Naruto and Rito were left standing there, unconscious girls in their arms as Naruto faced away from his oldest Real friend. "Naruto, what happened in there, a-are you-"

"Not here. Please. I don't want to say this more then once so if I have to..." He turned around and showed Rito a truly regretful pain of sadness in his eyes. "I'd rather say this in front of Mikan too. She deserves to know just as much as you."

Rito looked at him for a tense moment, before nodding his head in agreement.


Lala sat there quietly as she waited for the girls tucked into the sterilized beds to wake up. Naruto had told her before he left to stay by their bed-sides and make sure when they wake up, she told them that she found them both unconscious in the hallway after school. And she then brought them to the office and watched over them.

Before he left with Rito, Naruto looked pained. Like he was walking into a battle he knew he wasn't going to come out of. And even though she wanted to be besides him when he told the truth, she knew she had to take care of this first.

As the room turned red from the setting sun, Haruna and Yui started to stir awake, much to Lala's glee. Haruna opened her eyes first and groaned, trying to adjust herself to where she was. "Wh-where am I-"


"L-Lala-San?" She looked down at the girl with a tear in her eye and a wide smile on her face as she nuzzled into the chest of the blue-haired girl. "What's going on here?"

"I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Ughhhhh, what am I doing here?" Yui pulled herself out of the sheets of the bed and rubbed her aching head.


"Huh, Sairenji-San? And... I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Oh" Lala rubbed her eyes and turned over to the ebony-haired girl. "I'm Lala Satalin Deviluke. You can call me Lala."

"O-oh, hello Lala-San. I-I'm Kotegawa Yui. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Hi Yui. I'm glad you both woke up, I was worried there a second!"

Haruna rubbed her bleary eyes. "What happened to us?"

"Yes, I remember taking the class folders and meeting Sairenji-San on the way there. And then...everything is just a blur."

"Yeah, you and Haruna passed out in the hallway." The two girls looked at the pink-haired girl in disbelief.

"W-we passed out?"

"Yeah! Mikado-sensei said you guys had Anemia? I can't remember. I was too worried you guys were hurt or something."

"H-how did we get here?"

Lala looked at the two girls who were hanging on to every word she said. She looked at them and said, "Naruto and Rito found you guys and brought you here."

The two girls looked in shock before both turning so crimson you would think the rest of their body would turn ice cold from losing body heat.


"Uzumaki-kun, h-helped me?"

"Yeah! Rito found you two passed out in the hallway and yelled for help. Then me and Naruto arrived and checked over you guys. Then Naruto and Rito picked you both up and brought you here. Sensei said they were so worried that she had to send them back home and had me watch over you instead."

Haruna lifted her hands to her cheeks and actually felt the heat radiating off of them as Yui had her eyes covered by her hair. "Yuuki-kun brought me here?"


"Lala-San..." Lala and Haruna turned to the other girl who was looking down in her lap. "When Uzumaki-kun brought us here, did he touch me?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, he picked you up like a princess and all and brought you here like a knight in shining armor." Lala said cheerfully and gave the new girl a smile. Before she noticed that Yui's shoulders were shaking roughly. "Huh?"



"Kotegawa-San, c-calm down!"

"I'll get him for this! I swear it!"

The girl's screams and yells echoed out through the hallway as Lala and Haruna tried to calm her down. After sometime, Lala started to joke at the girls, causing them to try and argue their point rather lamely. The new student couldn't help but laugh in glee at the fun she was having with her new friends.

Mikado stood outside, leaning against her window with a pleasant smile on her face. Before it shrank and she seemed to become worried and sad.


Lala floated down to the front lawn of the house next door, hiding her wings again. She could see a light from the door and she could tell that Naruto was still inside because her house was still dark.

She opened the door and walked in, immediately seeing the front room where Naruto was sitting in a couch opposite of Rito and a brown-haired girl. They were looking at him with their faces frozen in shock. And Naruto sat there quietly, his tails and ears out for all to see.

Mikan breathed out silently, "S-so you really are a-"


Rito leaned into his hands, "And that guy today, there are others like him too?"

"Yeah. All of them are after Lala so they can become King." Naruto sat up straight and made his alien features disappear as he looked at them with worry. "I know that I lied to you, but I never wanted to be a part of this. And I certainly didn't want either of you to be brought into it as well. I'm sorry." He reached out to touch Mikan's knee. "But if you give me a chance-"

Mikan stood up before he could make contact, she walked away from him without making eye contact and walked into the kitchen, closing the door.

Naruto had such pain on his face you couldn't tell the difference between him now or if he got shot. He looked to his best friend as his last chance...


Rito stood up, just like his sister, and followed her into the kitchen.

