Twilight - (Edwards Point of View) - Chapter One
This weekend had been particularly dull. We had just returned from our game of baseball and while the others discussed, bickered and fought over each score, I wondered what the point was. We were dead, forever unchanging. I couldn't see a reason for our existence but I continued with the human role play each day for them - my family.
I kept my bitter thoughts and misery contained on this dreaded Sunday night, I stayed hidden in my room reading one of Carlisle's newly discovered 16th century novels. Sometime during the night I lowered my book and watched the night grow steadily darker until the stars appeared, this was how I usually ended the day.
Today was Monday, the start to another week. Another week that I would drift through lessons I didn't need, another week I would block the senseless babble out of my already depressing thoughts, another week I wished I were able to sleep as to avoid the mind numbingly boring repeativeness this life had bought upon me.
In the car on the way to Forks High School it was a quiet ride per usual. Alice was staring into the rear-view mirror at her husbands pitch black eyes, thinking about how this weekend we would have to hunt, in order to keep Jaspers self control for human blood under control.
We weren't like others of our kind, we didn't want to be the monsters we were created to be instead we rebelled against it - drinking from only animals.
Our last hunting trip had been ten days ago and this was not a fairly long period to go without blood. However, resisting was harder for Jasper than it was for the rest of us, he hadn't had as long to adjust to our ways and his previous companions did not follow our vegetarian diet.
Rosalie was admiring her beauty from the reflection of the car window, she enjoyed that the male species at school worshiped the ground she walked on. Rosalie's head always remained focused on herself, no deep thoughts entertained her mind so I strayed from it as much as I could.
Her soul mate and husband Emmett sat next to her, his mind on last night. He'd lost the battle of chess with Jasper, and was planning a rematch for later.
Turning into our regular spot, switching the engine off and stepping out the car into the never ending rain, a wave of thoughts hit me once again just like every single other day.
Sophie Jane, huddled in her simple black raincoat, strode past us in a hurry to get out of the drizzle. Her mind fixated on coming up with an excuse for not doing her homework. My dog ate it? Dropped it in a puddle? No come on, think of better excuses!
Mike Newton was lent against the wall next to the stairs, his vulgar eyes watching every female who walked past while Britney Smith pulled into the Forks High parking lot her mind panicking as the bell rung out.
Making our way up the wet stairs we parted going our separate ways. Alice and I were playing the younger roles whereas Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were seniors. They would leave in a few months.
As expected in each class the teacher droned on about past presidents and historic romance novels. Each class held nothing that I didn't already know.
I dropped my guard while walking to the café at lunch, just to do a routine check for suspicions of our kind. Not that there had been many over the last few years, but some imaginations did tend to wonder when looking at us - usually from a distance. We never let a person confirm their theory of course, we were perfectionists in the disappearing act.
She seems quiet…nothing special so why is everyone staring at her? Well I hope she doesn't mind sharing attention …with me of course… Ah, the thoughts of Jessica Stanley on the new petty drama of the addition to this already miniature school.
I could see her now on the way to the cafeteria with another small brunette. The new arrival. Chief of Police Charlie Swan's daughter Isabella Swan, had recently moved to this town of constant rain and clouds.
All the boys were imaging being in love with the new girl just because she was something new to look at. I had seen the same pale face repeated throughout the day from various view points. And Isabella Swan was no more special than the rest of the female population that surrounded her.
Joining the others at our regular table in the corner with our tray of props, I sat down grateful that Alice had already provided my tray of food, meaning I got to avoid the slow food queue. My sister was currently looking out for Jaspers future who was in turn letting his imagination get the better of him, his mind pictured him getting up out of his seat next to Alice, to walk over and join the group of humans on the table to our left.
He would sit down using his 'talent' to calm the surprised children, then perhaps lean forward to whisper something into Shelby Murray's ear. Feeling her pulse under his lips, letting his teeth sink into her skin…
I kicked his chair breaking him from the bloodlust he was serving under.
