By Formerly Known As
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic or any of the related characters. In this case,
I think Sega does. I DO own this piece of writing and if you steal you will be
tortured by the demons of hell. Or my lawyers. Or both. Clear enough? Okay
Warning this sucker is IN THE ROUGH. And I mean rough. As in…unedited,
uncompleted, and just…well…What I mean to say is that if you review this piece
(I would like some feed back but I'm not greedy) just be gentle. Be very
They call me a hero. Give me high fives. Salute me. I want to kill them. All
of them. Don't they get it? Don't they understand that being called a hero
It doesn't pay the bills. It doesn't put food on the table. It doesn't earn me
friends, only lackeys and clinger-ons. Hero. Saved the world. It sounds so
important. But in truth, it means nothing. Jack squat.
Tails is getting all concerned about me. So is Knuckles. He hasn't gone back
up to the damn rock in the sky. His words not mine. Amy seems to be in a near
panic over my mood. Even that stupid Omochao seems worried about me. Everyone's
worried about me. And I can't find the balls to care.
I know I've been moody lately. Haven't been myself, says Knuckles. Says Tails.
They all say that. Well I say fuck off. They don't know me well enough to know
what is me and what isn't. All they see is my attitude. The cool exterior I
throw off. They don't know me. They just know the hero. The dumb stupid,
Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh. Maybe I'm being a little cruel. But I'm
finding it so hard to care. So hard. Everything seems harder these days. Even
running. Especially running. Cause every time I run, I see his face. His face
staring at me. Watching me as he falls away.
Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to be so brave, so great, so...
heroic? Why did he have to die? Why, why WHY! Nothing ever makes sense
anymore. It just hurts. I miss him. I barely knew him and I miss him. It's
so hard for me to play hero when I know, I KNOW he's the real hero. Not me.
I never liked being a hero. I always pretend to be all vain and soak up all the
attention. Okay, I'll admit, I like the attention. I like the praise. It does
wonder for my ego. But I always hated being a hero. Always. I pretended
otherwise, but I never liked it. Why? I don't know. Probably because there
are always other people, people who do much bigger better things than me and
never get any notice. And not doctors and firemen who save lives. I mean
people like teachers and just random people. People who give you that little
bit of advice. That smile as you pass. That little bit of something that makes
life seem worth living for at least one more day. People who save souls.
People who do it with out even realizing it. The real heroes.
And I didn't even realize until he died. Until he was dead, a burned up crisp
of ash falling down to the earth. Or maybe floating around in space. He made
me realize just how much I hate being called a hero when all I do is save the
world. Anyone can do it. Really! Try it some time. It's a lot easier than it
looks. And Eggman looks tough and talks tough, but he isn't really. I'm not
the only one who can take him out. Tails has taken him down. So has Knuckles.
I'm not really needed. I just save the world so I have something to do on the
weekends. It's practically a hobby now. It isn't even about the world anymore
it's just about me seeing if I can take Eggman out this time or if he'll finally
succeed in taking me down. Or that's just how it seems.
Maybe space twisted my perspective, twisted me. That's what Tails thinks it is.
Maybe it's all just grief. That's what Amy thinks it is. Knuckles thinks I'm
just being a pain in the ass just to be a pain in the ass. Everyone has some
idea of why I'm so moody. Except for me. But I know one thing.
I hate being a hero. It means nothing.
And that really sucks.
Because maybe, just maybe, if it meant something, I wouldn't be so depressed.
Maybe I wouldn't be pissing off all my friends. Maybe I wouldn't be thinking
about killing the next person who looks at me. Maybe I'd be normal.
Or maybe not. Hard to say.
All I know is, I can't take this much longer. I can't take being called a hero.
I can't take watching my friends sit around and talk about what's wrong with me.
I can't take being awarded stupid medals that I can't even pawn off for some
cash. I can't take waking up each morning wondering if I'll die today. I can't
take wondering if it will be by Eggman's hand or my own. I can't take reliving
his death every night in my dream. And I just can't take sitting around doing
nothing and being someone while everyone else does something and is no one.
Maybe I should buy a gun. Or a pizza.
Damn, I wish I had some money.