Naruto looked at them as they left, horror and grief evident across his whole face. He slowly closed his eyes and brought a hand to cover his them, sighing tiredly. "Lala, come out. I know you're there."

Lala walked out of her hiding spot behind the wall, looking at the sitting boy with sadness. She walked up behind him.

"Were they okay?"


"Good. I'm glad they weren't hurt or anything. Well, I guess that takes care of everything." Naruto sat there for a moment as an uncomfortable silence fell between them.

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault. In fact, this is probably for the better. Now they won't be put in danger like Rito was today, so they are safer and that's all that matters. Besides I always knew some thing like this would happen and I've been preparing for it, hehe, so I'm fine. Really. Come on, we should go get something to eat before-"

Lala wrapped her arms around Naruto's shaking shoulders, his hand still covering his eyes as he hid them watering in front of everybody. He stopped his musing, letting the girl hold onto him as a way to say that she wasn't going to go anywhere. Wherever he went in this, she would be by his side the whole way.

And at the moment, that meant the world to him.

The door opened up again and Naruto and Lala looked up to see Rito walk out and stand behind the adjacent couch, glaring at him angrily. Following him, Mikan stepped out with a equally stern glare, a frying pan in her hand. She walked up and stood in front of Naruto.


Lala looked in shock as the young girl smashed the flat side of the pan into Naruto's face, causing a small ident into the other side of the kitchen ware. She pulled back to reveal a stunned blond, who slowly fell to his knees and clutched his agonizing face, screaming in pain.

"That's for lying to us for 10 years you jerk! An alien! You were an alien and you never told us the truth!"

Naruto tried to answer but his face was hurting way too much. Mikan walked back and swiftly handed the dented pan into Rito's hand, who walked up to Naruto instead.


An even deeper and more detailed imprint came out as Rito brought the pan down like a hammer. Lala's wide eyes couldn't believe what was happening as Naruto rolled on the floor screaming.

"That's for thinking that after everything we've been through, all the time you've spent with us, and you would think that we would hate you for being an alien! How shallow do you think we are you ass?"

Naruto lifted his red face, some water coming out of his eyes. "Huh?"

"Do you think that even if you are an alien, you would be anything different to us? Seriously! Aren't we best friends! Put some faith into us after all this time!"

Mikan kneeled down to look at him in the face. "Do you understand Naruto?" He looked up at her as she gave him a deep and honest smile, her brother standing right behind her and with a similar look on his face. "No matter what you are, you will always be the same to us. You are our brother Naruto first, and then an alien after. And even if you take on a fiancée or become a king, you will always still be the same Naruto that we have known our whole lives."

"So if you ever need to tell us something, you can't make an excuse for yourself anymore. Right?"

Naruto looked at them in pure disbelief as Lala smiled happily behind him. He lowered his head and his shoulders were heaving. "R-Rito, Mi-Mikan..."

They both gave him a happy smile.



"Do you understand how much that fucking hurts! Dammit, it's not as fun as it looks on T.V. Alright!"

"Wh-hu-Hey, we're the ones who are supposed to be mad at you for lying to us for a whole decade! Don't turn this around!"

"Yeah, brothers, family for life, all that jazz. It's a pretty sour fucking note after you beat my face in with dining ware! You know what, screw it! I'm hungry after all the crap that happened today! Mikan! Feed me!"

The siblings just looked at him incredulously as Mikan shook her head in disbelief before smiling. "Okay. Give me some time to reheat the food. Set the table, okay?"

Lala watched as Naruto and Rito got up and started to fix up a table in the other room. She saw them argue about the fact about him being an alien, before Naruto reminded Rito that he was cuddling up to Haruna an hour earlier. She watched amazed as Naruto teased Rito and laughed, a far cry from how he was just a few moments ago.

"Lala-San, right?" The princess turned around to the younger girl behind her, holding a pot of steaming hot food. "I'm Mikan Yuuki. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Can you help me set up dinner? Its a bit to me by myself."

Lala looked at the girl and she couldn't believe what was happening. In a moment, they had destroyed all of Naruto's doubts and had accepted him like a dear family member. And now, even she was feeling a certain air of relief just standing next to this girl.

These were Rito and Mikan Yuuki. Naruto's best friends.

Lala smiled and nodded her head.


"Ugh, I think I'm still full from last night. I forgot how good Mikan's food felt after you were done. See Lala, that's a healthy meal."

"Mmmmmm, I want more and more of Mikan's food!"

"Yeah, I get that too." Naruto looked over to Rito who still had a red face. "You alright Rito?"

"I-I'm a-a-"

"Yeah, Rito, you need to learn that you should never take Peke off Lala's head. I found that out the hard way." Rito lowered his face in embarrassment as Naruto laughed his head off.

The three of them reached the shoe lockers and made their sepreate ways. Naruto pulled open his cubby and looked in to grab his shoes and saw...

