A/N: Thanks for reading so far, and double thanks for the reviews! It is likely that the pace will pick up quickly after this chapter, (at this point I anticipate about 4 or 5 more until this particular story has run its course) and much drama and emotions will ensue; enjoy this calm before the proverbial storm :) But don't forget...without storms there would be no rainbows!
I've never been good with words, music was always my first language and English seems so foreign to me at times. Like the words available can never quite explain what I feel or think, as though it's a language meant for someone else, but not me. I learned how to use it, sure, but my native tongue has always been in rhythmic tones and beats, not letters and words, so forgive me if I stumble and my letter isn't nearly as awesome as yours was. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm real, very real, and the connection you wrote about it definitely not one sided. I find myself thinking about you pretty much all the time, and ever song I hear reminds me of you in someway. You know, I hear music in so many places...because of that, I guess it means that I always feel like you're around me. I hope that's less creepy than I think it might be, but I don't mean to be creepy, I just want to know more about you. If you listen to my songs, you can feel what I feel, but you can ask me anything you want, too. I want to know more about all that is Chloe. For example, why did you get a ladybug tattoo? Where did you get the (adorable) scar on your forehead? What's your favorite color? If you could take only three things with you on an island for a year, what would they be? I think I've embarrassed myself enough for now, but I hope you now know that I'm real, not too terribly strange, and that despite the fact that we don't know each other that well, I really like you Chloe.
Your very own personal DJ
Beca reread the letter she had typed on the computer, and satisfied enough with the results, she began to copy it by hand in her small block printing. Despite the fact that she was okay with opening up in a personal letter, she didn't feel quite ready to bare her soul by revealing who she was quite yet. If Jesse was correct, and Chloe did really like the person behind the music, maybe after a while it wouldn't matter that the person behind the music was a girl. After copying a few music files onto yet another flash drive, Beca dropped the small plastic device inside an envelope with her letter and stuffed it in the rear pocket of her jeans. She'd swing by Chloe's on her way to grab something to eat, but she wanted it to be hidden just in case she ran into the older girl along the way. She had sent Jesse a text to see if he wanted to meet up with her, but even half an hour later he had yet to reply. Even though it wasn't like him not to respond, she figured he got caught up in rehearsal with the Trebles. Shrugging it off, she grabbed a lightweight hoodie and headed toward the room Chloe and Aubrey shared.
As she approached the co-captains room, Beca listened intently for any sign of movement inside. Looking around, she saw no one in the hallway, and quickly shoved the envelope under the door. Walking away quickly, she rounded the corner too sharply and ran into something soft and warm. Stumbling back a step, Beca looked up, eyes narrowed in annoyance that quickly gave way to nervousness when she recognized the person she collided with was Chloe. She only hoped that Chloe wouldn't associate her with the envelope...at least not yet.
"Beca, I am like so sorry! I don't even know where my mind was!" Chloe apologized profusely, reaching out a hand to steady the smaller brunette who looked visibly shaken.
Smiling in an attempt to appear less guilty, Beca's expression softened and she laughed. "It's really okay, I wasn't paying attention either. Are you okay?" She asked, trying not to appear overly concerned.
"Totally! I'm good. Hey, were you looking for me?" Chloe asked, praying the hopefulness in her voice wasn't readily apparent.
"Um, no, I was just, I had to drop notes off down the hall for someone," Beca tried to make the lie sound convincing, rolling her eyes in mock exasperation at the imaginary classmate.
"Well, if you're not doing anything, want to hang out for a bit?" Chloe appeared collected, but Beca noticed that she had drawn her lower lip between her teeth, biting it nervously.
Momentarily forgetting that she had just left one of the most awkwardly personal letters under the door she was being asked to enter, Beca readily agreed. The idea of spending more time with the personable redhead was clearly overriding any sense of preservation she might have had. After consenting, she followed the taller girl back to her room, and again bumped into her as the older girl stopped quickly and bent to pick up the envelope. Unfortunately, Beca didn't have enough warning to stop herself, and the momentum sent her reeling on top of Chloe for the second time that day. Landing in a tangle of limbs on the carpet, the two laughed comfortably, and as Chloe flashed her a wink and a smile, Beca joked about them "Always ending up like this these days." Chloe tried to read the younger girl's emotions, but under the smoky eye makeup, the grey-blue eyes gave no secrets away.