Sorry… He hung his head in shame as his thoughts became coloured with chagrin.
Swallowing back the new excessive flow of venom in my mouth that his fantasy had brought, I looked away. I'd had years of practise of not lunging every time I smelt the blood rushing through human veins. I still had trouble focusing on occasion and feeling Jasper's want, doubled my own. Double desire and twice the work of resistance.
I didn't want his apologies.
We should just accept his lack of resistance. It was becoming more risky with each passing day, leaving it the foolish way we did.
And Rosalie would be pissed if we had to move again.
"Its okay Jasper, nothing would of happened." Alice touched his arm in comfort.
Even though they weren't as flashy in public about their relationship as Em and Rose were, they still knew each other profoundly. So Alice understood that when Jasper looked away, he didn't want her reassurance.
Edward, watch him. Alice thought but giving a small sigh, she got up with her tray, dumped the uneaten food in the nearest bin and walked out of the cafeteria without a backwards glance.
Ha! Didn't take her long to notice the Cullen's…Automatically my head turned towards the thought and my eyes landed on Jessica Stanley.
My sight then shifted and I suddenly got lost in the large chocolate brown eyes of the face belonging to Isabella Swan, so far I remembered she had corrected everyone to call her Bella.
The girl dropped her head quickly as she caught me looking at her. It was the first time I had seen her with my own eyes.
Watching her now Isabella had her shoulders hunched over, uncomfortable at being surrounded by several curious strangers and her long wavy hair, the same colour that matched her eyes had been swept over the girls shoulders as to provide protection of some sort. From this stance I concluded that Isabella was shy unlike the people around her.
She's not even pretty…don't get why everyone's so obsessed with her…Mike, Eric. She's even got Edward Cullen's attention…Jessica's bitter thoughts ran through my head, her face portraying the opposite with a smile. My brow creased slightly. Jessica was clearly a skilled actress when it came to friendship. Looking back at the new girl, I felt the strangest urge to go up and protect her somehow from the hostile thoughts of her new companion.
"Jessica Stanley is telling the new comer all the dirty gossip on the Cullen clan."
I said to Jasper looking back towards our table.
Rosalie internally rolled her eyes.
"And the reaction?" Jaspers thoughts vigilant.
I focused on the area around Jessica expecting to hear insults and shock. Instead I heard…nothing.
Well that wasn't right. I didn't need to look over to know that the girl had not moved, Jessica's voice still carried across the cafeteria "…and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together."
I tried again focusing on only where the new girl sat but still…nothing at all.
It was like the chair was empty. Isabella's voice however was quiet but crystal clear as she inquired to which of us were Hale and Cullen.
I would have worried that it was my ability that was faulty, nevertheless the other several hundred voices swirled around chaotically in my head.
259 calories in this one little bar, that's ridiculous…
Why is her hair perfect? How does she get it so straight and in this rain!
Oh damn not again, these silly shoelaces…
…can not wait to get home and finish my game of COD.
But where were the girls thoughts?
With Jessica still rattling on about our family, I looked over at Isabella and caught her peeking at us over her shoulder. I'd had many years of observing and understanding humans, how they reacted to each different emotion was always somehow portrayed in their actions or facial expression. And those deep chocolate orbs spilled the secrets I could not hear from her mind.
Interest as Jessica had told the adoption story.
Curiosity as her eyes flickered observantly between us.
And her drop of the head and newly red stained cheeks was embarrassment to be caught looking at strangers.
I looked away, suddenly annoyed. I would find some other way to her thoughts and when I did they would be just as petty and immature as the others that surrounded her.
Realising that my family were still waiting for a reply to Jasper's question, I shrugged. No one questioned my actions. They weren't interested enough.
However my few quick looks had obviously provoked something in the new girl to question Jessica as to single me out and ask who I was.
Jessica's reply was typical. Oh dream on!
