I cried. Again.
Let me be the first to say this.
I miss you. With every fiber in my body. I miss waking up with you next to me, your sweet kisses, your hearty laugh, and voice. But mostly, I just miss you.
I wish I could turn back the clock to that horrible night. But I can't. But I will forever be wishing I could.
I blame myself everyday for losing you. If I hadn't asked you to go get ice cream for me, maybe you would still be here. Maybe that gunman wouldn't have targeted you. And I'm so sorry. It kills me. I will never forgive myself.
I can't tell you I'm doing great, but slowly, every day, I'm getting better. Madge and Annie come by almost everyday. Annie with Flinn, and her other baby boy, Kale. They play with Aster a lot.
God I wish you could see her. She had your eyes. Everything she does reminds me of you. She's the only thing that keeps me moving everyday. The only reason I get up in the morning.
She asks about you. A lot. And it kills me each time. Sometimes she'll scream at me, demanding to know where you've gone, and why you won't be coming back.
She's already so smart for being 5. I know she misses you, even if she's never met you.
I pray everyday, that ill wake up from this nightmare, and your arms will be wrapped around me closely. That you'll be tickling me before sunrise.
I can only hope.
I miss you Cato. Please come back. I don't know how much longer I can go without you. I need a sign, something, anything to keep me going. Please. I just want you next to me. In your old red truck, walking in the park.
I miss you.
I love you.
Please come home to me.