As they rose, Chloe couldn't tear her eyes away from the envelope clasped in her hands that bore the handwriting she was growing accustomed to. "Chloe" was all that was written on it, but she could feel both a letter and another drive inside the vague wrapping. Knowing she shouldn't ask, but unable to stop herself, Beca gestured nonchalantly to the note, and in a surprisingly even voice asked, "Love letter?"
Chloe's head snapped up, quickly remembering she wasn't alone, and smiled softly at her friend. "Sort of. I don't know. It's weird. But kind of wonderful? I don't know." Her voice trailed off. It was too soon to start to talk about the situation, especially with Beca, though she wasn't sure quite why she felt that way. Brushing off the way the shorter girl's eye contact made her stomach flutter, she firmly decided it had to be because she was pretty sure Beca liked that Jesse boy. She groaned inwardly. What a mess this was becoming! Placing the letter on her desk to deal with later, she flung herself gracefully onto her bed, grabbing one of her many throw pillows. Seeing that Beca was still standing in the center of the room, she patted the bed next to her. "Have a seat. I don't bite!" She raised an eyebrow, and the corner of her mouth turned up an a half smile. For a brief moment, she thought she saw a flash of something akin to desire reflected in Beca's eyes. But as soon as she thought she saw it, it vanished, replaced with the brunette's signature sarcastic eye roll.
"So what do you usually do in the evening, Miss Beale?" Beca asked in a feigned reporter voice, extending an invisible microphone that the redhead immediately leaned over to speak into.
"Well, dahling, I generally work on homework, or read, listen to music, the usual activities of a woman of my class." Chloe answered in a faux upper-class voice.
"So what kind of music do you like?" Beca adjusted her weight on the bed, bringing her body in contact with Chloe's, and sensing no resistance from the older girl, Beca allowed the contact to continue. It was simultaneously jolting and comforting, something akin to listening to a song that gave you chills while setting your skin on fire. Beca decided it was her new favorite feeling, and hoped that Chloe didn't hear the soft sigh escape her lips.
The taller girl jumped up, and Beca immediately feared she had overstepped her boundaries, but relaxed when she saw Chloe was just moving over to her laptop. Chloe looked over to Beca, and before she could stop the words, began nervously rambling, "I don't usually talk about music. My favorite music, anyway, the kind that really moves me or gets to me, or makes me feel something. I mean, sure, radio songs I sing to and stuff we perform with the Bella's, that's for everyone, but some music I feel is just for me. It's probably because...nevermind, it doesn't matter, anyway, I feel really, um...close to you? Like we have some kind of deep soul-sister type connection. Wow does that sound corny. Anyway, listen to this..." her words faded out as she hit play on her computer, the familiar tones of Beca's own mix permeating the air.
For a moment, Beca felt as though she couldn't breathe; it was all just too much. The music, the sounds of her creation reverberating through Chloe, around Chloe, watching the beautiful form of the other girl sway, her perfect lips moving along with the song Beca had placed together, it was surreal. Beca's breath caught in her throat, and she closed her eyes to try and slow her heartbeat and her breathing, allowing her breaths to naturally conform to a slower tempo. It was as though she was creating a new mash-up of herself and her song, the song that was Chloe, but also adding in the reality of Chloe. As she opened her eyes, she saw that Chloe's eyes were now closed and she had a beautiful, serene look of pure content on her face. Beca couldn't help but feel a sense of joy filling her heart; for the first time in a very, very long time, Beca Mitchell felt happy. Realizing the absurdity of the moment, reeling herself in before she launched herself across the room into the arms of the girl she was most certainly falling for, Beca did what she did best; she built up walls around her heart, cocooning her emotions in a sea of bass beats and drums that drowned the feelings she had been succumbing to just moments before. When the track ended, Beca shyly admitted that it was awesome, and then politely excused herself to go finish an assignment. Chloe, already speculating about the contents of the still unopened letter gave Beca a warm parting hug that she hoped didn't make the younger girl feel uncomfortable, and wondered again why she enjoyed the company of the brunette as much as she did, and why she seemed to feel and hear music more clearly when Beca was around.