"That's Edward. He's gorgeous of course but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She said, picturing her old fantasies that I did not miss. Me coming up from behind, wrapping my arms around her waist and dipping in to kiss her on the neck. It made me half smile at what she would say if she really knew what my mouth was capable of.
Uh what is he smiling about? Freak. Rose thought drawing my attention back towards our table.
"Come on lets go, we don't want to ruin the perfect Cullen charade with lateness." Emmett chuckled, pushing up from the table and taking Rosalie's hand. Jasper and I followed after them silently.
The untouched food lay forgotten on the trays.
Biology was my next class, taught by a man who could put nothing new in his lessons, aside from copied paragraphs taken from dated textbooks and tapes that were clearly outdated in there scientific knowledge. The only decent benefactor during this class was the table I had to myself.
That was until Angela Weber walked into the room with Isabella Swan.
Oh yes…thought most of the dim witted male species as she entered the room with her head down.
The only available seat for the new comer was on my right. Bella (remembering her preferred name) looked up at that moment, most likely to view her surroundings, humans felt more at ease understanding there environment, but instead caught eye contact with me and in embarrassment looked away suddenly.
Well this should be entertaining at least. For me. The girl, Bella however would be uncomfortable. Her unconscious mind would tell her to create distance between us.
But maybe close proximity was the answer to her mute head. Not that I'd ever needed closeness before. In all of my existence, this situation had never previously occurred.
But as the she took another step forward, her scent hit me.
It hit me like a brick wall, like a car in a motorway collision.
I was no longer the human I pretended to portray everyday.
She was my prey and I a vampire. And she had the most sweetest intoxicating blood I had smelt in my 109 years. I had not imagined such a scent existed, if I had I would have searched the earth for it. Looked in every state, city and village. But that did not matter now, for she was here and I needed her. I needed to sink my teeth into that pale soft neck and feel the blood gush down my parched dry throat.
The monster in me that I had worked so hard for decades to put away, roared to the surface so easily now. He coiled to spring and attack. A small rational part of me inside, fought to remain present. Clinging onto the edge of my humanity, I grabbed the underside of the table to hold myself down, to stop from attacking but the wood just crumbled in resistance. Getting rid of the evidence, I squeezed the shards in my hand until they disintegrated, dropping them to the floor under the table where they fell scattering noiselessly.
How much damage would I do in this one hour?
Bella was still taking the same step that had caused this havoc.
She would sit next to me and I would kill her. I saw no other option.
Watching her every movement, she looked up once more and caught my gaze. Her expression changed to shock and I saw my enraged face reflected in her eyes.
With a new blush Bella sped up unconsciously sensing the danger, tripping over a stray book in the aisle.
Providing more advantage on my side.
She was weak. An easy target. An easy prey.
Bella reached the teachers desk, I watched through a red haze as Mr Banner passed a book and a newly signed slip over to the doomed child.
My eyes were trained on her back as Bella turned around, sending another wave of pure deliciousness around the room with her moving hair. The monster laughed and rubbed his hands in glee as Bella made her way towards us, her head hung low.
She was so close.
I could see the blood pumping through her almost translucent neck as she walked forward. I could feel the venom seeping through my teeth, ready for when I would strike.
I had one hour and so the demon within me began to strategise. The windows were to high to escape but the door remained open, not causing a big problem as the students would not hear me approach. I had them all trapped. I could snap four or five necks in a second, it would take me less than a minute to end every life in this room.
Strategically if I drained the girl first, someone would notice which would create panic. They would scream and try to flee the room causing more lives to be taken in this dark hour. So the others would be first, if I was to start with the back and move forward nobody would see their approaching death.
However Bella, the girl with the luscious blood would see the bodies, she would know that she was next maybe even have time to work up a quiet scream that would not bring anyone running.
Picturing the girls frightened face and the dead bodies that would litter the floor, I stopped. I would not allow the monster to take advantage of the situation.
