Total darkness. The epitome of it, actually. I cannot feel and frankly I do not want to. Feeling causes so much hurt. Too much pain. Happiness leads to love. Love leads to heartbreak. Heartbreak leads to emptiness. And if one is really stupid enough, the cycle will start again.

I was orphaned at age six, then sent to an orphanage. You receive little human contact in a place like that. It explains why I never open up. I have a single friend. For my own sake. I am not stupid enough to drive myself insane, mind you.

I put up with the 'normal' friendship circumstances. I talk to him and visit his place of business often. I listen to him. Go on and on about his girlfriend and his thoughts on how everybody needs someone to love.


I have lived for 18 years. All of them I have not known love. That could be based on the fact I cannot remember the first six years of my life, but still. I'm perfectly fine without love. Everybody could be as well if they would stop being so gung-ho on the concept. Idiots.

Then you come around.

So full of life and energy. Love permeates from your single being, wandering to everybody around you. So it is only inevitable Motoki invites you to be a friend. God knows he'll never have enough friends.

You accidentally hit me with a test. Then a shoe. Then another shoe. (Seriously, how many shoes do you own?) You fight with me, not letting your love affect me. But yet, it still does. Every minute you fight back, I start to feel.

Feel how great it is to have someone your equal. Not trying to persuade me to live a little. Die a little by feeling.

Except you already screwed me over on that count. You make me feel, even if just a little bit. You bring me out of my self-proclaimed darkness.

A/N: I go back to school in...one day. Tuesday. I don't want to! I want to keep writing! Well, Sundays are my update day for this collection because of weekly challenges! Maybe I'll update Not a Crybaby tomorrow. No Promises. Please review! Leave ideas!