A letter.

A white envelope that was placed on top of his shoes carefully. He looked to his right to see no body paying attention to him. And then to the left for the same conclusion. He pulled out the letter and looked at the writing.

Naruto Uzmaki-San

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the writing. So it wasn't a love letter. Damn. And here he thought Yui-chan had finally seen the light and confessed to him. Oh well.

He flipped it open and looked at the letter.

Meet me on the roof. ASAP

Naruto sighed and crumbled the paper up into a ball before tossing it into the trash. A letter of challenge. Fantastic. And here he thought he was living in the 21st century.

Naruto made his way up to the roof of the school and stood outside, waiting for this mystery challenger to make himself known.

"Wow. You actually came. Damn, guess I'm out a ¥1000." Naruto looked over his shoulder and turned around to look at the owner of the voice.

It was a male student, about his age and height. With a bored look in his eyes and hair done up into a weird, pineapple like manner? Had he seen this kid before?

"Okay I'm guessing you didn't invite me up here to confess your love, right?"

"And a smartass comment before noon. Yep, definitely the guy we we're looking for."

"Listen, you are probably the first guy in a while who actually wants to kick my ass by himself. Definitely the only guy in, what, the last century to use a letter of challenge. So let's just get this over with before I'm late to class, okay?" Naruto slipped into a lazy stance and prepared for what was going probably going to be a quick brawl before dropping him off at Mikado's and-

"Alright, here I go." The boy said rather lamely as he yawned in his hand a prepared to read the lines he was forced to memorize earlier. "Naruto Uzumaki. My name is Shikamaru Nara. Junior Agent of the Chronos Alien Immigration Organization. You are hereby charged with the crimes of; Illegal Immigration, Harboring an Illegal Alien Lifeform, Aggressive Actions Against a Royal Family Member and Withholding Information of Other Alien Locations. We wish to take you in for questioning under threat of immediate deportation from Earth."





########Omake: Those Poor Unfortunate Cat-Lovers########

Yui and Haruna were on their way home from parting away from Lala a few minutes earlier.

"That insufferable fool. I swear I will never forgive him for this."

"H-he did help you Kotegawa-San. I don't think Uzumaki-kun meant any ill intention to what he was doing."

"You don't understand Sairenji-San! Lately its always the same thing! He touches me inappropriately and blames it as an accident! He snuck into the girls' changing room naked while I was the only one changing! He flips my skirt so he can distract the principal and uses me as bait! If I don't watch my back, I feel like Uzumaki-kun will take the chance to do something-something- ahhhhhhhh!"

"O-oh my." Haruna felt her face heat up. Was the same Uzumaki-kun doing things like this while none of them knew about it. And he was going to bring Yuuki-kun into it! No! Nooooooooo!

Both of the girls stopped their mutual worry as they saw a slumbering dark grey kitten, snoring lightly on the edge of a wall. They both looked at him quietly and looked between each other.

"Here kitty, kitty. Can I pet you?" Haruna slowly walked forward and tried to get near the small kitten. She got no negative or positive reaction from the slumbering cat.

"S-Sairenji-San...is it safe to try and pet a stray cat?" Yui whispered.

"Kotegawa-San, come and pet him. I think he's friendly." Haruna whispered back as she tried to coax the disciplinary committee girl to pet the kitten.

Yui tried to resist, but her dormant kitten loving self started to act up and at the sight of the cat couldn't help but try to walk up to it. She stood besides Haruna, gazing up at the cute sleeping creature. She reached out, "Here Kitty Kitty Ki-"


Yui and Haruna were silent as they looked at the cat that's head had grown ridiculously huge and whose razor sharp teeth suddenly bit into her hand. Yui didn't react at all as the cat let go of her hand and went back to sleeping. Yui brought her hand in and looked at it.

"*sniff**sniff* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa~, the kitty hates meeeeee!" Yui ran off, crying into her sleeve.

"K-Kotegawa-San! I'm sorry!" Haruna tried to apologize as she ran after her.

What they didn't notice was that as they ran passed, a tall girl with long black hair wearing a pink sailor uniform watched the two younger students run off in the opposite direction. She craned her neck towards the source of the problem.

The neighborhood cat.

She walked up to it. "You know, it isn't nice to be hurting other girls. I can take it but most girls can't see pass your cute exterior and into the pit of pure black hearted evil that is you true existe-"


Sakaki couldn't control herself. After hearing the cat meow at her, she tried to pet it once again.


Damn it.


Done. This is one of the chapters in my BIRTHDAY BANANZA BASH BITCHES!

Also, if you are wondering, yes that is Sakaki and the evil cat from Azumanga-Daioh. If you want a cat that will always bite, forget lions and tigers...

Go for Daioh cat


thanks and bye