My aim was to drain only Isabella Swan, so maybe I didn't have to kill everyone in this room.
I re - thought my plan.
I was an actor, we all were.
Vampires playing the part of humans to fit into this meaningless world. Right now however, there was an advantage to this, I could use my skills to lead astray the one object of my desire.
I could introduce myself, offer to walk her to the next class only to mislead her towards my car with an excuse of a forgotten book. Yet if I opened my mouth to talk, I would taste her delicious scent and I would surely not be able to resist that without striking.
Although in this past minute alone, nobody watched her like I had, the girl still had many eyes were on her, today especially. Mike Newton was particularly fond of sneaking glances. He regretted already having a lab partner, wishing instead that Bella could sit inches from him.
Mike Newton would notice her missing. That plan was out.
While thinking of other directions I could go in, the girl placed her books on the table first before pulling the chair out and placing herself on it. Bella fidgeted on the stool unable to feel comfortable, making the monster smile.
Maybe she didn't have to follow me - I could follow her. Home to be pacific. Her father the Chief Police of Forks worked late so Bella would be alone and vulnerable after school hours.
Watching from an outside distance I would creep closer and closer. A door would be left open, granting me access to her fathers home. Unlike in Hollywood movies, we didn't need permission from the homeowner to enter. My vision had me creeping down the hallway silently, watching her prepare dinner…getting closer still. Springing to attack in the doorway, crushing her neck to my mouth.
I knew how it ended… the image of her lying broken and bloodless on the kitchen floor. Just the girl instead of a classroom full of teenagers. A trade.
The monster in me was ready and impatiently waiting to attack. With every move of her head or arm it sent another surge of her natural perfume around the room. It was like she was trying to provoke the monster.
Someone slammed their books onto a table then, sending a wave of blissful fresh air towards me.
And for a second I was free.
One second and I was able to think and rebel against what I didn't want to become. Before the air could become intoxicated with her again, I stopped breathing. I was dead. I didn't need the air travelling through my body. It was uncomfortable with no sense of smell - it was what lead us in the hunt. but it was much better than smelling her and fighting the constant urge to strike.
The result was freedom.
Yes, the fire was still present at the back of my throat but it no longer blazed. The venom flow decreased considerably and the monster writhed under my rein. I only had to last one hour like this before I could bid my escape.
Looking anywhere but her and her neck, I lent away from Bella, repulsed by what she had almost created me to do. She had no concept of how close I had been to killing her and this classroom of children just a few short seconds ago. How close I still was.
I was surprised that Alice had not burst through the biology room door from visions of my attack. I must not of been completely gone as I had thought. Or she was intently focused on Jasper to notice anything else.
Maybe this little girl was not as doomed as she should have been. No, that was not correct as she was sentenced to death in a little more than two hours.
In my peripheral vision, Bella lifted a few of her locks and smelt them… did she think she smelt bad? Is that what she thought my actions concluded?
Bella then swept her river of hair over her left shoulder, as if to provide the barrier of protection again but instead just throwing the scent towards me and rattling the agitated monster.
I froze in fear of what I would do.
One hour was all I had to last. One little hour.
Tuning out the monster, the voices in my head and the droning of the biology teacher, I sought out a distraction, my thoughts lead me to Carlisle and what he would have done in a situation like this. But alas he had not had one lapse in control in all his 370 years existence.
Instead he had looked to find a family, changing me first before finding his soul mate in Esme. Carlisle had built a home and teaching us from newborns how to portray the humans we used to be, to resist the urge for their blood.
Naturally in my teenage rebellion I left to find food of my own style. I thought I was making the world a better place but instead I was no better than the murderers and dangerous men I killed. After realising this I had returned to Carlisle and Esme. They had taken me back in with open arms that I did not deserve.
Within four years of my return Carlisle changed Rosalie and Emmett, then eventually a couple of decades later Alice and Jasper joined us and our family was complete.
I thought of everything Carlisle had done for us, for me. I would disappoint Carlisle if I were to kill the child sitting beside me. And that I didn't want. My mother would also be sad that a life had been taken. I was now glad Alice had foreseen no attack, for I was ashamed.
During the hour, Bella kept her hair between us, preventing me from reading her open eyes. In fact she barely moved, only once or twice to write down a note, or to stretch her arm out and turn a page.
I suddenly realised that I had unconsciously turned in my seat, toward the girl. A girl that I now hated. I hated her for her silent thoughts and for trying to make me become the one thing I had denied and fought against for several decades now. For making me feel weak.
Why had she come to this little town? To ruin the life we had built here? To purposely test me?
The rage took over and I was suddenly glaring down at her, I could feel the fury etched on my face. Should the phrase 'if looks could kill' have been more than just a figure of speak, this woman-child would not be breathing.
Sensing my glare, Bella looked up. Her position then switched - to move away from my hostile expression.
Mike Newton's excessive mental squirming caught my attention then, desperate for his chance to talk to Bella.
The bell needs to hurry up! He thought just as his wish was granted and it rang out.
Bella jumped in surprise at the loud noise and I made my escape, probably a little too quickly. Nobody noticed me however as they were all still fixated on the newcomer.
Marching along the corridor, my mind was whirling. I couldn't fathom spending another hour in a classroom, Emmett would understand. He would make up some excuse to the teacher or not. I didn't care either way.
Striding through the double doors, students parted at seeing my furious appearance.
Move out the way for Mr Cullen, god they think they're so special…
Don't say excuse me whatever you do.
Ripping my car door open and getting in, now alone I was able to consider everything without hundreds of voices screaming in my mind.
I wound down a window to try and rid of the scent that still clung to the insides of my mind.
The monster had vanished and so I could now fight, really fight against doing such an unforgivable act. If I had somehow managed to stop myself from striking even in the mist of hunger then I could somehow convince myself not to carry out followed plans.
The girl would live. I would not go to her house.
Instead I would…what would I do, now that I knew that was out there. How was it possible that she had changed everything in the short space of an hour?
It was her blood that created the problem. I could not resist it. But I could avoid it, I could avoid her like the plague that she was. She had come to this town to ruin me and I would not bow down to let it happen.
Avoiding her would be easy for the most part, we shared no other classes apart from biology and sat too far apart for her scent to touch me in the cafeteria.
Suddenly an idea struck me, within the matter of a second I was back in the wet drizzle walking up the short pathway to the administration office. Opening the entrance door the hot air hit me with the smell of polystyrene and cotton.
Mrs Cope looked up at the sound of the door opening. And almost immediately her heart beat faster at the sight of me. But in attraction not fright as it should have been.
Well hello there…he's young enough to be your son! Snap out of it.
Bethany Cope's thoughts were as immature as the children she was surrounded by. And incorrect, I was in fact older than some of her dead ancestors but my drivers license told her differently.
"Hello Mr Cullen, how may I help?" she said, fluttering her eye lashes.
"I was wondering if there was a different space available in the sixth hour." I replied, leaning on the desk as if I needed the support.
Her mind turned curious.
"Are you not currently taking Mr Banners biology class?"
"Yes, but I've studied the material before and would like something more… intriguing."
What's wrong with taking a class you've already learnt? Maybe there's a problem with Jim. Although he's said nothing before, always good praise about the Cullen's. Mrs Cope assessed the situation while tapping quietly on her computer, I waited patiently.
"I'm sorry Edward but there are no spaces available at the moment."
The office door opened, I didn't turn to see who it was and the person didn't bother me with their thoughts so I continued with the discussion.
"There must be something more open, an art class? Chemistry? French?"
"I'm sorry but every class is full at the moment."
Surely there must be something more going on than…
"Could I maybe use the hour then for self study?"
But at that moment the door opened again, sending a blast of air towards me.
I didn't move.
In my peripheral sight, Emma Smith merely dropped a note into a mesh basket and left. I now understood why the first person had not interrupted me with her thoughts.
That scent, the scent that I was agonizing over filled the small room. I turned slowly to once again glare at Isabella Swan. She had her back pressed to the wall and her hair gathered around her face. The monster reared its ugly head for the second time today.
I would not need to turn around in order to smash the receptionists face down hard enough to end her life. Fighting against the demon, it took every ounce of restrain in me to turn back around. Mrs Cope's eyes widened, shocked at my sudden change in expression.
Knowing that I had little time to get my words out I quickly said:
"Never mind then, I can see its impossible. Thank you so much for your help."
I held my breathe and every muscle in my body as I walked swiftly towards and out of the door without another glance at Bella Swan.
I was abruptly furious once more. Even in my attempt to avoid the one hour I had with her, she had been there. Taunting me with her intoxicating scent. She was my own personal devil sent straight from hell.
My family waited for me by the car, I had it open and we were in and away, turning the corner onto the main road before everything crashed down on me.
"You're leaving." Alice quietly stated. Is that what she saw?
"Am I?" I hissed. Her vision flashed in my mind, a forest, trees rushing by. An image of me running. It was crystal clear. It was the only way to escape from her.
Rosalie just glared at me from the back seat. Emmett looked dumbfounded. I was seething with anger. At myself. At her. At this stupid little town.
"Either that or…" She showed me stalking the girl in the house as I had intentionally planned. Her broken body lying on the floor at an odd angle.
"No!" I shook my head trying to clear it of the images I didn't want to see.
The calming waves Jasper sent my way did nothing for me.
"What is going on!?" Emmett looked between me and Alice for an answer.
We ignored him.
You should at least inform Carlisle, he has a right to know where his son is.
I carried on driving, towards the entrance of our hideaway, contemplating my decision.
Leave the car here Edward, go to Carlisle. I'll inform the others.
I looked down at my sister.
Leaving would be the correct thing to do, to go away and regain control of myself.
How long would I be gone? A day? A week? A year?
Nodding once, I stomped on the brakes, halting the car.
I'll miss you Edward. Alice thought. Yes, I would also miss my pixie like sister.
Leaving the engine running and door wide open, I ran.
My shoes barely touched the ground of the forest, the wind whipped through my hair. The rain was now picking up, dropping from the tree branch to tree branch more quickly. Trees passed inches from me. To human eyes it would be a green blur. But I could see every raindrop as it fell, each leaf swaying in the wind.
Reaching the outskirts of the hospital I slowed down to a walk. Like most buildings around it, the hospital was made from brick. Checking no one was around, I stepped out of the woods, walking past the side of the building, rounding the corner and heading for the main entrance. Inside, my shoes squeaked against the lino and my coat dripped water on the floor where I walked. I paid no attention to it.
I walked at a fairly fast pace for a human, too angry to stay true to the role, down hallways, round corners until I finally reached Carlisle's office.
At my entrance, Carlisle stood up in alarm at seeing me here.
"Edward what's wrong?" he inquired walking round his desk.
"I have to get out of here Carlisle."
What has happened? You didn't attack someone did you?
"No. No but I will if I remain here. Her blood its…" In my anger I was shaking, my hands clenched by my sides. I could feel the pull to run, not away from but to that house where I knew I would I would find her.
Of course, your eyes I should of guessed, excuse my thoughts. Her? Who Edward?
"Of course, the towns new arrival, what do you need?"
"I have to leave, before I do something stupid. Please Carlisle, help me."
I could barely get my words out, desperate for escape.
"Do what you have to do Edward. Here, take my car its faster than running." Be safe son. Come home when you can…
With a nod of my head in thanks, I swiftly turned around and made my way back through the hospital to the main entrance. The car was easy to find in the small parking bay.
And soon I had my foot on the gas and was speeding away from forks, away from my home.